And all she got was a bun.

Wow, more weird India news! Yay!.jpg

Allow me to preempt someone from asking why I chose to write this story. No, really, let’s get it out of the way, this nimisham:

• Did this really have to be blogged?

• Slow news day?

• Aren’t X,Y and Q more important?

• And furthermore, doesn’t your lack of blogging X,Y and Q indicate that you are a heartless bitch who doesn’t care about Pakistan/the Nuke Deal/the environment/immigration??

Yes,

maybe,

perhaps and

refer to my finger, for that last one. It’s an extra-challenging week at work, so I can’t write anything dazzling, not that the performances which I usually phone in are sublime. I don’t have much time, but when something’s on my mind, it’s easier (read: cathartic) to type, so a “Musings” post it shall be.

Unless you were the last person to be found during hide and seek yesterday, you have heard the cringe-inducing-on-so-many-levels news about an Indian man “marrying” a dog (thanks, Aggiebabe). It is somewhat like the whole “Aish weds trees…twice”-fiasco…except in TMBWITW’s case, she was doing it to compensate for her apparently unfortunate nakshatram and not because she had killed two trees.

An Indian man has “married” a female dog, hoping the move will help atone for stoning two other dogs to death.
P Selvakumar, 33, said he had been cursed since the killings, suffering paralysis and a loss of hearing.
The wedding took place at a Hindu temple in Tamil Nadu state. The “bride” wore an orange sari with a flower garland and was fed a bun to celebrate.
Superstitious people in rural India sometimes organise weddings to animals in the hope of warding off curses.[BBC]

Buried among the hundreds of jokes which punsters are giddily guffawing over (enjoy your free pass to bitch about how the bride is a bitch…but more on that later) is to me the most appalling aspect of this story; this man killed two innocent, defenseless creatures.

I didn’t know how he killed them until I settled in to my seat on the subway this morning and found out that he had stoned them. That detail bothered me so much, because my imagination doesn’t need any assistance in recreating actual events. Have you ever seen an animal cowering in front of a human? Yelping and whimpering out of fear and pain? It’s heartbreaking, but that’s what this so-called man saw, as he brutally stoned two dogs. I remember the way our late German Shepherds looked terrified and anxious, when they were merely being scolded…and that was after they had committed capital offenses, like uprooting our only curry leaf plant.These dogs must have been perplexed as to why they were being hunted down by this sadist. The whole crime makes that red, squishy thing in the middle of my chest ache a little bit. Achtung, it’s lame that I have to assert this, but I’m not some granola-lite, bleeding heart Aggie who puts the welfare of puppies over people—no, I’m someone who, like most of you, is well aware of the connection between perpetrating violence against animals and committing it on humans.

Many studies in psychology, sociology, and criminology during the last 25 years have demonstrated that violent offenders frequently have childhood and adolescent histories of serious and repeated animal cruelty. The FBI has recognized the connection since the 1970s, when its analysis of the lives of serial killers suggested that most had killed or tortured animals as children. Other research has shown consistent patterns of animal cruelty among perpetrators of more common forms of violence, including child abuse, spouse abuse, and elder abuse. In fact, the American Psychiatric Association considers animal cruelty one of the diagnostic criteria of conduct disorder. [woof]

Dogs and cats are simple, available targets, and practice makes perfect, if the definition of perfection involves torture and murder. What else has this person done? And to whom? And I recognize that I was born here, in the first world, that I am privileged because of that and thus view this news story through my very American eyes, but at least I’m aware of this heinous flaw o’ mine. At least I am ashamed that I have this privilege to be bothered by what some consider a triviality.

But he killed two dogs. That’s all my mind returns, when I pause between Outlook storms. Maybe I should add the Humane Society to my slowly-expanding list of Causes on Facebook, since I’m obsessed with this. And dogs in general (and this cat, but she’s the exception which proves the rule).

Back to our story- after slaying two canines, the groom lost his hearing and according to most stories I’ve read, became paralyzed. Obviously this is divine retribution for being such a flaming merde-bag, oui? Oui. How could one fix this? But of course! Have him marry a dog! Easy atonement, even as such atoning is gleefully retold the world over, ensuring that some desi kid at a less progressive, less diverse school– like the ones I went to– will be having a GREAT recess and lunch period.

Crowds cheered the newly-weds at the end of the ceremony in Sivaganga district, about 50km (30 miles) east of the city of Madurai.
The “bride”, who is called Selvi, was led to the temple in Manamudurai wearing a sari before vows were exchanged in a traditional Hindu ceremony.
A relative of the groom who attended the wedding said he hoped Mr Selvakumar would now be cured.
“Fifteen years back Selvakumar was physically fit. But, once he attacked a pair of dogs and thereafter Kumar could not move his limbs freely,” the relative, Ramu, told the BBC.
“He tried every cure for his ailment but could not be rid of his disability.
“On the advice of an astrologer and others, he decided to marry a bitch to get cured. Then we arranged Selvakumar’s marriage with a bitch.” [BBC]

Who is going to look after that bitch and protect her from abuse–no, I don’t want to get in the possibilities– or is the prevailing assumption that he’s learned his lesson and now will behave? Speaking of “bitch”, that is the final snag on my mental stockings—the B word. Is “bitch” commonly-used in India? Does it have the same connotations? Yes, it’s an even more trivial triviality, atop that other triviality, i.e. my soft shpot for dogs.

This entire story leaves me feeling weird and I don’t feel like I have the “privilege” to explore one of the other aspects of it, which is bothering me- religion. I don’t know enough about Hinduism and though I eat like one, I’m certainly not Hindu. What does this story tell the world (or us, or martians, or…) about religion and what we are willing to tolerate within it?

Then again, maybe there’s some weird Christian tradition that makes even less sense to some girl in Madurai*, I don’t know. Maybe she’s not even thinking of such things. Maybe she’s already rolled her eyes, written this off as mega-superstitiousness which has nothing to do with her or the life she leads, and moved on. I wish I could shake this or make sense of the maelstrom this story evoked within, as easily.

*the closest city to where this happened, I think.

410 thoughts on “And all she got was a bun.

  1. Anna, when you blog, you gotta develop a thick skin. If you want to make fun of Hinduism, or want to question some aspect of it in a serious manner, fire away. We know where you come from. There is no need to be defensive especialy consdering non Christians here have no problem attacking Christianity whenever it warrants.

    I do not see where Hinduism comes into this in a sinister way other than the fact that this ignorant moron has been punished by becoming the laughingstock of the world by marrying a dog in a temple. If anything, the temple has made him a big time joke by having to atone for his past sins or whatever. I do not think the humiliation of this whole thing has really sunk in yet to this guy. Maybe when he grows half a brain, he will die of shame.

  2. man. this story is bizarre.

    This entire story leaves me feeling weird and I don’t feel like I have the “privilege” to explore one of the other aspects of it, which is bothering me- religion. I don’t know enough about Hinduism and though I eat like one, I’m certainly not Hindu. What does this story tell the world (or us, or martians, or…) about religion and what we are willing to tolerate within it?

    well, i’m sure some people would argue that this isn’t hinduism. that this is the local folk religion of tamil nadu. those arguing for this perspective probably be both dravidian nationalists and more “orthodox” sanskritized hindus.

    as for superstition, Georgia governor leads prayer for rain.

  3. In the USA, we’re debating whether or not gays should be allowed to marry one-another. In India, we’re so advanced, that we can even do inter-species marriage.

    Therefore, India is a more liberal country than the USA.

  4. It annoys me to no end that these “omg-they’re-so-crazy-over-there” stories generally don’t carry dates. As if the incident somehow transcends the usual customs of journalism because of its tabloid factor. stoopid bbc.

    As far as that quotation from Ramu the Relative, it was probably translated from Tamil.

  5. I don’t condone cruelty against animals, but I just have to point out that strays in India are different. I vividly remember being chased by dogs and being scared for my life when I was a little girl in Hyderabad. Now I wouldn’t have gone and stoned them, but I’m just saying.

  6. I don’t see how marrying the dog will atone for his past deeds but in the world of illogical people, this is a very logical action. I used to worry about people hunting and poaching innocent animals once. Then I saw Maneka Gandhi’s program where I saw one guy kill a beautiful, small bird by shoving a knife through it which wasn’t even enough for a bite. After so many years (about a dozen) I still can’t get that clip out of my mind. Since then I have realized I can’t keep up with such news, so I use feed readers to carefully choose which news I read.

  7. forgot to add- so maybe there is more to the story, and the dogs weren’t ‘innocent.’ I still don’t think it’s justification for killing a less developed creature, though, but it’s not like animal control probably exists where he lives.

    As for the religious aspect of it – I dunno. I don’t think it’s that bizarre that he’s trying to atone for his sins like this. It makes logical sense to those who believe that ‘what goes around comes around’ (to quote Justin Timberlake). And it’s not like he’s going to keep the dog as a wife- probably more like he will look after the dog, treat it well, etc.

  8. I would say that this is part of Hinduism. Let’s remember Hinduism is not a discrete religious entity like other religions. If it is going to be inclusive of all the little tribal faiths, then it is going to be associated with them in their good and bad times. I do not see this incident as religion condonding what he did. But it does look silly when the temple serves as a venue for this ridiculous marriage unless the originators of this “tradition” devised this solution as an amusing karmic payback to a guy who sinned against dogs.

    Nala also has a valid comment. Stray dogs are not seen in the same way. I am actually surprised the idiot actually felt bad enough for what he did that he suffered psychosomatic symptoms of his past deeds. That is more than jail can administer to him.

  9. I’m putting a picture of a dog on a profile on shaadi.com tonight, lets see how many proposals I get.

    Wheatish complexion, good mixture of dog and human values, etc etc etc

  10. “The wise see a dog and an eater of dogs (untouchable) with equal eyes as a cow or brahmin.” Bhagavad Gita – 5:18

  11. I am not particularly shocked or embarrassed by the story. As faith healing goes, it is not a bad solution. The guy was obviously traumatized and feeling guilty about his action of killing the dogs, else he wouldn’t blame his disease/disorder on them. The marriage can be seen as an act of atonement that frees him of some of his guilt, while also (hopefully) assuring he doesn’t perform such a cruel act in the future. After all, he is symbolically wedded to the canine kingdom now. 😉

  12. What is taught as Hinduism is usually just the Brahmanical or Vedic aspect, which doesn’t really describe the day to day spirituality of most people in India (i.e. not the creamy layers of society whose scions end up in the US). People like me aren’t trying to be evasive when we say that this isn’t “Hinduism”. We are taken to task by Leftists when we use the more expansive definition of Hinduism as all the religious traditions originating in India. So this is not Hindu if you are using the “Asian Religions 101” definition, but it is Hinduism (along with Jainism, Buddhism, Shaktism) if you use the more expansive definition.

    I’ve never heard of this, but I am not surprised either. As a non-Tambrahm Tamil, I can tell you that our Amman temple worship violates almost all of the “Hindu” pollution laws. Pandarams and “low caste” assistants, rather than Brahmins, perform the ceremonies, we do blood sacrifices of goats, and we used to use liquor as well. In all likelihood, the “Hindu” temple in question was an Amman type temple as a Vedic rite (i.e. Asian Religion 101 type Hindu) organization would never allow this

  13. My uncle used to shoot stray dogs from his terrace. I’m not one to condemn him since some of them savaged his pet dogs. Blame the gov’t who never do any culling whether its dogs, cats, cows or monkeys. As far as the canine bride is concerned, she is probably adopted as a pet. Nothing strange is going to happen to her other than having to wear a saree. The boys in India will learn a lesson. Don’t stone the dogs or else you’ll end up having to marry a real bitch.

  14. What does this story tell the world (or us, or martians, or…) about religion and what we are willing to tolerate within it?

    I really, really, really cannot see how belief in a conventional God is any better than this type of belief in a dog. In addition to providing much of the same warm fuzziness that God does, this dog is real. Why should there be a problem tolerating one form of superstition and not another? I understand some gods are considered to be real and true but seriously what does that say about religion and what we have been willing to tolerate for so long.

  15. As for weird ideas that Hindus don’t get, I would say that the exclusivity of Jesus/Allah as being the only way ranks highly. I know a great number of what I call Christianized Hindus, in South India especially, who have adopted a Christian ethic but will never become fully Christian due to that cognitive hump.

  16. I would like to add to the definition of Hinduism. In Kannada, there is a word for “religion” called “mata” which connotes belief based religions. Hinduism is a “dharma” which is a way of life. Hence there are all these individual “castes” inside one dharma. Regardless of what god you choose to believe in, you still coexit with people around you. That part is missed my most people and Hinduism is demoted a notch to being a religion.

  17. I really, really, really cannot see how belief in a conventional God is any better than this type of belief in a dog.

    They believe the dog is god? It must be some other deity who is punishing him for his crime. A lot of deity patronize animals. Like Hanuman and the monkeys.

  18. Easy atonement, even as such atoning is gleefully retold the world over, ensuring that some desi kid at a less progressive, less diverse school— like the ones I went to— will be having a GREAT recess and lunch period.

    I just have to say, I grew up in a multicultural school district and went to an uber-‘progressive’ high school, but that still didn’t stop the immature a$$holes from saying shit like, ‘you worship an elephant! LOL!’ or on the days when I wore my Sai Baba locket, ‘haha! saffron robe! just like the gates in central park!’

    Anna, when you blog, you gotta develop a thick skin. If you want to make fun of Hinduism, or want to question some aspect of it in a serious manner, fire away. We know where you come from. There is no need to be defensive especialy consdering non Christians here have no problem attacking Christianity whenever it warrants.

    Er, as someone who’s had her beliefs ridiculed by people of other religions, ‘secular Hindus,’ and atheists alike, frankly I’m glad that there are people like anna who try to respect other’s beliefs and tread carefully. I only wish other people wouldn’t be so quick to judge everyone else. 🙁

  19. Rasudha has a good point. We cannot view morality the same way. Dogs are not necessarily that helpless in every environment.

    Rezab, I live in Georgia and it is freaking embarassing to have a Governor lead public prayers when he could have put some effort to be proactive on this issue a couple of years ago. What was a bigger embarassment is the absolute shitfest Nightline has become. The newsguy , sacrifices integrity, when he kind of adds a little fake mystery, when he says and I paraphrase here “and wouldn’t you know, rain is forecast for the day after the prayers. It works in mysterious ways”. The idiot did not mention that the forecast was made before the prayers and so the prayers would not even have anything to do with the prayers.

  20. The whole crime makes that red, squishy thing in the middle of my chest ache a little bit.

    Yeow, the thought of squishing of an organ makes me cringe. And how does one even know that the heart is squishy.

    As for this story, I am wondering about a few things

    • Is bestiality not a crime in the IPC. Does this mean this dude will go to jail for consummating his marriage?

    • Does the Indian state recognize such marriages?

    • If it does recognize, does the dude have another wife. If so, would be he arrested for polygamy?

    • Else again assuming the legality of this marriage, does this mean he wont be able to marry a woman unless he divorces the bitch? What about alimony in that case?

  21. Also, I think it’s totally appropriate for people to bring up serious discussions about religions that are not their own, in a respectful manner, in a space like this- I just didn’t think SM bloggers actually advocate ‘mak[ing] fun of Hinduism’ or any religion, as comment #1 advocates.

  22. Anna should marry a Pakistani Immigrant who cares for the environment and is pro nuke deal in a traditional Hindu marriage ritual to atone her sins of total apathy towards those sets of people.

  23. I think it has less to do with Hinduism as a religion and more to do with rituals/astrology and associated beliefs. I am not sure if analyzing natal charts and prescribing ritualistic solutions are restricted to just the Hindus, I believe it could be anyone with a belief that their present is in some way affected by the past. Just my 2 cents.

  24. Bri#20, holy crap. That tree man story pictures were unbelievable. Like some creature out of a Tim Burton movie. HPV warts, ey. I don’t think any PSA could be as effective as pictures of the tree man. Wow, gross.

    Er, as someone who’s had her beliefs ridiculed by people of other religions, ‘secular Hindus,’ and atheists alike, frankly I’m glad that there are people like anna who try to respect other’s beliefs and tread carefully.

    Nala, you got a point. But if Anna is going to bring it up halfway, she might as well bring up what exactly bothered her about the religion. Otherwise it becomes one of those “You know something is bothering me… oh, never mind” and then you want to ask that person “what? what?” and she will go “oh nothing.”. I am of course, all for free expression. You cannot condemn someone for thinking what is on their mind. When you write for a public blog, it must be tiring to be defensive every single time you want to question a practice. I think Anna should not have to feel stressed to merely express an opinion and that is the impression I get of her whenever she has to write about religious stuff. I do not say she has to be like me who has no problem talking without any kind of filter. But it’s OK to open up more. I am sure a lot of SM readers have her back in case she gets attacked.

  25. you know, I don’t think it’s a half bad idea, psychologically speaking. After all, he’s not going to have sex with the dog. (he’s not right?) It’s just a symbolic gesture to show atonement to the dog community. I’m with you Anna–the thought of stoning anything give me chills ever since I saw that video where the Kurdish girl was stoned by many men. The great philosophical question: how many angels can fit on the head of a pin should be replaced with how many people can get together and stone one other creature to death?

  26. I am not sure if analyzing natal charts and prescribing ritualistic solutions are restricted to just the Hindus, I believe it could be anyone with a belief that their present is in some way affected by the past. Just my 2 cents

    Oh, it’s not. You should have seen the astrological manipulations my Dad and his siblings were attempting, when I landed on the cusp of a nakshatram that wasn’t so auspicious. What’s so wrong about being Chitra? Just because I will bring about the destruction of your house, I mean…sheesh.

  27. I just didn’t think SM bloggers actually advocate ‘mak[ing] fun of Hinduism’ or any religion, as comment #1 advocates.

    I never advocated that. But if someone wants to do that regarding a specific practice, why not. Marrying a dog is ridiculous if it was done without any sense of humor.

    By the way, I was just giving the different options one might use to talk about religion. I never insinuated that SM bloggers actually made fun of religion.

    you want to make fun of Hinduism, or want to question some aspect of it in a serious manner, fire away.

    See the “OR” in my quote. I wasn’t sure what about the religion Anna wanted to comment about it. So I just laid out some options and I was in favor of any of it. It had nothing to do with what I thought SM bloggers adovcated when it came to making fun of religion.

  28. ugh:

    கடந்த 15 ஆண்டுகளுக்கு முன்பு ‘உல்லாசமாக’ இருந்த நாய்களை அடித்து கொன்று மரத்தில் தொங்க விட்டார்.

    translation: Around 15 years ago, he hit and killed two mating dogs and left them to hang from a tree.

    ‘நான் செய்த பாவத்திற்கு பரிகாரம் செய்துள்ளேன். மனைவி செல்வியை பத்திரமாக பார்த்துக்கொள்வேன்’ என்றார்.

    trans: “I’ve atoned for the sin I committed. I will watch carefully over Selvi.” [link]

  29. the thought of stoning anything give me chills ever since I saw that video where the Kurdish girl was stoned by many men.

    Oh, Lea. 🙁 I thought of that, too.

    translation: Around 15 years ago, he hit and killed two mating dogs and left them to hang from a tree.

    Oh my G-d, this just gets worse/sadder with each additional bit of information. Thank you for translating, Vivek.

  30. Now, just to bring up another angle to this story-based just on this picture, the dude hardly looks like he is paralyzed. Note that he is tying something around the animals neck-this requires considerable dexterity of both hands. Soo….hmm how is he paralyzed. Also, he is able to sit crosslegged with an upright posture, again rather difficult to execute if one is ‘paralyzed. Now, I suppose, if it is JUST his feet…again, both feet being paralyzed seems highly suspicious-generally a stroke or spinal cord problems tends to affect one side or another. Something doesn’t add up. Shayad halak gia ho…hehehe..

  31. Imo, articles like this are usually written by reporters who have absolute contempt for the subjects combined with a superiority complex. The guy who symbolically married the dog actually seems way nicer than the reporter. For all his faults, he hasn’t forgetten a mistake he did 15 years earlier.

    And as a symbolic repentance, why is it any worse than praying in mosque/temple/church for forgiveness? And why this intrusion of privacy—making a mockery of this guy worldwide (not that I think the guy would care) simply because the reporter thought s/he was better?

    To me, this is equivalent to a school kid who laughs at a fat person.

  32. Pravin– I understand what you’re saying. I didn’t mean to say that I think that the SM bloggers make fun of religions, but that I’m glad that they try to be respectful and not just ‘make fun’ of religions. This is a very meta discussion that probably gets on their nerves, though, so I’ll stop. Plus, I’m confused with the back-and-forth, heh.

    Marrying a dog is ridiculous if it was done without any sense of humor.

    See, I think it would be more ridiculous if it were a love marriage.

  33. Marrying trees, marrying snakes, now marrying a bitch. Hinduism has become a parody of itself. This is an example of ‘India NOT shining’.

  34. And as a symbolic repentance, why is it any worse than praying in mosque/temple/church for forgiveness?

    I don’t know that it’s worse, it’s just…different. Why not just take care of the dog, why truss it up in a sari and make it go through a wedding? What if the dog didn’t want an arranged marriage? Won’t someone think of HER? 😉

    Upon reflection, it’s starting to remind me of those “shame” cases, where judges sentence people to stand around in a public place while wearing a sandwich board proclaiming something humiliating…

  35. ALC,

    Your statement is hardly called for, instances like these are exceptions rather than the norm and will not define India although Western media perpetuates this image of India as the land of the weird. More and more people are starting the truth for what is and making blanket generalizations doesn’t do any good.

  36. Al_Chutiya_for_debauchery, I can think of other more toxic religious ideas that are having a more negative effect on the world/India

  37. Your statement is hardly called for, instances like these are exceptions rather than the norm and will not define India

    Hmm, this news is all over the web and cable news. Its being emailed like crazy. It will certainly have some impact (however temporary and marginal) on the way people see India. If I had a penny for every freaking time that I have been asked about people worshipping rats in India, I would be richer than Ambani. This is yet another story about the weirdness of India. The story alone will not result in people making up their minds one way or the other, but it will certainly add to ‘India the weird’ perception that people have of India.

  38. ALC,

    The cable news is pandering to western sensibilities, you reality is very different than mine, in my six years in America I have never been asked if people worship rats in India. India is as weird as any other country, it is amplified in the west as it doesn’t adhere to western definition of “Normal”, which btw will make half of the world abnormal. Incidents reported in isolation don’t serve any purpose, there is nothing in hinduism that calls for people marrying animals and coverage afforded to such incidents is for cheap thrill not journalistic reporting. I respectfully disagree with your take and we can discuss if India is shining or not on a more appropriate thread.

  39. I respectfully disagree with your take and we can discuss if India is shining or not on a more appropriate thread.

    India not shining comment was tongue in cheek but at some level it does add to the Indian weirdness factor.

  40. Marrying trees, marrying snakes, now marrying a bitch. Hinduism has become a parody of itself. This is an example of ‘India NOT shining’.

    SM Intern ?

  41. Incidents reported in isolation don’t serve any purpose, there is nothing in hinduism that calls for people marrying animals and coverage afforded to such incidents is for cheap thrill not journalistic reporting.

    I hear you, but I think one of the reasons for the ambiguous discomfort I am experiencing regarding this “news” story is related to what ACD mentioned in his second comment:

    The story alone will not result in people making up their minds one way or the other, but it will certainly add to ‘India the weird’ perception that people have of India.

    When a tip is sent in repeatedly and I hesitate to blog it because my inner fourth-grader is all, “omg, what will white people* think!”, that’s disturbing and telling. I shouldn’t care what people think, about me, my croc MJs, my ethnicity et al. I shouldn’t care what people think about India. But I do. And this blog is visible enough that I have to question such things consistently; as a concern, “what will happen if I post this?”, is omnipresent. Am I complicit in making India look worse? It’s exhausting.

    I read about this on the way to work, was bothered by it, considered blogging it, and then got all clammy with the above inner-monologue. That’s when I realized that as sloppy as a post might turn out, it might be worth putting something out there. I’ve learned from this blog that I’m not special; if I’m feeling something, there’s a solid possibility some of you are, too.

    *my fourth grade class was very monochromatic

  42. ptr_vivek, would you or ACFD feel the same if I made the same comment about ACFD’s faith ?

  43. translation: Around 15 years ago, he hit and killed two mating dogs and left them to hang from a tree.

    eek. that is indefensible. it does bring up questions of punishment vs. rehabilitation though. though i guess his marriage to this ‘bitch’ could be seen as a little bit of both. 😉

  44. The story alone will not result in people making up their minds one way or the other, but it will certainly add to ‘India the weird’ perception that people have of India.

    So what.. big deal.. There are also news stories about India sending satellites to orbit the space. People can read whatever they want and can think whatever they want.

    If at all, I’d like more such stories about men and women marrying trees / snakes / dogs / whatever they want without getting dragged into parliamentary / prime ministerial debates on who should be allowed to marry whom. 🙂