Category Archives: Humor

Submit Your Entries to SM’s Valentine’s Day Haiku-Writing Contest!

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sepiamutiny - v-day.jpg

I absolutely adore Valentine’s Day. Loads of chocolate and the proliferation of red and pink to brighten up the dreary winter days – what could be better? Being the shameless romantic that I am, I decided to put pen to paper and come up with a love poem to post on the valentines I was mailing out. Here’s a few I came up with…

Your biodata sweetheart/ makes my heart beat fast/ Calling mother now.

I love you more than/ Gulab jamens and ladoos/ Not that I eat sweets.

Ah, that I could run/ Fingers along your sari/ Too much Bollywood.

Be my Shah Rukh Khan/ And I promise that when your/ Dancing stops, I won’t. Continue reading →

For Those of Us with Beard-envy

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Beardhead!

I don’t know about you, but I’m really pumped about 2011. There are so many things which sucked about 2010, I commenced this year wanting, nay, NEEDING change. Like millions of others, I made resolutions– in fact, I probably made more of those than I ever have, before. But they are secondary to gut feelings, intentions and the power of inspiration. Instead of resolving to work out every day until my body looks like it did when I played indoor soccer four days a week, I’m looking at my friend GD who beasts through frigid weather to run, no matter what (and he eats cleanly, too!). Let me make this hyper-relevant to the SM crew. It’s no secret that despite my ancient history with mutineer Vinod (KIDDING! You all wish!), Ennis is probably my favorite mutineer, evar. I’m not talking about his blogging skills though– I’m lucky enough to know him in real life, as a good friend.

Ennis is thoughtful, patient and occasionally funny enough that I laugh until I cry. Point is, he can be hilarious. He can also be sweet and kind, the best, most loyal, encouraging sort of friend, the person who texts you reassurance and silliness one day and a quiet, virtual hug the next, when it’s your Dad’s death anniversary.

So why am I making Ennis blush right now? Believe it or not, I have a point! I have figured out the power behind Ennis’ awesomeness. You’re going to love this epiphany.

Ready? Continue reading →

Is It The Desi Dougie?

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Is The Dougie a Desi dance move? This is the type the hard hitting questions asked only here at Sepia Mutiny. Evidence one, Brown people in kurtas & salwars dancing The Dougie.

If you haven’t heard this song yet, you’ve been living under a rock. Teach Me How to Dougie is the Macarana for the teens in 2010. Written by the Cali Swag District, it’s been high on the Punjabi remix and I’m sure on the playlist of every Bhangra Holiday Dance Party this season. Still skeptical of the Desi origin of The Dougie dance? Just watch the following video, evidence two. So hard to dispute…

So when’s the DJ Rekha remix of the song gonna come out? And who’s going to teach me how to Dougie? And more importantly, who’s gonna teach Abhi how to Dougie? Continue reading →

Caption Contest: I Was Going To Make A Sari Pun, But My Better Self Rose Up And Prevented Me

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Longest-ever post title? I dunno, friends. So, you may have heard a teensy weensy leetle bit about the Indian ambassador to the U.S. getting singled out for some TSA TLC because she was wearing “the traditional Indian garment.” If you didn’t, read Pavani. I’m not here to comment on the Mississippi Masala. (Oh, come on, no one’s said that one yet and my better self gets tired sometimes.)

Anyway, I’m here for THIS:

alg_clinton_meera.jpg Look at it. Blink. Yes, it’s really there: THAT is the photo the NY Daily News used to illustrate their sari patdown story. I don’t know which is better–the expression on Hillary Clinton’s face or the expression on Meera Shankar’s. Either way, it made me laugh out loud. Well spotted, Vivekster. And well chosen, NY Daily News photo editor.

Caption contest time! “Surely you can think of some puns yourself,” you say? I want yours. And don’t call me Shirley. Continue reading →

Team Coco in India

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Outsourced should take a page out of this Conan O’Brien promo – this is how you do a gora guy in India and make it funny. And charming. But of course they won’t. Outsourced is an NBC show and NBC pathetically fired Conan off of The Tonight Show early this year after a meager 7 month run.

I think the promo is witty and gorgeous. I’ve been trying to find out who and where it was made, but came up empty. I did find the following.

Amex has been trying to lure Mr. O’Brien into appearing in a commercial since the company sponsored his comedy tour earlier this year. Several weeks ago, Mr. O’Brien said he was finally convinced by a funny script created by WPP PLC’s Ogilvy & Mather, as well as American Express’s past ads.

Playing on Mr. O’Brien’s obsession for detail, the new ad shows the comedian taking a trip to India to search for the finest materials to make curtains for his new show. Mr. O’Brien is seen using a loom to weave the fabric; stomping on flower petals to make the dye and having a gossip session with the local washing ladies as he dyes the material.

A person familiar with the matter said AmEx paid Mr. O’Brien more than $1 million to do the commercial. [wsj]

Conan is making his return to television, only this time it’s on TBS at the 11pm time slot. The show is called, “Conan” and his return begins tonight, November 8th. Continue reading →

Let’s Help Juan Williams Identify More “Muslim Garb”…

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Hi, my name is Anna, often spelled “A N N A”. You might remember me from my past roles as “Mutineer # 3”, “Only Vagina in the Bunker”, “Over-dressed-brown-girl-at-Bhangra-Blowout”, “The abnormal, Vegetarian Mallu” and “Token”.

These days, I am consumed with my nifty new job as a reporter with D.C. NPR-affiliate, WAMU, 88.5 FM, where I write and curate the DCentric blog. Precisely because of my dream job, I have received emails from some of you asking me to opine about Juan Williams, who was recently let go from NPR because of comments he made on FOX’s “The O’Reilly Factor” about Muslim people and their garb freaking him out. To those readers who have reached out to me, I would like to say two things:

1) Aw, thanks! I’m flattered you care what I think…

2) ARE YOU INSANE? If I get fired, I ain’t gettin’ $2 Million from FOX.

Instead of wading in to this controversy, I will point you towards this HILARIOUS Tumblr called, “Pictures of Muslims Wearing Things”. And if you insist on a Desi connection, check this out:

This unfortunate Muslim is wearing Ed Hardy. He is called Salman Khan.

Salman.jpg

I will also add that this wasn’t the first time NPR had issues with Juan (he did, after all, call the First Lady “Stokely Carmichael in a designer dress“). Hey…is it just me, or does Juan Williams seem really preoccupied with what people wear… Continue reading →

Humor is Not A Foreign Country

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On Thursday, of all days, I called customer service. A man picked up. He spoke to me in what seemed like South Asian-accented English, but as usual, I didn’t ask him where he was, even when he said my name almost flawlessly. I generally don’t ask customer service representatives where they are. Sometimes it’s because I think that question would put them on the defensive; sometimes it’s just because I’m in a rush. On Thursday, I was in a rush. Why would I want to connect with another human? I’m BUSY. Um, right. What Vivek might call Badmoodistan. But even though I was Unfriendlyananthan, he was not. And he was the first customer-service representative I’ve ever spoken to who asked me where I was from.

HIM: Are you from Tamil Nadu? [notable tone of excitement]

ME: [taken aback by unwarranted kindness] No, my parents are Sri Lankan. Where are you?

HIM: I’m in Mumbai, but I’m from the South.

ME: Oh!

HIM: Well, madam, except for your accent, anyone would say you are an Indian.

ME: [laughs] Yeah, I was born in America.

And then: Lucky girl! he said. And suddenly, I was not in Badmoodistan any more.

I know that he’s right–I am a lucky girl. But America! America! Sometimes you have crappy sitcoms. Continue reading →

Bhai, Bhai, Bhai

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I finally got to see Hari Kondabolu perform a couple of weeks ago when Laughter Against the Machine brought him through Oakland. It was my first time watching him live, and I couldn’t help but notice how even though our table of brown folks was laughing hysterically, there were definitely a few jokes on our racist society where the white folks in the room were squirming uncomfortably. He took it there, and then some.

Since I can’t take you there, I’m going to take you here.

In this clip, Hari and his brother Ashok i.e. Dapwell (“Dap” of Das Racist) do a read outloud of the infamous Joel Stein article “My Own Private India” (can we call it “Stein-gate”?). We had quite an active week when that article came out (Anna’s response here) and though Kalpen Modi’s article in the Huffington Post my favorite response, The Kondabolu’s response comes in a close second. The Untitled Kondabolu Brothers Project, which is basically what you get when these two hit the stage together, perform in NYC about once a month.

We’ve been doing our show for a little over a year now. It’s a loosely structured talk show. I need structure, but Ashok doesn’t like that so much, so we have set pieces with jokes I’ve written but enough room for him to go off on tangents. Watching Ashok roam is the spectacle. Whether it’s funny or not, it’s always interesting….People seem to love the dynamic between two brothers arguing and discussing pretty much anything in the World. The show is very natural to us and it really ends up being a conversation we could have anywhere. [mtviggy]

If your in NYC, check their next set of antics on September 15th at 7:30 pm at The Tank (354 West 45th Street). I’m sure you’ll laugh. 99%. Continue reading →