[NB: Men, small children and intellectuals- pretend to look elsewhere and feign a lack of interest, even though I know you’re going to read every esoteric word.]
Well-maintained humans, I have a problem.
I hate my tweezers.
I have every right to, they came in one of those awful pre-filled manicure kits that no one deserves to receive for Chrismukkah, no matter how evil they’ve been. I have been able to “get by” because I only used them once in a while. That’s why I never really noticed how worthless they are. How is this possible, you wonder incredulously? I have a shameful secret which is so hideous, none dare to believe it once it is revealed.
I have no eyebrows.
No, I didn’t over-tweeze like we all did when we were eleven. I didn’t lose them in an unfortunate smelting accident, nor did I singe them off while learning how to use that stove thingy with the…fire…and stuff. Uh-huh, I was born with no eyebrows, courtesy of my dear Father’s genetics, though considering everything else he gave me, I guess I’d be an ungrateful little shit if I dwell on this for too long.
My father had sparse eyebrows but he also started to grey at 30, so by the time I could even notice his brows, he was in his early 40s. Bare as they were, white hair on dark brown skin is ultra-obvious, so he wasn’t affected by his browlessness. I on the other hand, have had my chin grabbed and my face ruthlessly examined by Auntie after Auntie, who if I’m lucky, muttered something about how I once looked a bit like Hema Malini before I got all black and if I’m REALLY lucky…well, they declare something about how a face is useless unless the eyes are beautiful and the eyes, they are the worthless as the Manolo would say, without the brows. “Sho! Kashtam. No wonder you aren’t married.”
So I haven’t had to use tweezers all that much and whenever I did, I’d just borrow my Mom’s because hers worked. But now…I don’t know if mine have gone dull or if my hand-eye coordination is poo; they don’t grip a thing. I just can’t see the point of getting my brows “done”, not when they barely grow in the first place. In the picture you see above, which was taken during the only trip to Devon Avenue I’ve ever made, I got threaded.
Why? I was caught up in the brownosity of it all; Devon Avenue seemed way more desi than University Avenue, though it wasn’t quite Jackson Heights. After buying a new sari and bangles, eating fantastic chaat and drinking far too much good stuff, I wanted to experience the only part of the street I hadn’t thus far– the beauty parlors. Much like the first time my awe-stricken kundi trudged through Queens, I was amazed at the fact that there were salons that were staffed with and served just desis; as a righteous and deprived thenga, I found such a concept inconceivable.
So, in I went and when I requested getting my brows threaded, the woman pointedly asked, “Why?”. “Please,” I implored “I have to go to an engagement in two hours!” and she shrugged. After all, an idiot and her rupees are soon threaded. And a few seconds after this shot was taken, she stood back and announced, “done!”
I had felt a little something and noticed no discernable difference, but I was tickled anyway. Threaded! I got threaded! I finally, fleetingly felt at one with the South Asian “experience”.
So, unless it’s an adventure in beauty like that was, I’m not getting my brows done and that is why I need new tweezers. Now quit holding out on me– what do YOU use? Share your wisdom, so that other clueless fur balls will find it when they google this embarrassing topic in the years to come. 😉
Speaking of eyebrowless freaks…
🙂
Shruti ~ I totally agree with ya. I REFUSE to friggin’ deal with continous arm and leg waxing and shaving and plucking blah blah blah…My bf doesn’t do it (thank god) … why the heck should us women spend hours and hours doing this when it just grows back so soon…argh. In fact, I’ve been told I look younger when I haven’t plucked or threaded for a long time. I’ll take that over perfect eyebrows anyday. 😉
Plus, my parents say that being on the “hairy” side is LUCKY for a girl…teehee. All that testosterone I suppose?
But for my wedding of course I’ll need to get these arms waxed (for henna purposes). Not looking forward to that.
This is one area where I have no real expertise. While not blessed with a thick and luscious mane like ANNA and some other ladies here, I was born with decent eyebrows that rarely need depilating. Yet, I keep one of these Revlon babies handy just in case something unsightly rears its ugly head.
Ooh, you do have very nice shapely brows! Lucky 🙂 (Incidentally, is the name of that place really “Cooter’s”? Sorry. I’m a 14 year old boy.)
Thanks, Rupa! The brows were inherited from my mother who, in the oh-so-fashionable late 70s, decided to pluck hers to oblivion after which they never really grew back. Now, with greying brows, she really has to pick and choose what to get rid of lest she get a votai (hole) in her brows. Most Indian women have naturally thick (read: beautiful) brows that the vestern vomen lust after, so we’ve got it going on, y’all. Just a little pluck here and there should do.
As for Cooter’s, it’s Cooter Brown’s – Cooter is a common nickname here in southern Louisiana.
muralimannered, I make the older men of my family shave their ear hair but it’s really up to them in the end, isn’t it?
A final word to the wise: Those of you who have sensitive skin, like me, should think twice before putting hot wax anywhere near your face. My epidermis has been ripped off on occasion making me look like I have bloody cold sores. Not worth all the “beauty” treatments.
Fascinating comment thread. It could do with a dash of stupid machismo. Mine are like the Scorcese caterpillars and the lady at the barbershop I visit silently implores me to get them trimmed. I usually have a good deal of fun seeing her squirm, cringe, and try to look away while she is cutting my hair. But she cannot look away, they lure her horrified attention back again and again. Once, she actually asked if I wanted them done but I smirked and refused. It felt good. You ladies helped make the manly mustache unfashionable, and now you want to go after the burly brows? I’m not giving up my flip-shades that easily.
Since you ladies started the hairy topic and before you rush for your mani/pedi, wax/threading what’s the verdict on brown men and shorts?
I’ve never understood why some South Asian guys are ashamed of wearing shorts, we already have restricted wardrobe options what’s the point in limiting it further?
Damn, girl, it took you this long?? A good eyebrow person is worth her weight in gold, can make the most overplucked icky brows look good. Iranians do it best IMO (except for my favourite Gujarati eyebrow grrl back in Bombay). I used to go to Jeniette New York on Union Square, Rosa is the woman to ask for, she gave me the most amazing eyebrows ever that I SWEAR made me look like a different person, not sure if she’s still there as this was about 8 years ago. And my brows are scraggly yet bushy and uneven with a gap where I once tried to shave them for fun as a kid, so it’s not an easy job. BTW, I’ve been reading about the recent fashion police crackdown in Iran and they are targeting men as well as women, and stopping barbers from giving men “Western haircuts” but also from threading their brows! Now that’s a bit metrosexual even for me.
Shruti, profound words from the guy who assured us that action would not be lacking if our legs were unshaved. Desi men are pretty damn hairy too, and they don’t do anything! Look at their backs!! (I speak for my, um, sample, which is mainly north Indian).
For upper lip it’s Nair all the way. A word of advice for you girls who bleach – fuzzy blonde hair is still visible fuzzy hair on your face and it turns orange over time and does not look so great, particularly in daylight.
I never seem to find the time to go to a threader so I use the salon wax strips at home. They’ve always done me pretty well except for the one time I got distracted by the telly and took my entire left brow off. Now I’m like the pharm nurse in ICU, making double and triple checks before the yank.
Also, can anyone tell me if its true that threading can cause folliculitis?
Oh, and another vote here for the Tweezerman slant tweezer, the $20 kind that will make you wince (but only once! You’ll be glad every time you use it!), not the $4 mini version they sell in drugstores.
Eyebrows do make a big difference, they frame your face and can adjust the “balance” of your features, make your eyes stand out more, and I swear my skin looks better when the brows have been done. The teeniest bit can make a difference, look at Preity Zinta’s brows in her first few films and now.
i’ll be honest…i get the occasional chin hair that’s as dark as a lash. sure, my revlon buddy can yank it out…but over the last couple of years, i’ve noticed that the skin near the follicle has darkened permanently. any tips? and what’s y’alls take on getting lasered? my gf has had it done, but she still has to shave from time to time.
I used to get my eyebrows threaded by a woman named Nadia in Boston. She was with FX and then moved to Leeba Salon. No one else has been able to make my brows look that good. After I moved from Boston I used to book appointments with her whenever I was in town. Alas, I don’t know which salon she has switched to now. :*(
Has anyone gotten lasered? What about vaniqa? I’ve even heard some birth control pills make you less hairy. Thoughts? (I’m one of those girls who gets a 5 o’clock shadow on her legs!)
not to my knowledge
lasering is harder for women with darker hair….tried vaniqa (hell expensive, did it work? not so much)…birth control pills do make some people less hairy, if it’s an endocrine problem causing the ‘hirsuitism’ since the pill regulates hormonal balance.. women who have polycystic ovarian syndrome are frequently place on birth control to decrease their ‘hairyness’
Different kinds of lasers work for different skin tones, the first generation of lasers didn’t work well on brown skins and darker but the new gen do, I’m told (cold touch or something?) A friend in Bombay has had her arm hair and excess facial hair lasered off as is very happy with the results. It must be great not to have to worry about depilation again but honestly it feels kind of unnatural to get rid of one’s hair forever.
I wonder if any brave men have made it this far into the thread, hehe.
obviously there are diff. lasers, they still haven’t perfected one for the darker hair type.. currently the laser removes coarse hair easily, however the fuzzy kind is harder to permanently remove via laser.
Ah, OK. Thanks for the gyan, chick pea.
I just don’t find men in shorts attractive, no matter how nice their legs are. They either look like 5 year old boys or like they’re wearing a skirt and sorry neither of those options do it for me. What’s with the shorts that practically come down to the ankle? Do those few extra inches of skin really keep you any cooler? Why not just look dignified in pants…
I’m not sure if this has been addressed already or not (I only skimmed the comment portion). Advice for eyebrow shaping: middle-eastern, specifically women from Iran do it best. I think they did it before the trend was even there.
As far as beefing up your sparse eyebrows, the best advice I’ve heard from many beauty sources is to shade in with eye shadow (rather than with an eye pencil, it looks less fake). But you wouldn’t choose black, I would choose medium to dark brown for your skin tone, so you don’t look like that lady from Mommy Dearest. Oh yeah, and it works too since a lot of my asian (not south asian 🙂 friends have the same problem as you and use eye shadow, and it’s not noticeable.
Rupa, what a small world! I’m a fellow Chicagoan and used to go to Veena for my threading way back in the day when she was at the salon in Westmont. My sister has followed her from there, to the salon in Palatine, to Lincoln Park.
And incidentally, I spent five years in STL and used to get my threading done by a woman who worked out of her home. I could try to dig up her phone # if you want, but I did notice on my last visit that there is a threading stall at the West County Mall at I270 and Manchester. Don’t remember the name of it, but it’s on the 2nd floor and is the only one there so it should be easy to find.
I agree with the suggestion about using dark brown, not black, eye shadow (or brow powder, which I think Sonia Kashuk’s line at Tar-jhay has?) and a small, angled brush (best one I’ve ever used is one from Rite Aid’s store brand, but MAC #266 also works) to “fill in” brows. Even if your brows are full to begin with, brushing them into place and using a bit of brow powder makes them look neater. I’ve also heard of people using moustache wax on unruly brows.
Tattooed brows look atrocious, sorry to say. The colour tends to fade to a weird reddish brown or grey and they look SO fake.
Anna, you are absolutely hilarious. I’ve been a loyal lurker here for a while and finally had to comment when words like Chicago, Devon, and threading came up! I used to go to Devon for threading until I found another place named Betty and Nicks (or was it Nick and Bettys)in Skokie that is run by Assyrians (I think). This place resembles a drive through salon. You go in and come out in practically 10 minutes. And to top it off- only $5 for threading or haircuts!! Can a desi ask for more???
How funny. I used to do the threading on Devon thing, too, when I lived in Chicago: I’d go to Yoga Circle in River North and then run up to Devon for food, shopping and threading.
Rupa, I am so checking out that salon as I am moving back to Chicago. Yeah!
Hmmm, reading through some of the other comments: waxing actually hurts me more than threading and it makes my skin too pink and splotchy. I look insane for the next hour or two, like the joker or something. And, I’ve supposedly tried the best of the best, so I think it’s the wax, not the heat or technique, that I don’t like. I suppose everyone has different thresholds…..
MD, I concur. I find threading to be an overall more pleasant experience. The day they offer effective Brazilian threading, I’ll be the first one in line. Oh come on, someone had to go there…
I’ve never understood why some South Asian guys are ashamed of wearing shorts, we already have restricted wardrobe options what’s the point in limiting it further?
Dunno. My husband wears shorts a lot in the summer, particularly when we go hiking and/or camping. He has nice legs too! 🙂
Threading has always made me come out of the salon crying – it’s worth it, but still. A good eyebrow-waxer will be done much faster and you don’t have to go through the torture hair-by-hair. But good eyebrow-waxers are very very rare. Sigh.
For true masochists, there’s the Middle Eastern version of waxing, aka halawa, with thicker wax made of sugar that sort of stretches out and serves as both the waxing strip and the wax. Hurts like a mofo, smoother and longer-lasting than waxing, but not for wimps like me.
i’m not a doctor… and i’m not really sure what folliculitis is… i tried to look it up online but it didn’t really help.
but threading makes me break out — only where i got threaded. and i used to go to the same place that chickpea still goes to [which by the way is fabulous if you’re not me–they really are great!]… i guess different people have different reactions. so even though waxing isn’t as good for the skin i get waxed b/c at least i don’t break out. i just don’t do it often.
and for all of you who use revlon tweezers… i LOVE THEM!! hehe…
My gf gets hers done at the place by Singas pizza on newark. While I haven’t been inside that place, she tells me there are aunties in there getting their whole face threaded…wtf? Also, why are so many guys getting their brows done??
I don’t know what’s worse, the blond highlights that flatter no one (of the male species anyway) or the perfectly arched brows.
Threading has always made me come out of the salon crying – it’s worth it, but still.
Oh me too. And the woman who does my threading thinks I’m such a baby because I always tear up when she’s doing it.
I do know someone who does a great wax job, and I go to her sometimes, but waxing just doesn’t give you clean line/shape you get from threading. Ah, the pains we endure…
I’m a very hairy man. My second summer in the US – I took the trouble of, er, reducing the hair on my legs – so I could walk around in shorts, but have never bothered since. I’ve seen lots of American, European and Latin American men (Most East Asians and Africans don’t have this ‘problem’) walk around with all their hair, and I assumed it was an acceptable option.
And BTW – what is threading in this context?
Girl, I have never heard of that shiznit.
Unibrows are NOT attractive. Sigh There was one flaw with my husband: unibrow. Few weeks into the dating I attacked him with the tweezerman. He agrees, his brows look much better.
Rupa — HOT eyebrows!!!
I think hairness on men (besides the unibrow) is uber sexy. I f*cking love it. I love everything about it.. running my hand over all of that hair (such a turn on). YUM! You do no need to “reduce” your hair unless you want to.
Hema, doesn’t it seem like all desi waxing and threading ladies are such unsympathetic martinets? I remember howling when my mother got me waxed the first time, age 15 or something, and the lady said something like “so hairy AND a real baby”! Yowch.
Unibrows are NOT attractive. Sigh There was one flaw with my husband: unibrow.
I must be a freak. I love hairy eyebrows/unibrows on men. On women too, though maybe with some shaping. I don’t rock my unibrow though, I use a variety of things to remove facial hair.
I think hairy men are very sexy, however- beards and male facial hair really enflame my sensitive face and neck to the point that I will ask a guy to shave, for the discomfort factor.
It looks great but hurts too much.
I’m putting in a vote for the cheapo Revlon tweezers. I only tweeze my brows (live in a desi-devoid corner of the country and also don’t trust anyone else to leave them looking relatively natural) and that’s what I use. They work great. Make sure you get the angled kind, not the pointed kind–makes it easier to grip the hair.
Shruti, you are right. I am an infrequent de-hairer (although I generally don’t let my hairy legs be publicly exposed. Arm hair I live with) and it’s never been an issue with guys. To all those hairy teenage girls out there–you can stay hairy and still be attractive. But if you choose to de-hair, that’s okay too. As my dog-groomer says, it’s just hair.
Hema, doesn’t it seem like all desi waxing and threading ladies are such unsympathetic martinets?
Totally. I have a sense that they’re tut-tutting me, all while thinking “if she can’t even handle this chota-mota pain, how will she have babies one day?” Tsk tsk.
I talked my husband into letting me tweeze his crazy eyebrows for our wedding. But in the end, I couldn’t do it. I never changed a single (physical) thing for him so I couldn’t bring myself to change him. I’m actually glad–I would have been stuck doing it forever if he had liked it!
You made me laugh out loud and spit on that one.
I once had a Sikh girlfriend ask me to shave, so I don’t ‘blame’ any girl who also feels that way. Still, I like having a beard. More on this will probably be a threadjack, and I won’t go there!
Girl – you may have made the wise choice. I’m stuck tweezing hubster for life… though I’ll admit, I like it.
rekha — Yes! I have heard of both these things of which you speak – would you mind digging up that woman’s phone number for me? I have had my eyebrows done at that mall stall and it was fine but I have heard horror stories from others. Thanks so much!! 😀
I have friends who get their entire face waxed. I can’t imagine how they do it.
Btw, I saw Spiderman-3 last night. Kiki doesn’t shave/nair/wax her arms. He he..
Ya’ll, I get where we’re going here about holding women to unrealistic standards of beauty, but I am so sorry – I cannot keep quiet on this one. I am all for loving one’s self as you are but we need to differentiate between body hair and facial hair. Arm/leg hair – who cares, no one but you will notice anyway. Facial hair – if you are comfortable remaining au naturel that is fabulous. But YES. Everyone notices, particularly the ‘stache. I’m sure even Kajol, she of the unibrow, gets her ‘stache threaded.
Anyone have any suggestions on great tweezing places in the DC Metro area?
Question for the sisters ( I am serious and need advice):
I have a BIG milestone birthday coming up next year and I have NEVER done my eyebrows( I’m a wimp @ physical pain) .My eyebrows are ok – not too hairy but are not as shapely as they once were.( I am too shy to post a photo so you will have to take my word for it) So my question is :
Will I look weird if I start threading at this advanced age and also does that make me less of a feminist and very vain?( I shave my legs but let the faint arm hair I have be )
Why not go for a series of gradual changes, that way you can determine if you like it or not before the big birthday?
And if shaplier eyebrows help you feel more confident on your special day, I don’t see how it’s any different than shaving your legs. Good luck.
I know this is a question for the sisters – but if I may – what would make you less of a feminist is not the specifics – and I won’t say you are vain – but in not seizing agency yourself and doing what you think is right for yourself, by your own lights – and caring too much about what other people think. That said, keep your eyebrows natural 🙂