MUTINEERS,
I am saddened to report the sudden and unexpected demise of our beloved friend, Whoa– is dating White not right? (July 28, 2007 -August 1, 2007).
Right was born in an indie coffee shop, in the heart of Washington, D.C., via the twin modern miracles of a stickered, 12″ iBook and wifi. In his short life, he profoundly affected many mutineers; Right challenged long-held assumptions, enlightened us about dozens of subjects and was a welcoming, tolerant figure in our community. He will be missed.
In lieu of flowers, Right’s grieving family humbly requests that when SM does its annual plea for donations to keep the site going, a la PBS/NPR, you contribute a rupee or two in his memory, especially since his Mother HATES ADS AND WILL NEVER AGREE TO HAVING THEM ON THIS SITE.
::
I had to close the uber-thread. 🙁
Many of you are writing to me, letting me know that you can no longer access it. Not sure what’s going on, but I can’t see new comments, either, which means I can’t moderate…so unfortunately, the party is over…not that I needed to do a lot of moderating in the first place. 🙂
I am delighted; considering the provocative subject material, there was far less ickiness, trolling or flaming than one might expect. All credit for that goes to you.
Thanks for one of the most lively, fascinating and relevant discussions we’ve ever had– and don’t fret, my pets…plenty of you left comments which could be spun off in to so many different threads, about queer dating, seduction via bharatnatyam, evaluating what’s worse– emasculation or exoticization, outting Iyengars, South Asian inter-religious/regional relationships, where to find B-Boy/punker Punjabis, how to procure puliyodarai, internalized self-hatred as evidenced by externalized comment-stupidity, whether I-Bankers are evil, where to find the mythical straight-haired, hyper-maintained desi goddesses whose knickers disintegrate for private equity types, San Francisco’s alternately sucky/fantastic dating scene and of course, HAIR.
More of all that, soon. In the meanwhile, pour a little sum’n out for “Right”, the next time libations are flowing. Sigh. Time to cue Tupac:
Rest in peace young homie, there’s a heaven for a G…
whats that?
kuta=dog
That was hilarious, Anna. (Though my heart skipped a beat when i started reading.. didn’t notice the humo[u]r label).
Some days I wish I were a Martian so I don’t have to decipher all the cardinal,
I wonder if Martians say, “some days I wish I was desi so I dont have to decipher all the quirky, fungus-driven, redplanet laden issues there are with being green”
Phew, so it wasn’t my ‘puter? Lost access to the thread on Monday and just watched the comments numbers going through the roof in jealousy …
RIP WIDWNR
You must be new here. SM is regularly asked “why not put up ads and make some money off this thing?”. Anna regularly voices strong objections to ads and the sentence you chose to focus your impaired thought process on (more on that later) was a humorous reference to nothing more than that.
Anna “cut it off” herself. She stated as much in this post, did you miss that? So are you asking if she is disgruntled at herself? Or are you so excited to slam her, you didn’t pay attention to actual facts?
It is her own blog site. It’s Abhi’s own blog site. It’s Amitabh’s, Rahul’s, Lizzie’s, JoaT’s, Jeet’s, HMF’s, Camille’s, Milli’s, and everyone else’s. I’m not sure where your “Dear Abbey” (that’s misspelled, by the way) diss is coming from, since that format has rarely been done here, but for your information, other readers have actually requested such a thing. Repeatedly.
No, you mean keep writing posts YOU think are good. The problem is, you don’t seem to realize that your opinion is no more valuable than anyone else’s. Glad to disabuse such amazing misapprehensions, sadly, doubt it clarified anything.
Where to send the check
I used to not have any problem dating any other race. but it hink it would just make life easier if she was brown….
is there any indian fashion blog around?
does sepia mutiny count as a non profit for tax purposes? (i know. geeky banker question. im not evil.)
and we come back.. full circle
which brnad of coconut oil is in this year. page 6 girl with her pallu down. scandlous.
Why do you think that? Like, because of cultural issues?
I often find I have way more in common with guys who grew up in the same “neighborhood”/socio-economic class/family structure/decade that I did, regardless of skin color or relative desi-ness. There are so many variations within the term “desi” anyway. Although, it seems like this must have already been discussed on the previous thread.
Over and out.
Dearest Intern, I could access the thread, also, but it was taking a really long time to load (understandably). That said, I did feel a bit of shock — like someone had slapped me — when I went to comment and found it shut down. I’m glad to hear we didn’t strangely go crazy and illicit a smackdown 🙂
ak, that’s funny — my parents’ preferences used to be 1. Punjabi, 2. Sikh, etc., but now it is definitely 1. Sikh, 2. Who cares?
Not an evil question at all– I’m sure others have wondered about similar. I doubt that we do, since we’re not a non-profit, we have no tax i.d. # or other formal stuff. SM’s administration/organiztion is/always has been very ad hoc. 🙂
this has nothing to do with me. if the grl is brown, parents automatically assume they are more like me. mainly to keep them happy. i couldnt give a $hit…
how does one become a maniacle sm intern. i would like to do that….
Maybe the topic merits the first-ever SM Conference?
was tulsidas talking about hittin skinny straight haired detrius though?
Some comments from previous posts
Rahul, I am surprised nobody jumped on that!
Puli, I think every desi guy in his midtolate twenties has heard that from his dear mata
The ironic thing about that is that i found out that the specific grl my parents were talking about had a secret boyfriend that daddy didnt know about! HA!
the meetups aint good enough 4 u?
Puli, Tulsi was most definitely talking about skinny long haired detritus. That’s all they had back in the day. And I may be mistaken, it could actually be Kabir as someone pointed out. Although I always found Kabir more poetic and deep and Tulsi, sorta sanctimonius so i thought maybe it was Tulsi that wrote the lines I quoted.
Jeet, i would have been all over that comment except that the queer silence may have become deafening after that.
I think the only way this thread can die is when the snake swallows its tail whole. Not that I am complaining.
Rob, good luck mate.
thats how they take it in every orifice possible, as ANNA likes to put it. Comeon Puli, practice makes perfect. Why would you want somebody inexperienced?? @;-)
thats disturbing. i need to shower now…
i also find that having a strong tie to ethnic roots helps – no matter what the ethnicity. i’ve seen this with a lot of my non-ethnic american friends – sometimes it’s difficult for them to understand the little intricacies of having an ethnic culture. on the other hand, just understanding the value of the ethnic culture (in one’s life) is undertestimated. for instance, my brother is a total coconut, which is fine, but if culture’s not important to him, despite having been exposed to it, will he necessarly understand the importance of his wife’s culture (if there is any)? in that sense, going desi might even have disadvantages, depending on what your SO’s experience has been…
sorry
that should’ve been followed with, and still be a “virgin”.
dude, wtf?
thats even more disturbing….im just going to stay single and spend all my time collecting degrees after work.
Jeet, I said pipeS. What do you think, I am some mutant from Total Recall?
Erm, delirium tremens, when you say snake and tail…
For my money, the most memorable moment from that thread is the visual I have in my head of Pondatti scratching her head and eyeing malathi suspiciously.
The more the merrier 😉 that was just what every guy wants and to see it come true, I think i cried a little
It’s my fault. I’m very vocal (in part because it’s some of my best stand-up material) about my bitterness towards certain vomen who loved destroying my rep (“she’s in a sorority and she is a total whore!”), despite my living with my parents all four years, as if they were snow-pure in comparison…I just think that if you’re going to take it in the ass, you’re not a virgin, no matter how many times you assure yourself of the contrary. 😉
according to bill clinton, BJ’s dont count….i suppose thats the same kind of logic.
I gotta break this news to all my exes and their fiancés!
ewww…TMI.
I gotta drive my rents to “who cares” stage and then I am GOLDEN!
Maybe DQ is in one of the areas where there aren’t mutineers =/
Oh, and for HMF:
I’m sure that’s true — my parents are pretty exceptional (in my experience). For them, earning your way is a necessary condition. This extends to having kids, also. They think it’s fine to take off time, but if one is going to do so she had better have a crap load of money saved to support herself and the baby and still have a financial nest egg/security net. I think this is due in part to their experiences with recession and unemployment in the U.S., but also probably because they have seen women in failed marriages feel “trapped” by their lack of financial autonomy.
Oh, and with respect to other gender norms. My parents don’t feel that women should not cook, sew, etc., but they do expect my brother to be able to do these things. In fact, in my fam, my brother is by far the best chef/cook, and he can definitely take care of basic darning/sewing (alterations are a bit trickier). I’m not saying there weren’t double standards when we grew up — there were –, but my parents did have pretty universal/consistent expectations of the three of us.
Rahul, aren’t you too old for me, anyway? At any rate, I am already on the “not wedded to breeding” track. 🙂 [I was going to make a crass joke, but I’ll refrain]
Puli,
You think a meetup can get this topic out of everyone’s system?
Yeah, and Jeet – ewwwww. Now someone’s gonna get on here and eloquently espouse the merits of anal.
No. 🙂
humans can talk about b*nging for the next thousand years.
I was kidding people, sheesh. or do you want me to go and use mouthwash?
yes please…
I totally agree. If not ethnic ties, at least a sense of community helps. (it’s not required, but it does make it a bit easier to relate)
I totally agree. It’s called anal sex for a reason. I don’t know why people are so preoccupied with their hymens. If you’re getting some, enjoy it and be happy/comfortable with yourself. Besides, are they seriously saying they take it up the backside but don’t have dildos/vibes or engage in digital stimulation? Please.
Jeet, do what I did and tell them the following: 1. I think I’m going to leave the religion and marry an atheist white guy with tattoos. 2. Actually, forget that. Mom, what if I told you I’m a lesbian?
Seriously, after that nothing was scary to them.
Do desi parents do some version of that “wash your mouth out with soap” punishment? Mine didn’t. I just got whacked.
my mom just said “Wiat till appa comes home” then appa would dispense with the whacking. quite effective.
when i told my parents im an atheist they didnt really care…
Jeet, I nominate you to play the Steve Carrell character in the American version of The Orifice for your ability to effortlessly create a dense minefield, and continue soldiering on manfully through it.
Perhaps a bulletin board system like bulletin or invision would allow certain topics to be discussed for long periods of time.
I do know what Martians do often say though “Lets skip these planet, these brown people are smart and complicated and crazy.” 🙂
I second that. You take it anywhere you aren’t a virgin anymore as much as you’d like to believe (in my books). Lets not try to pull a Bill Clinton shall we.