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Another proud member of the reality-based community |
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‘Just one little drink’ was the last thing he remembered before waking up naked on a Goan beach |
Category Archives: Arts and Entertainment
Desipina’s not Cablinasian
For me, watching Seven.11 was one of the theater highlights of 2005. 
It had the sharpest writing and the funniest set of desi and As-Am in-jokes I’ve seen in ages: custom-fit culture in a railroad apartment. The proprietors have done well for themselves behind the counter, unveiling a bigger show in a bigger theater this year:
This year’s line-up includes a kung-fu hustler, run-away teenagers, convenience store surprise reunions, a futuristic free-for-all for Manhattan, and not one but TWO original pop musicals, one of which leaves you questioning, “Who really did kill Mr. Naidu?”
If you’re anywhere new New York between March 30 and April 16, you have to see the musical farce, last year’s was side-splitting. The show’s creative constraint is a gimmick, but it works:
… Seven.11 Convenience Theatre marks its fourth year with a whole new set of seven plays [of 11 minutes each] all set in a convenience store…
The intense, bald and talented Andrew Guilarte returns from last year’s cast. Looking at the list is like watching a star team shed your favorite players (where have you gone, Joe Debarggio, and Lethia Nall, Kavi Ladnier, Anuvab Pal?). You hope the new faces will once again become sentimental favorites.
Featuring the ever-talented cast of Sturgis Adams, Meetu Chilana, Andrew Guilarte, Sean Krishnan, Stephen Tyrone Williams, John Wu, Alicia Ying
They were completely sold out last year, so buy ahead.
Seven.11 Convenience Theatre (2006), 3/30-4/16/06, Thu-Sat 8 p.m. and Sun 2 p.m.; discussion with cast on Sundays; Kraine Theater, 85 East 4th St., first floor, between Bowery and 3rd Ave., Manhattan; $17 adults, $11 student rush tickets at the door only; buy tickets
Now is the time in Torino when we dance
Check out this video of an Armenian ice dancing couple performing to a Hare Krishna bhajan in Torino (thanks, Masked Tipster). 
I don’t think the Blue One looked quite like this. Nothing says religion to me like than a half-naked dancer hanging upside down off a man’s shoulders flashing mudras 
‘Sex sells,’ said American Jamie Silverstein, 22, referring to itty-bitty costumes… Anastasia Grebenkina of Armenia wore a backless outfit except for a small swath of cloth that covered her bottom. [Link]
For the dance enthusiast, an ice dancing performance is like a five-minute clip of “Strictly Ballroom” – on acid. Incredible holds, tight twizzles and … hydroblading? Hell yes.
For the chick-flick fan, ice dancing is all the drama without the shitty, sub-par dialogue. When Italian pair Barbara Fusar-Poli and Maurizio Margaglio stumbled into a heap of sheer, neon Lycra, they stood on the ice for almost a minute, shooting each other the classic “f– you and your sequined appliqués” look. They didn’t speak for more than 24 hours after. “Beaches,” “Hitch” and “My Best Friend’s Wedding” don’t have a blade to stand on.
And men will find themselves enchanted by the ladies’ bare-it-all, barely there leotards of ice dancing, where salsa meets slutty and strategically placed daisies are the only things preventing Armenian skater Anastasia Grebenkina from landing on the cover of a Frederick’s of Hollywood catalogue. [Link]
Grebenkina and Vazgen Azrojan didn’t medal with this acrobatic routine. But with only four competitors from India, two from Pakistan and one from Nepal, sadly, it actually increased the Olympics’ sepia quotient. Continue reading
Mmmmmmmangoes!
For me, the sweetest fruit of Bush’s bisit to India is that finally, after 17 years of trying, Indian mangoes will soon be available in the US. Thus far, desis in the US have had to settle for Mexican mangoes, which are neither as sweet nor as juicy as what one can get back in the sub-continent.
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Perfection in a golden wrapper |
While India is the largest producer of mangoes (41% of the world produce), and the US is the largest importer (29% of all imports), there was no convergence between the two. The gainer was Mexico which only produces 5 per cent of the world’s mangoes and has 25 per cent of the mango export market. [Link]
The cause of the decades long mango moratorium was a fear of alien invasion, a (legitimate) concern about nasty creepy crawlies that might infest America’s fecund farmlands. This concern has now been allayed via the miracle of modern science – Indian mangoes will be nuked, neutered and neutralized before they are allowed to immigrate:
Preventing Indian mangoes from entering US supermarkets was the strict Sanitary and Phyto-Sanitary (SPS) conditions imposed by the US. Pests like pulp weevil and fruit fly are alien to US conditions. And the US was never confident about India’s capability to make the harvest pest-free… Several meetings later, the clincher was irradiation, the method to be now adopted to make mangoes pest-free. Earlier, it was limited to vapour treatment and quarantine. [Link]
How sweet it is. M-day is roughly 18 months away and I can hardly wait!
Update/Art Advisory: “Disappeared”
A note on the tipline from desi academic extraordinaire Amitava Kumar reminds us of Disappeared in America, an ongoing multimedia project that began by documenting the round-up of immigrants in the post-9/11 hysteria and has now expanded into a web of collaborations among America- and Europe-based artists. Together they are tackling the rise of suspicion and xenophobia in all these countries, the climate of secrecy and fear, the intended and unintended consequences of actions by governments and their foes. (Manish mentioned the project last February here.)
… While our work started in the American context, we have expanded to look at Europe & the Middle East, in recognition that anti-migrant xenophobia, coupled with Islamophobia, is not a new or uniquely American phenomenon.
The collaborative has several new “interventions” in the next couple of months in New York, Houston and San Francisco that Mutineers in those cities might find interesting.
This is also an opportunity to point folks to tipster Amitava’s work. Now a professor at Vassar College, he’s one of those desi polymaths who covers politics, art, culture, discourse, sociology with even analytical poise and great literary verve. He’s also perhaps the most prominent and interesting discussant of matters Bihari on the web. Indeed, if there’s a thematic connection here, it’s that he is actively engaged in un-disappearing Bihar from the collective consciousness, a Sisyphean task that he handles with aplomb.
Recent posts on Amitava’s blog include one featuring photos from the arrival in Bihar of the avian flu; a mock letter from Lalu Yadav, Bihar’s “supremo” (as an Indian newspaper might say) to George Bush; and a joyful announcement of the upcoming U.S. edition of Upamanyu Chatterjee’s comic classic English, August, 18 years after its original publication. Continue reading
Holy hai
The Beeb is running some absolutely gorgeous photos of a major Jain festival which only comes around every 12 years. Jains from all over India and the diaspora gathered in Shravanabelagola, Karnataka for the Mahamastakabhisheka festival. They washed and anointed a 58-foot-high, 1,000-year-old statue of Bahubali with haldi, kumkum and rice flour.
[Bahubali] is considered to be the originator of the concept of ahimsa or non-violence by the Jains, the basic tenet of their religion… he was the first to have attained salvation…
One thousand and eight small metal vessels containing water are placed neatly in the courtyard below the gigantic sculpture, considered divine. At day break, a select group of priests, chanting hymns, arrange the pots in a traditional geometrical pattern. Devotees then lift these vessels and climb up the 600 stairs to the top of the enormous statue… The statue is bathed with unending quantities of milk, sugarcane juice, pastes of saffron, sandal wood, and therapeutic herbal lotions. Powders of coconut, turmeric, saffron, vermilion and sandal wood are then sprayed on the statue. Precious stones, gold, silver, petals and coins are offered in reverence. The spectacular finale to this 10-hour ceremony is a shower of flowers from a helicopter. [Link]
The digambara (nude) form of Bahubali represents the complete victory over earthly desires… [Link]
Perhaps it was to prevent these charismatic scenes of religious ecstasy that the Puritans to the west took a rocket launcher to the Bamiyan Buddhas.
Curry in a bag
Every desi Superbowl party you go to next year will feature these I’m sure. After all, they are both “spicy” and “curried.” What more could we ask for?
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Oh yeah. Break me off some o’ that. |
In an attempt to win the snack food dollars of Canada’s largest ethnic groups and address a desire for stronger flavours, Frito Lay Canada Inc. is launching a new line of Asian-inspired potato chips and snacks.
Bags of wasabi- and spicy-curry-flavoured potato chips will be hitting grocery store shelves in Toronto and Vancouver this month, supported by a targeted marketing campaign in Chinese-language newspapers and television stations…“[In Asia] they have a plethora of different snacking options — nuts, meats, those kind of things are much bigger from an Asian perspective. So the challenge for us was to find the perfect intersection between the flavours and tastes they like and something Western, which is the potato chip…”
In the Greater Toronto Area alone, South Asians annually spend $12.6-billion on retail goods and services and Chinese consumers spend $12.2-billion, according to Prasad Rao, a partner at Rao Barrett and Welsh, a Toronto advertising firm that specializes in multicultural marketing.
“I think the communities will want a lot more,” said Mr. Rao, who added that the tastes of Asians and South Asians have been largely underserved by mainstream food companies. [Link]
Our liberal Canadian neighbors always get to have more fun than us. Will American markets also demand a curry Lays? With so many flavors to choose from why would one remain monogamous?
In April, Frito Lay will launch it’s own version of shrimp chips. The Styrofoam-like morsels, which are often served in Thai restaurants…
Mmmmmm. Styrofoam….
However, I wonder, how will these compare to the snacks from the local Patel Brothers store in Rockville, MD? That’s what my parents shove in front of me whenever I go home.
Hingrish
The LA Weekly journalist who attempted a Rang De Basanti review has apparently never used a film database in his life:
Veteran character actor Atoll Kukri (Chanting Bar) is equally impressive… The students, whose ranks include superstar Aimer Khan (Lagan)… [Link]
As fun as a ‘chanting bar’ sounds, he means Atul Kulkarni (Chandni Bar) and Aamir Khan (Lagaan). But the mistakes aren’t a language thing, they’re a sloppiness thing. He even gets the British lead’s name wrong:
… a group of slackers at Delhi University is hired by a British indie moviemaker (Alice Payton) to portray the heroes of the terrorist phase of the Indian independence movement… [author:] David Chute… [Link]
This quality review was brought to you by the Yeh Le Wickly’s Daoud Choot.
First of all, the key characteristic of terrorism is targeting civilians rather than military or political figures 
— unlike the miscreants in Iraq, Kashmir and Sri Lanka, the events of Indian independence covered in this film hardly qualify. And second, that’s Alice Patten, 25-year-old daughter of Chris Patten, the last British governor-general of Hong Kong:
… her father Chris Patten… had absolutely encouraged her to do the film. He told her it would be a life-affirming [experience]… [Link]Alice first drew world wide attention when she stood sobbing during the ceremonial British handover of Hong Kong… [Link]
… Prince Charles… was “really sweet” when he fixed her a stiff gin as Britannia sailed out of Hong Kong on June 30, 1997… I cannot resist reminding her of the lugubrious final moments of the handover of Hong Kong. The bagpipe droned, the rain poured down, the Patten girls sobbed. “Sssh!” says Alice. While Prince Charles and her father (with the help of a Vick’s inhaler) maintained dignified control and her mother achieved a certain composure, the girls did not. So the cameras focused on them, because their distress seemed best to capture the poignancy of the moment when the Royal yacht – and with it the British Empire – sailed out of Hong Kong harbour and into history. [Link]
Mass literacy can be fun
Dr. Brij Kothari had an idea. Instead of being satisfied with the thought that Bollywood films served their purpose as a cheap and effective way to entertain the masses, why not put them to work so that they could actually be useful. The result of his idea is Planet Read (thanks for the tip Kiran). Kothari describes his venture on Google’s Blog:
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NOW I get it. |
My organization, PlanetRead, works in Mumbai and Pondicherry, India. We have developed a “Same-Language Subtitling” (SLS) methodology, which provides automatic reading practice to individuals who are excluded from the traditional educational system, or whose literacy needs are otherwise not being met. This is an educational program rooted in mass media that demonstrates how a specific literacy intervention can yield outstanding, measurable results, while complementing other formal and non-formal learning initiatives of the government, private sector, and civil society. We are fortunate to have just been selected as a Google Foundation grantee.More than 500 million people in India have access to TV and 40 percent of these viewers have low literacy skills and are poor. Through PlanetRead’s approach, over 200 million early-literates in India are getting weekly reading practice from Same Language Subtitling (SLS) using TV. The cost of SLS? Every U.S. dollar covers regular reading for 10,000 people – for a year.
I hit upon this idea in 1996 through a most ordinary personal experience. While taking a break from dissertation writing at Cornell University, I was watching a Spanish film with friends to improve my Spanish. The Spanish movie had English subtitles, and I remember commenting that I wished it came with Spanish subtitles, if only to help us grasp the Spanish dialogue better. I then thought, ‘And if they just put Hindi subtitles on Bollywood songs in Hindi, India would become literate.’
Awesome. I hate Bollywood flicks but I still found myself going through some of the example clips on Planet Read’s website. Shah Rukh’s lip syncing has never sounded so good. I taught myself to read Hindi a few years back but have mostly forgotten. Watching the clips I could actually remember some of the script. The site also contains folks songs in languages such as Telugu.
Here are some other great examples you can learn along to.
If you want to make a donation to Planet Read you can do so here.
Everyone’s a little bit outsourcist
New documents show Al Qaeda pays Afghanistan recruits in Pakistani rupees, and they break down the salaries (via Daily Show):
Military officials… read a document known as the “al Qaeda employment contract…” It was seized after 9/11 in the home of an al Qaeda operative in Kandahar, Afghanistan…Monthly salaries are spelled out, 6,500 Pakistani rupees… if you’re married, 1,000 rupees… for bachelors. An extra 700 rupees per wife if you have more than one…
Married members get seven days of vacation every three weeks. Bachelors get five vacation days every month… they also get 15 days sick leave a year. [Link]
A draft of al-Qaeda “bylaws” stipulates extra pay of 700 rupees a month for each additional wife as well as 20,000 rupees for married members to buy furniture and free health care. [Link]
The Pakistani rupee currently trades at 60 to the dollar, so it’s apparently cheaper to hire a terrorist than a second-tier software developer. Given the relative skill sets, I guess that shouldn’t surprise me. And bachelors get screwed on pay — I wonder why they’re incentivizing men to get married even though they’re likely to die.
Jon Stewart jokes that the vacations are fantastic, but the pension’s non-existent. Personally I’ll never say any software ‘bombed’ again.