Bacon + Indian Food = Epic Meal Time

I want all of this. Bacon. *drools

More on Epic Meal Time.

“In this day and age, I feel like there’s a big emphasis on organic foods or a lot of negative media in regards to obesity and stuff like that,” Morenstein said. “We are there eating this, and [viewers] are eating vicariously through us.”

In each weekly episode, they set out to prepare and eat what they call epic food; the “world’s greatest sandwich,” for instance, made from nine bacon slices, three hot dogs, chips, cheese, gravy, a dozen eggs and maple syrup, all on a large french baguette.

These guys are my brothers in artery-clogging goodness. I will eat vicariously with you. No organic bacon, please. I want the real stuff. Continue reading

Kondabolu on the Comic Quota

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Hari Kondabolu – The Belt Game
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The Economist blog More Intelligent Life has an interview with comedian Hari Kondabolu, who was most recently featured on Sepia Mutiny right before his TV special on Comedy Central (see above for a show clip). After questions about his approach, performing and club audiences, the interviewer asks him about a “comic quota” applying to desi comics and being compared to Aziz Ansari.

Some black American comedians have joked that in American pop culture, there’s only room for one black comic at a time. You’ve joked about being upset with Aziz Ansari comparisons. Does the same comic quota apply to Indian-American comedians?

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Judging Kaling’s Cover

kaling.cover.jpg Yesterday I was going to change up my commute to pass by a bookstore, so that I could check out Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) by Mindy Kaling. Tweeps and blogs like SNL, Vulture, Splitsider and ShelfLife were agog over the cuteness of her floral, pink-sweatered, wry-mouthed book cover. Given her writing background and popularity as a tweeter, I imagined that physically flipping through a copy would offer some kind of quirky comedy contact high. Continue reading

Two White Girls Become Cunning Linguists via Google Translate

I can’t say I’m always the most confident Urdu speaker. When my mother’s younger siblings came from Pakistan a few years ago,with a slew of adorable baby cousins (okay, it was three), I was happy to once again immerse myself in the language. But nowadays it’s rare that I have the chance to practice Urdu, which is why this video made me giggle. Two girls decide they want to order Indian food — but in Hindi. So of course they turn to the Interwebs for help. Because on the Internet, nobody knows you’re brown. Using Google Translate, they successfully order themselves some takeout. I like the part at the end where the dude on the phone is like, “Will there be anything else?” And the girls just keep “saying” the address instead.

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Next stop: Hi-dehr-a-where?

In December, I was in Delhi’s brand new Terminal 3, waiting with my mother for a flight to Chennai. The terminal itself is pretty consistent with most such new constructions in India – one enters and is immediately transported to Anywhere, Cosmopolitania – shiny floors, ginormous ads for stylish bathroom fixtures, and food courts featuring the generic and exotic (Subway and dosas, respectively).

Eventually we made our way to the gate, where we listened to the departure announcements.

Friends, it was hilarious.

First, an automated voice would make an announcement in English butchering the pronunciation of the destination city (presumably for the phoreign ear). A few seconds later, the announcement in Hindi would pronounce the city name perfectly.

Here’s Chennai:

Guwahati via Bagdodra:

Khajuraho via Varanasi:

Srinagar via Jammu:

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Oh Dear, that’s Just not Cricket…

This week we learned that the International Cricket Council (ICC) is nepotistic (GASP!)

The World Cup final is to be played on April 2 in Mumbai, whose Wankhede Stadium has a capacity of 33,000 seats. Of these, only 4,000 have been allocated for sale to the public. The remaining tickets, a whopping 27,000, are reserved for the ICC and the Mumbai Cricket Club’s associate members (ESPNCricInfo).

Not only that, but when fans tried to buy tickets online, the whole system crashed from the number of people trying to make purchases.

The most prominent errors took place on Monday afternoon when the servers of Kyazoonga.com, the ICC’s official ticketing partners, were overwhelmed with the load as the site went ‘live’ with sales for the final and semi-finals at 1pm India time. The website received close to ten million hits in a matter of minutes – half a million at any given moment – many of those people refreshing the site. It would have needed, a Kyazoonga staffer said, a server farm the “size of a football field” to keep up with that kind of demand. The site crashed by 1.05pm and the few people who had got into the system and begun purchasing their tickets found their plans hanging somewhere in cyberspace.

The website went online again around 9.30pm IST with a statement that no tickets for the finals & semi-finals had been sold on Monday due to the system issues and that updates about the ticket sales would follow. So, all the tickets allocated for online sales will still be available once the Kyazoonga network teams in India, Europe and the United States get their servers up and running again. Kyazoonga were not willing to reveal an approximate time when that was expected to happen.

Epic Fail. Oh well, it’s better on TV anyway, right? Even if you’ve traveled from South Africa to see it live? Um, yeah.

The only remotely exciting match of the tournament so far was the most recent one, between Bangladesh and Ireland. It shouldn’t have been close, but the side that scored 283 against India in Dhaka last week was nowhere to be found. Instead, Bangladesh were bowled out for a paltry 205, and just managed to make sure Ireland didn’t catch them. Scorecard

This weekend should be more promising: On Saturday, Pakistan and Sri Lanka play in Colombo, and England takes on India in Bangalore.

And in case you’re still not sure what this game is all about, have a whack here. Stick out the first half-minute. You’ll be glad you did.

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A cautionary tail

Best opening to a New York Times article in recent memory:

HILLSBORO, Ore. — Like many these days, Shiva sits around too much, eating rich, fatty foods and sipping sugary drinks. He has the pot belly to prove it, one that nearly touches the floor — when he’s on all fours, that is. [Link]

They should hold an essay or short story contest for NYTimes readers that continues this story. Or, our readers can in the comments.

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That Shameless Yoni Nonsense

It’s that time of the year again, and this year the delightful Micropixie has released a charming promo clip. I’ve included the translation below for those that may need a little bit of help.

“Mooni! Hey Mooni! Gadherini! Do you know I’m going to hit you? I’m going to beat you up, dirty girl! Every time I’m calling you and you’re not answering the phone!

And what is this “micro-bicro-bixie-dixie”?! You went San Francisco, you went to cut off my nose in San Francisco?! Don’t you know in San Francisco they have all those gadherini lesbian girls? What is all this lesbian stuff you’re doing, this Yoni Ki Baat “yon-ki-baat”, what is all that? Shameless girl, don’t you have any shame? [ASIDE TO HER HUSBAND: Hey Kaka, you see that girl she's going to cut off my nose did you hear this girl? She's opening (her legs)...]. Tell me, you’re not standing on stage with all your clothes taken off are you? Hai, hai! Who on earth will marry you? Who’s going to wed you?! How can you talk this nonsense?! This vageena, vageena-talking about your yoni ki baat gadherini? Hei?! You’re going to stop all this micro-bicro-pixie type stuff! Who will want to marry you? Which boy will marry you? Don’t you have any shame talking about all this dirty, disgusting stuff? As if one could ever talk about these things! Disgusting girl! When we were little we never spoke about this thing. What is this vageena talking-talking all the time? As if a vageena can even say anything, you brainless girl! As if, when you go and piss, you can talk with it! Don’t do all these things! Don’t you cut off my nose! Do you hear me?! Or I’ll give you one big whack. And make sure you phone your aunty soon… shameless girl!” [youtube]

The show was started by the South Asian Sisters here in San Francisco in an effort to bring a South Asian version of the Vagina Monologues to the scene. In it’s seventh season, Yoni Ki Baat has been replicated in cities all across the nation. I had the chance to check out the show in Los Angeles, but am looking forward to the show in San Francisco on March 5th and 6th. If you are in the area, I highly suggest you check out the show – but buy your tickets now, the show sells out every year.

Are any of you planning on being at the show? If so, maybe we can plan a Sepia Mutiny San Francisco meetup before the show…? Do let me know in the comments! Continue reading

Happy Valentine’s Day, Mutineers!

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A heartfelt thank you to everyone who entered our Valentine’s Day Haiku-Writing Contest. We received a number of fun, creative entries. But the judging itself wasn’t too difficult. We turned to our sweet tooth for the answer. Congrats to Mutineer Richa, who sent us this titillating gem.

You are sweeter than/ Gulab jamun or laddoo/ Give me just a taste

Once we picked a winner, we quickly put Rajini the monkey to work on a special design to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Okay, actually, Kunjan crafted a heart-shaped gulab jamun and snapped a quick pic. Thanks to Kunjan for his V-Day efforts. Happy Valentine’s Day, mutineers! You can check out a larger version of the graphic below the jump. Continue reading