King Kaun?

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Roll Curtis Mayfield, Little Richard and Amrish Puri’s accessories in ‘Temple of Doom’ together and you end up one of NXNE ’06’s most charismatic personas. From all reports, King Khan, along with his sensational Shrines, made a serious impression on Toronto’s indie-philes last weekend. Irrelevant was the fact that all three of their shows were held in the SKETCHIEST corner of my fair city. One messiah, eight musicians, and a go-go dancer with only one vision: To rock your soul!

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King Khan’s unusual backstory begins in Quebec:

King Khan is born in Montreal in 1977, being the son of immigrants from India. The Khan siblings (his majesty, Lil’ Brother Gumbo and Sister Cocobutter) inherit far more than mere musical talent: “My great grandfather was the Johnny Thunders of the sitar. He played but never recorded anything and became a serious opium addict. My father tried to play sitar but chose the fast life over that and wound up down and out and addicted to cocaine. My mother can play harp like Bob Dylan.” [Link]

After being kicked out of the household at 17 by his father, Khan ends up being taken in by the Mohawk Indians on the Kahnawake Mohawk Reservation (near Montreal):

I learnt lots about being a punk from my Indian friends. We used to get drunk, smash cars, go hunting for white women. The Indians taught me about survival, being a real warrior, even it if involved drinking Budweiser, smoking Marlboro Reds and getting really high. They showed me the truth and then I met a big bad wold who told me that rockin’ and rollin’ is all that I can do. I saw the light. Even learned how to chew Red Man Tobacco, America’s Best Chew. The Mohawk Indians put the savage back into my soul, even gave me a home, for that I will always be grateful. [Link]

He had me at “Red Man Tobacco”. Continue reading →

The Insider’s Maharaja

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Maybe it’s just me but when you travel to foreign locales isn’t there some kind of charm to having the “commoner” experience? Of going somewhere and moving (as my father says) “with the people”?

The Wall Street Journal called it “VIP Travel on the Cheap” but I think a better name might be (with all due respect to the anonymous maharaja in question) “People Who Want To Visit Foreign Countries Without Having to Interact with Anyone Who Actually Lives There”.

One of the hottest concepts in travel right now is the “insider” experience, where travelers are promised a chance to hobnob with celebrities, go behind the scenes where other tourists are barred and be treated like visiting dignitaries.

Companies are selling tours of Russian President Vladimir Putin’s entertaining room, visits with Olympic athletes and drinks with an Indian maharaja — complete with an elephant parade.

Now, I’m not saying you have to go to India and tan in the Dharavi slum or drive an auto rickshaw around Queen’s Necklace during rush hour or do a load of whites under the oppressive third world sun. But, if you’re going to sit in a plane and make the commitment and fly all the way around the world to India, shouldn’t you actually try to see some of it? Continue reading →

The World Cup: First Week Impressions

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brazilian.jpgThe people have spoken! And they want more Brazilian hotties World Cup coverage. Armed with this unambiguous mandate, I offer you the Sepia Mutiny update on the World Cup, now that one-third of the first round is over and we have seen every team in action at least once.

First, the Desi Angle (TM): your Great Brown Hope, the Mauritian-Indian French midfielder Vikash Dhorasoo, came on for the final ten minutes of an insipid and stultifying France-Switzerland match that produced the two teams’ third draw in their last three confrontations. Brought on to give France some much-needed energy, Dhorasoo did well in the short time he had, and nearly scored with a searing shot from range that just missed the far post. Watching amid a thin, pessimistic French crowd on the otherwise lovely rear patio of Brooklyn restaurant Jolie, Mr Kobayashi and I nearly choked on our merguez sandwiches as we watched the potential First Desi Goal in World Cup History skim barely wide. It was not to be, but with the French first-stringers not showing much verve, the Hope may well see more playing time in the next two matches against South Korea and Togo.

Via that brother at Ultrabrown, here is a YouTube video of Dhorasoo’s entrance and shot. I couldn’t find a still photo — if anyone out there has found one, holla at me.

And that concludes the Desi Angle (TM). Now for the true heads, here’s an appreciation of the tournament so far, with a Daljit Dhaliwal tie-in for those who read all the way to the end. Continue reading →

Humpty Dumpty is an Evil Imperialist

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humpty dumpty.jpg No, not Dubya — actually the real Humpty Dumpty, who has been banned from government schools in the state of Madhya Pradesh. According to the BBC:

The Madhya Pradesh government has banned the teaching of English nursery rhymes in primary schools to “reduce Western influence” on children.

Indian rhymes will now replace their popular English counterparts.

“There is no need for English rhymes when there are Indian rhymes to infuse patriotism in children,” says state education minister Narrotam Mishra.

He has asked government primary schools from now on to teach Indian rhymes and tales from the life of Ahilya Bai, the legendary ruler credited with building a number of leading temples in India. (link)

Because obviously, Humpty Dumpty is the Trojan Horse of cultural imperialism. Just think of the infamous lines: “All the king’s horses/ and all the king’s men/ couldn’t put Humpty together again.” They seem to suggest the monarchy is incompetent — making the seemingly innocent nursery rhyme into subversive Leftist agit-prop that criticizes the government.

Incidentally, I wonder why Education Minister Narrotam Mishra didn’t cite the fact that Mr. Dumpty is an egg in his decision to ban the him from schools in MP. Isn’t an egg a feminine entity, and isn’t Humpty Dumpty therefore a female in drag — and consequently in probable violation of sections 294 and 377 of the Indian Penal Code?

(Just kidding, yaar. Still, anyone interested in translating ‘Humpty Dumpty’ into Hindi or other South Asian languages for us? Or even in English: can we desi-fy him so perhaps Mr. Mishra might consider reinstating him? If we get some good ones, I will email them to the MP government. (Hint: Start with “Hum pati / dum pati”) Continue reading →

Suicide in Religion

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Slate.com has a great Explainer series that I have referenced in several previous posts. Readers can write in with both serious and trivial questions alike, and Slate will find the best answer for them. A recent query inquired about what seems like a question that everyone should know a good answer to: Are Muslims Allowed To Kill Themselves?

The two Saudi detainees who reportedly hanged themselves at Guantanamo Bay must have been the victims of foul play, their relatives said on Monday. Since the men were strict Muslims, the families reasoned, they would never have taken their own lives. “It’s impossible for Yasser to commit suicide,” said the brother of one of the inmates. Are Muslims allowed to kill themselves?

No. There’s a clear prohibition on suicide in the collected sayings of the Prophet, known as the hadith. In particular, anyone who kills himself must spend an eternity repeating the act in the afterlife: “He who commits suicide by throttling shall keep on throttling himself in the Hell Fire (forever) and he who commits suicide by stabbing himself shall keep on stabbing himself in the Hell Fire.”

You won’t find as clear a statement in the Quran. This passage provides the closest thing to a ban: “Do not consume your wealth in the wrong way–rather through trade mutually agreed to, and do not kill yourselves.” But the word for “yourselves” could just as well be translated as “each other”–which would make this a ban on homicide, not suicide. [Link]

I love taking a look at the linguistics of religion. It seems almost amusing (if not for the great consequences) how a mistranslation or misinterpretation of a word (ancient vs. modern) can propogate down through all of history. Remember my earlier quoted reference pertaining to the role of the sacred cow in Hinduism?

The scriptural reason for this obsession with cows and their protection is even stranger. Vedic Sanskrit is not the classical Sanskrit that exists today. It is an older, more difficult form of the language and one of the words for “light” that is used there is “Go.” Now Go primarily meant “light,” but it also meant “cows.” In classical Sanskrit, the word means only the bovine friend. Thus, on the basis of a forgotten meaning of a word, Indian culture has wrapped itself round the protection of the cow and rendered it a sacred taboo. “Protector of the Go,” in the Vedas meant the keeper of the light–not a cowherd! And all the admonitions about protecting the Go mean something else altogether, and makes a great deal more sense, too. However, it was too late, and the word came to mean, with all its nuances, cow protection and cow reverence! A change in language renders a single word archaic, but the impact on a society is amazing. [Link]

Continue reading →

Remember the Alamo!

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Alamo Rent A Car, one of the largest rental car agencies in the United States, recently got smacked down for blatant anti-Muslim discrimination [via DNSI]. In essence, Alamo tried to claim that it was OK to discriminate on the basis of religion to pander to the anti-Muslim bigotry of post 9-11 customers. This case was so clear cut an example of discrimination that the court didn’t even put the case to the jury.

Alamo meets its waterloo pandering to predjudice

Bilan Nur was hired by Alamo in 1999. With Alamo’s permission, she wore a head scarf during Ramadan of 1999 and 2000. However, after September 11th, Alamo said that wearing a scarf was against their dress code. Nur even offered to wear an Alamo scarf, but that that compromise was refused. In the end, she was fired.

According to the EEOC, here’s how the law works:

… the law allows employers to avoid accommodating [religious] requests if they can show undue hardship. And that has been defined in law to include financial considerations other than insignificant amounts. But … a company that argues it will lose customers because of its workers’ religious garb will lose in court — even if it could conceivably show some monetary harm ….the exception in the law does not apply to the discriminatory preferences of customers. [Link]

In this case:

the company’s regional manager admitted under questioning that the only hardship Alamo might suffer is the image that the firm has with customers. [Link]

And therefore,

The judge rejected a series of arguments by the company, including its contention that allowing her to wear the scarf — a clear sign of her religion in the wake of the 9/11 terrorist attacks — would cause the firm undue hardship. [Link]

What appals me about this case is that

Alamo disciplined, suspended and terminated her employment following consultation with regional level human resources officials and in-house counsel. [Link]

This was not some irrational gut decision by a low level manager acting alone. This was a corporate decision – they seem to have felt a need to pander and furthermore, they seem to have believed that the courts would back their bigotry up. I’m glad to see that they were wrong, at least on the second point.

Continue reading →

The Curves of Cheating (Or Can A WonderBra Help You Pass A Maths Test?)

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Ladies: Sure our bras can push-in, push-up and push-out…create curves and decolletage where there might not have been otherwise…support us steadfastly through athletic events, bad days at work and first dates alike…and, by sheer ergonomic design, make us sinfully sexy seductresses in the crucial moments when it matters most but, as ever-prepared, forward-thinking members of the Mutiny, let’s get down to brass tacks — what can it really do to help advance our studies?

Just ask Ashish, a telecommunications graduate from India’s Pune University. He was caught cheating on his final-year exam – he diagrammed an elaborate electronic circuit on the underside of his calculator – and kicked out. But he returned and passed the next term, and freely admits to cheating on most tests at university.

“Cheating sounds too grave,” he says, insisting that his family name not be printed. “Everyone does it.” He has written formulas on his ruler and smuggled notes up his sleeves and inside his shoes. Women have it easier, he claims, as modesty affords protection. “If I were a woman, I’d try smuggling them in my bra,” he says.

LINK

I find this great for several reasons. Continue reading →

Fear of a brown planet, 21 Billion strong

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A month ago the Washington Post reported that:

Nearly half of the nation’s children under 5 are racial or ethnic minorities, and the percentage is increasing mainly because the Hispanic population is growing so rapidly [Link]

Gandhi was once asked what he thought about Western civilization. “I think,” he replied, “it would be a very good idea.”

This news sent the right-wingnuts into conniptions [Thanks Saheli]. The next day, John Gibson, the host of Fox News’ “The Big Story” told his (largely white) viewers to:

“Do your duty. Make more babies… You know what that means? Twenty-five years and the majority of the population is Hispanic.” [Link] [Video clip].

He later stuffed his foot further into his mouth by “explaining” that he was not bigotted against Hispanics, but instead, against Muslims (and all non-Christians by implication):

“My concern was simply that I didn’t want America to become Europe, where the birth rate is so low the continent is fast being populated by immigrants, mainly from Muslim countries, whose birth rate is very high … I said … it was also a good idea if people other than Hispanics also got busy and have more babies. Those people would include both blacks and whites. I suppose Asians, too… 50 years from now, Europe will be brown and Muslim, and America will be brown and Christian. I am fine with that, America, and I’ve said so many times. I’d rather live with the Christians here than live … under Sharia law in Europe” [Link]

Notice his ambivalence about Asians, even though he’s probably thinking of the yellow kind, many of whom are Christian. What might he feel about the brown kind, many of whom are neither Christian nor Muslim? And will he have a heart attack if he sees the latest brilliant inaccuracy from the TOI which states that:

The Indian diaspora is estimated at 20 billion. [Link]

As Manish points out, “the earth’s population is around 6.5 billion today,” which means the desi diaspora is over 300% of the world’s population. Getting scared yet, Mr. Gibson?

The moral of the story? Get your news from an accurate source and you’ll sleep at night

Continue reading →

The Mutiny Rolls On

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…and we’re back! You’re reading this now and so you’ve made it over to our new home.

Welcome to the new and improved Mutiny. If everything looks exactly as it did before, then we’ve done our jobs well.

While the other Mutineers are busy fighting over bathrooms and the most luxuriously appointed living quarters, Kunjan and I will be napping blissfully in our king-size master suites (having arrived first, we naturally staked out the prime real estate in advance).

Thanks for your patience during this transition and please let us know if you notice anything strange. Continue reading →

Apu-calypse Now!

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It’s probably not a surprise that I’m a Simpsons fanatic, and have been since the first days (we collected Matt Groening cartoons in junior high) but it was the evolution of the character of Apu that really clinched it for me.

Now, the first reaction upon encountering or hearing about Apu Nahasapeemapetalan is invariably a groan–yet another stereotypical 7-11 manager/operator–whether when he debuted, or today. But Apu evolved, as most Simpsons’ characters, into someone complex, worthy of both ridicule and empathy. He has a PhD, entered into an arranged marriage (but not before a stint as Springfield’s most happening bachelor, Trans Am and all) with the witty Manjula, sired octoplets, revealed his veganism and his illegal immigrant status, which he fixed by getting that long-awaited H-1 Visa. His worst sins are quirky saying in accented English, his two instances of infidelity to his wife and a tendency to overcharge (nothing compared to miser Mr.Burns or desperate Moe). Despite repeated attempts to run away from the overwhelming demands of his family of octoplets, Apu remains an excellent vehicle for Simpsons writers to explore desi issues. I highly recommend Wikipedia’s detailed biography of Apu here.

But Apu was absent in the most recent Simpsons exploration of desi culture, when Homer gets outsourced to India. Desi culture has become too big even for Apu. Continue reading →