Admin Note: We’re shifting bunkers (servers)

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sepia_bunker.jpg If there’s one thing we here at the Mutiny have learned from our peers, it’s how to roll in style. After all, what’s the point of being a super-secret group of revolutionaries, if you don’t take full advantage of the perks. So while our tendencies still most definitely gravitate towards Cristal and Beluga, the truth of the matter is that recent growth has left more than a little to be desired in our present diggs.

A stagnant mutiny is a dead mutiny, and so it is that we are moving on to a bigger, phatter and more secure crib… still, of course, somewhere deep in the heart of North Dakota. We’ve been busy packing, the monkeys are ready, and tonight, at the stroke of the midnight hour, when the world sleeps, Sepia… (eh, sorry.. got a little carried away there).

We will be transitioning to a new server tonight at midnight (Tuesday, 12:00AM EST) and depending on where on the internet you call home, the changes could take as long as 24 hours or more to take effect, but for the majority of you, things should be back to normal by the time you get to work on Tuesday morning. In the meantime, you will see a read-only version of the site with comments turned off.

Rest assured, the Mutiny will be back, stronger than ever… plus, we’ve just now learned that the North Dakota historical society has designated our current home a state monument which will be open to visitors beginning next month. Continue reading →

Cricket v. Soccer, Intellectuals, and the Male Physique

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Dhoni.jpg There was a funny but true quote from a woman interviewed for this article (thanks, Technophobicgeek) on World Cup mania in India:

A young woman sold on soccer pointed out: “I like soccer because the men playing the sport are strong, fit, aggressive and much better-looking. Cricketers on the other hand are softies in comparison, and it is quite incomprehensible how 10 people can just stand and watch while one bowls and the other bats,” she argued.

In her view, the only exception is Dhoni, who combines strength with sensitive looks and style, the ultimate Beckhamesque combination. She said Dhoni started off being a soccer player, in any case. (link)

My significant other, who is very knowledgeable on these matters, agrees on the question of the appeal of cricketers vs. soccer players. (The question of which sport is better may be a different matter, of course.) The article also mentions the predicted 150 million (cumulative) Indian viewers for the games, which will be broadcast in Hindi all over the country, bringing in scads of advertising revenue. And incidentally, the “Dhoni” the interviewee mentions is Mahindra Singh Dhoni, and he’s the most eligible batchelor in Jharkand, apparently (also, pictured right). A bit Beckhamesque, is he not?

There’s a similar comment (minus the cricket) in a Slate piece by Bryan Curtis where he explains why intellectual American men seem to be drawn to soccer. Part of it is that they’re (ok we’re) “internationalist” coffee-drinking, Richard Linklater-worshipping poseurs, of course. But maybe it also has to do with this:

In a weak moment, the soccer intellectual might even admit that the sport’s stars are aspirational male role models. Most soccer players are not human grotesqueries like NFL stars or attenuated beanpoles like NBA players. They’re possessed of attainable physiques, strong and compact—the kind that might impress intellectuals and the women who love them. (link)

Yes, I always prefer my sports to have aspirational role models — and maybe voiceless velar plosives as well. Continue reading →

Backstory: Don’t Mix Your Saffrons With Your Whites

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I realize that CSM staff photographer Andy Nelson was trying to make the outdoor laundries of New Delhi romantic and palatable to a highbrow, upper-crust Western audience. I do.

And when the Monitor hits the stands tomorrow, complete with the colorful photographic spread of hard-working countrymen like Harichand Kanojiya…

laundry.jpg

…I’m sure there’s part of me that will feel thrilled that these manual laborers who comprise such an essential vertebrae in India’s backbone got their due by way of a clever title and a thoughtful profile in a National Geographic kind of way.

But…

Continue reading →

The Mutiny Always Rings Twice

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And when, late on a weeknight, you are wakened by short, meaningful raps at the door and open it to find Anna in a hooded, velveteen robe, eyes dark and mysterious, blindfold in hand: you know your time has come and you follow without question.

She picks up your laptop and waits for you at the door, reminding you not to leave home without ample snark, a few good literary jabs and shimmery, sparkling eye makeup.

Your heart races. You swallow down parental warnings to avoid using fuck as a verb, drinking homemade punch out of crystal goblets handed to you by good-for-nothing “bois” and bringing sepia-colored Shame on the family.

You are sweaty-palmed and slightly nauseous over urban legends about hazing, mutinous readers and the potential for an unruly comment thread to turn into an impromptu session of Circle the Fat.

But mostly, you feel jittery and excited. Hoping against hope as she blindfolds you, that when the cool, silky fabric is ultimately removed you’ll find yourself at the intersection of Good Storytelling, Meaningful Prose and Cultural Context, but that until it is you have to go out on faith, friendship and sisterhood because you won’t know for sure till you get there what’s in store for you down the road ahead. Continue reading →

Guest Blogger: The Barmaid

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One of the things which fascinates me about this community of blogginess we inhabit is the randomness of connections and the chain of events which must transpire in order for someone to find blog X. Those of you who know me in real life know that this is a question I always pose, because before SM, I always wondered, “How on earth did you know I was alive?” The vast majority of the answers I’ve received boil down to three syllables: Manish Vij.

My FAVORITE new (to me) blog of the past year belongs to a fellow DCist and I would like to thank erstwhile SM regular and current legal eagle Maisnon for indirectly introducing me to one insightful and addictive personality: The Barmaid. I can’t imagine my life without one. 😉 She’s half-woman, half-amazing. Finding her exceptionally well-written blog resulted in one of the rarest activities I might choose to do: reading an entire archive. To get all power chord-y Aerosmith on your kundis, I didnÂ’t want to miss a thing. I think we can all agree that when you’ve forsaken all others and forgotten what it was that you were supposed to do because you are voraciously consuming someoneÂ’s back catalog, thatÂ’s a sign that youÂ’ve stumbled on to one hell of a blog.

Perhaps it would be easiest if I counted down the reasons why the most talented blogtender ever makes me reconsider my addiction to NYC (Yes. She single-handedly puts all the hotness in swamp city. And if you donÂ’t know, now you know):

10) She was a Theta, so she gets this DG‘s reliance on Greek speak (I almost rushed that house, so good taste on her). SheÂ’s like the grand-little I forever wanted and never had.

9) She, too, adores Amma. Respect her authority as she taxes the Dahi Vada before leaving for the Mysore Masala Dosa. Then fall a little bit in lurve as she matches you, cup for cup of Madras Coffee, at a Saturday morning brunch which is the closest IÂ’ve ever come to those unrealistic-to-me morning-ish meals which went down on every ep of Sex and The City.

8) She appreciates my powerful love for the wackiest news show on television: World News Now. Hail its wonderful weirdness with me even if its most recent source of brownitude is no longer holding court.

7) Malayalees do it better. 😉

6) Her drink specials are so tasty, intoxication occurs quickly and inevitably. YetÂ…thereÂ’s never a hangover.

5) If you end up at Sephora with her, she will exhibit no hesitation or self-consciousness when it comes to testing out vivid metallic Chanel lipsticks or four varieties of bronzer/glitter. She will also loyally assist you with shooting stink-eye at those useless @$$h073$ at MAC. Hisssss.

4) She is wise enough to use TYPEPAD, like someone else we know. 😉

3) Her inclusion of her soon-to-be-as-legendary-as-Yo-Dad parents, “Lester” and “Sally” in her blogging life is inspiring, heartwarming and fodder for some of the most exquisitely priceless, “OMG, me too!” or “Omg, I wish.”-moments I’ve had this year.

2) Remember that personal bravery she displayed at Sephora? SheÂ’s just like that online, dissecting heartbreak, regret and lessons learned with a selfless candor which makes you want to hug her and thank her. Repeatedly.

1) She is hysterical. Witty. Rare. Consistently awesome. In short: perfection.

Kindly welcome the latest knockout to grace our bunker as a cherished guest: The Barmaid. If you are mean to her, I will cut you, like any good Akka/Chechi would. I canÂ’t for the life of me see why I would need to do that, though. I predict youÂ’ll end up just as enchanted as the rest of us.

Continue reading →

Un-covering Haditha

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As more information comes to light about the possible atrocities committed by American soldiers in the Iraqi town of Haditha, I thought I would mention that one of the main journalists that helped bring the story to light is Aparisim Ghosh, chief international correspondent for Time magazine. It was back in March of this year that whispers first began to emerge about what may have happened in Haditha:

Since the revelation this [March 2006] week that U.S. Marines may have been responsible for the death of 15 civilians in the western Iraq town of Haditha, first reported by TIME, there has been a major outcry but little action. But now that the Haditha tragedy is out in the open, the U.S. military must act quickly and decisively to reassure Iraqis that the killing of innocents by American arms will not be lost in the fog of war.

In an environment where insurgents and terrorists routinely massacre civilians without remorse or restitution, it is vital that Iraqis know the U.S. military holds itself to a higher standard — that when American soldiers kill (by accident or intention) non-combatants, the military investigates the matter rigorously and punishes anybody guilty of wrongdoing. This is what separates the good guys from the bad guys…

It will not be easy to persuade Iraqis that a cover-up is not already under way. After all, the Marines’ first report of the incident claimed that the civilians had been killed by a roadside bomb, and not by the Marines themselves. Nor does it help that the military waited months before launching a serious investigation. But every effort must be made to undo that damage and allay suspicions. [Link]

In the last couple of weeks the words in the article above by Ghosh have been viewed as almost prophetic. He continues to produce outstanding articles from the war zone, such as this insightful one titled Inside the Mind of an Iraqi Suicide Bomber:

One day soon, this somber young man plans to offer up a final prayer and then blow himself up along with as many U.S. or Iraqi soldiers as he can reach. Marwan Abu Ubeida says he has been training for months to carry out a suicide mission. He doesn’t know when or where he will be ordered to climb into a bomb-laden vehicle or strap on an explosives-filled vest but says he is eager for the moment to come. While he waits, he spends much of his time rehearsing that last prayer. “First I will ask Allah to bless my mission with a high rate of casualties among the Americans,” he says, speaking softly in a matter-of-fact monotone, as if dictating a shopping list. [Link]
Continue reading →

DC Restaurant Review: Tandoori Nights

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Tandoori Nights.JPG

Oy, I almost don’t want to write this– but I took so many pages of notes during my disastrous dinner at Tandoori Nights in Clarendon, that all that information deserves to be used. I know you’ll appreciate reading some of it, since our threads on dining, fine or otherwise are consistently popular. So let’s get this over with.

I’ve recently become an addict of EMS. I know, I’m the only one who has ever entered the store in stiletto heels, but what can I say? You can only spend so much time underground with Abhi before he begins to influence you. While I work up my nerve to (gulp) actually go camping for the first time, I’m going to keep frequenting EMS; for some reason, it makes urban-me want to be outside. Powerfully magical, I know. So between my forays to gear mecca and the container store (and yet– my apartment is still disorganized), I noticed that a potentially brown restaurant had opened on the second floor of the ritzy Market Common at Clarendon, just outside of D.C.

Yesterday, I decided to give it a shot, even though I was a little put off by the restaurant’s font. Yup, I’m that kind of dork. Why wouldn’t I be? If words are my life, the shapes of the letters which create them matter, too. I looked down at my outfit, which I had worn earlier to the amazing lecture Sajit blogged about at the Smithsonian. It was casual, but to me, so was the font. So imagine my shock when I tentatively walked through the front doors and saw a lounge sleek enough to impress, a distinguished man in a well-cut suit who looked like the manager and a mural of brown women on the ceiling which made me want to faint because I spent so much time craning my neck back to memorize it. “WOW,” I thought to myself, “it’s GORGEOUS.”

I simultaneously regretted my clothes while planning a meetup or party that just had to take place in this space. Much like it jinxes the shit out of my crushes on boys to imagine my first name with their surname, all of my moony swooning, my counting parties before they were hatched…well, it virtually guaranteed doom. 🙁

My friend and I were seated in a beautiful, semi-private room and were asked if we wanted still or sparkling. I opted for the first and the busboy blurted out, “it’s bottled”. Um, okay. I wasn’t sure what to do with that so I asked him what brand. He didnÂ’t know. When he came back, he said “Voss” and my pretentious-meter went off so hard it broke. How very glam. And everything on the menu was spelled properly! Well played. Continue reading →

The Bilderberg Group is even more secretive than our blog

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The secret organization of illuminati known as the Priory of Sion (that you read about in The Da Vinci Code) is a hoax, of course. What isn’t a hoax however, is the shadowy and ultra-powerful Bilderberg Group who are meeting in Ottawa, Canada this weekend:

It’s like Woodstock for conspiracy theorists.

A serene suburban setting has been transformed into a four-day festival of black suits, black limousines, burly security guards — and suspicions of world domination…

It’s not the Freemasons.

Forget those fabled U.S. military men who tucked away UFOs in the Arizona desert.

These guys, you’ve probably never even heard of, and if you believe the camera-toting followers who attend all their meetings, they control the world.

They’re called the Bilderberg group.

They include European royalty, national leaders, political power-brokers, and heads of the world’s biggest companies. [Link]

If you happened to be at the airport in Ottawa yesterday you may have noticed a bunch of limo drivers holding up a single letter. That would have been a sign that a Bilderberg attendee was near at hand:

Greeted at the airport by limousine drivers holding single-letter “B” signs, global luminaries such as Henry Kissinger, David Rockefeller and Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands began arriving in Ottawa Thursday for the annual gathering of the ultra-secretive Bilderberg Group. [Link]

Continue reading →

An Inconvenient Triumph (Climate Change in the Subcontinent)

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Abhi mentioned the documentary An Inconvenient Truth earlier this week. I just saw it, and I think it’s beautifully done as well — I would strongly recommend it. Even if you don’t think much of Al Gore as a politician, the science is convincing and all the pictures of vanishing glaciers and dried-up inland lakes (Lake Chad!; the Aral Sea!) are terrifying.

In the film, Gore refers several times to the potential catastrophic consequences of Global Warming in the Indian subcontinent. It’s somewhat ironic, because countries on the Indian subcontinent are far smaller contributors of greenhouse gases than the developed countries (India’s per capita emissions are one sixth the world average) but you can be sure that the subcontinent will feel its effects. As I understand it, there are two major consequences of global warming for the Indian subcontinent that are essentially guarantees, and a third which seems to me to be a maybe: Continue reading →

55Friday: “World In Motion” Edition

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Oh Laila.jpgEvery four years, the entire world pauses to watch very hot athletes play a game I find irresistible. We could get all armchair (or, more likely, office chair) psychologist on my kundi and consider that Soccer was the only sport my august father ever played, but it’s also the only sport I ever played.

One glorious summer a few years ago, I decided to sack up and work through all the issues I still had with forever being picked last to do anything in elementary school P.E. I played my heart out four nights a week and I had bruises the size of watermelons on my legs (playing indoors can be brutal) and a permanent ankle injury to show for it. Despite being black, blue and purple in addition to my usual brown, I’ve never been prouder of myself or my resolve to do the impossible: front like I’m actually coordinated.

This Friday, if you are so inclined, write exactly 55 words about: FIFA, footie, Footballers’ Wives (whose most memorable star from this past season was half-desi hotness Laila Rouass, pictured left), soccer camp, Adidas gear…whatever floats your World Cup boat. As always, kindly leave your flash fiction in the comments below or provide a link to where we can find some. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to attend to my mobile; Ennis keeps blowing up my spot with text messages which say “Goooooooooooooaaaaaaaal!” 😀

P.S. If you haven’t been watching Footballers’ Wives on BBC America, you’re so missing out. Laila Rouass plays “Amber”, erstwhile Bollywood star and sort-of-estranged wife of a Beckham-ish “Conrad Gates”. I won’t spoil the rest for you since they recently commenced re-running the entire season on Sunday nights at 10pm and 1am (at least that’s how Comcast does it here in D.C…YMMV, obviously). Watch. You won’t be disappointed. 😉 Continue reading →