55Friday: The “Forbidden Fruit” Edition

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mendhi and silk and bracelets, oh my.JPG I think this is the second time I’ve had to reach beyond my treasured, “120 Minutes”-era musical fetish to find a tune which fits a Flash Fiction Friday. I blame Siddhartha, for the Parisian prose in his post, since it reopened that festering debate about how cringe-inducing cliches which brown writers seem to sweat (henna, silk, spices, MANGOES) make us all want to vomit…curry. Or something. I’m not too broken up about this, though; if I had to use something other than excellent alternative music for our theme song, ain’t no shame in my Nina Simone-soundtracked game.

It’s the second time for something else, as well. Today, I invite you to create 55-word stories which sound like they were taken from “The Arranged Marriage of Crazy Curry-lovers in Marin” or whatever disposable lit you care to mock mercilessly. The December 16th, 2005 “Why Can’t I Be You?”-edition of 55Friday nominally used a similar theme, though what I really asked for then was for you to borrow the voice of someone famous for us to later guess…Sajit made a special request for some tamarind-flavored 55age and you came through like champions. My favorite two from that edition are below.

The Ill Hindu himself contributed this miniature masterpiece, before he was a Mutineer:

His tigress.
Desire crowded his mind like pilgrims at Benares. Her silken lips, cinnamon eyes, lashes like Assam tea. Her breasts, twin Taj Mahals at sunset.
How exquisitely she played his shehnai. The taste of her mango lassi.
A monsoon of sadness flooded him.
“ItÂ’s been fun,” sheÂ’d said. “But IÂ’m having an arranged marriage.”

GENIUS. After that, Badmash dropped the J-bomb (sorry, Saheli):

The elephant in the newsroom was her use of cheap metaphors in foreign assignment pieces from exotic locations. The juggernaut of letters to the editor from offended Sepia readers concerned him enough to call her in for a meeting. How would he ask her to tone down the spice without invoking the wrath of Kali

Weren’t those fab? I expect no less from all you ardent members of the Anti-Mango Brigade. I know that Red Snapper may not forgive me for exhorting you to do this, but cliche away! Continue reading →

Who Is Still In Dallas?

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Jennifer Lopez.JPG Abhi left a fluffy tip on our news tab, which indicated that the most famous rondure in Hollywood will no longer grace Gurinder Chadha’s (struggling?) remake of Dallas. Like I could let THAT go without a post:

Jennifer Lopez has dropped out of the big screen remake of the hit 1970s TV series ‘Dallas’.
The ‘Wedding Planner’ star was set to act opposite John Travolta in the movie to be directed by ‘Bend it like Beckham’ director Gurinder Chaddha.
Lopez had been cast for the role of Sue Ellen – the alcoholic wife of Travolta’s character JR Ewing.

I’m not sure how I feel about this. On one hand, my parents loved to reminisce about how I’ve adored Dallas since I was a tot. According to them, and usually while at parties where the possibility for my humiliation is quite high, I used to hum the theme song to the ultimate primetime drama while standing in my crib, waiting for a parent to wake up. So I obviously dig the show sum’n fierce and only want the best for it. On the other hand, I must confess that to my undying shock, I have mildly enjoyed every movie I’ve seen which starred Jeniffer Lopez (four come immediately to mind: out, planner, maid, monster…). I know. I am wincing in anticipation of your derision.

My point is, I actually could see her as Sue Ellen Ewing. I wonder why she left? Is there trouble in Chadha-ville?

Lopez is not the only one to pull out of the movie, for ‘Legally BlondeÂ’ director Robert Luketic quit the project earlier this year citing “creative differences”.

Innnnnteresting. Incidentally, someone infamous ALSO opted out of this flick, which might just be the BiLB’s waterloo– I’ll give you a hint as to whom: “raccoon”

Paris Hilton has declined the offer to enact the character of Lucy Ewing in the upcoming Dallas movie, as she considers herself a novice in the field of acting…
“But the truth is the role is too demanding for me. I told them I need to make a few more smaller movies first, then take it from there,” she added.

Ugh. Guess what I have in common with the nocturnal omnivore?

“I was a huge fan of the show and never missed it when I was a kid – more for the hair and fashions than the storylines,” Contactmusic quoted the hotel heiress, as saying.

In other news, I am going to require confession for finding a certain part of the following paragraph so amusing:

Hilton launched her career in Hollywood with ‘House of Wax,’ but despite being lucky enough to bag such a prestigious role with only one hit in her kitty, the budding actress took no time in turning down the chance, as she wants to cut her teeth in smaller films before she hits the blockbusters.

Perhaps the Gurinder should stick to films where ve brown vomen get rescued by the not-brown man? Continue reading →

Judge finds for prosecution in Operation Meth Merchant

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The prosecution has just scored a major victory in Operation Meth Merchant (previous SM post here):

U.S. District Judge Harold Murphy refused Wednesday to toss out cases against dozens of South Asian merchants accused in the methamphetamine sting, rejecting the American Civil Liberties Union’s argument that police intentionally targeted South Asian merchants while ignoring white-owned stores.

As a reminder, here are the key objections the ACLU raised about this operation:

* Operation Meth Merchant resulted in the arrest of 49 people, 44 of whom are South Asian, and 33 of whom have the last name Patel.

* Operation Meth Merchant targeted 24 stores for investigation, 23 of which are owned by South Asians. This, despite the fact that approximately 80 percent of area stores are owned by whites or other ethnic groups, according to the ACLUÂ’s investigation.

* The officials directing Operation Meth Merchant had evidence that at least 16 white-owned stores in the area sold products used to manufacture methamphetamine, and yet failed to investigate any of them. These stores include Avaco, Bell’s Smokeshop, Bi-Lo, Breezy Top, Citgo Quikmart, Dollar General, Family Dollar, Food Lion, Fred’s, Home Depot, Jerrell’s Food Mart, Lowe’s, Sam’s Club, and Wal-mart.

* The officials directing Operation Meth Merchant have failed to disclose the existence of any evidence against the vast majority of the 23 South-Asian-owned stores prior to targeting them for investigation.

The ACLU’s summary sheet is here. The motion for dismissal with details of the argument is here.

The judge saw it differently:

His 38-page ruling noted that the defense lacks even basic evidence showing discrimination, citing a magistrate judge’s earlier order that said allowing the group a chance to dig through more evidence would be authorizing a “fishing expedition.”

… And he echoed a previous ruling that “simply pointing out that most of the individual defendants are of Indian national origin is insufficient.”

The ruling is here (August 3, second item). The crux seems to be that according to the judge, the defense presented no evidence that the non-Indian-run stores above sold the items in question (e.g. cold medicine containing pseudoephedrine) in the specific knowledge that buyers intended to use them to make meth. In the sting on Indian-run stores, the buyers made statements about “cooking” that referred to meth. The defense argues that this does not mean the sellers understood the reference. In any case, since there was no sting on the non-Indian-run stores, how would one get the evidence either way? To me this still looks like a clear case of selective prosecution on an ethnic basis, but perhaps legal minds can pore over the documents and give us their more considered views. Continue reading →

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Khushwant Singh’s Journalism: The Illustrated Weekly of India

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Khushwant Singh was someone I naturally gravitated towards as a young literature scholar, as he was one of the very few modern, secular Sikh writers with an international profile. (Now we have Brit-Asians like Nirpal Dhaliwal — though judging from this, I’m not really sure that represents progress.) khushwant singh editors page small.jpg But while I did read everything I could find by Khushwant Singh early in graduate school, I ended up not writing about him, barring one seminar paper that my professor at the time didn’t particularly like.

The truth is, from a literary perspective Khushwant Singh’s novels really aren’t that great. They aren’t as adventurous as G.V. Desani’s All About H. Hatterr, and not quite as carefully controlled as the novels written by his contemporaries in the 1950s — i.e., R.K. Narayan. Train to Pakistan (1956) sold very well in the west, and was in print for years and years. It isn’t bad — it’s actually a well-plotted, suspenseful partition novel — but it’s just somewhat unremarkable. I Shall Not Hear the Nightingale and Delhi, by contrast, aren’t very readable at all.

After the 1950s, Khushwant Singh focused less on creative writing and more on journalism, which is where, I think, he’s made his greatest contribution. Between 1969 and 1978 he was the head editor of The Illustrated Weekly of India, an ancient institution that lasted for more than 100 years, and was, until the 1980s, the biggest English-language news-magazine in India (perhaps in all of Asia). Under the British, it was effectively a colonial society magazine, and it didn’t change much under its first two Indian editors. Khushwant Singh was the third Indian editor, and he turned the ethos of the magazine on its head. Continue reading →

The Paris Principle

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I grew up in Paris. Many years later, this experience continues to earn me oohs and ahs: It must have been so… exotic! Cool! Parisian! I never know what to say in response. I mean, all I did was grow up. I rode the Metro and went to the movies a lot. I had long school days and lots of homework. After high school I came to the US, and for better or for worse have stayed here ever since.

It seems that by leaving so soon I missed all the fun:

IN “Weekend in Paris” Molly Clearwater, a 21-year-old British secretary with long blond hair and gorgeous breasts, impulsively sheds her dull life in London and heads to Paris, where she finds “a dizzying carousel ride of passion, excitement and self-discovery.”

In “Paris Hangover” Lauren Klein, a 34-year-old New Yorker with long blond hair and gorgeous breasts, abandons her glamorous job as a fashion consultant, gives up her TriBeCa triplex and plunges “into the mysterious world of Gallic men.”

And in “Salaam, Paris,” a Bollywood version of the story, Tayana Shah, a sheltered 19-year-old Indian Muslim with long legs and gorgeous breasts, arrives in Paris to meet the man to whom she is betrothed, becomes a supermodel and finds true love.

Since all these stories are clearly based on common real-life experiences, I am left to conclude that had I stayed in Paris, I too could have become a mysterious Gallic man, my life’s work devoted to the emotional liberation of perfect-chested beauties from multiple continents. I suppose it would have made a worthy career, but hey, so is blogging. Life is about choices.

salaamparis.jpgStill, I wanted to learn more about Miss Shah. Who is the literary mastermind who brought this creature to life? Why, it’s old friend Kavita Daswani, whose prior oeuvre includes The Village Bride of Beverly Hills and For Matrimonial Purposes, of which one SM regular’s concise review follows:

I’ve read For Matrimonial Purposes. (don’t ask)…vomit!

Now I don’t mind a little chick-lit. I unabashedly enjoyed the original Bridget Jones. Salaam, Paris intrigues me, if only to see the treatment of the city of my youth, even if it bears as much relation to the actual Paris as my current ghetto surroundings do to Carrie and Miranda’s New York City.

Desi reviewer Reeta Sinha gives Salaam, Paris the business, however:

Kavita Daswani seems to know a bit about stereotypes. Her first book, For Matrimonial Purposes, was full of them and things havenÂ’t changed much with this, her third and most recent work. If anything, the storyline provides room to expand, adding stereotypes about Muslim women to the usual desi chick-lit mix of arranged marriages, overbearing parents and the promise of glitz, glamour and happiness as soon as you leave India. …

ItÂ’s hard being a virgin, teetotaler supermodel, flitting between New York, the Caribbean and Paris, pretending to be hooked up with a rock star and being mauled by her handlers. ItÂ’s even worse when in between raking in fame and money, all you want to do is see your grandfather. … AllÂ’s well that ends well, of course. A fairy godmother in the form of an aunt helps Tanaya reconcile with her dying (of course), grandfather and Prince Charming does finally show up and they live happily ever after, in Paris (of course). …

Every imaginable cliché about Muslims and western perceptions has been thrown in, sadly, quite casually. So, you have references to RushdieÂ’s fatwa, four wives (Tanaya clarifies that sheÂ’s an Indian Muslim, not an Arab), she explains sheÂ’s not the “terrorist kind” when asked if sheÂ’s Muslim…

In conclusion, Sinha says:

But, then this is a beach-read. A fantasy. No bearing to the real world or real people whatsoever.

Or, as Entertainment Weekly puts it (via Amazon):

The culture-clash dilemmas ring heartbreakingly true.

Continue reading →

Can WE help stop the tiger slaughter?

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Five minutes ago I finished watching the film Two Brothers on cable. This movie which came out in 2004 is about two tiger cubs that become separated when they are young and then reunited in adulthood. It is only a fictional account but it totally makes you root for the tigers.

Set not so long ago in a distant land, the film follows the adventures of twin tiger cubs–one shy and gentle, the other bold and fierce–who are born among the temple ruins of an exotic jungle. However, on a fateful day, the brothers are separated by fate. The bold brother is sold off to a circus, where homesickness and living in a cage rob him of his spirit. Meanwhile, the shy cub becomes the beloved companion of the governor’s lonely young son, until an accident forces the family to give him away to a man who resolves to break his gentle nature and turn him into a fighter for sport. When they are fully grown the brothers find themselves reunited–but as forced enemies, pitted against each other. [Link]

At the end of the movie, just before the credits roll, the filmmakers relate the message that a century ago there were 100,000 of these beautiful cats in the wild and that today there are fewer than 5000 remaining. I turned off the television, turned on my computer, and within two minutes I randomly found this new article in Time Asia that describes how a bad situation is getting worse:

One of the difficulties with killing tigers is that they scream. Snaring them is simple enough, says Nitin Desai, a conservationist at the Wildlife Protection Society of India–you set a few iron traps near a game-park watering hole, then wait for a tiger to take a wrong step. But when the trap’s jagged metal teeth sink into its paw, the tiger howls–an alarm that can rouse a sleepy park ranger. So, a smart poacher will plunge a spear down the trapped animal’s throat and tear out its vocal chords; then, at his leisure, he can poison or electrocute the cat–or, if the buyer doesn’t mind a bullet hole in the pelt, simply shoot it. [Link]

I felt that coming across this article just minutes after seeing the movie was a sign, and so I thought that blogging it was the next logical step 🙂

Continue reading →

Designer Desi Baby Food

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It’s hot outside. So hot, these days, you want to curl up next to a fan with a cup full of ice water and allow your brain to regress to an almost womb-like state of slushee-induced, heat-transcending peace. The local papers here in Philly have had nothing very exciting to say about the curent heat wave, but the BBC has an amusing article on the rest of the British media’s penchant for “climate porn” (the BBC, of course, only participates in the phenomenon by discussing how everyone else participates in it). Still, “climate porn”: you might want to rethink how much time you spend at work checking the weather. 02baby.2.190.jpg

Speaking of returning to the womb, or something close to it, did you hear about the new, designer desi-themed baby food?

HappyBaby, which sells colorful cubes of frozen vegetable and fruit purées through FreshDirect and Gourmet Garage, flavors puréed peas with fresh mint, and potatoes and red lentils with coriander and cinnamon in their savory dahl, an Indian staple.

“This is how my parents fed me,” said Shazi Visram, co-founder of HappyBaby, which began on Mother’s Day and is expanding its line this month. “Why shouldn’t babies, of all people, get to eat delicious things?”(link)

No more vanilla, canned Gerber for today’s stylish babies. At HappyBabyFood, you get organic Baby Dhal. It comes in frozen, baby-sized cubes, and is sold at health food places in the New York City area. (Because it’s frozen, they can avoid having to put in preservatives.)

Not everyone is thrilled with the masalafication trend:

But some parents remain skeptical. “Moms ask me, ‘Can babies really have that?’ ” said Anni Daulter, co-founder of Bohemian Baby, which delivers meals like Vegetable Korma, made with coconut milk, for 12-month-olds, and purées of fruits like pomegranates and figs for infants. “And I say, of course! What do you think they feed babies in India?” (link)

Wait, you mean they feed babies in India something other than American baby food?

For more frozen organic baby food porn, click on this image, from New York Magazine. And a bit more on HappyBaby Food co-founder Shazi Visram, who has an MBA from Columbia and has worked in real estate in Brooklyn, can be found here. Continue reading →

Indian Soft Drinks Not So Soft

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There’s quite a controversy brewing (thanks, Scott Carney) over the pesticide content in Indian soft drinks. The vast majority of these are owned by the multinational Coke and Pepsi companies, and are of course manufactured and bottled locally in India using all local ingredients. cse bar graphs.jpg

The controversy actually began three years ago, with a report from the Centre for Science and the Environment that alleged high concentrations of pesticides in soda samples. The government at the time attacked the findings aggressively, and questioned the credibility of the scientists who conducted it. But as a result of the study, strict standards for pesticide content were put in place for the water that is used in soft drinks, though standards for the sugar and other ingredients that go into the soda still haven’t been finalized.

Now the CSE has done another study, and published the findings in its magazine, Down to Earth. The actual numbers, and notes on methodology, are available on this PDF. (I haven’t found a more formal, “science journal” style article indicating the methodology of the study in detail anywhere.) The CSE says it is testing the soft drinks using methodology developed by the American Environmental Protection Agency (EPA).

There are stories floating around of farmers using Coke and Pepsi drinks as low-budget pesticides, which would be a rather grim confirmation of this finding if substantiated. Of course, it’s unlikely that the amount of pesticide in these drinks is actually killing any bugs (the study finds pesticides in the drinks in the range of 11 parts per billion); it might well be the citric acid or the phosphoric acid (on the other hand, wouldn’t bugs be attracted to the sugar?). As a commentor on Scott Carney’s blog points out, it’s not clear whether this is a widespread practice, or a bit of an ‘urban legend’. Continue reading →

Brownsploitation at its best

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As much as I love Bollywood and the genre’s dance sequences, it is definitely important to recognize that Indian cinema encompasses more than just mainsteream Bollywood film. Not only is arthouse cinema on the up-and-up, but regional language film has always been a strong contributor to the entertaining of the masses. So, it is with great pleasure (thanks flats) that I present to you one of the coolest examples of a brownsploitation-film dance sequence EVER. It’s from a Tamil film entitled “Ellam Inba Mayam” (1981) and the song is Solla Solla Enna Perumai. Enjoy.

Click for the BEST. VIDEO. EVER.

Dolomite, eat your heart out. Can any of our Tamil speaking readers tell us what the song is about?

Continue reading →

A guide to Hindu temples for your coffee table

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A new coffee table book illustrates the architecture of, and the sculptures of deities within, temples across America. The Hindustan Times reports:

There are 53 Hindu temples in 33 American states, says a just published coffee table book that details the history, architecture, deities and other salient features reflecting the growing spread of Hinduism in this country.

Titled Bharat Rekha In America, the book by former Indian management consultant K. Panchapakesan, was released by Republican Congressman Joe Wilson, a member of the House of Representatives’ committee on international relations at the Capitol Hill.

Recalling his close personal ties with India and the role he played in the establishment of a Hindu Temple in South Carolina, Wilson lauded the efforts of the author to meet a long felt need of the Indian American Community. [Link]

Very kind of Joe Wilson (R-South Carolina) for backing this effort. It is probably a great way to get a good part of the Hindu vote in the next election.

I’m a picture man myself, especially when it comes to coffee table books. As long as the pictures look good who cares about the rest, right? Here is a description of the book from their website:

In the USA anyone can follow any religion by choice. Very secular. So Hinduism found a place in the society many years ago. Did Hinduism arrive 40,000 years ago in the geographic region, which is currently USA? So says an interesting report. Mr.N.Ganesan, a known writer on the subject of History of Hinduism has referred to it in his article in a popular magazine of USA, backing it with data from Text Books of reputed Book Publishers. [Link]

Surely there are reputable Hindu scholars among our audience that can comment on these claims. All I know is that Columbus arrived in 1492.

The USA has Hindu Temples in almost all the States. The number of Temples ranges from one or two in a state to five or six in some others. There are many traditionally built Temples. The Sri Venkateshwara Temple in Pittsburgh is said to be one of the earliest traditionally built Temples in recent times. There are many other Temples built in similar South Indian Style. The Sri Siva Vishnu Temple in Lanham, Maryland, the Sri Meenakshi Temple in Peerland, Texas, the Hindu Temple of Atlanta, the Sri Venkateswara Temple of Greater Chicago and the Mahavallabha Ganapati Temple, Flushing, to name a few. There are also Temples of North Indian style. The rest of the Temples are housed in independent buildings. Some of these Temples are being converted to traditional. Appearance with the construction of towers or gopurams. [Link]

As you could probably have guessed, there is no large temple in North Dakota where SM world headquarters is located.

Priced at US$ 49.95 and INR 2500/-, it has the initial print run of 1500 copies and expected to go unto 10,000. However, it will be sold at a discounted price especially at US $ 35 or INR Rs 1200/- during the Pravasi Bharatiya Divas. The publishers are targeting to sell about 10,000 copies in its very first year of publication. [Link]
Continue reading →