Community cable, the gift that keeps on giving

Some Black Israelites wear very Sikh-looking turbans and beards (thanks, Ennis):

Remember that Marley song?

African American and African Caribbean Christianity had long developed a comparison of their experience in the New World with that of the Jews held in slavery in Egypt, particularly as regards the Book of Exodus… [Link]

We know where we’re going; we know where we’re from
We’re leaving Babylon, we’re going to our fatherland

Exodus, movement of Jah people…
Send us another Brother Moses gonna cross the Red Sea…

— Bob Marley, ‘Exodus

A small number took the analogy literally and moved to Israel:

The African Hebrew Israelite Nation of Jerusalem is a small religious group whose members believe they are descended from the Ten Lost Tribes of Israel. With a population of over 2000, most members live in their own community in Dimona, Israel. The Black Hebrews practice polygamy. [Link]

In contrast, the guy on TV was ranting against Israel even while sitting beneath a Star of David:

Some Black Hebrew Israelites, like Israelite Heritage, are anti-Semitic, and focus on Jews, as Edomites and Khazars acting on behalf of Satan and secretly controlling the United States. [Link]

Related posts: Da Star in dastar, Everyone recycles

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White guys in turbans

More white guys in badly-tied turbans, no beards, speaking in that bad simulacrum of a non-existent accent, folding their hands and calling each other Akmed, wearing nametags that say ‘Singh.’ That’s Scott LaRose with a very complicit Art Malik on the left (thanks, BB).

It’s like an entire generation modeled their insulting stereotypes on Peter Sellers. And, like Bollywood, TV and film for black audiences tend to be even more casually racist about desis and East Asians than mainstream media.

But then you should never take a movie like Booty Call (1997) seriously, not even in reruns It’s got characters named Lysterine, Yoyo, Ug Lee and Bunz.

Watch the clip (12MB; you need a BitTorrent downloader: Windows, Mac).

Related posts: Peter Sellers still outsells actual desis, Giants, dwarves and lemurs, Goodness gracious, Peter Sellers is alive, Mr. Birdie Num-Num gets a biopic, ”The Party” remake

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You know everything’s changed when…

You know everything’s changed when you see a black kid wearing this throwback varsity jacket on the subway and realize that…

  1. After 7/7, you could never wear it on the subway, and

  2. Subway cops are now inaccurately suspicious more of you than of him
Fritz Pollard formed this African-American football team ([New York Brown Bombers], named for African-American heavyweight boxer Joe Louis) after the NFL adopted a policy of segregation. [Link]

… the Brown Bombers [were] a professional team that played in Harlem for three highly successful seasons – funded by a loan from John D. Rockefeller Jr., a friend from Pollard’s days at Brown. The Bombers’ roster was a Who’s Who of black athletes at the time, including players from basketball and baseball leagues as well as former NFL stars. The Depression and the war ended the Brown Bombers’ run in 1938. [Link]

By the way, the Brown Bombers jacket is not actually a bomber jacket, and the Brown Bombers are not the same as the Bronx Bombers, the Brooklyn Bombers or the London bombers.

Related post: Worst timing ever

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RTFT-shirt

I am a very patient man. Still, even I sometimes get tired of explaining to people who I am, what I am, where I come from, and what I am not. I found this on flickr, and think it would be perfect for those days when I just don’t want to go through the song and dance. It would make a great t-shirt:

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Wax dummy

A new off-Broadway play about a desi student’s loss of innocence is running off-Broadway through Feb. 25. Huck & Holden refers, of course, to two iconic characters in American lit (thanks, SD).

Here’s a positive review:

Navin’s story begins deceptively, as a collegiate, slapstick coming-to-America tale about a young man just arrived from Calcutta, who’s as clueless about American literature as he is about sex. But as Navin (Nick Choksi) begins exploring his newfound independence, and his burgeoning feelings for the pretty young librarian Michelle (Cherise Boothe), the story transforms into one of unexpected soul and depth…

And, of course, there’s Kali, fancifully realized here as the embodiment of chaos working to establish order, and dazzlingly portrayed by Nilaja Sun. Her careful steps, strenuously stylized hand gestures, and ugly-meets-beautiful dance to cover Navin and Torry’s fisticuffs make her a hilarious and horrifying joy to watch. [Link]

And one more faint:After discovering Navin with a porn mag called Brown Honey, Torry teaches him how to wax a girl’s @ss

Navin’s introduction to the American way of life is explored almost solely through sex, particularly as embodied in the person of Michelle (Boothe), an African-American library worker who befriends Navin while undergoing a breakup with her tough-guy boyfriend Torry (McClain). There is obvious comic potential in this particular culture clash, but the action coasts entirely on the undignified level of racial burlesque, replete with a contrived scenario in which Torry, after discovering Navin with a porn mag called Brown Honey, proceeds to give the naïve Indian a tutorial in how to wax a girl’s ass…

Michelle receives visitations from the Hindu goddess Kali (Nilaja Sun), incarnated here as a trash-talkin’ mama whose caricature, if borderline offensive, at least breathes some life onto the stage. Still, if you’re not fond of stereotypes, do yourself a favor and read some Twain and Salinger instead. [Link]

Huck & Holden, Cherry Lane Theatre, 38 Commerce St., Manhattan; through Feb 25, Tue – Fri at 7pm, Sat at 3pm and 7pm; buy tickets

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‘Tumhara naam kya hai, Basanti?’

What’s your name, Basanti?’: Rang De Basanti is a commercial blockbuster in the guise of protest cinema. While City of God rose from the barrios, Basanti rose from Juhu Beach. Yes, it’s an earnest critique of corruption and apathy. But it’s also Aamir Khan’s second Lagaan clone: same English love interest, same chest-pounding nationalism, same period costume drama. Our Peter Pan in high-waisted pants is calculating and relentless.

Basanti hangs on an interesting gimmick: an English filmmaker persuades a group of Delhi University students to act in her documentary. As they reenact the Indian independence struggle, they evolve from cynical partiers into hardcore patriots. But after real life (or intermission) intrudes, the plot goes medieval on your ass.

Aamir Khan leans on the same regional rube routine he’s used since Rangeela, only he’s Punjabi Sikh, not Marathi. The real stars are Saif Ali’s über-cute sister Soha Ali Khan, the handsome Kunal Kapoor (no relation to Shashi Kapoor’s son) and A.R. Rahman’s romantic ditty ‘Tu Bin Bataye.’

The movie begins a wastrel yuuuth flick like Dil Chahta Hai and Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak. There’s lots of cheesy ’80s rock guitar, very Karate Kid. Cool, yaar, stop pressurizing me, let’s freak out. At least the cheese is set off with slick music vid cuts. Then it mashes the patriotism button hard with fighter jets streaming the colors of the tiranga. It’s Top Guna for those still in the crib when Goose was in the sod.

The movie smothers its best idea in Bollywood-style subtlety, which is to say none. Like in Africa, corrupt politicians have replaced European colonists as the Man who’s Keepin’ You Down. It’s a neat transposition, but for the mentally slow, the director dissolves the Butcher of Jallianwalla Bagh directly into a corrupt government minister. It’s like admiring someone from afar until they leer at you and grab their crotch.

On the other hand, the blonde isn’t fetishized here, nor is she the babe; that falls to Soha Ali Khan. Alice Patten delivers her lines in the best phonetic Hindi I’ve heard from a Brit actor yet. And it’s always fun watching photogenic desi jocks — those are not the types let into the U.S. on brains. It’s a reasonably original script, not a lift of Oldboy, The Game or Fight Club (thanks, GC). It’s a current issues film, which in the U.S. is considered death at the box office. And it touched me, I let the manipulation in.

This is one of the three-to-four Bollywood movies a year truly worth seeing. I dislike the showy, force-fed patriotism, and the motorcycle/electric guitar factor is tacky and lame, but the issues it tackles are extremely topical: India’s rising self-confidence, the end of the brain drain and a newfound determination to throw the bums out.

WARNING: Plot summary and spoilers below.

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Brown V-day Haikus

I wanted to tell you about an cool V-day haiku contest that my friends over at Breakupgirl.net have put together (yes, there are prizes). Being me, I’m naturally informing you about it on IST, right up against the deadline. Submit your best valentines day efforts here, according to these rules:

The 411 on 5-7-5

With this contest, we honor the noble Japanese poetic form — the demure yet powerful haiku — as the only literary vehicle with the suppleness to master the depths and breadths of woo and rue that blossom at this black/magic time of year. Turn your insights and/or outrage into subtle poly-syllabic philosophies that follow this timeless equation: 5 + 7 + 5 = 17. To demonstrate:

First, five syllables.
Then, seven in the middle.
See? That’s seventeen!

Entries will be accepted until Saturday, February 11 at 12 midnight, and the winning haikus will be unfurled on February 14 for all to see. [Link]

Submit your entries to the contest and leave your submissions in the comments as well. I’m playing around with a few desi-themed ideas:

Her dal was tasty
Hungrily, I married her
It was all takeout

Spicy! Exotic!
Was this a personals ad,
or a Times story?

Not great, but I just came up with them now. You might find greater inspiration by looking at some of the past winners:

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‘Costa Mesa Dreams’ just doesn’t have the same ring

Bombay Dreams the musical is going on a seven-month North American tour, including Toronto, and dholbanger Dave Sharma is going with it. First stop: Costa Mesa, California, on Feb. 21.

Sachin Bhatt plays Akaash

The final cast was announced this week:

Sachin Bhatt will star as Akaash with Sandra Allen as Rani and Reshma Shetty as Priya in the upcoming tour.. The cast will also feature Deep Katdare as Vikram, Aneesh Sheth as Sweetie, Suresh John as Madan and Christine Toy Johnson as Kitty DeSousa.

The Bombay Dreams ensemble comprises Enrique Acevedo, Tia Altinay, Nita Baxani, Shane Bland, Wendy Calio, Sujana Chand, Tiffany Michelle Cooper, Aaron Coulson, Diane Angela Fong, Monica Kapoor, Namita Kapoor, Stephanie Crain Klemons, Jeremy Leiner, Garrick Macatangay, Kenneth Maharaj, Anil Margsahayam, Skie Ocasio, Desmond Osborne, Christopher Quiban, Kristian Richards, Rommy Sandhu and Marie Kelly. [Link]

Sachin Bhatt… of St. Louis, MO received his B.S. in Vocal Performance with an outside field in Theatre from Indiana University… Sachin will be playing the role of Chino in the upcoming Asian/European Tour of West Side Story… [Link]

Fortunately, the star attraction will be there with them:

The fountain will be featured in the tour… the costumes are from the Broadway production. [Link]
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Bollywood Actress Nadira Passes Away

One of Bollywood’s only Jewish actresses has died. Born Florence Ezekiel but known as Nadira, she starred in ‘Aan’, ‘Shree 420’, ‘Dil Apna Preet Parayee’ and later ‘Julie’. _41313138_nadira203.jpg

From the BBC:

Veteran Bollywood actress Nadira, 75, has passed away in Mumbai (Bombay) after a prolonged illness.
Tributes have been pouring in for the former star, who is best remembered for her role in the film, Shri 420.

She had a golden career:

She had won several awards in a career spanning 50 years.
She will be best known for her portrayal of a Westernised woman and her arched eyebrows. Many critics considered her to be far ahead of her times.

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55Friday: The Lupercalia Edition

A few shame-spiral-filled weeks pass and the prodigal blogger returns. My apologies for not giving you a space and reason to play— an especially regrettable fault, since the last nanofiction orgy inspired some of my favorite 55s ever, as you wrote miniature matrimonials for yourself and others.

One-time SM guest-rockstar Cicatrix was two for two with her dead-on impressions of certain boys we know:

Mysterious pajamahadeen, muscular yet partial to velvet, seeks wheatish girl for soulful rocketblogging sessions. Must be fluent in Unix, C++, Perl, DHTML and more. Lissome, long-haired, and bra must match panties at all times. Jewel-toned clothing preferred. Implanted microchips a plus. Come let your airport meet my wifi, as I bathe you in rosewater…my Padma. [link]
Open-minded parents seek adventurous girl for rocket-scientist son. Must have beauty and wiles of Sita to draw son away from this blogging plogging nonsense. Must be outdoorsy since he likes to hanky panky on campsites, hiking trails, zero-G flight simulators, the moon. Must also be ready for a three-way with Paul Krugman should opportunity arise. [link]

Meanwhile, over in the Ewe Kay, Jai was making me (and countless others) swoon…as if that’s novel:

Roguish-but-charming professional North Indian guy seeks equally saucy girl with a good heart for lots of naughty, borderline-illegal fun and potential marriage. Romantic fool at heart, much more sidha than he pretends to be. Woman must be smart, sexy, kind, and look great from all angles in low-rise skinny-fit jeans. No gold-diggers, social-climbers, or neurotics. [link]

Finally, Desi Dude in Austin got a wee bit of snark in at the end of his 55; I sincerely hope he ends up with someone like me, just to make things interesting. 😉

Well educated Indian Boy, likes to read and cook, needs a bad Indian Girl with a taste for bad movies and good wine. Must be willing to put up with disorder and the occasional wild partying. Also, must be able to act coy before in-laws and ridiculously large extended family. Must like MIA only in moderation. [link]

This week? Since I’m an established quirkyalone, I propose a black take on cupid, a scathing flash of fiction about the needless fetishization of couple hood, a snide dissection of the pink holiday which rapidly approaches. Of course you are welcome to write about anything your precious, candy-filled dil desires; kindly leave it or a link to it in the comments below. We’ll heart the results, promise. Continue reading