The neurosurgeon more powerful than Cheney

Yesterday Siddhartha informed us all of the first Indian American governor to ever hold office in the U.S. (even if it will only be for a few days). It is a proud step forward. I mean, the only powerful desi politician right now is Bobby Jindal, and we all know there are mixed emotions regarding him. The situation in New Jersey got me thinking as to whether or not there is any other back door action to be taken advantage of out there. Can us desis (who often face an electability hurdle because of the pronunciation of our names and our brown faces) get our hands on the levers of power by “non-traditional” means instead?

As most of you are aware, South Dakota’s senior senator, Tim Johnson, fell ill a couple of weeks ago:

In Washington, D.C., on December 13, 2006, during the broadcast of a live radio interview with WNAX radio in Yankton, South Dakota, Johnson suffered bleeding in the brain caused by cerebral arteriovenous malformation, a congenital problem that causes enlarged and tangled blood vessels. He underwent surgery at George Washington University Hospital to drain the blood and stop further bleeding. Johnson’s condition was critical after the surgery. Johnson’s physician, Admiral John Eisold, said that day that “[i]t is premature to determine whether further surgery will be required or to assess any long-term prognosis.”

As of December 28, 2006, Johnson remained hospitalized in George Washington University Hospital. According to a neurosurgeon on the hospital’s staff, Johnson was being weaned from the medication used to keep him sedated, and he was opening his eyes and responding to his wife. [Link]

Johnson’s health is critical to the balance of power in our country. The Senate has 49 Republicans, 49 Democrats, and two Independents that caucus with the Democrats. This equates to a 51-49 majority for the Dems. If Johnson is permanently incapacitated then the Republican governor of South Dakota can appoint someone to fill the vacancy. He will most definitely appoint a Republican. Thus, we will be at 50-50 again and Vice President Cheney (a.k.a. Lord of the Sith) would become the tie-breaking vote. The Republicans would then control the Senate as before the recent election. Enter Dr. Vivek Deshmukh:

The surgery on Johnson was performed by Dr. Vivek Deshmukh, a neurosurgeon with special expertise and subspecialty training in cerebrovascular and endovascular neurosurgery, the statement said. The surgical team included Caputy and Dr. Anthony Venbrux, director of cardiovascular and interventional radiology. The surgery was a success, the statement said. [Link]

“Senator Johnson is sedated to allow his systems to rest and recover from the hemorrhage, and we anticipate no further tests or procedures in the near future,” neurosurgeon Vivek Deshmukh said in a statement issued by Johnson’s office.

“This is expected to continue through the holidays,” Vivek added. [Link]

Here is what I am slowly leading to. Rather than trying in futility to get desis to win political office, maybe we should try a more circuitous approach to the problem. Can anyone contest that Dr. Deshmukh is currently the most powerful man in America? What I am advocating is that we encourage young desis to perhaps go into non-traditional fields like medicine. We might be able to make more of a political impact that way.

Continue reading

We’re open for business y’all

In case it isn’t already abundantly clear, SM would like to annouce that we have just opened our first southern U.S. bureau offices in Houston, Texas. For all of you Texas lurkers and commenters, now is your time to represent. We may have our first Texas meet-up in February. Make sure you guys fill out the Events Tab with pertinent local events as well.

Banner courtesy of Xnomad.com

Continue reading

This man made this table

Having shunned the blue temple I have decided to do my furniture shopping on-line where I am more in control of my experience and no blue arrows will show me the way. Per a friend’s recommendation I have been checking out the website Overstock.com. As many of you know, online shopping is now easier than ever. Not only can you read the (often fake) opinions of other buyers, but they also offer you several enlarged views of the item(s) in question. While shopping for a coffee and end table I came upon this find: Kishu End Table (India). “Oh, it’s from India,” I thought. Maybe I should help my peoples out. I decided to take a closer look at the enlarged pictures and this is what I found:

Product Description: Add a touch of India to your decor with the Kishu end table.

I mean, what the hell?!? Does seeing a picture of the man who supposedly made this table make me somehow more inclined to buy it? Do they similarly put up pictures of the 10-year-old Chinese kids who make most of the other products? I couldn’t find any other products where they pulled some exotification crap like this. Any yet strangely, I am now drawn to this table. Maybe a touch of India is what is called for in these mass produced times.

Continue reading

Sadhu Claus

I know this picture is a few days late but I could only get to it now. The question is will Hindu Nationalists see this as an assault against Hinduism or only an assault against fashion? Santa Claus comes to deliver gifts. Sadhu Claus comes asking for them.

If he came down my chimney I’d freak. Be honest. You would too.

Continue reading

The "Buddha Boy" returns

A few months ago our News Tab was blowing up with people pointing us to the story of Ram Bahaudr Bomjon (a.k.a. the Buddha Boy) of Nepal:

Ram Bahadur Bomjon (born May 9, 1989, sometimes Bomjan or Banjan), also known as Palden Dorje (his official Buddhist name), is a young Buddhist monk from Ratanapuri village, Bara district, Nepal who drew thousands of visitors and media attention for spending months in meditation, allegedly without food or water, although this claim is widely contested. Nicknamed the Buddha Boy, he began his meditation on May 16, 2005. He went missing on March 11, 2006 and reappeared on December 25, 2006. [Link]

Just this past week the famed “Buddha Boy” re-emerged from the woods so dark into which he had disappeared for the last 10 months. Come on, was he really living in the woods for 10 whole months? Pictures never lie folks. If David Blaine can live inside an ice cube than surely this boy can live in the woods doing nothing but meditating:

Continue reading

Prabir Swings the Axe


In the spirit of the holiday season and the Macaca Music Poll, here’s a gift of Sepia hype for another aspiring rock band with desi leadership. It helps that they’re pretty damn good! Prabir and the Substitutes are from — where else? — the real world of Virginia and play real short power-pop songs with throwback 1970s/psychedelic inclinations, all the way to the background ooh-ooh harmonizing, Brian Wilson references and best of all, Prabir-ji’s monumental muttonchops, in which small animals could take shelter from the elements, and which you can admire in their full glory at the end of this clip. Rock on, blood! Continue reading

Potholes In My Lawn

potholes061.jpgI know you all are extremely busy today launching software companies, studying for doctorates, curing terminal diseases, acquiring hotel chains, preparing court challenges to the government’s terrorism policies, and writing the great desi novel (preferably all at once), but you’ll still want to take a moment out of your schedule at 11:45 AM EST today, when Kris Kolluri, age 38, native of Hyderabad, takes the oath of office as Governor of the State of New Jersey.

The brother’s term will extend through the remainder of December 28th and perhaps into December 29th, making this the longest tenure yet of an Indian-American as chief executive of an American state. The Indian press is aflutter with excitement, expressed in felicitous prose:

Good things come in small packages. No one better than Kris Kolluri, who will be the first Indian American to become the governor of a US state for only a day, seems to know this.

And:

News of his pending 24-hour promotion already went international, according to Kolluri, who said his father was visiting relatives in India and called to say he saw his son on television.

The ominous charge of steering the ship of state has befallen Brother Kolluri as New Jersey Governor Jon Corzine, Senate President Richard Codey, House Speaker Joe Roberts, and Attorney General Stuart Rabner have all scandalously abandoned their post of duty in favor of such frivolities as annual vacations and the Rutgers-Kansas State Texas Bowl college football game being held tonight in Houston. (Our own Abhi will be there picketing the event.)

This mass dereliction of duty leaves Kolluri to juggle the stewardship of the state’s business with his already considerable duties as state Transportation Commissioner, responsible for the management and upkeep of the Garden State’s roads and railways, without whom the classic “What exit?” joke about New Jersey would become a hoary atavism.

Sepia Mutiny extends a hearty “Zindabad!” to Kris Kolluri. Your achievement elevates us all! Enjoy your day at Drumthwacket. How about throwing a party tonight? Continue reading

The 2006 Macaca Music Poll: The Results Are In!


YES YES YÂ’ALL, and you donÂ’t stop! ItÂ’s the moment youÂ’ve been waiting for. I am happy to bring you the results of the 2006 Inaugural Sepia Mutiny Macaca Music Poll. It took me some time to compile the results, a task made both necessary and pleasant by the high quality and fabulous diversity of your submissions. The best part of all, for me, was that you forced me to listen to a whole lot of music IÂ’d never heard of, or not gotten around to hear. Dhanyawad, bahut dhanyawad, for expanding my ears.

After weeding out submissions of music that came out earlier than 2006, and disregarding entries of a trollish or spamlike nature, we were left with 56 valid ballots. They seem to divide evenly among men and women, confirming that music geekery is a democratic and universal condition. Regulars and lurkers are evenly represented as well. The full list of voters is at the end of this post.

And now…drumroll please…the results: Continue reading

The ISI Always Rings Twice

The ABC News blog The Blotter reports that the ISI did a number on an American news correspondent and her Pakistani photographer sometime recently:

New York Times correspondent Carlotta Gall tells ABC News she was assaulted by plain-clothed government security agents while reporting in Quetta, a Pakistani city near the Afghan frontier where NATO suspects the Taliban hides its shadow government.

Akhtar Soomro, a freelance Pakistani photographer working with Gall, was detained for five-and-a-half hours. According to Gall, the agents broke down the door to her hotel room, after she refused to let them enter, and began to seize her notebooks and laptop. When she tried to stop them, she says one of the men punched her twice in the face and head.

“I fell backwards onto a coffee table smashing the crockery,” she recalled in a written account of the incident. “I have heavy bruising on my arms, on my temple and my cheekbone, and swelling on my left eye and a sprained knee.”

Gall says the agents accused her and Soomro of trying to meet the Taliban. They identified themselves as working for Pakistan’s Special Branch, an undercover police department, but Gall said other local reporters identified them as employees from one of the country’s two powerful spy agencies: Inter-Services Intelligence or Military Intelligence.

The Committee to Protect Journalists ranked Pakistan the “third most dangerous” place in the world to work in 2006, after two journalists died in violent circumstances, and more than a dozen others were abducted or assaulted by state authorities.

In its annual report, Reporters without Borders complained that in Pakistan “investigative journalists are constantly targeted by military security services, which have no hesitation in harassing anyone they find troublesome.” It was the first reported incident of Pakistani agents belting a female reporter.

Gall said the Minister of State for Information, Tariq Azeem Khan, apologized for the incident and helped secure the release of the photographer and Gall’s belongings. But she says he told her to inform Pakistani authorities ahead of future visits to Quetta “to avoid such difficulties.”

I will limit my comments, many of which would be obvious anyway. It is worth pointing out however that this incident should remind us that as difficult as it is to be a foreign correspondent in a country where political conditions are dodgy, local freelancers such as Ms. Gall’s photographer are even more exposed. I commend the brother for his courage and I hope he stays safe. Continue reading

Not A Hate Crime

…unless the crime was self-hate. In a story that keeps getting sent my way, it turns out that a Sikh teenager in Scotland lied about having his hair cut during a racist attack (via the BBC):

The boy from Edinburgh reported the alleged racist attack in November and the case was widely publicised.
The cutting of his hair was an act which was seen as deeply insulting to the Sikh faith.
Lothian and Borders Police confirmed the attack had not taken place and said the boy had expressed remorse. They said no further action would be taken.

The Sikh community in the United Kingdom rallied around the child:

More than 200 Sikhs from around the UK gathered in Edinburgh to hold a two-hour prayer vigil following the boy’s claims.

It turns out that the boy cut his own hair and injured himself to simulate a crime:

The teenager is believed to have had personal problems and was also having cultural identity issues brought about by differences between his Sikh upbringing and Western society
Police officers sent a report on the incident to the procurator fiscal but it is understood the teenager will not face charges for wasting police time because a prosecution is not felt to be in the public interest.

One thing I have a question about is the phrasing of this line from the BBC article I quoted throughout this post:

Hair is a religious symbol for Sikhs and it is strictly against their faith to have it shorn.

If it’s strictly against Sikhism to cut your hair, what does that make all the Sikhs who have done so? I’m not satisfied with some of the answers I’ve read online, so I’m going to more reliable sources, i.e. you. 🙂 Is it a question of only needing to keep your hair if you were baptized? I always thought it was an “ideally, you’re not supposed to cut it” situation, not a “strictly against Sikhism” one. I know I will be edified in oh, approximately four minutes. Such is the power of the Mutiny.

While I wait for that inevitable development, I’ll state that I’m really sad for this kid. As is the case for most of us, being a teenager sucked for me– and I feel compassion for him because I, too, so wanted to cut the hair that fell to my KNEES, which I wasn’t allowed to leave loose, let alone get rid of– but I still can’t imagine a moment when I’d feel compelled to do similar. My heart goes out to him and everyone else who was affected by his actions. Continue reading