Swing shift

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16-year-old Kiran Matharu, a third-gen Brit Asian, is a budding golf star from Leeds whom some call the best female amateur golfer in the UK (thanks, midnight toker):

[Amarjit Matharu’s] daughter, Kiran, is the best female amateur golfer in the country. She plays off plus 3.4 – compared to Michelle Wie’s plus 4.2 – and she is only 16. Kiran is off to Texas this week, having been invited to a training camp by Butch Harmon, Tiger Woods’ former swing guru. Nike, Ping and Red Bull are all keeping a close watch. Serious money is just around the corner…

[Her father] was a keen sportsman, playing golf off four before switching his attention to cricket, but he never quite made the big time. He runs a bar in central Leeds and follows sport as a fan. He feels hard done by that Kiran is not given more attention. ‘Everyone raves about Michelle Wie,’ he says. ‘I know that if Kiran was American, she’d be red-hot news…’

Her practice swing is a thing of artistic beauty. So smooth, so relaxed, so natural. She bangs the ball 260 yards down the middle of the fairway without appearing to make any effort…

Kiran Matharu could be the most exciting female golfer to emerge in this country since Laura Davies started scorching the hide off the ball. Let’s hope she makes it, not just to repay the £50,000 her family has already invested in her career, but for her sake. [Link]

She will play in the Curtis Cup next year — the youngest member of the squad — and then turn pro. [Link]

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He got game

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Waris Singh Ahluwalia is the young actor and Urban Turban designer last seen in, and airbrushed out of the ads for, Wes Anderson’s The Life Aquatic. He’s currently shooting Spike Lee’s The Inside Man, which also stars Denzel Washington, Clive Owen, Jodie Foster, Willem Dafoe, Chiwetel Ejiofor and Christopher Plummer (thanks, zimblymallu):

The Inside Man tells the story of a cop (Washington) who must outsmart a professional bank robber (Owen) during a bank robbery turned hostage situation. [Link]

As negotiations grow more strained, a powerful lawyer with mysterious ties (Foster) becomes involved in the crisis… Dafoe will be playing the role of a police captain while Ejiofor plays a detective… [Link]

Waris plays a bank clerk… there you have Spike Lee wearing House of Waris. In the end he bought the horn ring and the enameled skull. On his right hand he is wearing the white gold and diamond skull ring. He’s totally decked out in House of Waris. [Link]

The movie, parts of which were shot at the Brooklyn Naval Yard, is due out March 24 next year. What fresh hell is this, to be green-eyed man-meat like Clive Owen and yet be cast opposite Waris ‘the S. is for sexayyy’ Ahluwalia

Related posts: Wes hearts Waris, Waris’ star turn: The Life Sikhquatic, Sikh fashionista in ‘The Life Aquatic’

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Newsstand roundup

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The December issue of Harper’s contains a short story called ‘Lost in Uttar Pradesh,’ more exoticized claptrap about oddness in India. One could pick a much less prosaic state than U.P. for the title; this is sort of like Louis Leakey traipsing around the mystical badlands of Cleveland.

· · · · ·

This week’s New Yorker includes a cover story on the Pakistan quake aftermath:

Musharraf seized power in a coup, six years ago, and at the time he described the Army as… the only body disciplined enough to fix the country’s ills… yet, when the earthquake hit, the Army appeared neither efficient nor consumed by any sense of urgency… ten days after the earthquake struck, Musharraf’s government signed a billion-dollar contract for Swedish military surveillance aircraft, a bewildering priority… “If you were a Westerner asked to provide humanitarian financial assistance to a country led by a military government obsessed with the regional ‘military balance,’ what would you think?”…

“The villagers, when tensions run high, can’t even do free farming out on their terraces, because the Indians fire at them,” he said. “They and their animals are often wounded.” Half a mile up, a section of the gorge wall had collapsed. Small tombstones protruded at odd angles from a mound of dirt. A bloated corpse wrapped in a black shroud lay on top of the mound. Apparently, the person had been killed by a falling graveyard…

As we approached the Line of Control, Abbas lost his way. He made a U-turn in the gorge, swung right into another canyon, and then hurriedly made a second U-turn. A soldier assigned to spotter duty pointed down at a tricolor Indian flag flapping directly underneath the helicopter… It’s hard to imagine how the two militaries keep track of the line in any event. The border twists from side to side and up and down, as if tracing the fingers of a very thick hand. [Link]

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Veezher

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If you thought Russell Peters’ material was too stereotypical in New York, watch what happens when a desi comedian plays Cincinnati. Rajiv Satyal, a moonlighting P&G’er, plays to stereotype up the yin-yang with threadbare jokes about camels, Kwik-e-Marts, Slurpees, terrorists and ‘thank you, come again.’ Wince.

He even calls himself Razheev. It’s my pet peeve, the weird American idea that Indian languages pronounce ‘j’ like in French. If you’re foreign in the movies, you’re given a British accent; if you’re foreign in real life, you’re assumed to be French. Sometimes it seems the only countries we know are the ones which fought here 250 years ago. Over New Jersey.

So take back your ‘Veezh,’ please. It’s Vij, just like it’s spelled, thankyaverramuch. Like Spanish, we’re into phonetic spelling down on the subcontinent. For your confusion, thank the French:

Send these, the confused, pronunciation-challenged to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door.

Related posts: Russell Peters strikes again, Russell Peters show online, Paul Varghese delivers on ‘Last Comic Standing’: God’s own comedy, God’s own comedy

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Russell Peters strikes again

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Set aside an hour for this one. Funnyman Russell Peters strikes again in this stand-up clip, and once he lets rip, you’re not gonna want to stop (thanks, Aizaz). Politically incorrect, but he’s just sayin’ in public what y’all say in private.

Update: At 21 minutes, he goes self-referential with his old punchline, ‘Somebuddy gonna get hurt real bad.’ Half the audience gets it and laughs. ‘Downloading m*f*s… that’s 45 minutes of material you won’t be hearing today.’

Update 2: Dwarf and deaf person jokes? The old show was better.

Related posts: Veezher, Russell Peters show online, Paul Varghese delivers on ‘Last Comic Standing’: God’s own comedy, God’s own comedy

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Gurpurab Greetings

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Today is the 536th birthday of Guru Nanak Dev ji, the founder of the Sikh religion.

Sikh pilgrims celebrate the anniversary of the birth of Guru Nanak, the founder of Sikhism, in Nankana Sahib, Pakistan.

Here is an article about the life and contributions of Guru Nanak.

Here is a description of how the event is usually celebrated.

Here is a very nice slideshow of images from the celebrations in India.

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TOMORROW: Eat Ice Cream in DC, Help Quake Victims in Pakistan

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Blog Quake day came and went, but so much more still needs to be don(at)e(d).

Mushie was on NBC’s Today this morning, as Ann Curry asked him how much more his country needs; his answer was measured in the Billions.

My cousin Lisa sent me a forward with an easy way Mutineers in DC can help TOMORROW:

BEN & JERRY’s in Dupont Circle has graciously agreed to donate 25 % of your tab towards the South Asia Earthquake Relief Effort. The money will go directly to the Association of Pakistani Physicians of North America (APPNA). Please mention the cause when you purchase your ice cream.

An estimated 70,000-80,000 people have been killed and 2.7 million left homeless in the aftermath of a devastating earthquake that hit Pakistan, Kashmir and India on October 8th. With the harsh Himalayan winter rapidly approaching, death tolls are expected to double.

You CAN make a difference. Your contribution will be used on the ground in Pakistan to assist doctors and nurses treat the injured and prevent the spread of disease.

When: Wednesday, November 16th, 7:30-8:30p

Where: Ben & Jerry’s, 1333 19th Street NW

This is a wonderful idea– if any of you are coordinating similar fundraisers, please let us know. Mo’ notice, mo’ betta. Continue reading →

A Clash of the Titans

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Those helmets are fierce!

I have been pretty bummed about football this season. My Michigan Wolverines are not going to be national champions (not even close), my 49ers are hapless, and even my fantasy football team has seen a sudden downturn. I had just about lost all hope in the sport until SM tipster Aliya sent us a heads up about a football game being played on Thanksgiving Day. Screw the Cowboys and the Lions. I had to look no further to remember my love for the game than the city of my birth: Skokie, Illinois. The 6th Annual Indo-Jew Bowl is on, and if you don’t know, now you know:

Five years ago, in the bitter chill November air, best of buddies, yet bitter rivals, made a pact. They agreed to a competition of courage, endurance, strength and will that would soon prove to be the pinnacle of events in the Greatest Village in the World that is Skokie. The two most dominating Super-Powers met to determine the true leaders of the community the only way they knew how: in a field of play. The Indians fought the Jews, both honorary and true, with all of their heart and gave the fine Village of Skokie some newfound pride. Sadly only one group of men were victorious that day. The Indos left as champions, but the real story was this was just the beginning of something special.

Something special has now it has turned into the annual zenith in all that is Indian and Jewish Life. That first afternoon also displayed a gust of diversity that can never be matched, and is always attempted to be replicated each and every Thanksgiving from here on out. Pride is at stake and another year of bragging rights are in order. Only at Indo Jew Bowl can you say hello to an old buddy, friend, or pal in the most serene of settings. Attend a perhaps run into a “Local Celebrity,” but attend and expect to garner a slice of history that will go unmatched. Suffice it to say this is one chapter of a classic novel that has to be read.

Can we get a satellite feed please! After winning the first Indo-Jew Bowl, the Indians have been dominated. They are down 4 games to 1. This year is about salvaging some pride. Here are the rosters:

Indos – Keyur Vora, Pranil Vitha, Sonesh Shah, Trushar Naik, Nirav Dedhia, Ajay Mehta, Nilay Vora, Bub Vitha, Ash Soni, and a mystery player!

Jews – Amit Klass, Michael Wenger, Steve Feder, Christopher Shermach, Danny Spitz, Adam Federman, Bobby Wenger, Yochai Eisenberg, Daniel Engelman, Matthew Robins

Aliya, informs us that the word on the street is that the Indo’s mystery player may in fact be one Penny Hardaway of the New York Knicks. Ringer. (update: there is no confirmation of this rumor. See comment #1) Continue reading →

I am SERENER THAN YOU!

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A new study shows that meditation lets you close popup ads faster (via Boing Boing):

The test involves staring at an LCD screen and pressing a button as soon as an image pops up. Typically, people take 200 to 300 milliseconds to respond… meditation was the only intervention that immediately led to superior performance, despite none of the volunteers being experienced at meditation.

“Every single subject showed improvement… Why it improves performance, we do not know.” The team is now studying experienced meditators, who spend several hours each day in practice. [Link]

Not to mention bigger head muscle:

They found that meditating actually increases the thickness of the cortex in areas involved in attention and sensory processing, such as the prefrontal cortex and the right anterior insula.

“You are exercising it while you meditate, and it gets bigger,” she says. The finding is in line with studies showing that accomplished musicians, athletes and linguists all have thickening in relevant areas of the cortex. It is further evidence, says Lazar, that yogis “aren’t just sitting there doing nothing”. [Link]

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