Kal Penn, UPenn, Wait…what happened??

Posted on March 27, 2007 by A N N A

GujuHottiee120586: wuz up, ho?

NjDe$iQTpie: who u callin a ho, ho?

GujuHottiee120586: watevr

NjDe$iQTpie: OMFG, i totally forgot to tell u!

GujuHottiee120586: ??

NjDe$iQTpie: u r gonna DIE when u hear this

GujuHottiee120586: wtf? if its that big a deal u wouldve texted me. u need to stop w the frapuchinos lol

NjDe$iQTpie: biach, please…im desi, its all about the chai tea latte

GujuHottiee120586: like thats keepin it real…such a dumb name for a drink..i mean…is NOT a latte

NjDe$iQTpie: N E WAYZ

GujuHottiee120586: hurry up…my momz like tivod koffee with karan and shes going to watch it in like 2 secs

NjDe$iQTpie: FINE. ok u know how ur parents wanted u to go to penn soo bad n u were all, “hellz no, i aint goin to college n livin at home” n they were all sad n shit?

GujuHottiee120586: yeahh. wat about it? fuuuuuck,i wish i got in a school farther away than columbia 🙁

NjDe$iQTpie: ha ha…rhode islands FAR

GujuHottiee120586: yeah, but brown isnt even a real ivy league school…so lol on THAT

NjDe$iQTpie: its as prestigous as columbia so f u

GujuHottiee120586: wtf, u have sumthing to tell me or wat…momz is screamin i’ll bbl

NjDe$iQTpie: fine. but jus so u know, kal penns gonna teach at penn nex yr. c ya.

GujuHottiee120586: omfg. OMFG. OMFG!!! ur so lying

NjDe$iQTpie: nope.

GujuHottiee120586: is this april fools??

NjDe$iQTpie: do u not know todays date

GujuHottiee120586: donâ€™t u like have to have a phd to teach in college

NjDe$iQTpie: he probably does…my cousin ami went to MIT wit him..ill ask her

GujuHottiee120586: u retard…he went to ucla n ur cuzn took like 1 class there

NjDe$iQTpie: still…at least she knows him, unlike some desperate bitchz…lol

GujuHottiee120586: fuuuuuck. wats he teaching???

NjDe$iQTpie: hold on…ill find out

GujuHottiee120586: this sux.

NjDe$iQTpie: Penn will teach one lecture course, tentatively titled “Images of Asian Americans in the Media,” and a seminar, “Contemporary American Teen Films.” Each course will be cross-listed with Cinema Studies.

GujuHottiee120586: cross listed with wat? south asian studies/

NjDe$iQTpie: um no asian

GujuHottiee120586: thas wat i said

NjDe$iQTpie: as in asian american studies

GujuHottiee120586: that doesnâ€™t evem make sense

NjDe$iQTpie: yeah…were not asian. duh

GujuHottiee120586: watevr, i so wouldve majroed in that

NjDe$iQTpie: lol…now u can major in being bitter…just think, some other desi ho is going to ask if she can get extra credit n that couldve been u lolol

GujuHottiee120586: this is so cepressing

NjDe$iQTpie: y cant u spell whenever kal penn comes up…r u that obsesed lol

GujuHottiee120586: this isn funny. my mom so said that i’d regret pickin columbia…n now I do 🙁

NjDe$iQTpie: lmao

GujuHottiee120586: stop hatin

NjDe$iQTpie: ooooh professor penn…i <3 u…ur my faaaave EVER

GujuHottiee120586: more like prof modi…daaaang, gina…dint u pay attention at namesake??

NjDe$iQTpie: which time…cant believe u made me sit thru that shit twice…so effing BORING. waaaah, my parents r immigrants, n im like sooo confused about who i am, i think ill date white girlz until i get wat i deserve from some desi bitch. then ill cry some more in some guava orchard b4 my arranged marrage with some chic in cheetah-print heelz who smokes which ill agree to bc now ive returnd to my rootz and shit after living with some widow n a bunch of lower cast peepz in the motherland…waaaaah

GujuHottiee120586: u seriously jus mashed together 4 bookz, u dum ho

NjDe$iQTpie: watevr. all sound same.

GujuHottiee120586: u mus be soo releived to b going to a school with no grades

NjDe$iQTpie: kiss my chuddies, ho

GujuHottiee120586: wonder if its too late to change my mind about penn

NjDe$iQTpie: kal or the school?

GujuHottiee120586: SCHOOL u hater. ill always luv kal…watch hes gonna be my baby daddy

NjDe$iQTpie: yeah, xcept i heard he wuz g-

GujuHottiee120586: OMFG STFU. ill ttyl when ur not being lame.

Thanks for the tip, Nina. 😉 And thank you to the dozen other people who also sent it in, after you.

87 thoughts on “Kal Penn, UPenn, Wait…what happened??”

kusala on March 27, 2007 at 6:24 pm said:

OK, OK, that post was seriously WORSHIP-WORTHY!

GujuHottiee120586: u seriously jus mashed together 4 bookz

Would be a seriously idea to condense some of that masala-immigrant-porn….
DesiDancer on March 27, 2007 at 6:25 pm said:

waaaah, my parents r immigrants, im like sooo confused about who i am, i think ill date white girlz until i get wat i deserve from some desi bitch, then ill cry some more in some guava orchard b4 my arranged marrage with some chic in cheetah-print heelz who smokes which ill agree to bc now ive returnd to my rootz and shit after living with some widow n a bunch of lower cast peepzâ€¦waaaaah

Classic. Seriously, I think that’s the whole genre.
kusala on March 27, 2007 at 6:31 pm said:

I meant “good idea”, obviously.

Anyway, I think ur mom should pinch u cuz u hav time 4 this stuff but no time to make Palappam!
MD on March 27, 2007 at 6:32 pm said:

Cooking doesn’t generate the comments the same way!

Cute 🙂 Very cute 🙂

*Reminds me, I have to link the whole Name-sa-ke Kal Penn/Andy Samberg thing from youtube one of these days……
chachaji on March 27, 2007 at 6:33 pm said:

Now if only he had spelt it Cal Penn when he changed it from Kalpen – he could be teaching at Cal in the Spring and Penn in the Fall…
DJ Drrrty Poonjabi on March 27, 2007 at 6:35 pm said:

OMGWTFLOLBBQ ur post waz teh funnie!11111oneoneone @=)
DDiA on March 27, 2007 at 6:35 pm said:

Anna, I knew you had it in ya! My favourite bit was this

GujuHottiee120586: yeah, but brown isnt even a real ivy league schoolâ€¦so lol on THAT
SkepMod on March 27, 2007 at 6:57 pm said:

Only a twisted, twisted, generously gifted brain could come up with that.

Is it me or is Kal Penn the default-brownie for every single desi role in Hollywood??
Zen on March 27, 2007 at 7:21 pm said:

My favorite line: NjDe$iQTpie: biach, pleaseâ€¦im desi, its all about the chai tea latte

Those screen names were cringe inducingly accurate!
Mr Kobayashi on March 27, 2007 at 7:24 pm said:

Genius. 10 out of 10.
Saheli on March 27, 2007 at 7:45 pm said:

That was a genius post my dear, though it was painful to get through. 😉

Methinks Mr. Penn is going to have lots of lovely co-eds in his class. 😉
Red Snapper on March 27, 2007 at 7:58 pm said:

hahahahaahahaahahahaha

brilliance!
Gujjubhai on March 27, 2007 at 8:02 pm said:

Anna, I woship at thy altar!
pennalum on March 27, 2007 at 8:07 pm said:

my old TA said that the desi girls at penn went crazy when it slipped out that he was coming. she also said that he requested to live on campus. i don’t know about that bit, esp. since most of penn’s housing is crap. perhaps a low phase in the love life, mr. penn?

i would suggest to the people at penn, since it is listed in asian american studies, to please add harold as a co-lecturer. kp’s not a big draw for me, but that harold….

great post anna!
hg on March 27, 2007 at 8:08 pm said:

WORD!

i think you might just have captured every conversation I’ve had with my desi friends. lol
Sadaiyappan on March 27, 2007 at 8:12 pm said:

Is it me or is Kal Penn the default-brownie for every single desi role in Hollywood??

There are a couple of desi’s on NBC’s Heroes..
inothernews on March 27, 2007 at 8:13 pm said:

Isn’t it so hard to write like stupid? I have the hardest time figuring it out, especially wHeN pPl tYpE LiK dIs.
Abhi on March 27, 2007 at 8:14 pm said:

Ur best work EVER. 🙂 And for the record, UCLA undergrads write entire essays on exams using the type of sentences above. I know cuz i graded them lol 🙂
nina on March 27, 2007 at 8:16 pm said:

anytime!!! i loved the post! as i do all of them, but neglect to post on due mainly to my laziness!
Abhi_az on March 27, 2007 at 8:39 pm said:

kiss my chuddies, ho

Loved reading every line of the post. Great post Anna!
risible on March 27, 2007 at 8:44 pm said:

A defining post for Sepia Mutiny. Anna, you’ve captured a generation.

Props.
coach diesel on March 27, 2007 at 8:47 pm said:

So painful to read. In that can’t catch my breath, my side hurts sorta way.

As always, you rocked it girl!
Lila on March 27, 2007 at 9:12 pm said:

Dude, this post totally rocks!
Rupa on March 27, 2007 at 9:55 pm said:

Wow, you sort of have to read that without letting your eyes focus on the letters. Man I feel old. Well done Miss Anna 🙂
taz on March 27, 2007 at 10:00 pm said:

I disturbingly felt like I was reading a conversation between my little sister and her friend. It was so mock-worthy, yet freakishly dead-on. Why do kids write like that??? Isn’t it harder then writing normally???
avi on March 27, 2007 at 10:02 pm said:

Best post, Anna
anangbhai on March 27, 2007 at 10:06 pm said:

This conversation is missing something..

Oh right. This Then This. And this.
indianoguy (President, ANNA Fans Association) on March 27, 2007 at 10:07 pm said:

As a self appointed President of ANNA Fans Association, I propose that Anna be declared as the “Goddess of Humor”.
vivo on March 27, 2007 at 10:17 pm said:

I don’t post much but that was great! haha even ivy leaguers can talk like that. well pre ive leaguers i’m down for an LA/OC meetup as I’ve tentatively relocated to the OC. u may have seen me walking the mean streets of Irvine w/o a piece at some pt.
Salil Maniktahla on March 27, 2007 at 10:43 pm said:

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

oh dearie me wipes a tear away

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
penn senior on March 27, 2007 at 11:48 pm said:

This post made me laugh while procrastinating my thesis…nicely done! I do question his credentials (even TAs are typically PURSUING a PhD) but, let’s be honest, if I wasn’t graduating in May I would be pre-registered for these classes in a heart beat!
AF on March 27, 2007 at 11:53 pm said:

This was absolutely hilarious…fell off my chair laughing! Great post Anna.
another desi dude... on March 28, 2007 at 12:05 am said:

HAHAHAHAHAHA.. That was one of the funniest things I have read in a long time. Also, awesome screen-names.
Koonj on March 28, 2007 at 1:06 am said:

Oh, perfect. perfect!
chi_diva on March 28, 2007 at 1:29 am said:

Very funny Anna 🙂

NjDe$iQTpie: lolâ€¦now u can major in being bitterâ€¦just think, some other desi ho is going to ask if she can get extra credit n that couldve been u lolol

Extra credit hehe 🙂
Mohinder_Suresh on March 28, 2007 at 2:45 am said:

WTFBBQ..lol, good stuff Anna. Looks like KP is going to have his pick of the desi wimminz
Upbhransh on March 28, 2007 at 3:38 am said:

This was so awesome..lmao!
1ilQTtashoMGf-enHO's on March 28, 2007 at 4:20 am said:

I disturbingly felt like I was reading a conversation between my little sister and her friend. It was so mock-worthy, yet freakishly dead-on. Why do kids write like that??? Isn’t it harder then writing normally???

OmFG! so TRUe gaL!!!!! <3 <3 <3 RofL LMaO…

shit after typing like that, I think it’s all the DRUGS.
pallavi on March 28, 2007 at 6:17 am said:

omg awesome!!
green angel on March 28, 2007 at 6:32 am said:

that was a GREAT post LOL
Sriram on March 28, 2007 at 8:54 am said:

Classic. I’m so glad I missed out on the whole IM phenomenon.
TheBarmaid on March 28, 2007 at 9:23 am said:

This is like the “Aiyo!” of the century.
Janeofalltrades on March 28, 2007 at 10:04 am said:

Holy shit Brilliant. I encounter these kids on the train every morning. Oh god bless the iPod I don’t have to listen to this painful dialog.
desichick on March 28, 2007 at 10:40 am said:

Very phunny… lol

which timeâ€¦cant believe u made me sit thru that shit twiceâ€¦so effing BORING. waaaah, my parents r immigrants, n im like sooo confused about who i am, i think ill date white girlz until i get wat i deserve from some desi bitch. then ill cry some more in some guava orchard b4 my arranged marrage with some chic in cheetah-print heelz who smokes which ill agree to bc now ive returnd to my rootz and shit after living with some widow n a bunch of lower cast peepz in the motherlandâ€¦waaaaah

What four books? I think i got two books, arranged marriage and Guava orchard…
Jeet on March 28, 2007 at 10:51 am said:

Is it sad that I have both of those screen names in my buddy list? Brilliant post anna

Why do kids write like that???

Have you like tried texting entire words with those little typepads.. hurts my cuticles
zimblymallu on March 28, 2007 at 11:01 am said:

hahaha…. so many good lines in there. kollam. shabhash. wah taj. and so on… lol. ah. i’m glad i got around to reading bloglines early today.
SM Intern on March 28, 2007 at 11:05 am said:

What four books? I think i got two books, arranged marriage and Guava orchard…

You got one. 🙂
desichick on March 28, 2007 at 11:13 am said:

You got one. 🙂

Hmm… I was thinking Arranged Marriage by Chitra Divakaruni, Hullabaloo in the Guava Orchard by Kiran Desai. I guess i was wrong, three more books. 🙁
Red Snapper on March 28, 2007 at 11:31 am said:

It’s funnier when you read it a second time people, you notice jokes you miss first time.
SM Intern on March 28, 2007 at 11:31 am said:

Hmm… I was thinking Arranged Marriage by Chitra Divakaruni, Hullabaloo in the Guava Orchard by Kiran Desai.

No, yes. 🙂