[NB: Men, small children and intellectuals- pretend to look elsewhere and feign a lack of interest, even though I know you’re going to read every esoteric word.]
Well-maintained humans, I have a problem.
I hate my tweezers.
I have every right to, they came in one of those awful pre-filled manicure kits that no one deserves to receive for Chrismukkah, no matter how evil they’ve been. I have been able to “get by” because I only used them once in a while. That’s why I never really noticed how worthless they are. How is this possible, you wonder incredulously? I have a shameful secret which is so hideous, none dare to believe it once it is revealed.
I have no eyebrows.
No, I didn’t over-tweeze like we all did when we were eleven. I didn’t lose them in an unfortunate smelting accident, nor did I singe them off while learning how to use that stove thingy with the…fire…and stuff. Uh-huh, I was born with no eyebrows, courtesy of my dear Father’s genetics, though considering everything else he gave me, I guess I’d be an ungrateful little shit if I dwell on this for too long.
My father had sparse eyebrows but he also started to grey at 30, so by the time I could even notice his brows, he was in his early 40s. Bare as they were, white hair on dark brown skin is ultra-obvious, so he wasn’t affected by his browlessness. I on the other hand, have had my chin grabbed and my face ruthlessly examined by Auntie after Auntie, who if I’m lucky, muttered something about how I once looked a bit like Hema Malini before I got all black and if I’m REALLY lucky…well, they declare something about how a face is useless unless the eyes are beautiful and the eyes, they are the worthless as the Manolo would say, without the brows. “Sho! Kashtam. No wonder you aren’t married.”
So I haven’t had to use tweezers all that much and whenever I did, I’d just borrow my Mom’s because hers worked. But now…I don’t know if mine have gone dull or if my hand-eye coordination is poo; they don’t grip a thing. I just can’t see the point of getting my brows “done”, not when they barely grow in the first place. In the picture you see above, which was taken during the only trip to Devon Avenue I’ve ever made, I got threaded.
Why? I was caught up in the brownosity of it all; Devon Avenue seemed way more desi than University Avenue, though it wasn’t quite Jackson Heights. After buying a new sari and bangles, eating fantastic chaat and drinking far too much good stuff, I wanted to experience the only part of the street I hadn’t thus far– the beauty parlors. Much like the first time my awe-stricken kundi trudged through Queens, I was amazed at the fact that there were salons that were staffed with and served just desis; as a righteous and deprived thenga, I found such a concept inconceivable.
So, in I went and when I requested getting my brows threaded, the woman pointedly asked, “Why?”. “Please,” I implored “I have to go to an engagement in two hours!” and she shrugged. After all, an idiot and her rupees are soon threaded. And a few seconds after this shot was taken, she stood back and announced, “done!”
I had felt a little something and noticed no discernable difference, but I was tickled anyway. Threaded! I got threaded! I finally, fleetingly felt at one with the South Asian “experience”.
So, unless it’s an adventure in beauty like that was, I’m not getting my brows done and that is why I need new tweezers. Now quit holding out on me– what do YOU use? Share your wisdom, so that other clueless fur balls will find it when they google this embarrassing topic in the years to come. 😉
haha! i did the same thing upon the encouragement of my mom, here is my take on it: http://www.indiacurrents.com/news/view_article.html?article_id=5e391423341988a925ef08fc4d7ae1c2
🙂
Love the Amazon list link…
Shout out to Daksha Ben at Khoobsurat in Newark Avenue in Jersey City, the only woman allowed to touch my brows.
Yessss!! Something I have authority on — as someone who’s gotten her eyebrows done since she was 11, I feel verrrrry comfortable dispensing advice on this topic.
I get threaded every 6-7 days at my cousin’s salon here in Chicago (in Lincoln Park; Clark and Belden to be exact). Devon is like a second home but it requires BOTH the el and the bus to get to, not to mention that the salons are kind of gross.
To tide me over I use the Tweezerman slant despite my cousin’s threat of bodily harm if she catches me tweezing in between threadings. A wee bit pricey, but well worth it. Plus, mail the tweezers back to the company if ever they get dull and they will sharpen and return the precious tweezers in a jiff.
Is that the normal recommended time period, 6-7 days? Well, color me mortified.
I’m not as lucky as Anna. My eyebrows are somewhat sparse, but they have the world’s worst natural shape. They need regular maintenance. Unfortunately, I’m pathologically lazy, and go about 3-4 weeks before getting them done.
I use a very nice pair of tweezers that I actually bought (believe it or not) at Target. They’re blunt on one end, and slanty and angled on the other, and this really seems to help with the grip…for those rare days when I’ve got my act together enough to tweeze.
I was just looking through all of your Devon pics…I LOVE Annapurna!! Is it really that dirty? Maybe I’m just very comfortable with grime. I do live with a boy, after all.
And is that Dilshad where you were threaded? The artists there are very hit or miss. Salon Rupa was my fave place on Devon; unfortch the owner closed shop and moved.
One last question…I am moving to St. Louis, MO soon. Does anyone know of anyone that threads down thar?
Oy, so do mine gf…especially since mine are anything but symmetrical! And I’m STILL no expert with the brow pencil, but I make do. Meanwhile, my little sister has eyebrows that Brooke Shields could relate to…and that’s her natural hair color, too. I used to use the latter as proof that she was adopted, when she was a gullible toddler.
This is EXACTLY what I was hoping would happen– we’ll compile an informal directory of fur-removal strategies/where to get it done.
I think I am the only one who thinks threading hurts like a mofo. I prefer waxing anyway – the whole one fell swoop thing appeals to me. And I like the way Bloomie Nails (NYC represent!) smells. 😉
Anna’s posts always lure me back to SM, although I worry that revealing my didi presence on a thread might terminate the steamy conversation (as in the mango post).
I am the opposite of you, Anna darling, and came into the world extra-chunky with a uni-brow. My older sisters trained me using the exact same tweezers described by hema above.
Hey, how do glam desi chicks get rid of the stash these days? Is Jolene still a drug of choice?
Can you be any more photogenic than Anna??
I know. I’m a freakshow. Even the hair on my scalp grows at a cancerous rate.
Nooooo. I always wanted a didi. 🙂 I love having you and EmDee-di around, it’s a lovely respite from being the eldest girl.
When I first went to India I thought, “how is it that all these women have such perfectly shaped eyebrows”??? I thought it was genetic or something. Then, a few years later I saw a friend putting string on his face and was like, “what’s that”? “Threading to shape my brows”, he said. “Women do it in beauty parlours”. So I went and it was painful as hell but I came out with bangin’ brows. Now I’m hooked!
Secret is to not let your brows grow out fully between appointments – more hair, more pain. “Touch-ups” are less painful. Less hair, less pain.
Tweezerman Slanted is my tool of choice. But I prefer to be threaded. I have the opposite problem. I am a fuzzy monster… hair everywhere. It’s disgusting. It takes me forever to tweeze all the damn hair I have.
Tamasha: Threading totally hurts like a mofo. Waxing scares the sh*t out of me (yes, I’ve done it many times) but I wait for the hot wax in complete and total fear. I prefer the pain to the fear.
I am with tamasha(#8) here. Waxing is way better. Threading is just prolonging the pain. I go to Ulta in Austin. Desi Auntys are good for waxing of hands and legs. I think we should compile a list of good desi-aunty run beauty salons.
Anna: Have you ever thought about getting your eyebrows tattooed? My best friend’s mom did it b/c her eye brows are really sparse. At first she looked like a scary side show freak b/c the eyebrows were so dark but in a few weeks they looked awesome.
i have pretty sparse brows if i dont’ get them done. i know some girls say that if they dont’ get their brows done they look like complete hairy monsters. i dont’ experience that, i just look blah. i get them threaded with an arch so they have some sort of shape and if done right, i am in love with the shape!
my mom has NO eyebrows, not even enough for a shape, just some faint hairs here and there and she tries to shade them in with eye pencil, sometimes to the point of crazy hilarity, and then my sister and I intervene and just tell her to sigh and accept the fact she has no brows.
I think your brows are fine! less is more. and besides, you have beautiful eyes and lashes. I think that is wayy more important.
I used to do waxing before I discovered the stream-lined, precision of threading. Yes, it’s more painful but the defined shape is worth it.
Ok, not ashamed at all to field this one, ladies – I also thread that. I bleached once in the 8th grade and haven’t done it since, and here’s the traumatizing story behind that decision: right after I bleached, I went to my friend Amanda’s birthday party, where we sat in a circle and played spin the bottle. The lucky guy who scored with me got a mouthful of Sally Hansen bleach. Soooo much the sexxy.
I too learned the painful Jolene lesson in junior high. All my friends were doing it. I just looked like I had a yellow milk moustache. Ugh, so embarassing. I didn’t stop until my sophore year of highschool… took me that long to get a clue.
I get my eyebrows waxed by an Indian beautician. When I first started going to her, she would always complain that I had no eyebrows to wax. She then let me in on her secret: massage your eyebrows every night with baby oil and brush them back with those little combs you use for your eyelashes. Voila. I go to see her every month now to get my eyebrows done!
i am in complete agreement with tamasha: i take waxing over threading any day. i have had my eyebrows threaded 3 times and each time, i left the place in tears (from the physical pain, not emotional — my brows looked great). waxing is much faster and is not as painful for me; it also takes much longer for the hair to grow back after waxing.
i personally believe the tweezerman brand is overrated and overpriced. revlon makes a number of quality tweezers and if you are started out with few hairs to begin with, no need to drop so much coin on the tweezerman.
(ps. people love my eyebrows and i am fairly neurotic about them.)
PG (#18): I lived in India till I was 21 so I went through a few years of threading before shifting to waxing. My facial skin is sensitive and I always came out looking scary because of how red my skin turned after threading. Now I am just glad.
I think you may be right – tweezerman is definitely for heavy-duty hair removal needs. For hirsutes like myself. There is this picture of me and my dad side by side, which I like because it’s like a before and after of my eyebrows. (I also inherited my dad’s eyebrows. And there was alot to go around.)
rupa: great eyebrows! 🙂
i sometimes wish (ducking) that my eyebrows grew more densely because it would give me a better template to work with, so to speak. although i have nothing close to sparse eyebrows, a lot of my brow grooming is with the intention of creating a somewhat more dense effect. for this, i greatly enjoy clinique’s brow sculpting shadow, whatever it may be called.
tweezerman wins hands down for plucking..
threading is the best.. the detail is simply superb..
waxing can lead to early.. wrinkling. no wax, just thread. i sleep through it. it’s nap time.. just got mine done today!
I hear ya – I don’t feel a thing anymore, even with my forest up there.
Dr. Chick Pea, you got me worried 🙁
you have forest, i have caterpillars 🙂
skin above your eyelid is thin.. extra strain, not so good…that is what i was told..and i like the shape and detail that threading does.. plus, it doesn’t hurt me at all.. no joke, when i say i nap through it.
i say threading or tweezing….
so now, moving on to other body parts.. arms? do you wax or nair?
Rupa, what’s the name of your cousin’s salon? 🙂 And how much does it cost?
Anna you dad eyebrows rule. Like you father, I too have sparse very thin eyebrows. Mote then once I have had females tell me that I’m lucky to have my eyebrows.
And the best part is that my daughter will have thin eyebrows too.
Wax, but like twice a year. I am VERY lazy. Should I be doing it more? I’m pretty furry – do people notice? Should I be doing this regularly? Oh lord, now I’m going to be self-conscious.
No, this is a good point, milli (?). I love the look of threaded eyebrows (you can always tell! CP’s right, it’s the precision), and have been thinking of giving it another go. Admittedly, I was like 13 the first and last time I was threaded. Especially now that we’re talking about wrinkles. I am sooo not ready for that shit.
Wax. Arms and legs. Every month. I am very hairy and need to do it. I hate looking furry. Women in USA seem to have no problem with hair on arms and legs. In India, women who wear clothes baring arms or legs (and those who don’t bare them too) get waxing done regularly. My Indian mother got me doing this since I was 14 and I can’t stop.
I have an appointment for waxing my arms tomorrow! Back when I lived in MN, we had a girl who came to our house to do our eyebrows, not being blessed with an abundance (or any) salons that did threading. Now I live in South Jerzz and I drove to Edison to get me browns done. I do waxing only under dire circumstances like I can’t get my furry cattepillars threaded in time for an event.
Speaking of, does anyone know of a threading place in Philadelphia? The post came up on the LJ Philly thread but no one had any good answers, boo.
I feel like arm waxing is not that common amongst non-desis? It was never on my radar until I was in India as a teenager getting a manicure. As the manicurist was like practically feeling me up, he (he!) said something about my hairy arms. Ever since then…
P.S. If you’re in Mumbs, get a pedicure at Lakme. They use, like, actual razor blades to scrape the dry skin off your feet.
i wax rarely (takes too much damn time–plus you have to make an appt for that, and i go on moments notice), nairing is easier.. ‘nair on, nair off’.. without the hand gestures.. kinda zen like in a way…when i go to india, i get waxed there in bangalore..by a lady who i’ve gone to for over 15 years.. i trust her..
you must trust the eyebrow artist, some might f*ck it up..happened to me recently, and i got pretty peeved…i always suggest if you’re moving to another city (rupa), get names from people you trust who have good eyebrows..
no joke, the first thing i look for (even before an apartment) when i move to another city, is ‘where to get my eyebrows threaded’…sad but oh so true.
eyebrows can make or break a face.
Ok, so this is kind of weird, but it’s the Merle Norman cosmetic studio. My cousin’s name is Veena. They’re open Tu-Fr 12-7 and Sat 10-5. You can even drive there – there’s a parking lot next door which is free after validation.
And oh yeah, it’s $11 a pop. A little more expensive than the holes on Devon, but worth it to not have to schlep that far north.
and here is where i go on and on about ‘brows’, cuz, they are hella important.
i have hairy arms and i shaved them once in the … 5th or 6th grade. my mother was SO pissed off at me and gave me a big lecture on self-esteem and the idiocy of shaving one’s arms. she was correct in noting that the itch and ugliness factors were not worth the bareness.
i used to be very self-conscious about my arm hair (i used to get made fun of a LOT in elementary school for it) but i promised myself to learn to just accept it. i’ve talked about it with all the men i’ve ever dated, and each one of them, even the guy who did make a lot of comments about my appearance, said that the arm hair was no big thing — a couple even thought it was sexy. i feel grateful that i’m not super hairy in other areas and try to not feel hideous when my two best friends (korean) prance around with their stupid hairless arms in a tank top. 🙂
Hey, how do glam desi chicks get rid of the stash these days? Is Jolene still a drug of choice?
I don’t know about glam desi chicks, but this desi chick still bleaches. Threading/waxing the stash never worked for me, but bleach seems to do the trick.
So many lovely ladies dropping depilation knowledge! I’m happy to be learning new things here… just one thing, though (because procrastionation=nit-picking):
Only if you believe it, my friend. I think you should do whatever you want to do (or have to do) to your body. I confess that I’m of a northeastern stock that never had to face the worst of the hair dilemma. Besides, I rarely take my own high-and-mighty feminist advice — and given my body image history, I’d be the last person to judge. And I’m sure that once I get out of Santa Barbara and away from the hippies, I’ll have to face the bitter reality that I have to look impeccable to a certain standard in order to stand out or just get by.
But come now, women are humans, not “monsters” or “rodents” just for having hair. Certainly not “disgusting”. It’s all in jest, I know, but I work with little girls who keep me aware of the horrid standards and expectations they deal with from day one, esp the ones who don’t fit the archetype (and never will in their lifetimes). There’s got to be some hirsute little desi girl out there who reads this stuff and hears it IRL and will decide not to wear shorts or tank tops or join waterpolo because she knows that, humor or not, what is basically being said is that hairy women are something less than women.
And since we’re paging Mango Pickle, one of the best blog comments I’ve ever read was by some dude on one of her depilation posts. Apparently Spiked Chutney has been hijacked, so I can’t find the comment, but it was something to this effect: “You women know that if you stopped shaving en masse, we’d still fuck you, right?” Aye, words of wisdom, my sisters, words of wisdom… 😀
(He’s absolutely right, btw.)
Shrut-ster, I love you.
To be realistic, I think most guys will notice some outstanding facial hair. Arm hair, meh. I think they can even get over some leg hair. (Especially in the winter. OH COME ON. I have better things to do in the morning, like defrost my car locks. It gets cold here!) Once, in the winter, as a “special treat” for my (now ex)boyfriend I decided to shave my legs, but my building ran out of hot water and I wasn’t that dedicated to the cause so I only shaved one leg. We were watching TV and I had my feet propped up on his lap and he was like, “OH. MY. GOD. Did you actually shave your legs?! Wait a minute – why did you only do one?”
Shruti, you’re right. And you made your point in such a kind way. You gave me a lot to think about…
Ugh eyebrow woes and don’t I know it. I have FAINT eyebrows that you couldn’t see from afar but they are wide as caterpillers so I HAVE to do them. I do them myself by tweezing and I fill them in with Lancome powder pencil, the best and closest thing to natural soft color I can find anywhere. I’m seriously considering getting the eyebrow tatoo and look like a freak for a while…
When I lived in Bangladesh, a friend informed me that Bangladeshi village women systematically pluck and remove EVERY HAIR ON THEIR ENTIRE BODIES from puberty onwards. Can anyone confirm this? Bengali Chick?
i know that bushy tufts of ear-hair are in my future. can that be shaped by threading as well?