The butterfly effect

I love book excerpts. Like film trailers, they offer up the juiciest bits from potentially marginal titles. Here’s a good one from NYT columnist Tom Friedman’s latest, The World is Flat. Hedge (fund) hog and sound bite artiste Dinakar Singh compares minds to perishable inventory in dockside godowns:

”India had no resources and no infrastructure… It produced people with quality and by quantity. But many of them rotted on the docks of India like vegetables. Only a relative few could get on ships and get out. Not anymore, because we built this ocean crosser, called fiber-optic cable. For decades you had to leave India to be a professional. Now you can plug into the world from India. You don’t have to go to Yale and go to work for Goldman Sachs.”

”… the railroad overinvestment was confined to your own country and so, too, were the benefits,” Singh said. In the case of the digital railroads, ”it was the foreigners who benefited.” …That overinvestment, by companies like Global Crossing, resulted in the willy-nilly creation of a global undersea-underground fiber network, which in turn drove down the cost of transmitting voices, data and images to practically zero, which in turn accidentally made Boston, Bangalore and Beijing next-door neighbors overnight.

In Friedman’s butterfly formulation, the Global Crossing bankruptcy let IIT kids enjoy both cash and kachoris. It’s the global version of ‘work in your pajamas’: enjoying family, festivals and food at home.

Mamet’s stain on Broadway (updated)

Re: Apul’s post, David Mamet’s racist salesman drama Glengarry Glen Ross is being revived on Broadway next Wednesday. Even though the lines are uttered in character, it’s a deeply offensive play:

MOSS: I’ll tell you what else: don’t ever try to sell an Indian.

AARONOW: I’d never try to sell an Indian.

MOSS: You get those names come up, you ever get ’em, “Patel?”… You had one you’d know it. Patel. They keep coming up. I don’t know. They like to talk to salesmen. They’re lonely, something. They like to feel superior, I don’t know. Never bought a fucking thing… They got a grapevine. Fuckin’ Indians, George. Not my cup of tea. Speaking of which I want to tell you something: I never got a cup of tea with them. You see them in the restaurants. A supercilious race. What is this look on their face all the time? I don’t know. I don’t know. Their broads all look like they just got fucked with a dead cat, I don’t know…

ROMA: Patel? Ravidam Patel? How am I going to make a living on these deadbeat wogs? Where did you get this, from the morgue?… Patel? Fuck you. Fuckin’ Shiva handed him a million dollars, told him “sign the deal,” he wouldn’t sign. And Vishnu, too.

The play, written in 1984, won a Pulitzer and was turned into a major 1992 film with Alec Baldwin, Al Pacino, Kevin Spacey and Ed Harris. Mamet had second thoughts, but only decades later:

He thinks maybe he should take another look at his anti-Indian remarks that still smolder in Glengarry Glen Ross, a play he wrote 20 years ago. “Patel” was a racial epithet uttered by guys in his line of work years ago, when he was selling real estate. Maybe it doesn’t belong in the play anymore, given what the times are now.

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Students learn new meaning for ‘rubber’

Students in Uttar Pradesh found a new hiding place for their crib sheets (via India Uncut, appropriately enough). I wish they wouldn’t air their dirty laundry:

Invigilators at Jai Narain Degree College were baffled to find eight condoms hidden inside the underpants of a boy taking [an] examination…. Inside the condoms, chits with short answers, tips and formulae were neatly packed. When caught, one of the boys quipped, “It is a ‘condomed’ way to cheat”… The invigilators were not prepared to touch the condoms. So the college sweeper was summoned. He put the condoms in a file as proof for further action…. Another student was found hiding chits in a bandage on his leg.

Silly rabbit, prophylactics aren’t for filing. And I find this story hard to digest:

At Eram College, a girl was found hiding her chits in what the invigilators called “an unmentionable place”. When the chits were recovered, she swallowed them.

When the chits were down…

West Coast choppers

Accountant gives thieves the finger: A desi accountant in Malaysia was carjacked by machete-wielding thieves who chopped off the tip of his finger to make his S-Class’ biometric ignition lock work (via Boing Boing):

Accountant K Kumaran, 29, was walking towards his [$80K] S-Class Mercedes Benz in a Kuala Lumpur suburb on Monday when he was knocked down from behind by a car… “They forced me to put my finger on the panel and then started the car. They bundled me into the back, between the seats and used my tie to blindfold me,” he said.

Kumaran was driven to another location where the carjackers asked two other men whether they could bypass the immobiliser system. When they said they could not, Kumaran was stripped naked and ordered to put his left hand on the ground. One of the hijackers then used a machete to chop off the tip of Kumaran’s index finger.

The crime brings to life a scenario envisioned in countless Philip K. Dick novels and films, not least Minority Report’s back-alley eye transplant. And the incident, which took place in the capital city on the western coast of Malaysia, gives new meaning to the phrase ‘chopped Benz.’

Mughals vs. natives, round 2

In bragging rights for who’s got the biggest, impressive buildings are a frequent battleground (Erotic Gherkin, anyone?). In the old days, they were monuments stocked with semiprecious stones, and the craftsmen were blinded after completion; today, they’re miles-long malls with built-in ice rinks, Prada stores and rugrats in tow:

Menon… is embarking on his new venture – Sobha Global Mall — in Bangalore with a cost of Rs.15 billion ($345 million). “As of today, our upcoming mall project will be the largest in India, spread over 17 acres with a built-up area of 2.8 million sq. feet,” Menon said. “Apart from a shopping complex, an amusement park, 192-room plush hotel, convention centre, multiplex and smart offices, the mall will boast of an Olympic size ice skating rink, the first of its kind in the sub-continent,” Menon added.

How does that compare to the Mall of America, owned by the Iranian-American Ghermezian brothers? It will be 33% smaller, and that’s before the MoA’s expansion:

… the managing partner of Mall of America, wants to nearly double the size of the largest mall in the U.S. with a $1 billion, European-themed addition featuring boutiques, hotel towers, an ice rink, a concert hall and a casino.

It’s Tiffany vs. Bhindi Jewelers: I foresee a global charms race. It’s hard beating Middle Easterners for grandiosity, although Noida is trying. See Harrods and the Burj al-Arab — there’s a reason why Texans and Saudis get along.

Evangelical ghazals

Afternoon TV is so funky sometimes. Today, the Christian channel was not showing a silver-haired white guy with expansive hand gestures, clad in a shiny double-breasted suit. Instead, it was showing a desi couple, the guy with those huge uncle glasses, singing a ghazal in Hindi, interleaved with clips of folk dancing.

The ghazal sounded completely traditional, but instead of being about love, melancholy or a Hindu / Muslim / Sikh God, it was about Jesus and Mary. ‘Prabhu,’ which usually refers to a Hindu or Sikh God, meant Jesus in this song, ‘Yehuda’ was Judas and ‘Yeshu’ was God. The song, broadcast by the South Asian Gospel Broadcasting Network (who knew?), was subtitled so New Yorkers could groove along. Talk about using the tools of the masters — this concoction merges the ghazal (which originated in Islam), Indian folk dancing and American-style televangelism.

Pardon my parochialness, but I’ve never seen this before. Fusion? Talvin and Karsh got nothin’ on the church. Similarly, I’ve always been fascinated by how omnivorously religious many Hindus are. They practice it like metareligion where other ‘one-and-only’ deities are merely slotted into the pantheon. I often see Bollywood philms where a Hindu protagonist’s idea of the holy trinity is to pray at a temple, a church and a gurudwara all in the same day. And many Punjabi Hindus attend their local gurudwara instead of temple. I’d imagine it all drives hardcore monotheists crazy.

Watch the video: torrent (MPG, 38 MB). Free BitTorrent downloader required: Windows, Mac.

Related post: The fight for the proselyte

Zakaria, Fareed Zakaria

Foreign policy mandarin Fareed Zakaria has launched a new weekly show called Foreign Exchange on PBS stations nationwide (via SAJA). It’s odd to see the omnipresent guest turn host, even stranger to hear someone with a prep school, Anglicized Bombay accent hosting an American TV show. But, as always, neocons and Zakaria fans (I count myself among the latter) will wet themselves.

Watch the trailer. Here’s the show’s official site and bios of the Zakaria brothers.

Previous posts: 1, 2, 3, 4

Foreign Exchange with Fareed Zakaria: in Chicago on WTTW; in San Francisco on KQED; in Washington, DC on WHUT; in Seattle on KCTS; in Tampa on WUSF; in Denver on KRMA; in Oregon on OPB; in Kansas City on KCPT; in Salt Lake City on KUED; and others; check TV listings.

The Modi protest

Shashwati reports backs from the protest against Modi at Madison Square Garden (photos here):

Among the anti-Modi and anti-Hindutva signs were some anti-Indian Army in Kashmir signs… the Kashmir folks had been piggybacking on the anti-Modi protest. They were politely banished to the other side of Seventh Avenue…

The passersby hurried by in a typical New York rush, some holding up their fingers in a peace sign, without slowing down… Stan asked him if it was true that two thousand people had been killed, the man very matter of factly answered, “sometimes people needed to be disciplined and taught a lesson…” They looked like they had been herded by the more affluent Indians, who were the organizers of the show. Unlike the folks who had been bussed in, most of these people weren’t wearing a tilak, and were barking orders in their walkie-talkies, and generally looking self satisfied. I spoke to a woman in a leather jacket, I asked her what she thought of the proceedings, which she had been watching with an eagle eye, she answered with great unsmiling certainty, “Modi will be the next great leader.”

While she was chatting up the better heeled delegates, a man draped in a saffron shawl stood on top of the steps, not speaking to anyone and standing very still. He seemed to be committing every protestor’s face to memory… At that point a very large man in a trench coat and hat told me to clear the sidewalk. he was the detective in charge. He was the spitting image of Orson Welles in “A Touch of Evil.”

On my way home, I shared a bus ride with some middle aged Gujarati people who had gone to the event, they seemed like nice people. It was chilling to think that they were unmoved by the brutal killing of so many people…

‘Modi will be the next great leader’? Where do they find these people, under the same rock as David Duke groupies?

Previous posts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Yet another arranged marriage story only

Yet another arranged marriage story in New York magazine with oodles of exposition for those not in-the-know (thanks, Sital and Prashant). I’m guilty in this genre too, but my excuse: it was years ago for a desi mag. Some amusing bits:
Still rather prejudiced against meat-eaters, my father immediately discards responses from those with a “non-veg” diet. There is, however, a special loophole for meat-eaters who earn more than $200,000…
 
Oddly, by the end of the night, he couldn’t remember my name. Nothing fazed Juan Carlos, however. He quickly jotted off a poem explaining his lapse: “I wrote your name in the sand, but a wave came and washed it away. I wrote your name in a tree, but the branch fell. I have written your name in my heart, and time will guard it…”
 
“What are your qualifications?” I said I had a B.A. “B.A. only?” she responded. “What are the boy’s qualifications?” I flung back… She smirked: “He is M.D. in Kentucky only…” I grumbled, “Auntie, I will speak to the boy only.”
 
Afterward, I was planning to meet my best friend, who’s gay, in a store, and I asked the guy to come in and say hello. My date became far more animated than he’d been before and even helped my friend choose a sweater…
 
A few days after my 1st birthday… I fell out the window of a three-story building in Baltimore. My father recalls my mother’s greatest concern… “What boy will marry her when he finds out?” she cried, begging my father to never mention my broken arm…
 
My friend Divya… stays out clubbing on her nights off. Imagine my surprise when I discovered she was on KeralaMatrimony.com, courtesy of her mother, who took the liberty of listing Divya’s hobbies as shopping and movies. (I was under the impression her hobbies were more along the lines of trance music and international politics…)
 
My father saw my mother once before they got married… he lost sight of her at a bazaar the day after their wedding and lamented to himself that he would never find her again, as he’d forgotten what she looked like.
I love how she includes a photo and slyly drops in the H-bomb, because even though it’s just a feature piece, ‘ya never know.’ These stories are a kind of implicit personals for journies:
… my father placed matrimonial ads for me every couple of years… They read something like, “Match for Jain girl, Harvard-educated journalist, 25, fair, slim.”
That we all include our photos on this blog is, umm, sheer coincidence.

Subservient Sanjeev

You knew it was coming: Subservient Sanjeev of the fictional Nevashut, a mini-mart at a British petrol pump (thanks, Turbanhead). Sanjeev, who’s a promo for Pringles potato crisps, is a meld of Burger King’s Subservient Chicken promo, Apu from The Simpsons and video cut scenes from those lame choose-your-own-adventure arcade games of the ’80s.

As is usual in this genre, Procter & Gamble UK strives to be inoffensive by being inconsequential. It’s not totally in-your-face, though it lays the mini-mart stereotypes down thick.

Give Sanjeev some love. Try typing: dance, run, play me a song, moustache, money, and stupid, the clips are pretty funny. I wonder whether anyone’s extracted all the possible video clips from the Web site yet.

Kittyminx thinks it’s racist viral marketing, but the humor is so corporate-colorless (try ‘punch’), I have a hard time getting my high dudgeon on:

If they did this with a black person or a Jew, a lot of people would be pissed and rightly so… The only reason why it hasn’t yet is that I’m guessing that Asians and South Asians in particular, are about the only ethnic group left that pop culture thinks its ok to make fun of. And this ad campaign probably comes from the UK… [w]here they are less concerned about “political correctness”… it also seems that the British are a lot more openly and blatantly anti-immigrant, saying things that in America are usually only said by Pat Buchanan and other wingnuts.

Update: Thanks to reader epoch, you can now see every single keyword that triggers a video clip.