SM reader, Kikali K. sends me this humorous send up of Snoop Dogg’s inane song, Drop It Like It’s Hot. I normally don’t support FOB humor but this is pretty funny. Looks like it was shown at the 2005 SASA conference. Check it out.
Category Archives: Humor
How to become a bubblegum pop star
Step 1: Be born to cave-chested parents. Or purge.
Step 2: Hose on some primer and paint. Pluck out your eyebrows so they’re Filipino nail salon thin. Erase all personality, standardize your face so you look like every other club birdie.
Step 3: Make sure your belly’s showing. Don a booty mini. Can’t do much about the cleavage (see step 1).
Step 4: Shoot a skank vid. Grab yourself as much as possible. Tacky eyeshadow is a plus.
Step 5: Do a fawning interview with a British or Canadian desi Web site.
If you get around to it: Oh yeah, cut a track too. Just jack the beats from someone else, I’m sure she won’t mind.
If you have any, get rid of it: originality, singularity, musical talent
See also: D’Luscious, Sneha Mistri, Deeyah
As Jin tha MC said, ‘Don’t take this in a (personal) fashion. Nope, it’s just a good ol’ lyrical bashin’.’ Just how boring is bubblegum pop?
(thanks, sd)
Bad Indian Boy
I don’t know quite how to break this news so I’m just gonna come out and say it. It turns out all the bitter Indian-male bashers that left comments here were right. As reported in the Hindustan Times [Tip via Suvendra D.]:
Married men in India proved to be the most unfaithful, where an astonishing 49 per cent actively seek sexual relationships on the web.
Pakistan was only second to India in the love rat stakes, with seven per cent of husbands using the Internet to seek extramarital sex, according to a newly published global study by dating site CupidBay.com.
This was followed by men from Egypt and Saudi Arabia, at six per cent and five per cent respectively.
Research found that UK men make some of the world’s most faithful partners, with only one per cent visiting dating websites in search of extramarital liaisons.
American men proved to be devoted to their wives, with just two per cent looking to cheat, although they were still twice as likely to do the dirty as their UK counterparts.
May God have mercy on our bad brown souls.
[disclaimer: of course keep in mind that the survey was taken on a dating/sex site thus introducing an inherent bias] Continue reading
Ravi Chand, melon eater
Following up on Abhi’s post on PETA’s sexiest vegetarian: Ravi Chand, one of the contestants, is exhibit A in why the de facto draft of military reservists is a bad idea. What happens when you take a pacifist from the liberal enclave of UC Santa Cruz and send him to Iraq? Snake eaters turning vegan and naked kissing in the streets, that’s what. Chand makes love and war:
Chand served as a corporal on the crew of an Amtrack amphibious tank. His unit came under direct fire when it was ambushed in the southern Iraqi city of Nasiriyah, he said… Chand said six Marines went vegetarian and one went vegan. [Santa Cruz Sentinel]Chand, a vegan U.S. Marine, claims vegetarians are sexier and slimmer because they don’t clog their arteries by eating saturated fat. “There’s nothing sexy about gnawing on the corpse of a dead animal,” Chand said. [New Haven Advocate]
Before going vegan, Ravi did only nominally on… a grueling test in which only the top 1% of the Marine Corps are physically equipped to score perfect on. However, just weeks after going vegan, he noticed huge endurance and strength gains… he scored perfect on the test. He ran the 3 mile run at an avg of 5 min 40 second miles, did 30 pullups, and aced the situp portion. [Animal Voices]
Chand, now a triathlete, is involved in a typical PETA stunt in which he gets paid to make out with a rotating selection of models (ok, I’m slightly jealous):
A crowd gathered… to watch a partially clothed man and woman on a mattress as part of PETA’s 10-city “Live Make-out Tour.” [Lansing City Pulse]
The sexiest wegetarian alive
SM tipster Flogging Mona directs my attention to the website of the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA).
Get Your Hot Tamales Here–
A picture is worth a thousand words, but after reviewing the pictures of the hundreds of sultry soy boys and Tofutti cuties who entered our “Sexiest Vegetarian†online photo contest, only one word comes to mind—HOT! The results are in, and our PETA panel has narrowed down the field. It’s time for you to pick the best from this crop of cruelty-free hotties and crown one guy and one gal the “Sexiest Vegetarian Alive.†Let us know which of the hot potatoes below lights your fire by choosing one woman and one man (don’t forget to click “Vote†at the bottom of the page). We’ll tally the votes and publish the winners’ photos in PETA’s Animal Times. Both winners will also receive a terrific cruelty-free prize package!
Thank you to all who entered. For those who missed the deadline, don’t despair—come back soon to GoVeg.com, where we’ll post details about how to strut your stuff in next year’s contest.
I am a little disappointed to see that despite the fact that Indians invented wegetarianism there is only 1 (maybe 2) brown person on the list. Next year we will submit Anna’s profile. Continue reading
Bad Indian Girl: Just how I like ’em
Tipster Dhrumil directs our attention to a new and entertaining little website: Bad Indian Girl.com
Welcome to BadIndianGirl.com. This is a one stop destination where Indian women who are mislabeled by their overbearing relatives can come together and vent. We at B.I.G. believe that there are many stereotypes within the Westernized Indian Community and such stereotypes should be approached in a humorous way. Some may feel that this site is desecrating Indian value systems that have been carefully brought upon us by our parents. Some may feel this site is poking fun at elderly Indian folks and disrespecting the Indian culture. And some may even feel that they can directly relate to the profiles of Raju, Payal, Pervert Uncle and the Nosy Auntie. It is not our job to protect people’s emotions that may be offended by the material. Our job is to take a funny approach to some frustrating issues prevalent in the general Indian Community. Of course there is no such thing as a “Bad Indian Girl†or even a “Good Indian Girlâ€Â. These are labels that are brought forth by community members who are quick to judge an individual based on her lifestyle. This site is designed to make you laugh. If it does anything other than that you are free to express your opinion on our forum or send us an email. In any case, please enjoy this site for what it is and remember a BadIndianGirl is as fictitious as any other character on this site.
Among the difficult issues covered on this site are:
-How to tell off your nosy auntie
-Top 10 signs that your family has secretly posted your profile on an Indian Matrimonial site
-How to handle the Pervert Indian Uncle of the Indian Community
The one that I am looking forward to is:
-How to prevent yourself from having Auntie Butt and Sari Rolls
(coming soon)
Hey, hey, ho, ho, oregano has got to go
Earlier we told you about the piping hot pizzas-for-visas scandal in Kannada, that frozen tundra up north which supplies the U.S. with totally non-white-bread talent like Sarah McLachlan and Matthew Perry. Ok, and Shania, I’ll give you that. A desi had publicly accused a Canadian minister of expediting immigration in exchange for free campaign pizza. That’s revenge served cold, eh.
Well, some riotgrrls up in the Great White North held a pro-immigrant protest addressed to the replacement minister. In an astonishingly clever innovation, they raised protest turnout by combining the two things grad students love most in the whole wide world:
- Stickin’ it to the Man, and
- Pizza
As Hominder would say, ‘Mmm… pizza.’
The ‘No Justice, No Pizza’ protest came just in thyme, but its salty language was peppered with cheesy slogans that left a bad taste in your mouth. We’d rather be nuked and quartered than stoop to unsavories just to satiate the pun-dits. And that’s my $3.25 on the subject.
Feeling testy
Yes, Azim Premji will ring the closing bell at the New York Stock Exchange today (via SAJA). Yes, he’s the world’s second-richest desi and the chairman of Wipro, India’s third-largest software outsourcing firm.
But will he succumb to Street superstition and pull an Aladdin on the bull’s magic lamps? There’s a reason why they’re so shiny, ya know.
I can’t imagine that fondling a water buffalo’s stocking stuffers would be an Indian billionaire’s favorite activity. It would be better for business if he provided the same service to a highly-placed government babu.
Doggz fizzle tha Dirty South is hot
South Indian bitches are in demand because they are “flexible, vegetarian, have excellent personalities and are low maintenance” that’s why Europeans and Asians sweat them. I would be remiss if I neglected to tell you that dogs and puppies from the dirty dirty are sought after, too. 😉
While Indians long to keep European breeds of dogs, many Westerners, especially the French, Germans and Greeks, as well as people in Singapore and Malaysia, prefer to get a South Indian pedigree dog, native to this town, according to two owners of a kennel here.
Ashok Kumar and Surendra Babu, owners of a kennel and who specialise in South Indian breeds, say they are unable to meet the demand for Rajapalayam dogs, also known as Paleiyakarans or Poligars. “Every month we get orders for 50 pairs, each costing Rs 4,500, from Indians and Westerners. But we are unable to meet the demand. We can supply only 20 pairs” they told a reporter.
As is common with any popular canine breed, idiots with dollar signs for pupils are involved; indiscriminate breeding and inbreeding are ubiquitous and dangerous to the breed’s survival.
Rajapayalams were originally bred to kill boars. The surge in interest in this rare type of dog is affecting other lines as well:
The Kennels also have the chippiparai breed, a hound used to kill pigs which destroy fields.
Apart from the Rajapalayam dogs, people of Shencottah near here are now reviving the genuine ‘Shencottah’ dogs, a rare breed, with the help of doctors, says Raviram, a kennel owner.
I should thank my zealously jealous dog, Jhansi ki Rani, for sending in this tip via a very special mad astronaut. No worries, girl. This South Indian bitch flips the script. Europeans can have their boar hounds, I’m all about my German Shepherd. 🙂
:+:
Special thanks to “Gizoogle” for solving my title-related writer’s block. Continue reading
Pinky-swear we’ll be friends forever…
Greetings, SM-readers.
I wanted to update y’all on FRIENDSTER, specifically SM’s presence on the Dadaji/Appachen of all Social Networking programs. You see, within days, we will have our 100th friendster. As any good social networking whore knows, reaching that hallowed point when your “number” is in the triple-digits is quite a warm, fuzzy feeling (not to be confused with that warm, burning feeling you had the day after SASA).
Since I often assign importance to completely meaningless events, I can’t wait to know which one of you will be the hundredth notch above our virtual bedpost. 😉
To drop in another useless metaphor, it reminds me of back in the day, when supermarkets would shower down confetti and balloons on their one-millionth visitor before giving them nifty prizes. Except you’re not getting any prizes…unless you’re counting the enlightened feeling you have after your daily dose of Mutiny.
So to recap: no confetti. No balloons. No cool prizes. No point to this post whatsoever. Just add us and get it over with; then I’ll get to focus on more weighty issues– like whether Bugs Bunny really needs to be updated for the spoiled brats of the twenty-first century. Continue reading