Remember when much of the coverage of last year’s tsunami focused on the Victoria Secret’s model caught up in the waves rather than the 200,000 dead? And the ToI story which said the real tragedy of the Bombay cloudburst was that customers couldn’t get their ToI?

The Indo-Asian News Service throws its hat into the ring of vacuousness. Remember that in inverted pyramid style, the most salient fact comes first in the headline and lede. So here’s the most important fact about the destruction of New Orleans and the Louisiana, Missouri and Alabama coasts as reported by IANS and quoted in Abhi’s post:

Hurricane Katrina leaves US Congressman man Jindal homeless [Link]

You can contribute to the Red Cross relief effort here. Previous posts: one, two

Continue reading →

Raju Sharma, a money changer in New Delhi, left his office around half-past eight last night carrying a bag filled with around Rs. 14 lakhs. On his way to the car, interception!

four young men on two motorcycles intercepted him and tried to snatch the bag. At this, Mr. Sharma put a stiff resistance and raised an alarm. [linky]

I “put a stiff resistance” whenever I’m approached by four young men, too. 😉

No heroes in all of ND?

However, since one of the robbers was brandishing a revolver, no one came forward. Though he fought with the robbers for about 10 minutes, in the end the culprits managed to snatch the bag as he lost hold of it on being hit on the head with the butt of the revolver.[linky]

That’s gonna leave a mark.

Subsequently, the culprits fled from the spot. Mr. Sharma in the meantime continued to cry for help, which caught the attention of a policeman who was passing by. The duo then gave a chase to the robbers in an auto-rickshaw.[linky]

Continue reading →

Michael H. of Chocolate and Gold Coins points us towards an interesting little blurb on Ananova about brown weddings; apparently, people in India and people in Amreeka have totally opposite problems. I mean, the last time I was at this popular venue for desi receptions, I was a mere speck among 800 other guests. The Mother of The Groom, a former classmate of my Mom’s, bemoaned the fact that she had to cut people from her invite list…to get it down to 800. Maybe she should’ve thrown her bash in INDIA:

An Indian firm which rents out wedding guests says business is booming.

The Best Guests Centre, at Jodhpur in Rajasthan, is looking to expand across the state.

The company caters for families who fear they will fall short of guests at weddings.

Fake guests can be attired in your choice of either desi or “smart” vestern clothes, they also dance and use the right salad fork. The most crucial bit of preparation is probably the briefing these employees receive on the story behind the wedding, so that they don’t botch the illusion of perfect guest-ness.

Why on earth is this even necessary?

He told The Statesman: “The breaking up of joint families and lack of affection among relatives also creates a demand for paid guests.

“Such families need to hire guests to make up for the fewer number of relatives available for attending the marriage.”

Are you kidding me? Problems getting desis to show up for free food and gossip fodder? This HAS to be a joke. Right? Continue reading →

I hate to be the Celebrity Nazi, but this must not pass unremarked. We’ve noted the hackish tendencies of the Times of India web site before. Check out yesterday’s doozy (via Kush): the ToI’s photo implied that Britney Spears’ first husband was Jason Alexander, the rotund comedian who played George Costanza on Seinfeld.

Of course, the young rake they’re really after is Jason Allen Alexander of ‘I was Britney Spears’ love slave for 55 hours’ infamy.

“I never thought the wedding was a joke. I was serious about everything I said. But being married to Britney Spears was shit…” [Link]

Maybe the ToI should hire some of those call center people who watch American sitcoms all day. No fact-checking for you!

In other news, I was married to Carmen Electra for 55 hours. Uh, that’s Carmen Electra of Oskaloosa, Kansas

Continue reading →

In America, parents threaten truant kids with military school. Or so I learned from an excellent documentary called Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. But in desi America, the Hindustan Times informs me, they threaten them with banishment to dude ranches in the motherland:

The fees are exorbitant compared to regular schools, ranging from… $700 to $6,000 a year for Indian kids. NRIs pay almost double the amount. Some schools demand hefty down payments for admission in addition to the tuition charges… JIRS, constructed over 125 acres at a cost of Rs 72 crore, offers virtually every sports and games facility including cricket, astro-turf hockey fields, football fields, mini golf course, six tennis courts, a roller-skating rink, horse riding and compulsory micro-flight flying lessons…

Indian professionals abroad want their children to benefit from the same educational system that enabled them to compete with the best in world… “I don’t want snooty kids who think they are above the rest. I want them to learn about humanity, Gandhi and non-violence, about learning to create peace and harmony in the world…”

And horse riding, calculus by first grade, and getting beaten with a heavy ruler

Keval, Ankur and Raj are enrolled into the athletic, academic program at JIRS. Their day begins at five thirty in the morning with meditation and yoga and ends at ten in the night with prayers. One of them even told his mother, “We pray so many times through the day, there is hardly time to talk…”

It’s a Hindu madrassa!

Both his children, Sumit Munjal, 15 and Ronika Nirankari, 16 are in residential schools in Deheradoon and Missouri. Pal is very happy with the way his kids are turning out, “away from the bad influence of American classrooms, drugs, obscene clothes and unmanageable independence…” A beaming Pal declares that his daughter plays the harmonium, sings beautiful bhajans and learns Indian classical dance.

I know a few drill sergeant aunties who turn out kids exactly the same way. You can tell because their kids’ twitchy eyes are tapping out an S.O.S. They have a haunted look as if their souls are silently mouthing the words, ‘Get me out of here!’

Continue reading →

Anil Gupta, the producer of Goodness Gracious Me and The Kumars at No 42 and executive producer of The Office and number 5 on the Most Powerful Asian in British Media list is about to come out with an irreverant animated comedy which follows the exploits of three exceptionally naughty girls – Keisha Marie, Natella and Latrina – one maverick headmaster, Iqbal, and a group of desperate, overworked and underpaid teachers. Continue reading →