Category Archives: TV

Small hands are cute

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It has been a while since we’ve received any Badmash in our inboxes. That’s because the Badmash crew has gone on a semi-permanent hiatus (as each of them moves on to other endeavours). Two Sundays ago anyone watching King of the Hill may have noticed that the lead writing credit for the episode went to former Badmash-er Sanjay Shah. The plot involved Hank Hill as the protagonist hooligan in a Grand Theft Auto-style shoot-em-up game called Pro Pain. Only fans of the show (living in Texas this is required viewing) will get why the title of the video game is so funny.

Badmash, however, isn’t the only example of a periodic desi comic strip. Readers of India Currents might also be familiar with a strip titled Small Hands, inked by Bay Area artist Nidhi Chanani. Here is an example of her cute strip:

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Cricket: Reebok Hearts Dravid and Dhoni

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What, you thought I was a fair-weather cricket pupil? 😉

Mutineer Sandeep sent in this tip after having one of those, “Hey. What the-? Brown??” -moments in front of his television:

Saw this commercial while watching NBC primetime TV, and thought I recognized that typical Dravid earnestness saying “actually, it’s 229 million…”. was kind of surprised when I paused and found desi cricket ishtars Rahul Dravid and Mahendra Singh Dhoni part of reebok’s new ad campaign…

As for other notables in the ad:

Stevie Williams rides his skateboard. Cricket players MS Dhoni and Rahul Dravid run together. Soccer player Thierry Henry and actress Emmanuelle Chriqui are paired. Tennis player Nicole Vaidišová is on the cell phone. Football players DeAngelo Hall and Chad Johnson run together. Track athlete (heptathlon) Carolina Klüft runs in yellow. Basketball player Allen Iverson and football player Vince Young run together. Track athlete Aries Merritt runs across a skywalk. [splendAd]

Finally, something about Reebok to appreciate. 😀 Continue reading →

Clinton Endorses Malakar?

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Hilly.jpg

In further American Idol Idiocy news, Senator Bharat Obama isn’t the only Democratic Presidential contender being linked to our papaya Sanjaya! I am telling you, I can’t make up shit this good:

During a radio call-in on WOKQ-FM, Sen. Hillary Clinton was asked what the United States can do about Malakar, the Fox television show’s underdog candidate who critics say lacks any shred of talent.
“That’s the best question I’ve been asked in a long time,” Clinton said. “Well, you know, people can vote for whomever they want. That’s true in my election, and it’s true on ‘American Idol.’ “ [linkaya]

That’s right, America.

YOU ARE FREE TO VOTE FOR OUR PAPAYA!

In unrelated idiocy, it seems the utterly uncalled-for, haterade-fueled hunger strike against our cutie-patootie wasn’t pathetic enough; someone has exiled themselves to the roof of a car dealership, to protest Sanjaya’s winning streak:

The producer of “Chio In The Morning” on WRDW-FM in Philadelphia has been living in a little tent on top of the roof of a local Toyota dealership for the last week.
He’s battled rain and wind — but swears he won’t leave while Sanjaya remains on “Idol.” [linkaya]

No matter where you stand on Papaya, can we all just send Sanjaya Malakar a rousing chorus of “THANKS, FOR THE MEMORIES”? You must admit, this is ridiculously entertaining.

More power to you SM. And I’m not just saying that because you have bomb initials. 😉 Continue reading →

Sanjaya is MY Papaya.

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Last week (or the week before it, perhaps?) when American Idol’s cameras panned across the audience, I saw a “fanjaya” holding a sign which proclaimed: “Sanjaya is my Papaya”. Love it. It’s delightfully absurd, innit?

Last night, our half-brown wonder achieved what I thought impossible– positive reviews from three judges who are now extra cautious about everything they say, lest they offend young master Malakar’s ardent base of 12-year old girls and grandmothers, since doing so would only mobilize a GOTV effort that the Democrats probably have wet dreams about…and if they don’t, they should.

My papaya (what’s hilarious is I HATE PAPAYAS) crooned “Besame Mucho” and he did it rather well [Thanks, Murad], though I for one could’ve done without his attempts at growing facial hair. But Jennifer Lopez kinda predicted his success, didn’t she? She seemed slightly smitten with our kitten. Speaking of, does anyone remember when J. Lo’s hair and lips were distinctly darker and redder than her extremely bronze skin? No? Just me? Damn. Anyroad, I’d love to tell you what happens to the call centers’ choice, but I remember what it was like to live on the left coast and be salty about such things, so I’ll refrain from dropping spoiler bombs on y’all. 😉 Continue reading →

Mega Malakar Mania– yours for $9.95

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Since a few of you mutineers adore the artfully tressed, usually well-dressed, remarkably unstressed SANJAYA, perhaps one of you would like to create an online shrine in his honor? The perfect domain is still available (but act soon!). Via UberDesi and eBay:

Do you love Sanjaya Malakar from American Idol?? In almost every broadcast Ryan say’s “Malakar Mania” and NOW YOU CAN OWN IT on the WEB!
This URL / Domain name is guaranteed to get 1000’s of hits!
This Domain name / URL has been appraised at over $2,500 due to the popularity of Sanjaya, thanks to Howard Stern and the craze called American Idol!
Bidding starts at ONLY $9.95

Have at it– and don’t say we didn’t get you anything for Christmas/Channukah/Diwali/Eid/Nowruz/Onam. 😉 Continue reading →

Amateur! I scorn your weakness.

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Starvation for Sanjaya: 16 Days Later

Going on a hunger strike because you didn’t like Sanjaya Malakar was asinine. Way to make America look even lamer with your priorities there. No, don’t fret about the homeless, the environment or I don’t know, THE WAR. Worry your empty head about a child on AMERICAN IDOL. My contempt runneth over.

P.S. Regarding those whom you “thanked” for starving with you on this pathetic crusade: I cannot believe that there were others who were mentally impaired enough to join you in this foolish campaign against a contestant on reality television. I wish a lack of reproductive success upon the lot of you, so that your alleles won’t create defective little humans who would grow up to pull similarly inane stunts, lest they annoy MY descendants, who, if anything, will be even MEANER and less patient than I am.

P.P.S. Shlok, thanks for the tip.

P.P.P.S. Sanjaya Zindabad!!!! For no other reason than to irk everyone I cursed above. As our favorite teens Hetal and Kapila would eloquently say, FEEL R BROWN WRATH, HATERZZZZ. Continue reading →

Just Say NO to Faux.

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Sanjaya. No.

Sanjaya-kutta,

Why?

You make it so hard to cheer you on, when you do ugly things with your pretty, pretty tresses. It’s just not okay. At all. Don’t you care about the greater desi community? How will THEY be affected by your reckless decision to have bad hair? You represent our hopes and assimilative aspirations– be careful out there. We’re counting on you and if you fail, we will never forgive you. Ever. Unless you go to medical school.

Sanjaya Malakar performed “Bath Water.” Randy Jackson said “Listen, the hairdo is definitely interesting. I like the kind of Mohawk look.” Paula Abdul said “To watch it on stage and not go for it, it’s kind of like we’re going ah, come on.“ Simon Cowell said “I presume there was no mirror in your dressing room tonight.” Sanjaya replied “You’re just jealous that you couldn’t pull it off.” Simon said “I couldn’t I agree. Sanjaya, I don’t think it matters anymore what we say, actually. I genuinely don’t. I think you are in your own universe and if people like you, good luck.” [linkosity]

Still, I wish you only the best– I just do so with my eyes closed, until someone tells me it’s safe to open them again.

Sanjaya zindabad,

A K K A Continue reading →

Bringing Balance to the Force

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There is much in my life that the Holy Trilogy has taught me. I refer of course to Star Wars (the original, not the unwatchable prequels). As I make my way through this long and often chaotic journey, I know that I can always refer back to it for understanding and comfort in the face of confusion. Of course, as Joseph Campbell pointed out, Star Wars was really just a vehicle for the re-telling of the story of the Hero With a Thousand Faces:

A hero ventures forth from the world of common day into a region of supernatural wonder: fabulous forces are there encountered and a decisive victory is won: the hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow man. [Link]

The original Star Wars Trilogy featured Luke Skywalker as the Hero. The prequels featured Anakin/Darth Vader as an anti-hero. All this introduction brings me to the story of Sanjaya Malakar, the 17-year-old singer on American Idol. He is the one. The chosen one that will bring a balance to the force. The light must be completely extinguished and the darkness he represents must reign over us all, before the world can rise up and purge that which he represents once again.

Now, before I continue with my analysis I must state, again, that I don’t watch American Idol. It comes on at the same time as Pussycat Dolls Presents: The Search for the Next Doll, which I watch instead. I wish American Idol contestants were “hot like” the Dolls, but they just aren’t so it is an easy choice. I’m shallow like that.

Some xenophobic theories on the internet claim that the reason Sanjaya is winning is because all the call center workers from India are calling in and voting for him. As if they have nothing better to do (like ummmm…take incoming customer complaints through the night). Such racist filth masquerading as one man’s “theory” undermines what is really happening here. Likewise, pictures such as the one below, although they do make the proper Star Wars connection, miss the mark by thinking of Sanjaya as merely a Sith and not the Sith Lord:

Sanjaya Maul

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Comparing “Heroes” to “Midnight’s Children”

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While we’re on the subject of television, am I the first person to think of shows like Lost and Heroes as the television equivalent of “magic realism” in the novel? These shows have elements of science fiction and fantasy, but remain grounded in realistic narration, human relationships, and a world that more or less resembles our own (with certain quiet variations). As a result, they can achieve mainstream respectability and broad popularity, while true Sci-Fi remains somewhat of a smaller, niche market — the “outer space” of basic cable, if you will.

This is going to sound blasphemous, but Heroes in particular actually reminds me a little of Midnight’s Children in some ways. Remember this delightful passage from Rushdie’s novel:

From Kerala, a boy who had the ability of stepping into mirrors and re-emerging through any surface in the land–through lakes, and (with greater difficulty), the polished bodies of automobiles . . . and a Goanese girl with the gift of multiplying fish . . . and children with powers of transformation: a werewolf from the Nilgiri hills, and from the great watershed of the Vindhvas, a boy who could increase or reduce his size at will, and had already (mischievously) been the cause of wild panic and rumors of the return of Giants . . . from Kashmir, there was a blue-eyed child of whose sex I was never certain, since by immersing herself in water he (or she) could alter it as she (or he) pleased. Some of us called this child Narada, others Markandaya, depending on which old fairy story of sexual change we had heard . . . near Jalna in the heart of the parched Deccan I found a water-divining youth, and at Budge-Budge outside of Calcutta a sharp-tongued girl whose words already had the power of inflicting physical wounds, so that after a few adults had found themselves bleeding freely as a result from some barb flung casually from her lips, they decided to lock her up in a bamboo cage and float her off down the Ganges to the Sunderbans jungles (which are the rightful home of monsters and phantasms); but nobody dared approach her, and she moved through the town surrounded by a vacuum of fear; nobody had the courage to deny her food. There was a boy who could eat metal and a girl whose fingers were so green that she could grow prize aubergines in the Thar desert; and more and more…

Ah, Rushdie: the old passages don’t disappoint. Of course, the different magical powers don’t map precisely to the characters in Heroes, but there are certain overlaps:

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