Do you like lists? I love ’em. My favorites include “100 things to do before you die,” “50 ways to lose your blubber,” and “25 ways to hide your bald spot.” (No, I don’t have a bald spot. I have a bald zip code.)

I just found another list. It’s called “Ten people who could change the world” and — surprise, surprise — Bobby Jindal is on it. The man never ceases to amaze me. I mean, he’s destined to change the world, whereas I have enough trouble changing my little son’s diaper.

The list appeared in the British magazine New Statesman, along with a profile of the Louisiana governor and future president.

Bobby Jindal talks too fast. That, both admirers and detractors agree, is the most noticeable flaw in the impressive presentation he offers as the first Indian-American governor and perhaps the best prospect for revitalising a Republican Party that has just started its tour of the wilderness … [Link]

Come on, guys. He doesn’t talk too fast. You just need to brush up on your Punjabi. You do know that he isn’t always speaking English, don’t you?

The man is brilliant. He speaks Punjabi, Hindi, Telugu, Tamil, Malayalam, French, Spanish, Arabic, Swahili and Xhosa, to name just a few. He’ll be the first U.S. president who can talk to foreign leaders in their native tongues. That would be a stark contrast from the last Republican president, who could barely talk to foreign leaders in his native tongue.

His rush of words is likely linked to the rush of his ambition, and his ambition – at 37, just two years above the minimum to be president – appears beyond restraint. He began his assimilation aged four, when he announced to his parents, a civil engineer and state official who moved from the Punjab to Louisiana before their son was born, that he wanted to be called “Bobby”, after a character in the 1970s sitcom The Brady Bunch, rather than his given name, Piyush. [Link]

You hear that? Bobby began his assimilation at age 4! The only thing I was assimilating at age 4 was payasam. Changing my name was the farthest thing from my mind. I was focusing on more exciting things, such as climbing the tree in the front yard, bouncing a ball off the neighbor’s wall, and pulling my sister’s hair. Continue reading →

India has a reputation for producing a lot of doctors, but it may also be gaining a reputation for producing a lot of doctoring. The fake-document industry appears to be flourishing like never before, which makes you wonder how many of those doctors have doctorates that were doctored. Not many, I believe, but every now and then, a fraudulent doctor is busted, perhaps after giving a patient reason to doubt his medical knowledge.

Patient: “Doctor, my angina is killing me. Please help me!”

Doctor: “Okay, lie back and spread your legs.”

A Bangladeshi man named Golam Kibria was recently fined for practicing medicine with no real  qualifications — unless you count that high school certificate.

After interrogation, Kibria confessed holding no medical qualifications. He said he began his career as an employee at a pharmacy in Kushtia in 1991. Since he wanted ‘to become a doctor’, in 2003 he went to India and bought MBBS and MD (Doctor of Medicine) certificates at a cost of Tk 12,000 from a network of people there who specialise in sale of ‘fake’ certificates of different colleges and universities. [Link]

Only Tk 12,000 ($175) for a pair of medical degrees? Wow, I wonder if I can finally make my mother’s dream come true. Don’t worry: I’m not planning on practicing medicine — just practicing being a good son.

Imagine how pleased my mom would be to display my MD certificate on her bedroom wall, right next to my PhD from Harvard and MBA from Wharton. Continue reading →