West Coast choppers

Accountant gives thieves the finger: A desi accountant in Malaysia was carjacked by machete-wielding thieves who chopped off the tip of his finger to make his S-Class’ biometric ignition lock work (via Boing Boing):

Accountant K Kumaran, 29, was walking towards his [$80K] S-Class Mercedes Benz in a Kuala Lumpur suburb on Monday when he was knocked down from behind by a car… “They forced me to put my finger on the panel and then started the car. They bundled me into the back, between the seats and used my tie to blindfold me,” he said.

Kumaran was driven to another location where the carjackers asked two other men whether they could bypass the immobiliser system. When they said they could not, Kumaran was stripped naked and ordered to put his left hand on the ground. One of the hijackers then used a machete to chop off the tip of Kumaran’s index finger.

The crime brings to life a scenario envisioned in countless Philip K. Dick novels and films, not least Minority Report’s back-alley eye transplant. And the incident, which took place in the capital city on the western coast of Malaysia, gives new meaning to the phrase ‘chopped Benz.’

7 thoughts on “West Coast choppers

  1. This is pure Malaysian-style thuggery. It reminds me of the apocryphal stories that my aunts and uncles would tell about childnappers. Apparently, the kidnappers would offer the child a freshly-cooked whole fish and watch to see what portion the child selected for himself. If it was the fish eye (considered a delicacy), they knew that he was from a rich family, and they would ransom him. If he didn’t, they knew he wasn’t, and would just kill him.

    I’m assuming the children kidnapped were Malaysian Chinese, b/c I couldn’t see this “test” flying with, for example, someone who was vegetarian!


  2. Ow, ow, ow. Poor poor man. That’s not quite as bad as losing an eye, but I think the index finger is your most experienced tactile sensor. That’s a lot of tactile experience he’s going to miss out on. I hope he’s at least right handed. Yeah, in general I’m not down with these biological-based locks and keys.

  3. So, I take it these brainiacs have some way of preserving his finger in full vital form, free of decomposition forever and ever, until authorities do them part.

    “Hey, pull the finger out of the formaldehyde, la, I want to go for a ride.”

    Poor guy.

  4. Manish, you’re on a roll with the puns today.

    I’m envisioning the car-thieves “keyring.” That’s gotta be gross as hell. I mean, rabbit’s foot, sure…but fingers? No matter what you drive, your date isn’t going to be impressed.