Category Archives: Holidays

Speed kills (part 2)

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When you think about it, there are many ways in which speed dating can go horribly horribly wrong. My favorite account of a speed dating disaster comes from Rupa:

R: So…what do you like to do for fun?
Another boring dude: I play online pokers. And I watch Indian movies.
R: Do you read books?
Abd: No. I hate it when authors, y’know, try to give their OPINION. I hate it when people try and tell me how to think. So I don’t read books.
R: So you just don’t think?
Abd: Yes. [Link]

Bored out of her gourd, Rupa turns … dangerous:

Towards the middle I just stopped asking questions, because I realized I totally, absolutely, fully did not give a shit. And that was when I decided to start making stuff up. I … managed to tell someone that I had a 9-year old son (“My family is extremely supportive”), that I had a gambling problem (“After I took out that third mortgage on my condo, my parents staged an intervention. Have you ever been to that casino in Gary, Indiana? They caught it all on tape”), but my favorite was when Natasha asked someone if he would have a problem with a woman who did drugs.

ABD#3: Just once in a while, right?
N: No…it’s pretty much everyday.
ABD#3: Well…I guess it’s not a problem. But you’d stop after marriage, right?
N: No. Absolutely not. I don’t think so.
ABD#3: Well..I guess that’d be ok. [Link]

So when I stopped laughing my kundi off, I paused to wonder whether or not there was any way speed dating could work. I would think that if you only have a few minutes to make an impression, the usual conversational gambits fall flat since they all depend on being able to talk long enough to get past the obvious (what you do and where you live) to the more interesting.

So, tell us. What worked for you? What didn’t? If you wont fess up to having done this, explain what you might do that you’re sure would work if you tried it. Think of it as a public service. Or public ridicule. Either one, really

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Merry Christmas to All, and to All, “Show Some Pride!”

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3670482_a31914cae1.jpg One of my dearest friends has an Op-Ed in today’s Washington Post (page A29). Nitya, I’d be proud of you even if “Longing to Join in Christmas” hadn’t been published, but now that it has, Akka loves you even more, because obviously, like all good South Asian elders, my affection for you is directly tied to your achievements. 😉 I can’t think of a more perfect post for today (so let me get out of the way):

Christmas is the season when you are most likely to find yourself on a street of beautiful homes with twinkling lights, warm fireplaces and happy families outfitted in festive holiday sweaters, only to be filled with a yearning to possess not just the house but the lifestyle inside.

For my whole Indian American childhood in the early 1980s, I wanted a Christmas tree that way. And it wasn’t for the presents. It was for the lifestyle.

I wanted the Santa Claus, I wanted the holly wreath and I wanted the jolly elves who toiled in a workshop all year long. I wanted the sleigh bell-wearing reindeer on my roof. I wanted the colorful stockings hung by the chimney. And I wanted the jolly fat man to wiggle down our (nonexistent) chimney before he ho-ho-hoed his way across the night sky in a triumphant journey back to the North Pole.

From the warmth of my Hindu home, I always longed for that good old Christian magic — and not a holiday like Christmas but Christmas itself. I wanted to belong to the classroom party hosted by homeroom mothers in Santa hats, to know the words to the holiday songs that everyone knew, to feel the evergreen anticipation that never faded or fell from branches needle by needle.

My immigrant father, who’d recently come to America as a University of California grad student, was a man of little sympathy and extra principle when it came to the wants and woes of my childhood.

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Finally, Indian Christmas carols

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On our News Tab SM reader Pallavi introduces us to the music of “Boymongoose.” They’ll be dropping their album, Christmas in Asia Minor, just in time for the Holidays:

1. Thanking You
2. 12 Days Of Christmas
3. Single Girls
4. Internet Dating (Radio Saffron)
5. Once In Rahul Dravid’s City
6. Oh Therapy
7. No More Brown
8. It Had To Be Said (Radio Saffron)
9. Hark the Herald, Angel Singh
10. The Worst Motel
11. Miss India (Radio Saffron)
12. We Are Wishing You A Merry Christmas
13. Think Of The Children

Here is a video of their version of 12 Days of Christmas. It’s an outstanding 4 minute waste of time (and the animation is solid):

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Scary

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Each Friday NPR’s Morning Edition features a StoryCorp Project interview. You may recall that I had previously blogged about an interview between a Sri Lankan American husband and wife. This morning’s interview featured a really cute story (only ~1 minute long) from a Sri Lankan woman who came to the United States in 1969. I recommend that you guys stop reading this post right now and listen to this clip first. For those of you too lazy to follow my recommendation I will give you the lead in below:

Two friends interview each other in Pittsburgh

When Juliet Jegasothy came to the United States from Sri Lanka, she had already heard many stories about what life was like in America.

“We came to America in 1969, we were just newly married, and we came to Brooklyn, New York.” Jegasothy recently told her friend Sheena Jacob.

“I was so terrified to even open the door, because I had heard all these horror stories about crooks, and gangsters, and guns, in New York.“

Jegasothy soon encountered an American tradition that she was not prepared for… [Link]

I realize that I am jumping the gun and that Halloween isn’t until next Tuesday. However, most of you have probably been invited to some Halloween party this weekend (unlike some grad student I know who will be writing alone in his apartment dressed up like a blogger) and if you are a procrastinating slacker like me you could really use some costume advice STAT! After the jump I will provide you with some last minute ideas.

*WARNING* There is some scary sh*t past this point.

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What in Samhain…

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such bullshit.jpg

Oy, I need to start having the intern go through your submissions. After innocently clicking “original” Sonia’s news tip about a Halloween costume she had seen, I clawed my big Mallu eyes out, AGAIN at all the inappropriateness I found. Owwww. Look for yourself, if you dare. —->

Recently, I mentioned to mutineer SJM that since he’s moving back to DC and I have a costume in mind, we should plan to do something fun for St. Pumpkin’s day, even if all we can come up with is adding to the cluster#^@% which is Georgetown on Halloween. The black and orange holiday is huge around here. Thousands converge on M st, in costumes both quotidian and cunning. This pink outfit merits neither of those words; this is plain annoying. If I see someone wearing the schmata on the right on the same street as my beleaguered, yet beloved Amma’s Vegetarian, I might have to rip off my bamboo earrings (at least two pair), hand Salil my Fendi bag (but keep my bad attitude) and invoke the “Manish Vij-Anti-Exoticism” law of 2005 as I beat a kutthi down.

From the website which sells this…thing:

Adult Hindu Costumes – This Adult Hindu Goddess Costume includes a Hindu Goddess costume satin coined top, wrap skirt, Hindu Goddess costume chiffon drape & coined headpiece. The Hindu Goddess Costume is available in Womens Standard.

I know I don’t have to ask you to correct me if I’m wrong, but when coins are used like that, isn’t it more of a belly dancing thing? Or also likely, a case of mixing up continents? When my little sister and I were young, we learned and performed Greek folk dances in authentic outfits which were lovingly made by all the Grandmothers at our church to resemble classic costumes of Crete, Macedonia, Peloponnesos et al…some of those ensembles had coin headdresses and trim similar to what you see on our…um…Hindu Goddess here. It’s like they weren’t even TRYING to exoticize accurately. Sheesh.

But who cares about that– it’s on sale! Click here and you can save 20% by purchasing your Hindu Goddess Costume now (don’t forget to wear it with the retch-inducing nude pantyhose). For just under $32, you, too, can wear an outfit even Diwali Barbie wouldn’t touch. The best part? My wrath and beat down are FREE, especially if Mr. Walker is my other escort for the night. Continue reading →

Happy Diwali

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In my obliviousness, I almost scheduled a meetup today. [Is it my fault that I celebrated Hanukkah more than Diwali as a kid?] To atone for this earlier oversight, therefore, I bring you the official Diwali greeting from the government of Canada:

“On behalf of Canada’s new government, I would like to extend my warmest greetings and best wishes to members of the Indo-Canadian community as you celebrate Diwali… Every year, this joyous occasion is celebrated by some one billion people of the Hindu, Sikh and Jain faiths around the world. And that includes some one million of our fellow citizens right here in Canada. Friends, as you gather with your loved ones amid a sea of flickering flames, please know that the thoughts of our government are with you. Over the years, the Indo-Canadian community has made a tremendous contribution to our great country. Your work ethic and commitment to family and community serve as an inspiration to all…Happy Diwali to all. Namaste. Sat Sri Akal. Thank you.” [Prime Minister Stephen Harper of Canada]

Why Canada? Well, Ottawa is closer to North Dakota than Washington DC is, but mainly it’s because Google News brought it to my attention, whereas I had to go rooting around for the American counterpart.

Not to be outdone by their neighbors up north, the White House celebrated Diwali with a party for the fourth year running, although Bush was away and so sent a written greeting instead. Here’s a description of the event:

The White House celebrated Diwali, the festival of lights, in the historic Indian Treaty Room in the Old Executive Building for the fourth successive year. More than 150 guests were in attendance, among them many prominent members of the Indian American community. President George W Bush, who was busy campaigning for his besieged Republican Party in Pennsylvania and Virginia, however failed to be there.

Under Secretary for Public Diplomacy Karen Hughes keynoted the event as chief guest, and Jay Hein, Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of the Office of the Faith-Based and Community Initiatives, lit the diya. [Link]

BTW, I’m pretty sure that’s the “Native American treaty room” and not the “Brownz treaty room” but I’ll take what we can get especially since Diwali did not merit an official proclamation unlike “Leif Erikson Day, 2006“, “General Pulaski Memorial Day, 2006“, “Gold Star Mother’s Day, 2006” or “National Character Counts Week, 2006“. But who am I to complain – the White House at least knew when Diwali is!

Related posts: A stamp of approval, White House celebrates Diwali, In Barbie’s Closet

UPDATE:

I realize I may not have been clear enough about this originally. The President was unable to attend Diwali celebrations at the White House in part because he was campaigning for Senator Allen’s re-election bid:

President Bush last week helped raise money in two of the year’s most controversial re-election campaigns, stumping for Republican Rep. Don Sherwood in Pennsylvania and Sen. George Allen in Virginia. [Link]

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Shove your petition up your…

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For the past few years I have dreaded the approach of Diwali. Why? Because my email inbox gets flooded with emails asking me to sign a petition so that we can have a U.S. Postal Stamp commemorating the Hindu holiday. As if a simple postage stamp would rid me of years of pent up post-colonial anger.

To: Citizens Stamp Advisory Committee, c/o Stamp Development, U S Postal Service, Washington, DC

Dear Ronald A Robinson,
Chairman – Citizens Stamp Advisory Committee

We are requesting you to issue a US postal stamp commemorating ” Deepawali”, the ancient and joyous festival of lights celebrated universally by Hindu and several other faiths, reflecting the unity and multi-cultural rich diversity of the people of USA and India.

Freedom of religion is a hallmark of United States of America. The U.S. Postal Service has befittingly honored Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and Eid by issuing commemorative stamps depicting these festivals. According to former President William J Clinton, ” Deepawali” presents all of us with an opportunity to reflect on the many ways, the talent, the history and the traditions of the Indian people who have contributed to our national life and cultural heritage. President George W Bush, this year- even though he was traveling in Asia-, made sure that ” Deepawali” was celebrated in The White House and he sent personal greetings and felicitations to the community on ” Deepawali”… [Link]

Even our own Sajit spread the word in 2004, prior to the formation of the Mutiny. Manish reluctantly followed suit in 2005. Now a crack team of SAJA assembled journalists [led by Arun Venugopal] has finally provided me with the excuse I needed to ignore this stupid petition, guilt free. The whole thing is fake. Continue reading →

Happy Raksha Bandhan!

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Today is Raksha Bandhan (or Rakhi), the Indian holiday where sisters are supposed to tie a bracelet around their brothers rakhi fun.jpgas a symbol of sisterly devotion. The basics of the holiday are at Wikipedia:

The festival is marked by the tying of a rakhi, or holy thread by the sister on the wrist of her brother. The brother in return offers a gift to his sister and vows to look after her. The brother and sister traditionally feed each other sweets.

It is not necessary that the rakhi can be given only to a brother by birth; any male can be “adopted” as a brother by tying a rakhi on the person, whether they are cousins or a good friend. Indian history is replete with women asking for protection, through rakhi, from men who were neither their brothers, nor Hindus themselves. Rani Karnavati of Chittor sent a rakhi to the Mughal Emperor Humayun when she was threatened by Bahadur Shah of Mewar. Humayun abandoned an ongoing military campaign to ride to her rescue. (link)

Though the holiday is strongly associated with Hinduism, in my experience it is somewhat of a secularized, “cultural” holiday both in India and the diaspora, where other religious groups participate. (I’m not sure if it’s absolutely universal — do Indian Christians and Muslims celebrate Rakhi? Is there Rakhi in Bangladesh or Pakistan? Based on this article, the answer to the second question is maybe.) Indeed, these days, it isn’t surprising to see Rakhi designs that contain references to Indian and western superheroes (check out this cool Spiderman Rakhi), alongside the more traditional designs.

In Haryana, a group of women tied Rakhis around trees, as an environmental gesture. (“Her other brother is a tree,” one bystander quipped.) Apparently the best-selling brand of Rakhis (“Laloos”) in the state of Bihar are named after the current Railway Minister, Laloo Prasad Yadav. (“But these Rakhis are only available on the black market!” the same bystander wryly noted.) And Indian PM Manmohan Singh recognized the holiday in a typical fashion. Continue reading →

Queer as a Desi

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In this Pride season, a salute goes out to all the organizations and individuals working for community-building, wellness and recognition of non-heterosexual desis. The queer community is one of the most vibrant sites where today’s culture of the desi diaspora is being developed, just as queer communities, by force or by choice, have blazed new trails for cultures through the ages. And I’m not just talking about better parties and clothes, though I’m certainly grateful for those elements. Over dinner a few nights ago in a group that included four “desi dykes” — one Muslim ABCD sister and her European partner, and a Hindu ABCD sister with her FOB Pakistani partner — I was moved by the way this assembly both reaffirmed and challenged at the same time any number of ideas about the subcontinent and its diaspora.

In a few days the Bay Area group Trikone holds DesiQ: From Visions to Action, a major conference for what the organizers call “the diverse South Asian GBT community and our allies.” The conference will be held on the UCSF campus and has the support of major sponsors like AT&T. The queer Tamil Sri Lankan-American performance artist D’Lo will host the gala on Friday the 23rd. The conferene immediately precedes San Francisco’s Dyke March and SF Pride parade.

The list of workshops to be held at DesiQ offers a powerful picture of the issues at play in the desi queer community. Some workshops are meant to be purely fun, which is great; others look like they will delve into the arcana of queer academic cultural theory, which is an acquired taste but cool for those who dig it. But most illuminating are the workshops with straightforward issue-oriented titles like:

  • Marriage Equality in a South Asian Context: the Debates, the Issues
  • Hidden Voices: The Lives of Queer Muslim South Asians
  • Fuzzy Boundaries: Gender, Sex and Sexuality among South Asians
  • Understanding the Psychological Needs of South Asian GLBT Clientele

The presenters include desi activists, academics, doctors, psychotherapists, artists and others. It looks to be one of the most exciting gatherings of desis around, and anyone who makes it to this and then hops down on Saturday morning to Los Angeles for ArtWallah is sure to emerge drenched in creative and mutinous desitude. The only downside is that you’ll miss a few World Cup games, though I am sure there will be a footie-watching caucus amid the DesiQ participants.

There’s a whole other post to be written on queer and allied desi academics‘ contributions to thinking about the diaspora, and another on queer desis online, but there’s time for that. Just as Black history need not be confined to “Black History Month” in February, the conversation within the community about gender and sexuality need not be confined to the annual Pride season. Still, Pride is about, well, pride, and I’m proud of my sisters and brothers and gender-indeterminate siblings for the growth of their movement(s), their increased visibility, and their contributions to the ongoing desi conversation. Have fun y’all, and enjoy the season! Continue reading →