Category Archives: Arts and Entertainment

Clinton Endorses Malakar?

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Hilly.jpg

In further American Idol Idiocy news, Senator Bharat Obama isn’t the only Democratic Presidential contender being linked to our papaya Sanjaya! I am telling you, I can’t make up shit this good:

During a radio call-in on WOKQ-FM, Sen. Hillary Clinton was asked what the United States can do about Malakar, the Fox television show’s underdog candidate who critics say lacks any shred of talent.
“That’s the best question I’ve been asked in a long time,” Clinton said. “Well, you know, people can vote for whomever they want. That’s true in my election, and it’s true on ‘American Idol.’ “ [linkaya]

That’s right, America.

YOU ARE FREE TO VOTE FOR OUR PAPAYA!

In unrelated idiocy, it seems the utterly uncalled-for, haterade-fueled hunger strike against our cutie-patootie wasn’t pathetic enough; someone has exiled themselves to the roof of a car dealership, to protest Sanjaya’s winning streak:

The producer of “Chio In The Morning” on WRDW-FM in Philadelphia has been living in a little tent on top of the roof of a local Toyota dealership for the last week.
He’s battled rain and wind — but swears he won’t leave while Sanjaya remains on “Idol.” [linkaya]

No matter where you stand on Papaya, can we all just send Sanjaya Malakar a rousing chorus of “THANKS, FOR THE MEMORIES”? You must admit, this is ridiculously entertaining.

More power to you SM. And I’m not just saying that because you have bomb initials. 😉 Continue reading →

Do I Make You Offended Baby, Do I?

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I had heard about, made a mental note to blog about and then promptly forgotten Tanqueray’s newest offering– Tanqueray Rangpur Distilled Gin –until one of you alkies Sena X thoughtfully reminded me of it via our News Tab. Sena X posted a link to YouTube, where a mini-movie starring Tony Sinclair (who always reminds me more of Austin Powers than a “highly-esteemed socialite”) had been deposited in what I’m guessing is a bit of viral marketing (though the YTer’s other videos seem to have nothing to do with Tanqueray, liquor or other products, in general).

I watched the 9:53 extended commercial, which is a bit of a parody of one of my favorite shows, Globe Trekker, except in this spoof, it’s “Globe Probe“. When it was finished, I experienced a cocktail of mixed emotions, none of which I shall list, lest I somehow dilute the experience of watching it for yourselves, like one too many ice cubes in my Gold and coke. How many cliches can you spot? The winner gets…something. 😉

Seriously though– are any of you offended by this video? Amused? Indifferent? Is it as disrespectful as deities on knickers or nowhere close? I am sincerely curious as to what the Mutiny’s take on this is, considering the video’s plethora of orientalist stereotypes which got my eyes-rolling…do y’all think it is zimbly cute or utterly obnoxious?

p.s. For a ten-minute alcohol ad/movie that gets the job done so well, it ends up on our banners, get nostalgic with Mulit, here. Continue reading →

…but carry a big stick

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Evil Abhi: Oh no. Not another f*cking cricket post. Just kill me now.

Abhi: Come on, don’t be so mean. Some SM readers actually like cricket.

Evil Abhi: Why? Unless you trying to save your rainless Indian village from the British Empire, cricket sucks.

Abhi: Dude, you need to chill. You are insulting a game loved by millions as well as its fans.

Evil Abhi: All these cricket posts are ruining our prrrecioussss blog.

Abhi: Ok fine. I’ll just post an interesting picture then. I know you’re cool with pretty pictures.

Evil Abhi: Oohhh, look at the hobbittses.

Abhi: Dude, Sri Lanka just whooped new Zealand.

Evil Abhi: Hit it brown. Hit it.

Continue reading →

One Drop, One Percent, One Community (We Should Be)

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I am heartsick. I want no part of what has been occurring in “my house” as of late.

When Abhi approached me about starting a group blog to highlight “brown” aspects of the 2004 presidential race, I immediately agreed to take part. Why wouldn’t I? This project would seek out and illuminate that which the mainstream media couldn’t be bothered with— discrimination against a journalist with a South Asian name, the disrespect shown to our culture by a state branch of a major political party, essentially, the desi angle to everything around us. We would light the political and social night. We could be a beacon to every other South Asian American who felt exactly what we felt, lived through what we had, questioned what we did. Light of light.jpg

As an Orthodox Christian, the concept of “light” is sacred to me; I stood with almost a thousand people last Saturday night, waiting for our priest to throw open the doors to the altar, holy fire held high. The altar boys would take bits of that flame for their own candles, then fan out and pass the light on to the first row of parishioners, who would turn and continue the cycle, one pew lighting the candles behind it until everyone was bathed in the glow that only comes from flame and wax. The ritual which had taken place for over a millennia demonstrated how consummate darkness would always be destroyed by light. Light, a symbol of hope, a symbol of truth. Light, a visual reminder of the triumph of good over evil.

Evil does live in the dark. It lurks in shadows where it ensnares victims of rape, gagging them with shame while concomitantly extinguishing their inner flames.

One of the reasons why rape survivors do not come forward is because they are terrified that they will be doubted. They will be humiliated again, this time by those who should know better, who work for justice. Bruised and broken, they are forced to relive their ordeal while relating it to cynics and skeptics. The burden is on the survivor and that isn’t right. Yes, sometimes people lie and manipulate sympathy but that never justifies being unkind.

Once, in my Freshman-year theology class, Sister Veronica was asked about whether one should always provide alms for beggars. “Sister…isn’t it true that these people are bums? That they are going to just spend the money on drugs or booze? That’s what my Dad said and that’s why I don’t give them money anymore.” Sister Veronica’s face became serene.

“Child, you have been taught since kindergarten to see the face of Christ in everyone you meet, no matter who they are. Yes, even those whom you refer to as ‘bums’ have a divine inner light because just like you, they are children of God. They deserve to be treated that way.”

“But sister-“

“No buts. Even if they are going to use the pennies you give them for something else, even if they are lying about how they need money for food, even if they plan to buy drugs, you must believe that they are truly in need. Only God is allowed to judge others. And that unfortunate soul really might be in need—how would you know if they weren’t? And wouldn’t it be awful if you let your preconceived notions, your assumptions prevent you from doing what is right? From helping someone who truly needs it? You never know someone else’s story, so don’t act as if you do. Act as if you don’t. And act as if the best, not the worst is what is true.” Continue reading →

Sanjaya is MY Papaya.

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Last week (or the week before it, perhaps?) when American Idol’s cameras panned across the audience, I saw a “fanjaya” holding a sign which proclaimed: “Sanjaya is my Papaya”. Love it. It’s delightfully absurd, innit?

Last night, our half-brown wonder achieved what I thought impossible– positive reviews from three judges who are now extra cautious about everything they say, lest they offend young master Malakar’s ardent base of 12-year old girls and grandmothers, since doing so would only mobilize a GOTV effort that the Democrats probably have wet dreams about…and if they don’t, they should.

My papaya (what’s hilarious is I HATE PAPAYAS) crooned “Besame Mucho” and he did it rather well [Thanks, Murad], though I for one could’ve done without his attempts at growing facial hair. But Jennifer Lopez kinda predicted his success, didn’t she? She seemed slightly smitten with our kitten. Speaking of, does anyone remember when J. Lo’s hair and lips were distinctly darker and redder than her extremely bronze skin? No? Just me? Damn. Anyroad, I’d love to tell you what happens to the call centers’ choice, but I remember what it was like to live on the left coast and be salty about such things, so I’ll refrain from dropping spoiler bombs on y’all. 😉 Continue reading →

7.11 Convenience Theater: The Slurpee Review

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seven_11.jpg Seen any good plays recently? Yeah, didn’t think so. If you’re like me, you tend to fall asleep during big Broadway production numbers, but small “experimental” theaters leave you cringing with embarrassment or irritation. You know, all that minimalist white (or black) space, with some dudes dressed all in black (or white) rattling off non-sequiters.

Theater – playacting before a live audience – is a quaint and arguably archaic form. But I have to say, when done right, it can leave you feeling deliciously voyeuristic, like you’ve peered into another life with an immediacy that no book or movie could ever provide.

So imagine the excitement then, of theater written by a melange of browns and yellows, about them browns and yellows, for the Bs & Ys (and the people who care for them). I’m terribly late (only 3 days left!) in posting this review, so you should stop reading now and scoot off to buy tix to the Fifth Annual Seven.11 Convenience Theater. The talented folks at Desipina created seven short plays, each eleven minutes long, each set it that haven of desi-ness, the 7-11 convenience store.

Date: March 29 – April 14 [Wednesday – Saturday 8pm, Sat/Sun matinees 3pm ] Cost: Tickets are $18

Location: The Abrons Arts Center. 466 Grand St at Pitt Street, NYC. www.henrystreet.org

If you care to know more, join me as I wear my Ben Brantley hat after the jump. Continue reading →

Who’s That Girl?

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I know this is highly random, but ever since I read the email Sree sent out via SAJA, I’ve been curious about “her”, too. That and I truly believe that every brown person in Amreeka is two degrees apart:

You know your wife indulges your South Asia obsessions when she calls you from a cab to alert you to a pretty desi woman on Broadway. A pretty, very tall desi woman – over 15 feet tall, actually. See the photos below to see who my wife called me about (it’s a billboard for Microsoft’s Office 2007 on Broadway between 50th and 49th Street in Manhattan, near Times Square). Now, let’s test the “all desis know each other” theory and see if one of you can identify this model. [SAJAforum]

Bigger picture of our mystery model after the jump. Click to enlarge both images. Or not. Continue reading →

Christu Uyirthezhunnettu!

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Indian Girl Midnight Mass.jpg Chachaji’s beautifully kind comment inspired me to post this “aww-inducing” picture for Easter. It’s from the BBC, it’s a year old and it captures this moment I am contemplatively marinating in perfectly. This is the caption it had last year:

A young Christian girl holds a candle during Easter celebrations at midnight mass in St Mary’s Church in Secunderabad, India.

When I was her age, my little sister and I would have been attired similarly (to her and each other!) in fluffy Easter dresses, tied with bows, trimmed with lace. My dress would have been a different color if on Good Friday I had had the honor of “guarding” Christ’s tomb while holding a basket of flowers as a myhrr bearer, dressed in pure white.

In a few hours, I’ll be holding a white candle at a midnight service as well, though since I am not Catholic, it is never called “mass” (that’s what mutineer Vinod avoids, not me). Easter liturgy in the Greek Orthodox church is a thrilling experience; pure darkness will be illuminated by one, ten, and soon a thousand candles (in large cities like this, yes) which glow and move as the faithful make the sign of the cross, while singing “Christos Anesti” (Christ is risen).

I’ll tell you more if you’re interested, but for now, I must go get ready. Only amateurs show up at the Cathedral at 11pm thinking they’ll get to sit, not when it’s standing room only by 10:30. It’s going to be a very long night, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. To all who were thoughtful enough to wish me a Happy Easter, here and elsewhere- thank you. I’m lucky to know you. Continue reading →

It’s April. Let the fishes loose.

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The thing I’ve missed most about L.A. since I left is the live music (and my barber). Seriously, there is no better place to get an introduction to new sounds. I’m especially kicking myself because I didn’t get to see two bands that I really wanted to see live. The first was Goldspot. The second one was Rupa and the April Fishes. An Indian girl that sings in fluent Spanish and French and can stop you from bleeding out if you’ve been shot? That is absolutely hot enough to fry fishes!

As a doctor by day and a singer by night, third-year UCSF internal medicine resident Rupa Marya, MD, is living her dream…

Marya, 30, is an Indian woman who grew up in the Bay Area, France and India. She has known that she’s wanted to be both a physician and a performer since childhood, and has found ways to achieve balance while pursuing both passions.

“My kindergarten teacher asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, and I said, ‘a surgeon and a ballerina.’ She said I had to choose one. But I couldn’t choose, and now I find I’m a better doctor when I’m an artist and I’m a better artist when I’m a doctor. The passion for both comes from the same source,” says Marya… Previously part of an American folk duo, Marya has gone back to her multicultural roots, tapping into several cultural genres and singing most of the songs in French. “What is created is a living music and lively performance which gives voice to the fluidity of experience moving between different places, a sonic examination of being at the edge of different cultural identities,” according to her website.

The six band members bring together an eclectic assortment of music traditions — mixing French chanson with Gypsy waltzes, Indian ragas, sultry tangos and bossa nova — to create a romantic and lyrical sound reminiscent of bohemian Paris. [Link]

The group’s sound has a Devotchka-esque eclectic-ness to it. Enough talk! Bring out the music:

* une américaine à paris

* c’est moi

* wishful thinking

Their MySpace page has even more music. I especially like the song “Poder.” While I am listening to it I imagine myself kicking ass and taking names in a shady Mexican bar, like Antonio Banderas in the movie Desperado. And then Rupa could come along and heal them all because…ummm…she’s a singing doctor. Okay, maybe that was too much info to put out there.

Continue reading →

I’m Bringing Desi Back

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No, I am not referring to Sanjaya Malakar, because I wouldn’t want American Idol commentators to think that desi-Americans are monolithic in their support of him (we’re not), and I am not referring to me because well, desi never left my life. What I am getting at is the attempted resurgence of desi influences in mainstream American popular music, and surprisingly (or not so surprisingly depending on how you look at it) the current effort by producer extraordinaire Timbaland to bring desi back by featuring two desi-ish tracks on his latest release, Timbaland Presents Shock Value. The first of the two is “Bombay” featuring British-Asian songstress Amar, and the other “Come Around” with our girl M.I.A., which for some strange reason is only available in the U.S. as an import.

Like much of the album, both tracks are solid. Bombay is a straight up Hindi track, it features Amar’s vocal (rather than simply using it as a hook), its addictive, and makes good use of the “Bollywood of Yore” effect. The track has additional production by long-time Timbaland collaborator Jim Beanz, who recently released a couple of sanctioned remixes of two Nelly Furtado Tracks featuring Amar, Promiscuous Girl and Maneater, both of which are available for free download on Amar’s myspace page. Many of you might remember Amar for her hauntingly awesome vocal on the opening track Jaan of Talvin Singh’s groundbreaking compilation Anokha. On the heals of Anokha, she released a solo album, Outside, produced by Nitin Sawhney, but then seemingly fell off, until Beanz’s remix of Promiscuous started to make the rounds. For now anyway, it seems Amar may be the new Raje Shwari, the singer Timbaland and many others used for their Indian hooks a few years ago (Indian Flute, Bounce, Disco etc.), but hasn’t really been heard from since. I hope things work out better for Amar then they did for Raje.

As for the M.I.A. track, I don’t know, I can’t get enough. It’s got M.I.A.’s grimey rapping style, Timbaland’s typically solid production, and desi beats, incorporating and flipping the hook from a recent indi-pop hit “Let the Music Play.” The only thing wrong with this track is it isn’t on the American release.

Do I think Timbaland can bring desi back? I hope so. He’s gonna need help though, and by the lack of really good records from the desi diaspora over the past couple of years, it is going to be tough. For too long the desi music scene has relied upon British-Asian talent to bring the heat. I love British-Asian music, but its sound has gotten stagnant and it is time for desis on this side of the Atlantic to step up. From the word on the street and from what I’ve been hearing, I’m hopeful.

Continue reading →