Outrageous, bold and deadlyÂ…no wonder the media loves it. Every single time I turn on the TV or glance at Google News, I catch the latest development in the saga of Jennifer and George Hyatte, the outlaw married couple whose adventurous last few days read like a gangsta rap wet dream.

A US inmate has escaped after his wife shot dead a guard who was escorting the prisoner outside a courthouse in the state of Tennessee, authorities say.

Police say George and Jennifer Hyatte fled the scene in Kingston in a vehicle which was later found abandoned.

A hunt is under way for the former prison nurse and the escapee, who is described as “extremely violent”.

After that daring escape, the terrible twosome was on the run; they headed to Ohio (said, A, O, way to go Ohio) and got in a cab with one deliciously skeptical Mike Wagers. Wagers, their driver, made small talk that would later lead to a dramatic capture:

“The cover story they gave me didn’t really seem to wash too much,” Wagers told The Early Show co-anchor Harry Smith Thursday. “I mean, I could kinda see through that. But I had no indication that these guys were really dangerous or they were on the run.”

They claimed they were heading to a sales conference of Amway, the household goods manufacturer. But, says Wagers, “They didn’t strike me as the Amway type, because, to be honest, they weren’t very pushy about their product. And I’ve dealt with (Amway salespeople) before. So that was my only real suspicion.

Genius.

What about you? Have you enjoyed the fervent courtship of an Amway-ite? I know theyÂ’re everywhere but I was never approached, annoyed or harassed until I moved back to DC this year. Continue reading →

If you hadn’t noticed, I have been on sabbatical from our North Dakota headquarters the past couple of months, and spending some time in the continent that some of the inspiration for our mutiny comes from. While I have been based in Sri Lanka since the end of May, this past week I had the opportunity to visit a far-off corner of the territory considered part of South Asia, the beautiful and oft-forgotten Maldives. I thought that in honor of the Maldivian Independence day (July 26), I would drop a little knowledge on one of the most beautiful places in South Asia.

First, it is unclear to me whether it is the Maldives or Maldives, although I believe since the country is a series of atolls (groups of islands), the “the” could potentially be appropriate. Since I was there for all of four days, I am not really an expert on the place and this is more of an observation post than anything.

The main thing that struck me, outside of the natural beauty, was that an Island-country, separated by lots of water from the rest of the sub-Continent, while keeping its own distinct culture, shared so much with the rest of the region. I guess it isn’t that far away–the flight to Male is only 85 minutes from Colombo.

One thing that was blatantly different was the English-speaking accent. We all know what I am talking about, that Indian “Hobson-Jobson,” Apu English, spoken in variation by those from India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, NepalÂ…etc. It was nowhere to be heard by in the Maldives. Instead, most had an almost Australian intonation to their English, which I assume is from its proximity to that part of the world. Also, Maldivians don’t have that same interest in cricket–they seem to follow soccer more. Continue reading →

Fresh bagels, Starbucks™ coffee, foot massages – the SM main office is indeed posh. Thanks for having me, just remember, I expect to be paid in cash.

So let me begin with a personal anecdote, For what better way is there to endear yourself to your readers but with something that will tug at their heartstrings or at least get them frothing at the mouth.

In order to prepare for our upcoming trip to London, the Mrs. and I went to get an American passport for our two year old son at the county clerk office here in Brooklyn. (I must mention here that I have been on vacation for the past week and have not shaved during the time. A quick glance at me in the CCTV puts me high on a lot of freedom-lovinÂ’ peopleÂ’s wanted list). The guy behind the counter was a big old queen, IÂ’m talking rings on each finger, dyed hair, in his early 60s looking like Tony Curtis and talking like Paul Lynde queen.

“Well, well” he says, “looks like another form printed from the internet, let me see if this is the right one they always screw it up.”

“Is it the wrong form?” I ask

“No, it’s the right one, but usually people screw it up” he replies.

He started to fill out other paperwork then asked for our I.D. (the US passport office suggests you bring a state-issued driver’s license as a form of I.D.). As he continued to write down information from our ID he looked up and says “Now you don’t have a Resident Alien card do you?” (I don’t since I am an US citizen, but he was talking to me.)

My wife interjected “Yes, I do, but I didn’t bring it.” (she’s Welsh with a UK Passport).

“Well, I don’t have to accept this application you know” he says with a flourish of his many-ringed fingers.

“I mean he (speaking to me, the swarthy looking one) looks like he doesn’t belong here but here, you are the one with the resident alien card. You really should bring it with you when you come for something like a passport”.

We both bit our tongue. Telling him to stuff it for that comment meant we would have to go back home, come back with more paperwork and go through this process all over again on the hottest motherchucking day of the year. Continue reading →

Goodness gracious me, I’ve got NO love for the gulf today. First the barbaric evil that is ab-using little boys for Camel-racing, now this?

In a bid to create more jobs for its nationals, Saudi Arabia has passed a new law banning the employment of non-Saudis as security guards at private companies and organisations.

Huh. I wonder…who…might…be affected.

No, really, what I should be wondering is “whom are they going to look down on and abuse, if they aren’t importing brown people for that”?

It’s so gut-twisting (though that could also be the OJ I just had)– I refuse to visit family members in the gulf, because there’s so much odious injustice going on there…even as my cousins swear that it’s worth all the hardship and anxiety, since the opportunities are so plentiful. If laws like this continue to be passed, then that’s one way to ensure that Indians aren’t getting shat on. You can’t get mistreated in Saudi Arabia if you aren’t allowed to work there.

I want people in India to have a chance at the material success we all crave, but I can’t stand the second- and third-class…hell, no-class treatment we get in oil-y places. I can’t wait for India to become really successful; then my cousins can just stay home, and the Saudis can keep their damned jobs.

In my pleasant daydream, right after India becomes that kind of powerhouse, Pakistan grows a set and gives would-be Arab hunters the bird— and I don’t mean the beautiful ones with feathers which they already shamelessly and hypocritically provide. Continue reading →

Thanks to my Salon subscription, whenever I want to, I get to read a publication I’d normally ignore —The New Republic Online. On the 8th, an article about the attack on London caught my attention. I’ve often said that the comments on this blog are what captivate me, that the discussions which spontaneously erupt under a post are the best part of the Mutiny. This week has proven no exception, as I am surprised and provoked by what some of you have said.

Your words made me think that a few of you might also want to read “Response Time”, by Joseph Braude, an essay about how Muslim groups responded to the terrorist attack on London, especially since SM regular Al Mujahid was repeatedly asked to provide “proof” that Muslim groups had denounced the terrorist bombing that rocked London’s transit system; he responded here and here. With that in mind, I found Braude’s piece even more salient.

Yesterday’s attack on the British people gave Muslims everywhere a chance to distance themselves from the radical Islamists who claim to have perpetrated it. While Muslim governments have taken the opportunity to speak out against the killing of innocents, Muslim Brotherhood offshoot groups failed to rise to the challenge. What they offered instead were statements full of equivocation–in marked contrast to other Arab politicians.*

Among Muslim heads of state, condemnation of the Al Qaeda “raid” was just as severe as the rest of the world’s. Jordan, the Gulf states, and Egypt as well as Syria and Iran all sent official condolences on behalf of the nation. Some went further: Egypt, whose ambassador to Iraq was also murdered by an Al Qaeda affiliate yesterday, called in its official press for seamless counterterrorist coordination between Arab countries and the West. In Europe and the United States, Muslim community organizations like Britain’s Muslim Council and the Council on American Islamic Relations (CAIR) were absolute in their condemnation: “barbaric crimes” which “can never be justified or excused,” according to CAIR; “hateful acts” which only “strengthen our determination to live together in peace,” says the Muslim Council.

The response from Hamas was predictable:

Hamas, on the other hand, laid ultimate blame for the attack on aggression against Arabs and Muslims. In an official communiqué from Gaza, the movement declared:

We call upon all states and influential international societal forces to bring about an end to all forms of occupation, aggression, oppression, and discrimination directed against the Arab and Islamic nation–particularly in Palestine, Iraq, and Afghanistan–because the continuation of these acts offers an environment of tension and repression which naturally leads to a continuance of the likes of these acts and explosions.

Continue reading →

I think we have another entry into the annals of really bad writing on South Asia. This entry comes from perennial favorite, our friends over at Condé Nast Traveler.

Those of you who have been to the region understand my initial surprise when I received my June 2005 issue to see on the cover a piece entitled Driving India. I mean, there is a reason that Hertz and Avis car rental companies aren’t on every corner (I believe there are 16 Hertz locations for the entire country of over a billion people). Ever wonder why no ingenious Indian business person hadn’t created the rupee car rental company? Perhaps because it isn’t safe for those unfamiliar with the country/roads to drive there. Like any good mutineer, I immediately flip to the story entitled “Accelerating Mayhem,” and began reading to see how crazy the writer, Stephan Wilkinson must be to take on the Indian roads. Instead I was left wondering how his article got published.

Well as soon as I flipped to page 92, I began to see the signs, not so much that he is crazy, but for bad and clichéd writing on the region. What are these warning signs you ask? Let’s have a looksee:

1. Required discussion of arranged marriage, check. I have no idea what this has to do with a travelogue or driving India, but yes, people in India have arranged marriages. It has been written about, TMBWITW Aishwarya has explained it, and some (gasp) even prefer it.

2. The requisite mention of the “Indian head shake,” check. To be fair, Wilkinson describes it as “a vague cock of the head.” I think we should formally rename it here as the South Asian head shake because I know they do it in Pakistan, Bangladesh, Nepal, and Sri Lanka as well.

3. Use of the word “the” before mentioning the state of Punjab, check. I never understood how this trend started, to say “the Punjab.” Writing, “From Delhi through the Punjab” is the equivalent of saying from Washington D.C. through the PennsylvaniaÂ… Continue reading →