And all she got was a bun.

Wow, more weird India news! Yay!.jpg

Allow me to preempt someone from asking why I chose to write this story. No, really, let’s get it out of the way, this nimisham:

• Did this really have to be blogged?

• Slow news day?

• Aren’t X,Y and Q more important?

• And furthermore, doesn’t your lack of blogging X,Y and Q indicate that you are a heartless bitch who doesn’t care about Pakistan/the Nuke Deal/the environment/immigration??

Yes,

maybe,

perhaps and

refer to my finger, for that last one. It’s an extra-challenging week at work, so I can’t write anything dazzling, not that the performances which I usually phone in are sublime. I don’t have much time, but when something’s on my mind, it’s easier (read: cathartic) to type, so a “Musings” post it shall be.

Unless you were the last person to be found during hide and seek yesterday, you have heard the cringe-inducing-on-so-many-levels news about an Indian man “marrying” a dog (thanks, Aggiebabe). It is somewhat like the whole “Aish weds trees…twice”-fiasco…except in TMBWITW’s case, she was doing it to compensate for her apparently unfortunate nakshatram and not because she had killed two trees.

An Indian man has “married” a female dog, hoping the move will help atone for stoning two other dogs to death.
P Selvakumar, 33, said he had been cursed since the killings, suffering paralysis and a loss of hearing.
The wedding took place at a Hindu temple in Tamil Nadu state. The “bride” wore an orange sari with a flower garland and was fed a bun to celebrate.
Superstitious people in rural India sometimes organise weddings to animals in the hope of warding off curses.[BBC]

Buried among the hundreds of jokes which punsters are giddily guffawing over (enjoy your free pass to bitch about how the bride is a bitch…but more on that later) is to me the most appalling aspect of this story; this man killed two innocent, defenseless creatures.

I didn’t know how he killed them until I settled in to my seat on the subway this morning and found out that he had stoned them. That detail bothered me so much, because my imagination doesn’t need any assistance in recreating actual events. Have you ever seen an animal cowering in front of a human? Yelping and whimpering out of fear and pain? It’s heartbreaking, but that’s what this so-called man saw, as he brutally stoned two dogs. I remember the way our late German Shepherds looked terrified and anxious, when they were merely being scolded…and that was after they had committed capital offenses, like uprooting our only curry leaf plant.These dogs must have been perplexed as to why they were being hunted down by this sadist. The whole crime makes that red, squishy thing in the middle of my chest ache a little bit. Achtung, it’s lame that I have to assert this, but I’m not some granola-lite, bleeding heart Aggie who puts the welfare of puppies over people—no, I’m someone who, like most of you, is well aware of the connection between perpetrating violence against animals and committing it on humans.

Many studies in psychology, sociology, and criminology during the last 25 years have demonstrated that violent offenders frequently have childhood and adolescent histories of serious and repeated animal cruelty. The FBI has recognized the connection since the 1970s, when its analysis of the lives of serial killers suggested that most had killed or tortured animals as children. Other research has shown consistent patterns of animal cruelty among perpetrators of more common forms of violence, including child abuse, spouse abuse, and elder abuse. In fact, the American Psychiatric Association considers animal cruelty one of the diagnostic criteria of conduct disorder. [woof]

Dogs and cats are simple, available targets, and practice makes perfect, if the definition of perfection involves torture and murder. What else has this person done? And to whom? And I recognize that I was born here, in the first world, that I am privileged because of that and thus view this news story through my very American eyes, but at least I’m aware of this heinous flaw o’ mine. At least I am ashamed that I have this privilege to be bothered by what some consider a triviality.

But he killed two dogs. That’s all my mind returns, when I pause between Outlook storms. Maybe I should add the Humane Society to my slowly-expanding list of Causes on Facebook, since I’m obsessed with this. And dogs in general (and this cat, but she’s the exception which proves the rule).

Back to our story- after slaying two canines, the groom lost his hearing and according to most stories I’ve read, became paralyzed. Obviously this is divine retribution for being such a flaming merde-bag, oui? Oui. How could one fix this? But of course! Have him marry a dog! Easy atonement, even as such atoning is gleefully retold the world over, ensuring that some desi kid at a less progressive, less diverse school– like the ones I went to– will be having a GREAT recess and lunch period.

Crowds cheered the newly-weds at the end of the ceremony in Sivaganga district, about 50km (30 miles) east of the city of Madurai.
The “bride”, who is called Selvi, was led to the temple in Manamudurai wearing a sari before vows were exchanged in a traditional Hindu ceremony.
A relative of the groom who attended the wedding said he hoped Mr Selvakumar would now be cured.
“Fifteen years back Selvakumar was physically fit. But, once he attacked a pair of dogs and thereafter Kumar could not move his limbs freely,” the relative, Ramu, told the BBC.
“He tried every cure for his ailment but could not be rid of his disability.
“On the advice of an astrologer and others, he decided to marry a bitch to get cured. Then we arranged Selvakumar’s marriage with a bitch.” [BBC]

Who is going to look after that bitch and protect her from abuse–no, I don’t want to get in the possibilities– or is the prevailing assumption that he’s learned his lesson and now will behave? Speaking of “bitch”, that is the final snag on my mental stockings—the B word. Is “bitch” commonly-used in India? Does it have the same connotations? Yes, it’s an even more trivial triviality, atop that other triviality, i.e. my soft shpot for dogs.

This entire story leaves me feeling weird and I don’t feel like I have the “privilege” to explore one of the other aspects of it, which is bothering me- religion. I don’t know enough about Hinduism and though I eat like one, I’m certainly not Hindu. What does this story tell the world (or us, or martians, or…) about religion and what we are willing to tolerate within it?

Then again, maybe there’s some weird Christian tradition that makes even less sense to some girl in Madurai*, I don’t know. Maybe she’s not even thinking of such things. Maybe she’s already rolled her eyes, written this off as mega-superstitiousness which has nothing to do with her or the life she leads, and moved on. I wish I could shake this or make sense of the maelstrom this story evoked within, as easily.

*the closest city to where this happened, I think.

410 thoughts on “And all she got was a bun.

  1. Perhaps it is a geographic difference? I grew up in a more urban area, where it’s less likely for people to own pets (unless they can afford dog-walkers).

    Nala, I grew up in an urban area too (Hyderabad) but it’s not unusual for people to have yards big enough to leave their dogs outside even in the middle of the city. (or they let them wander around in the street with the stray dogs and they get rabies, which happened to a friend of mine, or to her dog, she didn’t get rabies herself). Some of my relatives with dogs lived in apartments and walked their own dogs every day. Some of these people had a lot of money, but some were just standard middle class people. I don’t think treating a dog like a human is a luxury requiring a lot of money; it’s an attitude towards the dog and the value you place on its life. In the United States, some of the best-loved, and best-trained dogs, belong to homeless people, because dogs thrive more on human companionship than they do on fancy food or grooming. (They also thrive on having a job so hunting/farm dogs can be happy even if they have less direct contact with their humans).

    But it probably is true that the dogs owned per capita are fewer in India than in the US…anyone have a statistic for this?

  2. with your specific perspective

    Since you’re entering the business of calling out others for their assumptions, while making callous one’s on your own…

    Growing up, I had actually been a part of a Bible study group for maybe 6 months, when I say study, I mean for study for kids, so we’d memorize certain biblical passages and sing the christian songs, etc… (my folks and our extended family believed in a global view of understanding religion, and wanted us to learn about others in a more substantive way) the funny thing is, when we left the program, the church was surprised, as they thought we were there to “learn the true gospel” instead of our heathen backward monkey worshipping, we calmly explained our goal was to simply broaden our vision.

    SM Intern, sorry for continued off topic discussion, but since razib is a little darling around here, I figured responding to his ‘ 4 am ejaculation’ would be alright, but delete if thou willest.

  3. SM Intern, sorry for continued off topic discussion,

    Actually, it was RTC who ignored the intern first and went right back to religion, not you.

    but since razib is a little darling around here,

    If your comment deserved to be deleted for anything, it was that stupid potshot. And from you of all people. Do you know how many times I’ve been asked about why you haven’t been banned? Darling? Everyone is a darling here, as long as they’re not an asshole.

  4. Do you know how many times I’ve been asked about why you haven’t been banned?

    Probably a lot. Hell, sometimes, I wonder the same question. I have been banned before, but then re-instated, with a reason never given (not that I care, I understand you folks dont have the time to go around answering everyone’s little quibbles, but just stating it)

    If you think those askers have merit, by all means don’t hold back.

    Everyone is a darling here,

    Cmon Anna, You know that is never true, in any setting. Each class has a teacher’s pet, each work group has the “favored employee” , hell I’m sure the even guards at Guantanamo have their fav. detainee, that they abuse the least.

  5. Nala, I grew up in an urban area too (Hyderabad) but it’s not unusual for people to have yards big enough to leave their dogs outside even in the middle of the city. (or they let them wander around in the street with the stray dogs and they get rabies, which happened to a friend of mine, or to her dog, she didn’t get rabies herself). Some of my relatives with dogs lived in apartments and walked their own dogs every day. Some of these people had a lot of money, but some were just standard middle class people. I don’t think treating a dog like a human is a luxury requiring a lot of money; it’s an attitude towards the dog and the value you place on its life. In the United States, some of the best-loved, and best-trained dogs, belong to homeless people, because dogs thrive more on human companionship than they do on fancy food or grooming. (They also thrive on having a job so hunting/farm dogs can be happy even if they have less direct contact with their humans). But it probably is true that the dogs owned per capita are fewer in India than in the US…anyone have a statistic for this?

    The ‘more urban area’ I referenced before was actually NYC, though I think it applies to Hyderabad too. See, my experience of Hyderabad is completely different from yours. I also don’t know as much about animals, so I’ll just leave it at saying that we probably won’t be able to make larger generalizations without some studies to back us up.

  6. Do you know how many times I’ve been asked about why you haven’t been banned? Darling? Everyone is a darling here, as long as they’re not an asshole.

    I sure would miss HMF if he were to be banned. I don’t know the entire history, but as far as I can tell, his comments are OK in my books, even if I may not agree with him, or if some discussions come back to the recurrent theme, as Camille said.