Eelam Idol

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a guerrilla group in possession of a national flower, must also be in want of a national anthem. The Tamil Tigers, having selected the poisonous Gloriosa Lily as their national flower last year, are now holding a contest for a new patriotic song. [Since 1990 they've been raising their flag to the appropriately titled "Look the Flag is Rising"]

Tamil Tiger rebels in Sri Lanka are advertising for “bards and minstrels with patriotic fervour” to write a catchy national anthem. The anthem should “symbolize the history of our struggle and victories to future generations,” the rebel statement says.

The lyrics should extol the “virtues of those who sacrificed their lives in Tamil struggle, celebrate the unique qualities of exclusiveness and resourcefulness of the Tamil homeland, and manifest the resoluteness, dedication and the aspirations of the Tamil people for freedom and dignity.”

“It should contain 18 lines – catchy and lively and in immaculate Tamil.”

Budding poets have until 27 November, “Tamil Eelam Martyrs Remembrance Day”, to come up with a suitable anthem. [Link]

Personally, I think that they’re missing an important opportunity here. Not only should the anthem be catchy and lively, but the entire process of anthem selection should also be appositely hip. To that end, I suggest the creation of Eelam Idol, a TV show designed to ensure that the resulting anthem is the people’s favorite. Hosted by MIA, Simon Cowell and a high Tamil Tiger official, the three judges could offer ascerbic commentary on the performances of the singer songwriters who volunteer to perform their proposed new version of the national anthem. The show would get killer ratings, both in Jaffna and abroad, and the new anthem would instantly top the charts! Guys, if you’re reading this, the idea is yours gratis. No really, there’s no need to meet for lunch …

25 thoughts on “Eelam Idol

  1. I’m not sure humor about the Tamil Tigers is justified. In my opinion they are a not-redeemable terrorist group.

  2. I’m not sure humor about the Tamil Tigers is justified. In my opinion they are a not-redeemable terrorist group.

    Thanks! I also feel it is grotesque to invent humor in this.

  3. That’s what the national flower is for – it’s poisonous. This is the reverse of the bachelor – the losers get the flowers, the winners get nothing.

  4. More from the BBC:

    TamilNet, the pro-rebel website, says the organisation wants residents of the north and east to grow what it is calling its national flower in homes, business premises and educational institutions.

    How charming. What’s a little poisonous plant or six in kindergartens and orphanages, eh? Perhaps a few to brighten up the hospital waiting room?

    George Orwell couldn’t make this shit up.

  5. Just to keep the hysteria in context: tulips and irises, the national flowers of Holland and France, are also poisonous.

    Everyone knows what the LTTE is and no one’s making excuses for them; the BBC should know what real news is and they have no excuse.

  6. What we are witnessing is the birth of a nation- the Tamil nation. Ridicule them all you want but they are more honorable than most Desi politicians and it appears they will march on no matter what. I wish we had their ballz

    Ever wonder if the goras made fun of indians the same way when we were shopping for a ‘national anthem’.

  7. tulips and irises, the national flowers of Holland and France, are also poisonous.

    Hysteria?

    Holland and France don’t revere the flowers purely for their poisonous properties, as the LTTE clearly does. The Dutch have long been known for tulip mania. A great many plants are considered toxic, including the diffenbachia commonly grown as house/office plants.

    But never fear, Tamilnet is here. Searching for f=”http://www.tamilnet.com/art.html?catid=79&artid=11778″>media bias in reportage of the LTTE flower choice.

    If you find child conscription, suicide cults and a mandated uniformity that makes Maoists appear free-spirited honorable…then, please, take the first plane to Jaffna. I’m sure you’ll have a lovely time.

  8. Holland and France don’t revere the flowers purely for their poisonous properties, as the LTTE clearly does.

    Yes, and let’s clearly ignore that the flower was chosen because it is red and yellow, the colors of the LTTE.

    Check your information and bias, it was low-brow journalism. There is no evidence that the LTTE chose the flower for its poisonous properties and that’s pretty clear from the BBC article and every other report out there.

  9. If the BBC is low-brow journalism, then who should we turn to for an unbiased perspective?

    I’m sorry, dogday/whoa, tiger. I’m not getting into this argument with you again.

  10. I’m not spitting fire on this nor am calling BBC a “low-brow” news-service. However, I am saying news that is skewed, sans evidence, to fit a political perspective is low-brow journalism.

    Standards are standards and what I’m talking about here is hardly different from what Sajit discusses in John McCain on Gandhi. In other words… Call a spade a spade, a Tiger a killer and the facts, not supposition, the truth.

    No, we’re not going to get into this again, I think I made that clear in my first comment.

  11. Guys, Please check the facts about the flower. It is not the flower that is poisonous.It is the root or the tuber national flower

    It is called “Niyagala” in Sinhala and “Karthigaipoo”(according to TamilNet.I don’t know Tamil).I can recognize it from photo because it is common in the country side. The fact is…. Sri Lanka has one of the highest suicide rates in the world (I think we are no 2 after Sweden). According statistics the most common methods are 1.Consumption of pesticides and weedicides used in farming. 2.Eating the tuber of “Niyagala” or Gloriosa Lily . 3.Eating the “Kaneru” nuts which can also be found in dry zone.

    So I guess the LTTE looked up the above list and found the one with the prettiest flower.

  12. I don’t like the way you guys ridicule the LTTE. They are battling for their freedom and don’t do any more destruction than the government army. Back to the topic- I think they will end up with a pretty good song that suits them

  13. They are battling for their freedom…

    No they’re not, they’re battling for their own political power. That’s why they prevented Sri Lankan Tamils from voting last week. Every revolution evolves into a political kleptocracy.

    … and don’t do any more destruction than the government army.

    Other than blowing up India’s prime minister.

  14. LTTE is trying to get their own political power becuz they don’t get treated fairly …tamils can’t become prime minister …have to get more and pay more to get things done then singhalese

    Tamils wwere stopped from voting with their own consent they weren’t forced. The reason why they didn’t vote was becuz they do not gain anyting from another singhalese political party. They were voicing the fact that the government does not matter anyways.

    ***if you don’t live or go through wat tamils go through don’t think you do iight.

  15. LTTE is trying to get their own political power becuz they don’t get treated fairly…

    Correct, the LTTE is trying to get its own political power, not power for the Tamils. The goals have changed.

    Tamils wwere stopped from voting with their own consent they weren’t forced.

    No, they were turned away by the LTTE:

    There were no polling stations inside L.T.T.E. areas. Where they had been erected, on the outskirts of rebel country, tires were burned on the roads, in an apparent attempt to stave off would-be voters from going to the polls. [Link]
    if you don’t live or go through wat tamils go through don’t think you do iight.

    And living in Toronto, you do?