Idli in Sulaimaniya

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alencheril.jpgHere’s a military item in honor of the “surge” and courtesy of a tip from frequent commenter Maurice. It’s about the (presumably) first Indian husband and wife to both serve in the U.S. military. Sgt. Cyriac Alenchril, 35, is a supply sergeant in Iraq. Wife Fixie Alencheril, 31, recently completed basic training and is headed to Iraq as a human resources administrator. India Abroad has the story.

He says:

“I was told it would be an interesting news that my wife and I have committed ourselves to this war on terror, whereas many immigrants just enjoy only the fruits of the blessed land,” Cyriac said.

She says:

“It was not easy for an Indian woman to do all that the Caucasian or African-American women do. More than the physical struggle, the mental stress was too much. I am happy that I completed it successfully,” said Fixie…

Can’t you just hear the intonation? (I don’t mean that in a derisive way.) The article is full of other interesting tid-bits including this surreal scene of a Mallu herding Punjabis to perform for Americans in Iraq:

Cyriac said his proudest moment in Iraq was on last August 15, “when I gathered some 15 Punjabis to sing the Indian national anthem in Sulaimaniya before an American audience.”

And the taste of home:

Guarding 3,000 detainees in Sulaimaniya and training Iraqi correctional cadets are not easy tasks. But he felt at home in Iraq because of the many good curries he got to eat, thanks to the many benevolent Kerala cooks he met there.

Cyriac is a true believer. He intends to stay in the military 30 years, and he wants more Indians to emulate him:

“Currently, there are very few Indians in the army. Those who are in the services are mainly medical personnel. This needs to change,” Cyriac said.

The couple’s two young children are with Fixie’s parents back in India. Here’s hoping everyone stays safe, surge and all. Continue reading →

Illegal traffik

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It’s a story that I am sure will find it’s way to Bollywood soon. Two brown brothas, one desi and one latino, tied together by a common passion, risked everything to stick it to the MAN and got caught. Tipster RP alerted us to the story of “Kartik Patel and Gabriel Murillo [who] pleaded not guilty to felony charges Monday” in Los Angeles. Los Angeles is not going to be a fun place to drive… officials took the threat seriously

Patel and Murillo were members of a shadowy brotherhood, an organization I’ll bet you’ve never even heard of, called the “Engineers and Architects Association, ” a city union devoted to the dark arts of engineering and architecture. By going on strike, the union grabbed the city of Los Angeles by the golis. They warned:

“Los Angeles is not going to be a fun place to drive.” City officials took the threat seriously. [Link]

You bet your rims they took the threat seriously! The only things that Angelenos fear more are disruptions to its cocaine and its silicone supply.

These two men were the elite of their organization, the special ops as it were:

one a renowned traffic engineer profiled in the national media, [and] the other a computer whiz who helped build the system. [Link]

They executed their daring plan with steely nerves. This scene will need to be scored delicately, with a whole song written for it by A.R. Rehman:

Fearful that the strikers could wreak havoc on the surface street system, … [the MAN] temporarily blocked all engineers from access to the computer that controls traffic signals.

But officials now allege that two engineers, Kartik Patel and Gabriel Murillo, figured out how to hack in anyway. With a few clicks on a laptop computer, the pair … allegedly tied up traffic at four intersections for several days. [Link]

“Tied traffic up”?? No, dear readers, these two did far far more than that. They used an ancient technique known to brown people in India and Mexico to bring the MAN to his knees. They didn’t merely stop traffic at a few lights. No, they were far more subtle than that. Using their ancient cultural wisdom, they selected the most vulnerable locations in the city, its vital nerve clusters, and hit them with a strike that didn’t paralyze … it just slooooooowed everything down. Now traffic was moving like Bombay or Mexico city!

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More Triumphant Cultural Inroads

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“Kind of like the Indian Robert Redford and Brad Pitt, only crank up the handsome and rip off the knob.” That’s how Stephen Colbert described Amitabh Bachchan and Shah Rukh Khan in a segment Tuesday evening making fun of celebrity feuds. (Apparently there’s some ruckus about Big B not turning up at SRK’s New Year’s Eve party.) Trump v. Rosie and Angelina v. Madonna were the other two targets, but with a full half of the segment devoted to Bollywood clips and mangled names of Indian stars (“Let me tell you something: If Pree-etty Zinta is there, you better fucking show up”), the item — which wasn’t all that funny to begin with — came out in a weird space between derision and, ultimately, a kind of respect. Watch for yourself, but to my eyes this was a more sophisticated intro to Bollywood than anyone in the studio audience might have expected. I suspect we have an alternadesi mole somewhere on Colbert’s writing staff.

As you might expect the Indian press is all over it. “The short spoof may also have been aired keeping in mind the fact that the show is extremely popular amongst Indian Americans,” this report speculates. Continue reading →

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How to choose a college

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This is so true. Just so damn true that I had to bring it to the attention of SM readers. Just read what Jason Neffler has to say about a topic that doesn’t get nearly enough attention:

I’m really glad I decided to go to my current school. I can’t think of an American college with such balanced and complementary diversity. While any old school can boast of their Indian dance groups, few can say they have the perfect number of them. Well, this one can. Yeah, you could say I have it good when it comes to Indian dance groups. Or, more accurately, I have exactly the right amount when it comes to Indian dance groups.

Three.

I checked out a few other schools before coming here, and the choice wasn’t too difficult. Some of these schools have upwards of seven Indian dance groups. That undercuts the cultural importance of the dancing with petty competitiveness, and dilutes the experience with oversaturation. Meanwhile, a bunch of the other schools have only one or two, which is equally unacceptable. Try coming away with any informed appreciation of Indian dancing with only two Indian dance groups on campus. It’s completely ridiculous–insulting, even.

No, three is dead-on… [Link]

By the time most of the people who read this website have kids, I think that this elusive balance of three Indian dance groups per campus will be a thing of the past. I forsee a day when somewhere between 7-10 troupes have established themselves at every college (except maybe community college). This development, combined with the ever-quickening pace of global warming, has got me thinking as to whether children are even a good idea. Is this the world we want to bring them into? One where Bollywood-style dancing is done by everyone?

Like a proper Bharatnatyam, Neffler’s wisdom kept flowing:

… if I’m looking to take a break from my economics studies with a little Bharatanatyam or Odissi, I can always check out Eternal Bhakti when they perform at the commons. When it comes to bringing to life the ancient theories put forward in the Natya Shastra Of Bharata, I believe I speak for the entire student body when I say that there’s no room for improvement in that department.

Of course Eternal Bhatki’s not for everyone. But at this school, it doesn’t need to be. We also have Saraswati, for those who like their Manipuri slow and relaxing. No pressure here. Just Indian dancing with no frills. [Link]

Just share this with someone. The Onion continues to be America’s finest news source.

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India’s Next Top Hot College Chick

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It sounds pretty simple:

1) Put up a website called “India’s Hottest College Chick Contest“

2) Sit back in Chandigarh, Punjab (where the owner of this site resides) and collect all the “hot chick” pictures emailed in.

It makes me wonder why we didn’t call our website “America’s Hottest Desi Blog-Lurker Contest” (although I may still lobby my bunkermates for this change).

Does anyone actually fall for this kind of crap? I had questions:

1. What is India’s Hottest College Chick Contest?

– India’s Hottest College Chick is an all-online contest. The contest shall take place totally online. The contest shall be full of interactive content, contestant related stuff, games, debates, interviews, clips, podcasts, vote-outs, attitude and loads of masala! The winners shall be adjudged on the basis of voting only. The contestants shall actively interact with the audience.

2. Who wins the contest and how?

– As stated earlier the contestants who remains till the end i.e the one who survives throughout the vote-outs and the contests shall be the winners. The top five shall be awarded prizes. The last remaining shall win the grand prize of Ddamas Jewelry set….

3. Can I participate?

– Ofcourse! You must follow the minimum eligibility criteria of being a girl first(Phew!). [Link]

If I use the phrase “kids these days!” does that mean I’m officially old? But seriously, what the hell? Can any dude with a web address become the next Hugh Hefner? And this little entry from their blog made me squirm:

Just a 48 hours after opening up with the registrations and a few (Indian)Broadband issues later we’re finally on! With nearly 57 registrations the moderators Raman and Ish are having a busy time compiling and reviewing profiles and sending approval mails. [Link]

“Compiling and reviewing?” Is that what they call it nowadays?

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Burger Raja

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While growing up my mom would do ravivar, which translates into Sunday in Gujarati. This was a tradition passed down to her from her mother, and basically every Sunday my mom would only eat once during the day. When I was a kid, it sucked for Sunday lunch because it meant eating a full-on Gujarati feast, when all I really want to eat was a grilled cheese and some bugles. Things looked up for dinner though, when my sister and I were allowed to choose our poisons. This often led to a visit to Burger King for a Veggie Whopper and onion rings. The Veggie Whopper, for those of you that haven’t had the pleasure of having it is different than the BK Veggie which was only recently added to the menu, and is essentially Burger King’s signature Whopper without the meat patty. As ridiculous as it may sound, it was one of my favorite foods order. I know that for most vegetarians, a fast food burger joint doesn’t quite fit the bill as an ideal place to grab a bite, but my sister and I loved Burger King. And that Burger King presented some semblance of a vegetarian option set it apart from its competition. While I was always on the fence about allying myself strictly to Burger King or McDonalds – you never know when you will crave a McFlurry – when the news came out a few year’s back that McDonalds had been deceiving its vegetarian customers by incorporating that unnecessary beef tallow ingredient into its french fries, I moved completely into the Burger King camp.

So I was glad when I saw the news that fast food eaters in India would soon be getting a choice in where they can hang out and munch on American style burgers and fries. From this story in the Economic Times, it seems Burger King will soon be joining the burger wars in India as it begins to scout out locations and business partners with which to start its joint burger venture in India. And with its opening,

Burger King is likely to shake McDonald’s monopoly in India by launching its own brand of burger restaurants. The company, best known for its price war with Big Mac in the US, has mandated Kotak Mahindra to scout for a partner in what is a growth market for global fast food companies. Industry sources feel that even though McDonald’s is firmly established in metros like Delhi and Mumbai, Burger King’s entry is likely to start a burger war of sorts. Innovation in product offerings and location of outlets would play a crucial role in drawing customers in the long run. In the short term, McDonald’s would lose some customers to Burger King out of the sheer curiosity factor. However, this would happen only if both are located in the same catchment area,” said an industry source.

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Little Mosque on the Prairie

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As SM regular Badmash notes on the news page, the new sitcom “Little Mosque on the Prairie” has its debut this evening on the CBC, Canada’s public broadcasting network. I hope that many of you Canadian mutineers will check it out and report back on what, from the clips available on the show’s site and news reports, looks like a smart comedy that takes on anti-Muslim prejudice without straying from the tried-and-true writing and directing approaches that make situational comedy work. Here’s the synopsis:

LITTLE MOSQUE ON THE PRAIRIE is a new comedy from CBC Television about a small Muslim community in the prairie town of Mercy, many of whose residents are wary of their new, more “exotic” neighbors. The series takes an unabashedly funny look at the congregation of a rural mosque and their attempt to live in harmony with the often skeptical, even down right suspicious, residents of their little prairie town. The sitcom reveals that, although different, we are all surprisingly similar when it comes to family, love, the generation gap and our attempts to balance our secular and religious lives.

You can get a sense of the show from the CNN report linked above. (If you can’t stand Paula Zahn, forward to 00:38 for the start of actual piece.) The airport scene is classic. The humor is pretty direct and there’s lots of room for slapstick but that’s what makes the format work. Also check out this story about the show from the CBC itself. It’s mercifully Zahnless but shows fewer clips.

Both segments introduce us to the show’s creator, Zarqa Nawaz. This sister is no joke! She’s a British-born, Toronto-raised practicing Muslim mother-of-four, who “had a Bachelor of Science degree from U of T in her hands when she realized that medical schools had screening committees to keep people like her out of the health care system.” She went on to broadcast journalism and film, and has lived for the past ten years in cosmopolitan Regina, capital of Saskatchewan: Continue reading →

Live Longer, Smell Worse [Was: Pour Some Haldi On Me]

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“Tasty curry might have a fringe benefit,” headlines USA Today… today. The article is more specifically about the reported health benefits of turmeric. It’s not exactly a scoop, as a scientific paper on the topic was published two years ago and picked up by Manish in this January 1, 2005 post. Still, given the attention span of the typical USA Today reader (and who is that reader, anyway, other than the nameless masses of khaki-panted, cellphone belt-clipped, laptop warriors waking up each morning in the Marriotts of the land?), I suppose it’s information worth recycling from time to time. Plus we get a heart warming story to go with it:

Then Jayne took an Indian cooking class that emphasized fresh vegetables and curry spices.

She began to whip up an Indian dinner once or twice a week — and soon she noticed she wasn’t always looking for a late-night snack. And the curry in the food offered her a bonus: It seemed to ease the pain and swelling in her joints.

“I have arthritis,” says Jayne, 55. “But I’m moving better now.”

Preliminary research suggests Jayne may be right. A study in the November issue of Arthritis & Rheumatism suggests turmeric, one component of curry spice, almost completely prevented joint swelling in rats with arthritis. Other studies have suggested that the spice could protect against diseases such as heart disease, cancer and Alzheimer’s…

Tipster Adi points us to the article as picked up on the news aggregator site RedOrbit.com, where we get the benefit of reader comments. Made-up Indian names, comparisons of desi food to the excrement of various animals, and discussions of desi body odor and penis size are all on the menu. I won’t reprint any of it here but those of you who think racism against desis is no big deal might find it instructive to take a look.

Meantime, pass the lime pickle.

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Why the Hawks always seem to get their way

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The new issue of Foreign Policy Magazine has an interesting essay by Daniel Kahneman, a former Nobel Prize winner in economics. In the essay Kahneman points to known factors in human psychology to explain why the hawkish view of a given conflict is usually viewed by leaders as more favorable than the more dovish or pragmatic view. It is interesting to consider the points he makes in light of many current conflicts around the world, including Iraq and the impasse between India and Pakistan over Kashmir.

National leaders get all sorts of advice in times of tension and conflict. But often the competing counsel can be broken down into two basic categories. On one side are the hawks: They tend to favor coercive action, are more willing to use military force, and are more likely to doubt the value of offering concessions. When they look at adversaries overseas, they often see unremittingly hostile regimes who only understand the language of force. On the other side are the doves, skeptical about the usefulness of force and more inclined to contemplate political solutions. Where hawks see little in their adversaries but hostility, doves often point to subtle openings for dialogue.

As the hawks and doves thrust and parry, one hopes that the decision makers will hear their arguments on the merits and weigh them judiciously before choosing a course of action. Don’t count on it. Modern psychology suggests that policymakers come to the debate predisposed to believe their hawkish advisors more than the doves. There are numerous reasons for the burden of persuasion that doves carry, and some of them have nothing to do with politics or strategy. In fact, a bias in favor of hawkish beliefs and preferences is built into the fabric of the human mind. [Link]

This is interesting because most of us like to believe that before leaders make decisions they seek advice from a variety of smart people, reviewing all the facts, regardless of their preconceived notions. Many competent decision-making organizations even set up a red team/green team approach to pick apart opposing view points over major decisions. And yet, as many of us have seen, the use of force somehow ends up being the preferred course of action.

About 80 percent of us believe that our driving skills are better than average. In situations of potential conflict, the same optimistic bias makes politicians and generals receptive to advisors who offer highly favorable estimates of the outcomes of war. Such a predisposition, often shared by leaders on both sides of a conflict, is likely to produce a disaster. And this is not an isolated example.

In fact, when we constructed a list of the biases uncovered in 40 years of psychological research, we were startled by what we found: All the biases in our list favor hawks. These psychological impulses–only a few of which we discuss here–incline national leaders to exaggerate the evil intentions of adversaries, to misjudge how adversaries perceive them, to be overly sanguine when hostilities start, and overly reluctant to make necessary concessions in negotiations. In short, these biases have the effect of making wars more likely to begin and more difficult to end. [Link]
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The Noida Serial Murders

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Cannibalism, necrophilia and organ trafficking are among the rumors swirling around the serial murders that have come to light in recent weeks in Noida, the industrial suburb of Delhi home to numerous technology and outsourcing companies, and are now the subject of international coverage, for instance with a New York Times article today.

What seems established is that the killers were able to abduct, sexually abuse, murder, and dismember upward of 30 young people over more than two years, with reports of missing persons going back at least to 2004.

Also clear is a pattern of police inaction. This Hindustan Times article reports that the police were directed to investigate disappearances in September 2005 but did little. This NDTV report details how a victim’s father suspected Moninder Singh Pandher and his servant Surinder Kohli immediately, and how the police responded:

NDTV has the information that on May 6 [2006] when the girl, Payal, went missing, Surinder had made a call from his mobile phone to her.

The girl had gone to their house that day but never returned.

The next day, her father went to police with a complaint against Moninder and Surinder but the police refused to register his complaint.

Later he went to Noida’s Chief Judicial Magistrate requesting him to get the police to register his complaint.

The CJM ordered the police to register a case of kidnapping against Moninder and Surinder.

But, on 29th of June, the police registered a mere missing person’s report, which doesn’t involve any arrests.

The same day, the police interrogated Moninder and his servant Surinder but decided not to press any charges against them.

NDTV has a copy of the Noida CJM’s order dated September 29, 2006 where he has clearly ordered the police to register a case of kidnapping against the two.

In the enquiry report submitted to the CJM court of which NDTV has a copy, Noida police gave a clean chit to Moninder and Surinder and said Payal had eloped.

Payal’s father then moved the Allahabad High Court and in November 2006, the High Court directed the Noida Police to register a case of kidnapping against Moninder and Surinder.

Six months after Payal’s father first went to the police the complaint was finally registered on November – the FIR no 838/06 under sections 363, 366 of the Indian Penal Code.

The Circle Officer Dinesh Yadav, who was to conduct the enquiry, didn’t touch the case at first and handed over the enquiry to his junior.

On November 29, the junior, a second Circle Officer also refused to conduct the enquiry saying that the case did not fall under his jurisdiction.

So, the case came back to Dinesh Yadav and all this while Moninder and Surinder were roaming free going about their business.

Sources have told NDTV that Moninder and Surinder were questioned at least five times in the course of the enquiry but they were let off each time.

The case has all the ingredients for legitimate outrage about two-tier law enforcement and the lack of recourse for marginal, migrant workers, among whom the killers picked their victims. I’m also disturbed/fascinated by the employer-servant relationship of the perpetrators. It goes back to a feudal conception of household employment that a servant would be expected to — and consent to, perhaps even aspire to — join his employer in criminal activities, let alone ones this awful.

Meanwhile, how many other such cases are out there, the press wonders? Not just in India of course. At least this case has a more positive outcome than the 400+ murders of women maquiladora workers in Juarez, Mexico, which the government gave up investigating last August.

P.S.: From the Noida police department website, this wisdom:

Police and Public are the two participants in the system. They should meet each other half way – only then, the encounter becomes a feast. The mission of Noida Police Force is to ensure that the resultant outcome of the interaction between Police and Public is positive and their synergy leads to overall social benefit.

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