Several months ago, we received the same tip so many times, I started deleting my emails, because I knew exactly what they contained. Read or unread, every one of them was an exclamation-point-enhanced reference to a certain BBC South Asia article which heralded: Condoms ‘too big’ for Indian men
Finally, Siddhartha took one for the team and posted the mildly infamous, Oh, All Right. But You Asked For It, which immediately exploded in to a 400+ comment orgy about the injustice of it all.
Fast forward to last night, when Conan mentioned a related bit of news in his monologue, which, after some googling, I found here. My brown brothers, take heart.
From News-Medical.Net:
Women are much more interested in a man’s personality and looks than the size of his penis, but men can experience real anxiety even if they are average sized, according to a research review published in the June issue of the urology journal BJU International.
And this is all based on
the findings of more than 50 international research projects into penile size and small penis syndrome carried out since 1942
Men, it’s all in your head:
A survey of over 50,000 heterosexual men and women found that 66 per cent of men said their penis was average sized, 22 per cent said large and 12 per cent said small. 85 per cent of women were satisfied with their partner’s penile size, but only 55 per cent of men were satisfied.
The commenter formerly known as Prince Al Mujahid for Debauchery quite rightly asked:
What about the girth????????
Your eight question marks now have an answer:
Two studies reported that 90 per cent of women prefer a wide penis to a long one. Other studies pointed out that the issue of male attractiveness was complex, but that penile size was not the most important factor for women.
Maybe y’all asked for it, with all that surreptitious pr0n watching:
One study found that 63 per cent of men complaining of small penises said their anxieties started with childhood comparisons and 37 per cent blamed erotic images viewed in their teenage years. None of the men studied actually had a micropenis.
Quondam guest blogger Sin really might be superior… 😉
Another report based on data collected by Kinsey in the 1940s reported that, on average, homosexual men had larger penises than heterosexual men. The report authors suggest that exposure to male reproductive hormones in the womb may be one explanation.
VINDICATED! The wrong Asian was fingered for the “too small” distinction:
The review also provided little evidence of racial differences, with the exception of one Korean study where the men had smaller than average-sized penises. The authors suggest this area needs further investigation.
And the final sepia connection comes from our superior self-improvement skills:
Evidence on the effectiveness of vacuum devices, penile extenders and traction devices was found to be limited, but the authors noted that patients may experience psychological benefits from some of them.
(from earlier in the article)…Indian Sadhus men are known to use weights to increase the length of their penis
Spoor Lam’s saffron brigade doesn’t have a monopoly on shockingly successful techniques:
Wylie and Eardley also looked at the bizarre practices used by men worldwide to enhance the size of their penis, including the Topinama of Brazil, who encourage poisonous snakes to bite their penises to enlarge them for six months!
…Dayak men in Borneo pierce the glans of their penis and insert items into the holes to stimulate their partner.
Men worry too much. Stop sweating the small stuff. 😉
Clearly!
By that measure, I can guarantee you that there is a such thing as being too big. While women may be looking for an average number of inches, if you are monstrously huge that is going to hurt! Sorry you’re getting used for your body, ST 😉
KXB, this is an even better way not to get laid than “I wouldn’t mind miscegenating.”
I hope so too. I now drive a all black car with a purple driver side door. Pucking mechanic didnt have a black one.
As Roosevelt is famously quoted: “speak softly and carry a big stick”
I for one wish to speak loudly and carry a much more average size stick!!
It’s not about the size of the stick. It’s all about how quickly you can win a three-legged race.
I havent seen you around the office. whend’you get here?
I’m the one hiding under the desk Costanza-style trying to finish my epic screenplay…
Then you better hope we never have an earthquake-scare.
‘coach, i don’t know how detailed you want to get with the 9th graders, but what about the female orgasm? a substantial amount of women (maybe even the majority) cannot orgasm by plain intercourse, and need oral or digital stimulation to get off. so penis size becomes that much less improtant for many women. this is clearly not on the outside, but as you mentioned, it really does take technique and knowledge. ‘
This is actually what I was referring to. I get VERY detailed with them and had mentioned this. We even talked about what the woman’s orgasm is for and the four stages of sexual response. I just don’t give them directions per se. 🙂 (Some of them have asked…)
Coach grows cooler with every comment. Wish I had been lucky enough to have a teacher like you!
according to Razib’s blog, international condom sizes are too big for men from Germany too.
coach, your sex ed class sounds way better than my sex ed class, where we (my soph classmates and I) had to explain to our teacher what a dental dam was for, among other things. Seriously, anything that helps youngsters understand that one’s sex life is not as simplistic as a porno sounds good to me. 🙂
coach, you are brilliant. i really wish i had had a teacher who understood the need to be so frank with kids about sex.
It’s all about a lack of confidence. Even if a fella’s experiencing, uhh, “shrinkage,” if he shows that he’s a sane, confident person in the bedroom as he is in his public existence, then size almost becomes moot. Self-consciousness in the bedroom is such a turn-off and I think that crosses lines of all sexuality.
But there are always exceptions. Straight brown guys don’t realize how lucky they are, as the women they mostly deal with are smart and know what they want.
Try being a brown gay guy who’s got to sort through other guys at the bar who think that sex with an Indian guy is some kind of way to be “spiritual” or have a “taste of the exotic” — in addition to having to shut the guy up when he says something silly like, “How big are you?” You want to throw your margarita at them and tell them to piss off.
Straight guys, when you find a good girl, hold onto them tight ’cause chances are, they’re too good for you. Chances are also that they don’t care about the size of your instrument so long as you know how to use it.
Interesting idea, one up on it would be to have kids type them up and submit them. I’d be worried my teacher/other students would be able to identify my handwriting. but I’m paranoid like that.
I remember in health class, we had a psycho teacher who asked all the guys, “if you were going out with a girl and she agreed to have sex then said no the last minute, what would you say?” Then she went around the room and asked all the guys to answer out loud.
Everyone just answered with a curt “I’d be fine with it” – just what the teach wanted to hear.
as hemingway once told fitzgerald, it’s not the size that matters, it’s the angle.
I thought I read somewhere that Hemingway’s war wound made him impotent, and there was some element of this in Jake Barnes in the Sun Also Rises. Is that true?
Coach, I think you should start writing your own Diesel Love column.
rahul, i’ve heard the same. it makes sense that some of jake barne’s war wounds would be hemingway’s as well. but nothing to back it up. love that book.
It’s no Old Man and the Sea. But I’m one of those heretical Hemingway non-fans. I guess I must not be a REAL AMERICAN MAN.
People, show some stamina. Comments seem to be coming only in spurts now. Don’t let the thread flag! Surely, we can do what it takes to get it up for 2 days in a row?
Lol.
despite previous vigorous protests, it seems your performance is, indeed, flopping. guess those rumours i heard about you were true, after all. is your desperate hope of keeping this thread open a cry for self-affirmation?
indeed, one of my ex-boyfriends actually told me he used scientific calculations – specifically, angles, based on my gait – when figuring out the proper technique for oral and digital stimulation. in hindsight, i tend not to believe a single word he said, but even if it was bullshit, the boy delivered.
speaking of skill – shouldn’t that be included somewhere in your 3-point analysis, rahul?
wtf?? the angle is important to be sure, but i don’t see what that’s got to do with gait. but always willing to learn :). whats the formula?
Well, ak, I’ve tried but I can’t pull this comment train all by myself. It that’s failure, then so be it.
As for skill, hmm, that graph is fast becoming more complex than a 1040. But, what the hell, I’ll tack on a schedule A to capture this information.
bytewords, sorry, i cannot recount the details. if it helps, he said it had partly to do with the tilt of the pelvis when i walk. as to how that translated in his formula, i felt asking too many questions would jinx a good thing.
bytewords, some tips on the rhythm method.
‘Coach, I think you should start writing your own Diesel Love column‘
Oh, it’s coming!
I can see it now…Question from last week…Coach-Can you still get knocked up if you hit it from da back? 😉
Whats the proof that black men are enormously big… maybe with Orientials, since they are small-built in general, we can safely assume that they are indeed small, as far as anatomy is concerned. But I don’t buy this jazz that since blacks are so aggressive by nature, it must reflect on their anatomy.
As far as Indians go… if this is true about them being small, does not eating meat have anything to do with it?
Perhaps we were a little overanxious? Fast out of the gate with the penis humor, and now we have prematurely elucidated all the finer points of penile function?
ak, bytewords, the real question is: did he use his TI-89 to calculate the angles and speed?
To prove that I am no two-post boast, I’ll end the willie, won’t he game to make sure this thread isn’t of less than average length. But you do have to grant me some width. I guarantee you’ll like my angle though.
Anyway, here’s the link. Seems like India is falling short in other areas too! Win one for the Dipper!
That’s easy. If you are doing the hittin’, it’s unlikely you’re going to get knocked up, front OR back.
That’s the cialliest thing I’ve ever heard. Call me cocky, but I’m not going to dignify it with a viagrous protest.
Wow, you can walk and be chewed (yes, I am the king of romance) at the same time? Lyndon (tee hee) Johnson would’ve been impressed. Sort of.
camille – it was the TI-92, actually!
don’t make fun of the king – see how he just chose to show me one dark luscious nipple? that man knows how to seduce. as for your MO – perhaps not slick enough for most ladies. if you took an entire year to hold hands in a theatre, perhaps your protest would be a little too viagrous.
as for being chewed and walking at the same time – sounds painful. i’m sure the men would not find it appealing if the situation was reversed. but perhaps experiments are required?
I am all for the scientific method as advocated by Popper.
Considering the provocative subject matter, this thread is rather flaccid. Too hot today to hit it, eh?
I have. ::: reowrr ::: ‘Twasn’t a monster, but it was good for its intended purpose. Unfortunately, its possessor knew not what to do with it.
I met a man (whose ding-dong I never saw for myself) who claimed to be 11.5″. What was I expected to do with that? Something like that has no functional purpose, and is only good for decoration.
The smallest one (in all categories) I’ve encountered belongs to a Malu. But I don’t think that it was because he’s a Malu. He sure strutted around like it was big. But it wasn’t. 🙁
It is definitely right that without girth, length doesn’t do much. But everything in moderation, kids.
I don’t think there is a rule of thumb that applies consistently.
Regardless, fellas, whatever you have, use it well. Even if it looks perfect, if you don’t know what to do with, what’s the point?
Oh, Pondatti, surely you realize that ‘taint o’er till it’s o’er.
I rest comfortably on my throne my children. On the damn’ throne. 😉
Kidding aside though, I don’t necessarily know if the racial stereotypes are always valid when it comes to penis size. I’ve met some seriously hung Asian and East Asian guys, not to mention some kinda teeny black men and “Latin lover” types, so I’ve stopped expecting anything on the basis of ethnicity or nationality.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/4155390.stm?lsm
Large condoms for S African men A range of extra-large condoms has been launched in South Africa, to cater for “well-endowed” men.
“A large number of South African men are bigger and complain about condoms being uncomfortable and too small,” said Durex manager Stuart Roberts.
Aids activists say the new condom could encourage men to practise safe sex in South Africa, where some 6m are HIV positive – more than any other country.
Some South Africans are reluctant to use condoms, says activist Thandi Xolo.
Mr Xolo, from the National Association of People Living With HIV/Aids (Napwa), said both men and women fear being labelled as promiscuous if they are seen with condoms.
Hmmm, Sin. Maybe you tend to go for people with much more than the standard deviation.
Slow and steady, woman. Slow and steady.
amen to that… and just you know, to clarify or maybe to put it out there (no pun intended) the ones I’ve encoutered with the impressive packages and really knew how to use it… and use it well, were sardars (yep, those hot keshdari men who i look at as a personal centerfold). there i said it. (with that I soooo miss Pattie Kaur, what ever happend to her??). I’d like to think that size, girth and proper knowledege of use have something to do with regional location but then again looking through this thread, it could be accredited to so many things.
tash, it’s not just the Taj Mahal. The Hindus have passed on this gem of useful knowledge – “it’s not length, it’s girth”, through the Shiva Lingam.
Alright, this is becoming downright onanistic with nobody else participating in the fun!
Rahul # 142….
it’s kinda like afterglow… you know?? 😉
But how long does it take to collectively roll over and smoke a cigarette? Or cry?
seriously? was it you or her?
It is such a disappointment that people don’t know gender roles anymore. Men smoke and then nod off. Women cry. The self-help section is never wrong.
what, no second helpings? personally, i like to rally the troop(s) with some disco dancing until they are ready for the second round. and by troops, i include myself, since i have a tendency to nod off. any mention of that in your handy little book?
My soldier is capable of locking and loading at a moment’s notice. Although he prefers body armor.
No worries about him stayin’ alive either.
those women with whom you have sexual relations – how i do envy them. i can see why you have to fend them off on a regular basis.