I see brown people

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You know how sometimes you just get … browned out to the point where everything you see has some sort of desi connection? Well, it happens to those not of the subcontinent as well. Here’s what happened to Saheli’s friend ToastyKen:

Not Aishwarya

While I was driving, I caught a glimpse of this Gap ad in a bus shelter. “DESI(RED).” I immediately assumed it was pun on the words “desired” and “desi”. I only got a brief look as I sped by, so I figured it was a Desi model in the picture. (“Was that Aishwarya Rai?”)

“Hm,” I thought. “I didn’t realize the word ‘Desi’ was so mainstream now. Maybe they’re trying to project a multicultural marketing message or something?” But I didn’t really think that hard about it. [Link]

Of course, it’s not Aishwarya, it’s Penelope Cruz. And it’s neither an appeal for brownbucks nor a critique of socialist influences in “I love Lucy”, it’s part of the new (product)red branding exercise / fundraiser “designed to Help Eliminate AIDS in Africa.” It has nothing to do with us, even though we like to imagine that everything does. It’s purely a koinkydink.

As an aside, while I often find myself defending Bono, in this case I agree with the conservative critic Michael Medved’s opinion of the campaign (assuming he’s correct):

… [Medved] called the campaign a “scam” because, he wrote, it is merely an excuse for companies “to jack up their prices on ordinary merchandise to ridiculous levels, and not all the difference in price is actually going to the charity…” [Link]
I’m afraid I’m too desi (i.e. cheap) to buy in. I’d rather buy the regular gear and send a check for the excess directly to the charity of my choice without having the Gap or whoever skim its percentage. To me, that’s the desi and desi(red) way of donating.

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Eid Mubarak!

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Muslims all over the world will be waking up early this Monday [or Tuesday] morning and making their way to prayer in celebration of Eid ul-Fitr.

It is a joyous occasion with important religious significance. Happiness is observed at attaining spiritual uplift after a month of fasting. Muslims dress in holiday attire. After attending the special congregational prayer in the morning, worshippers greet and embrace each other in a spirit of peace, love, and brotherhood. Visiting friends and relatives is common.

For Muslims, Eid ul-Fitr is a joyful celebration of the achievement of enhanced piety. It is a day of forgiveness, moral victory and peace, of congregation, fellowship, brotherhood and unity. Muslims are not only celebrating the end of fasting, but thanking God for the help and strength that they believe he gave them throughout the previous month to help them practice self-control.[wiki]

Eid morning childhood memories for me are littered with 6am wake up calls, new colorful outfits, fresh warm rashagallas quickly stuffed in mouths and static-y arabic suras blasting through the tape deck in the family car as we made our way to the 8am morning prayer. Prayers were held in a huge hangar at the Fairplex – otherwise home to the LA County Fair – but on this morning, it was always home to thousands of Muslims from all across Southern California coming together in Eid solidarity. While my father went with the men folks one way, we women would enter through another, taking shoes off and keeping an eye out for family friends. As we lay down our prayer mats amongst a colorful sea of satin, sparkles, and smiles, you could hear Eid greetings being murmured in Urdu, Arabic, Bengali, Farsi, and Malay all around. The sound system would crackle, there would be a slight pause in the crowd, and then azan (the call to prayer) could be heard through the speakers. We would all rise, stand shoulder to shoulder, a holy hush would fall over the crowd and Eid prayers would begin…

I have always loved Eid-ul-Fitr, more so than the other Eid, because this one marked the end of fasting for Ramadan. The day is spent reflecting on the success of fasting, the feeling like I had accomplished something. I had resisted food/ temptation/ indulgence/ profanity/ haraam for a whole month, and hoped that I could hang on to that spirituality, until the next Ramadan came along. Of course, it is also a day to spend in celebration with family, which for us always involves an inordinate amount of chaat puti, puris, goat curry, and rashmali.

Sadly, as I researched for this piece, the stories I found were somber – attacks on Iraqi Ramadan shoppers, an exploding fruit cart killed nine in Pakistan, the possible use of spy planes over Eid prayer. I didn’t want to ignore those stories altogether, but I did want to shine a positive light on what Eid means to millions of Muslims around the world. But these stories are a reminder, at least for me, to pray for the defeat of ‘evil-doers’ everywhere in my Eid prayers today.

Hopefully everyone in the mutiny had a wonderful Ramadan. Here’s to wishing everyone an Eid Mubarak!

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Midget Pakistani zombies in time for Halloween

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Just in time for Halloween, SM commeter “Red Snapper” left a link on our News Tab to a new Pakistani zombie flick titled “Zibahkhana” (Hell’s Ground). From the movie’s website:

Five urban, contemporary Pakistani students plan to drive out of the city for an open air rock. On the way they cross some angry demonstrating victims of turbid, diseased water along the way and arrive in an area inhabited by a clan time and technology has long forgotten. Two worlds collide as the city youths take a fatal turn and land up in a quagmire shrouded in evil where the only fight is the one to survive. [Link]

Does anyone know what an “open air rock” is? If so, our next LA meet-up should be an open air rock too. Variety has more on the flick:

“Zibahkhana” (Hell’s Ground) might not be Pakistan’s first horror movie, but it’s almost certainly the first featuring midget zombies and produced by an ice cream mogul.

A co-production between U.K.-based video label Mondo Macabro and Pakistani production company Bubonic Films, “Zibahkhana” is directed by first-timer Omar Khan, a Pakistani film historian and the owner of a chain of ice cream shops in Lahore. Producer is Pete Tombs, an expert on Asian horror and exploitation movies whose Mondo Macabro video label has released such titles as Indonesia’s “Lady Terminator” and “Virgins From Hell…”

“We don’t have songs or comedy sequences, none of the prerequisites of the South Asian film,” says director Omar Khan. “It’s a complete ripping up of what’s expected from local productions…” [Link]

Well thank God for that last promise! Bollywood’s attempts at adding song and dance sequences to horror flicks have failed miserably.

If these film-makers are smart they will slip some incisive social commentary into this film in much the same way that the makers of Battlestar Galactica use a sci-fi vehicle to launch a devastating commentary on the Iraq war. For example, take a look once again at the synopsis of the movie I quoted at the top of the post:

Two worlds collide as the city youths take a fatal turn and land up in a quagmire shrouded in evil where the only fight is the one to survive.

Sounds like parts of the Pakistani/Afghan border to me. But enough serious talk. Let’s take a look at some of the movie production stills shall we? Continue reading →

Happy Diwali

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In my obliviousness, I almost scheduled a meetup today. [Is it my fault that I celebrated Hanukkah more than Diwali as a kid?] To atone for this earlier oversight, therefore, I bring you the official Diwali greeting from the government of Canada:

“On behalf of Canada’s new government, I would like to extend my warmest greetings and best wishes to members of the Indo-Canadian community as you celebrate Diwali… Every year, this joyous occasion is celebrated by some one billion people of the Hindu, Sikh and Jain faiths around the world. And that includes some one million of our fellow citizens right here in Canada. Friends, as you gather with your loved ones amid a sea of flickering flames, please know that the thoughts of our government are with you. Over the years, the Indo-Canadian community has made a tremendous contribution to our great country. Your work ethic and commitment to family and community serve as an inspiration to all…Happy Diwali to all. Namaste. Sat Sri Akal. Thank you.” [Prime Minister Stephen Harper of Canada]

Why Canada? Well, Ottawa is closer to North Dakota than Washington DC is, but mainly it’s because Google News brought it to my attention, whereas I had to go rooting around for the American counterpart.

Not to be outdone by their neighbors up north, the White House celebrated Diwali with a party for the fourth year running, although Bush was away and so sent a written greeting instead. Here’s a description of the event:

The White House celebrated Diwali, the festival of lights, in the historic Indian Treaty Room in the Old Executive Building for the fourth successive year. More than 150 guests were in attendance, among them many prominent members of the Indian American community. President George W Bush, who was busy campaigning for his besieged Republican Party in Pennsylvania and Virginia, however failed to be there.

Under Secretary for Public Diplomacy Karen Hughes keynoted the event as chief guest, and Jay Hein, Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of the Office of the Faith-Based and Community Initiatives, lit the diya. [Link]

BTW, I’m pretty sure that’s the “Native American treaty room” and not the “Brownz treaty room” but I’ll take what we can get especially since Diwali did not merit an official proclamation unlike “Leif Erikson Day, 2006“, “General Pulaski Memorial Day, 2006“, “Gold Star Mother’s Day, 2006” or “National Character Counts Week, 2006“. But who am I to complain – the White House at least knew when Diwali is!

Related posts: A stamp of approval, White House celebrates Diwali, In Barbie’s Closet

UPDATE:

I realize I may not have been clear enough about this originally. The President was unable to attend Diwali celebrations at the White House in part because he was campaigning for Senator Allen’s re-election bid:

President Bush last week helped raise money in two of the year’s most controversial re-election campaigns, stumping for Republican Rep. Don Sherwood in Pennsylvania and Sen. George Allen in Virginia. [Link]

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Rajarshi "Tito" Mukhopadhyay

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Until recently, most of what I knew about autism came from Rain Man. I was surprised to learn, therefore, that a desi is one of the most famous people with autism in the world. Tito is rare – he is both highly autistic and highly articulate. He can explain himself and his behaviors to doctors, thus providing a window into a condition that is still poorly understood:

Born and raised in India, Tito speaks English with a huge vocabulary. His articulation is poor, and he is often hard to understand. But he writes eloquently and independently, on pads or his laptop, about what it feels like to be locked inside an autistic body and mind…

“I’ve seen Tito sit in front of an audience of scientists and take questions from the floor,” said … an autism expert at Cambridge University. ”He taps out intelligent, witty answers on a laptop with a voice synthesizer. No one is touching him. He communicates on his own.”… [Link]

Tito is one of the most famous individuals with autism in the world, perhaps even more famous than Dr. Temple Grandin:

Several of his poems were published in the National Geographic, the New York Times and Scientific American have published feature stories on him, and BBC has aired an Inside Story documentary about him. His book, Beyond the Silence, which contain writings from when he was between eight and eleven years old, covers the first part of his life story and a special selection of his philosophical texts that were featured on BBC. [Link]

In fact, he’s so prolific that I’m surprised he doesn’t have a blog:

”I need to write,” he said recently, scrawling the words on a yellow pad. ”It has become part of me. I am waiting to get famous.”… [Link]
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Draconian — Even By Israeli Standards

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Between the radioactive elucubrations of the Dear Leader, the accumulation of tortured and executed bodies in Iraq, the tawdry revelations of the Foley affair, and the growing murmur of a supposed Democratic sweep in the midterm election (I’ll believe that one when I see it), there has been precious little front-page consideration of the signing, earlier this week, of the Military Commissions Act.

As you may have heard, the act drastically changes the legal landscape for foreigners in the United States, whether here legally or illegally. It allows the government to deny a foreign suspect the right to challenge his or her imprisonment (habeas corpus), to employ evidence obtained by a wide and ambiguous range of coercive methods, and to use classified evidence whilst withholding it from the defense. Small things like that.

I will leave it to the lawyers here to amplify or amend this summary. Perhaps one reason why there hasn’t been much discussion is that the Supreme Court will ultimately determine whether, and in what form, this law stands. It’s quite possible that the Hamdan case, in which desi lawyer Neal Katyal plays a prominent role, will become the test case. At any rate, some in the media are looking ahead to this next phase, and already centering speculation on Justice Anthony Kennedy, the current swing Supreme.

I did, however, come across one very interesting piece of commentary that I wanted to share. In an Op-Ed in the Boston Globe, Harvard Law professor Martha Minow and a former legal adviser to the Israeli military, Gabrielle Blum, compare the new legislation with Israel’s approach to the same problem. They lead with their finding:

BEFORE ENACTING the “Detainee Bill” (otherwise known as the Military Commissions Act) two weeks ago, Congress should have spent more time learning from the Israeli experience. Compared with Israel’s security measures during a long and difficult experience with terrorism, the US Congress has gone too far in its willingness to compromise human rights and civil liberties. Security considerations, as legitimate and forceful as they are, do not justify such excessive measures, as the Israeli practice demonstrates.

Israel’s Unlawful Combatants Act, enacted in 2002, among other things provides for an immediate military hearing of the detainee upon detention, and a judicial hearing within two weeks and again every six months; a range of requirements for detention conditions and privileges; and the detainee’s right to meet with the Red Cross. The current U.S. legislation provides none of these safeguards. In addition, also unlike Israel, the U.S. law grants immunity to U.S. officials from prosecution except in the most extreme cases.

Minow and Blum conclude:

… the US Military Commissions Act sends to other countries facing terrorism the message that effective judicial review is null and void once the security alarm is sounded. It demonstrates a level of panic and irresponsible abandonment of principles that other nations, facing similar dangers, have avoided.

As bad as this may be for America, it is potentially far worse for countries that look to the United States for leadership. Now, the US example will encourage other nations to throw away rights just when they are sorely tested.

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Chris Omprakash Sharma, America’s top climber

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Chris Sharma is the best rock climber in America, and probably the best sport climber in the world:

When he completed his long-time project Realization in Ceuse, France in 2001, the route was arguably the hardest in the world…

Sharma [has] won the World Cup of Climbing, [but] it was later recalled after he tested positive for THC, although THC is not a performance enhancing drug. He returned the cup. [Link]

Sharma has continuously pushed the limits of the sport, climbing routes more difficult than virtually anybody else:

Chris Sharma, the 24-year-old monkey boy who in 2001 introduced the world to 5.15 climbing (the sport’s hardest grade), recently cobbled together a new boulder problem, across the roof of an Ozarks cave, that some say is one of the hardest lines ever completed. [Link]

I got really excited when I first heard his name. This guy who climbs like a mountain macaca … could his name really be Krishna Omprakash Sharma? I mean, that pot thing is so Harold & Kumar.

Nope. Despite his desi middle and last names, he’s neither [racially] desi nor hadesi, he’s actually a hidesi [desi with either Hippie or Hindu convert parents]. His parents are disciples of Baba Hari Dass, “who has not spoken since 1952 and communicates by writing on a small chalkboard.” Continue reading →

I speak more Punjabi than Amharic

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Despite declaring that I do not imbibe by myself last week, tragic times call for pathetic measures; I spent the greater part of my Sunday afternoon intoxicating at Tryst, alone. I was all dressed up in black (though sadly, I did not resemble an erotic vulture), like some flashback to 1989, right down to the eyeliner-as-eyeshadow-tactic for that extra corpse-y effect.

271009556_328658be36_m.jpg My favorite way to waste a lazy Sunday is with one fat newspaper and several cups of milky coffee. After a phonecall from home bearing bad news, those props were replaced by this iBook and several pint glasses of milky coffee + alcohol, on the rocks. That was one slightly bright spot on an otherwise bleak day; what I was chugging was delicious and that’s because it was by my design. Sort of. Okay fine, the drink that I want to take credit for right now is but a slight variation on the powerhouse “Martin Blanco” cocktail I’ve been fond of forever at Tryst (iced vanilla vodka + espresso + kahlua + amaretto + milk…shaken violently). Amaretto di Saronno was my Father’s favorite liqueur and I didn’t want to taste it on a day when I was already glum. I improvised.

“Would it be possible to get Bailey’s instead of the Amaretto?”

My waiter paused and then smiled, as if he suddenly approved of such a manoeuver. “SURE.”

Later, when one of his co-workers asked me what I would call this elixir I was re-ordering for the third time, I tipsily blurted out “Martin O’blanco!” and she loved it. So there you have it. Since one of my goals in life is to get something on a menu either named after or otherwise attached to me (I’d totally settle for getting a mention in a menu “description”, which is something I think Tryst does), I take my barely-witty nomenclating of half-creative cocktails seriously enough to torture you with it.

As satisfying (and veg-happy) as Tryst’s menu is, I craved something different. I had devoured Amsterdam Falafel earlier in the day for lunch; I was suddenly consumed with memories of the fantastic gobi I had enjoyed there and I wanted more. I’m like that; if I dig something I will eat it over and over and over (PB + J, every day, grade 1-12) again. I do that with movies, too. And books. Especially suitable ones. Amsterdam it would be. I told the purveyor of O’blanco that I’d be back in 30 minutes and I left.

Though I have learned my lesson and no longer wear anything remotely cute while on 18th street, lest I encourage the invasive jerks who plague my new ‘hood with their assault attempts, all my modest, flesh-concealing layers were barely adequate for the autumn chill. I keep forgetting that it’s October and that I should expect to shiver accordingly. Or, you know, wear a jacket.

“Ay, Mami…where you going? Come on in.” Three confused desi promoters speak Latin to me half-heartedly. It’s Sunday night and the strip is dead. I think they’re more bored than serious. I smile as I pass them, right before one of them asks the other, “Was she Indian?” That’s the question of the day, apparently. Continue reading →

Non-essential computer use

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Yesterday I made the stupid mistake of forwarding this article as an internal memo to my SM bunker-mates:

Scientists at Stanford University say the United States is loaded with Internet addicts who are possibly as clinically ill as alcoholics.

The nationwide study suggests that more than one in eight adults has a hard time staying away from the Internet for more than a few days at a time. And one in 11 tries to hide his or her online habit…

The survey, conducted over the phone, found that nearly 70 percent of respondents were regular Internet users and 14 percent found it hard to stay offline for several days at a time…

According to the research, the typical Internet-addicted user is a single, college-educated, white male in his 30s who spends approximately 30 hours a week on nonessential computer use. [Link]

Minutes later the thirty-something Ennis sent out an earnest email indicating that he would not be logging on to SM for the rest of the day and asked us all to look after his post. In retrospect I realize that I should have followed the example of Kim Jong Il and kept a lid on such information. Too much knowledge decreases worker productivity. I realize also that this article might make some readers a bit anxious and reflective. Please don’t reflect. I assure you that SM falls under the essential use category.

Thanks to a couple of tipsters I also wanted to point you all to a relatively new website. CNET has a review:

That one raised eyebrow makes her an intimidating desi woman. I like it a lot.

Talk about an interactive search engine. A new search site called Ms. Dewey features a sultry woman who makes wisecracks related to the keywords that are typed in. The search results appear as a long, scrolling list in a window that pops up on the upper right.

Set against a futuristic cityscape background, Ms. Dewey–with her hair pulled back–probably represents a digital-age librarian. Her name refers to the Dewey Decimal classification system used for cataloging books in libraries.

Her quips relating to keywords range from mundane and silly to provocative. For instance, during a search for “George Bush” she mentioned how easy it was to make jokes about the president. For a search for “sex” she picked up a yellow ergonomic exercise ball and said “Safety first, and make sure you get it on film…” [Link]

So what does the first article about internet addiction have to do with the sultry Ms. Dewey? Isn’t it obvious? I’ve been reading the many neuroses laid bare on that other thread and I thought I’d offer my wise perspective on dating desi. I know that in reality nothing works. Why bother? Instead, I have found comfort in the arms of Ms. Dewey. She is the strong, beautiful, witty, articulate (sometimes verbose), and smarter-than-me desi woman I’ve been searching for my whole life. If any of you fools linger too long on her site I will hurt you. Continue reading →

Oh, What’s The Diff?

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Terrific op-ed in yesterday’s New York Times by Jeff Stein, national security editor of Congressional Quarterly. He’s been conducting a little experiment…

FOR the past several months, I’ve been wrapping up lengthy interviews with Washington counterterrorism officials with a fundamental question: “Do you know the difference between a Sunni and a Shiite?”

A “gotcha” question? Perhaps. But if knowing your enemy is the most basic rule of war, I don’t think it’s out of bounds. And as I quickly explain to my subjects, I’m not looking for theological explanations, just the basics: Who’s on what side today, and what does each want?

Here are some of the answers:

A few weeks ago, I took the F.B.I.’s temperature again. At the end of a long interview, I asked Willie Hulon, chief of the bureau’s new national security branch, whether he thought that it was important for a man in his position to know the difference between Sunnis and Shiites. “Yes, sure, it’s right to know the difference,” he said. “It’s important to know who your targets are.”

That was a big advance over 2005. So next I asked him if he could tell me the difference. He was flummoxed. “The basics goes back to their beliefs and who they were following,” he said. “And the conflicts between the Sunnis and the Shia and the difference between who they were following.”

A member of the House intelligence committee:

Mr. Everett responded with a low chuckle. He thought for a moment: “One’s in one location, another’s in another location. No, to be honest with you, I don’t know. I thought it was differences in their religion, different families or something.”

Another committee member:

“Do I?” she asked me. A look of concentration came over her face. “You know, I should.” She took a stab at it: “It’s a difference in their fundamental religious beliefs. The Sunni are more radical than the Shia. Or vice versa. But I think it’s the Sunnis who’re more radical than the Shia.”

Now we’re not talking theology. Stein’s asking his repondents who’s who right now. Do they know that Hezbollah is Shiite? That Osama bin Laden is Sunni? Stein says that some of his interviewees are able to answer these questions easily. But all too many, he says, “don’t have a clue.”

“How can they do their job,” Stein asks, “without knowing the basics?” Continue reading →