The Oakland Tribune recently peeked into the closet of the South Asian community, specifically in the Bay Area. In the times when Gay marriage seems to be the biggest issue facing the homosexual community, South Asians are still struggling with the basics.
Sonia first realized she was different when she was 12 or 13. Growing up in a middle-class Punjabi family in Northern California, she did not dare to discuss it with anyone.
“How could I? I am Indian,” said Sonia, who has never been to India. “You’re not supposed to have these feelings.”
Sonia is typical of the many homosexual South Asian Indians living in California, or in America, for that matter. The 2000 census puts the state in second place after New York with 451 gay Indian couples, indicating the race of the main householder alone.
But the real number is probably higher, given many are closet homosexuals. Despite living in the shadow of San Francisco, the gay capital of the world, many suppress their desires and grudgingly bow to cultural norms, while others come out and court rejection.
Sonia did both. Convinced she was being a “good daughter” by keeping her homosexuality a secret, Sonia agreed to a marriage her family had arranged. “There was no question of marrying a woman, so I married this man,” she said.
The article goes on to describe Sonia coming out to her parents and them just ignoring it, like her declaration never occured. South Asian society remains consistent in how it deals with things.
