It’s zimply and but only Indian English, yaar

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apu2.jpgThe ever excellent Wikipedia has a fascinating, quite detailed entry about the structure of Indian English –

Indian English is a catch-all phrase for the dialects or varieties of English spoken widely in India (by about 11% of the population, according to the 1991 census) and the Indian subcontinent in general. The dialect is also known as South Asian English. Due to British colonialism that saw an English-speaking presence in India for over two hundred years, a distinctly South Asian brand of English was born. …Spoken Indian English is often the butt of jokes by “educated” British, American and Indian English-speakers alike as is evidenced by such characters as Peter Sellers’ Indian party-goer in the movie The Party and the Simpsons’ convenience-store owner Apu Nahasapeemapetilon; there is also no dearth of jokes among Indians ‘riffing’ the pronunciation and idiomatic inconsistencies of Indian English.

Despite the almost de rigeuer and somewhat derogatory Apu reference, the article is a pretty serious language analysis and covers a lot of ground including regional differences within Indian English. Bihari’s for ex. apparently substitute “j” and “z” while we all know that “subcontinentals” just can’t wait to swap a few “v’s” and “w’s”.

In the end, however, here’s the real test of authenticity — just try to not to shake your head as you read a few entries aloud from their list of common Hinglish quirks –

…anomalies in the grammar of Indian English:
  • The progressive tense in stative verbs: I am understanding it. She is knowing the answer.

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Panjabi MC’s Steel Bangle

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Many of us have been waiting a long time for some new Panjabi MC material, and while he has released a new album, entitled Steel Bangle–in reference to the Kada or bracelet that many Sikh men wear, the material used for the album is apparently music that did not make the final cut for the last album PMC recorded for nachural records.

Word around the block is that PMC, aka Rajinder Rai, had signed on to release a certain amount of records for nachural, and to fulfill his commitment he decided to release old material, again. Even though the material is leftover, it is still PMC, and so some of it is quite hot. You can hear samples of the album’s 10 tracks here so go and give it a listen. My favorite track is Nachdi Tu Gidhe Vich featuring his longtime collaborator Labh Janjua, the singer from Mundian to Bach Ke.

That being said, this is definitely not an album to write to MTV about. Continue reading →

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Mo’ mehndi, mo’ problems

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Night of Henna claims to be the first-ever Pakistani-American film, which if true would be remarkably overdue (thanks, Turbanhead). It looks to be more arranged marriage with bad accents yadda yadda. Will she marry a desi, or will she stay with her white beau? It’s what we all struggled with — back in the days of Motley Crue.

Pooja Kumar, the print ad model for Bombay Dreams, stars. Craig Marker, from the most excellent Neil LaBute play The Shape of Things, co-stars, as does male model Suhail Tayeb. DJ Cheb-i-Sabbah did the soundtrack, which is promising; he does a soulful take on ‘Kaise Kaise.’

Watch the trailer. Here are showtimes. The film plays NYC’s Imaginasian starting Apr. 22.

Reclaiming Apu

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Seven.11 turned out to be insanely good, and if you’re in NYC you have only five days left to see it. This series of seven short plays, each 11 minutes long is absolutely hilarious, and the performers were obviously having a blast.

I love this deeply about NYC, you can see desi American scripts you can’t see performed anywhere else: it’s custom culture. Anuvab Pal’s piece was good, as usual, but the consistency was surprising — maybe five or six of the seven microplays were really, really good, or at the very least funny, and the rest is forgivable. The off-off-Broadway aspect of the whole endeavor lowers expectations, but I could see some of these, fleshed out, doing well on a large stage.

Soonderella is destined to be a cult hit. It’s definitely the only desi parody musical I’ve ever seen. Debargo Sanyal’s stammering, braying swain F-F-Fofatlal brought down the house. Pal’s Paris is a sharper, more malignant Before Sunrise; as in Chaos Theory, he has quite the ear for the advance and reverse of flirtation, it’s love as war zone. My only real complaint is the purely classicist flavor of the references, Sartre is no longer a young Turk.

Color Me Desi is a takeoff on Goodness Gracious Me’s rude boyz, and S.A.M.O.S.A. (South Asian Men Organizing Sci-Fi somethings) is a gut-busting Asian version of Napoleon Dynamite. And the in-jokes were fabulous. One actor had a line in the first piece, ‘C’est la vie — it’s your line.’ In the final play, the same actors: ‘C’est la vie.’ ‘Deja vu?’ Winky tone, blink and you missed it. 

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Happy Vaisakhi!

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Amardeep has a rundown of this harvest festival and Sikh New Year. Lohri is another favorite festival of mine: baking like the planet Mercury, searing bonfire on one side, frigid night on the other and bhangra all around the fire.

Here’s a snapshot I took at the 2003 Sikh Day parade in NYC. It’s the Madison Square Park tower in a playground mirror. This year’s parade will be held on Sat., Apr. 30.

Musical is first to perform Lennon’s ‘India, India’

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Yoko Ono, the almighty creator of cacophony and destroyer of institutions, allows a Broadway-bound musical to perform a pair of unpublished songs written by her late husband, Beatle John Lennon. One of those songs, “India, India,” received yesterday its first-ever public performance:

Lennon wrote ‘India, India’ in the late 1970s for a musical of his own writing named after his song The Ballad of John and Yoko. However, the show was never performed and the track remained unheard. It seems likely that in ‘India, India’ Lennon was writing about his 1968 visit to India, when the Beatles indulged their spiritual side at the ashram of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi in Rishikesh. [Apun Ka Choice]

Apun Ka Choice: Lennon’s ‘India, India’ on Broadway
Times of India: India, India lyrics

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Flaming purple Kali

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Sounds like a cocktail, no? Pixar artist Sanjay Patel illustrates Hindu mythology in a style reminiscent of Suck, Demian 5, Virgin and Bewitched (thanks, Turbanhead). It’s gorgeous work, although his Rama does look a bit much like Hrithik Roshan, and any kid-safe interpretation of Kali is bound to cross the line into kitsch.

Patel’s site says he came up with its name, Ghee Happy, via obscure analogy: reducing the rich strokes of Hindu iconography to their essence is like clarifying butter into ghee. He self-published a children’s book of Hindu gods and also sells 11″x17″ prints on his site. Check it out if you have any little ones in need of full-color indoctrination or just dig the visual style.

Update: Drawn has more (thanks, Harry). A commenter there says:

We were actually joking with Sanjay that he SHOULD do this with every religion, but I guess the problem with the monotheistic religions is that there would only be ONE page in the book…

Noureen Dewulf in ‘National Lampoon’s Pledge This!’

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Actress Noureen Dewulf plays an Indian sorority pledge named Sanagarvarapoopoo “Poo Poo” Gandosimi in this summer’s “National Lampoon’s Pledge This!” The film reads like a female rehash of “Van Wilder,” and stars wealthy porn star Paris Hilton as the sorority president. Peta Cooper (PC) interviews Dewulf (ND) for DesiClub.com:

PC: Does your character have a lot of “fobby” qualities?
ND: Fobby? Not really, I mean she speaks with an accent, wears Indian clothes and is really innocent until she gets corrupted.
PC: Does she wear deodorant?
ND: Peta – Shut up! (laughs) I kind of like FOBs anyway. They are cute and funny plus ignorance is bliss right?
PC: So you’re in this movie with Paris Hilton, how do both of your characters interact?
ND: Well, Paris’ character, Victoria, is the president of a sorority (Gamma Gamma) that my character Sanagarvarapoopoo Gandosimi aka “Poo Poo” is trying to pledge. So basically, she tortures me and the other pledges throughout the film, which is really funny. [DesiClub.com]

Even if it is funny, it’s going to be pretty damn hard to top the hilarity of Hilton picking up a cell phone during the sex scene in her previous masterpiece, “One Night in Paris.” (NSFW)

DesiClub.com: Noureen DeWulf — in hot company with Paris Hilton

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Hard Rock Café coming to Bombay

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Twenty years ago when everyone was sporting Hard Rock Café t-shirts, this would have allowed us to be culturally-appropriate posers:

…global cafecum-entertainment giant – the USD 426-million Hard Rock International – has made the move to enter India. Industry sources said Hard Rock International has signed an exclusive arrangement up with two Indian franchisee partners – Jai Singh and Sanjay Mehtani. The first Hard Rock Cafe is expected to come up in Mumbai, in September. [Times of India]

Times of India: Hard Rock to enter India

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Female runners targeted in Pakistan

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From the perspective of religious extremists, at least this is somewhat logical — if you’re trying to enslave women, you definitely don’t want them training to outrun you:

A week ago baton-wielding men threw petrol bombs and torched vehicles at a mini-marathon in Gujranwala, 135 miles south of Islamabad. The race – one of the first to allow female participation – ended with police firing tear gas and making more than 50 arrests. The threat of further violence forced the cancellation of other mini-marathons at the weekend in a direct challenge to President Pervez Musharraf’s policy of “enlightened moderation”. [The Guardian]

The Guardian: Mullahs target women runners

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