Category Archives: TV

Fatty fatwa

Posted on by

From the showing-up-on-the-radar dep’t: The Colbert Report, a Daily Show spinoff, satirizes religious outrage:

My fatwa was issued by certain religious leaders because… I happened to say that Halloween was a better holiday than Romadon…

After I slammed Gandhi for his eating disorder, the Hindus came after me with an eight-armed Sheeva squeeze…

I got the Dolly Lama to take a punch at me just because I said Boodism is a religion for chubby chasers…

Nazi pope Benedict the 16th wanted to excommunicate me just because I called him a Nazi pope.

(The names are spelled the way he pronounced ’em .)

That’s not a Shiva image I recognize, though maybe it’s a style I’m unfamiliar with. The reference strikes me as a bit Temple of Doom-ish — Americans make a beeline for death cults. But hey, a funny mention is better than no mention. Watch the video.

Continue reading →

It’s official. Candidate Bhakta.

Posted on by

It’s official. I mentioned in September that Raj Bhakta from the Apprentice’s first season was contemplating a run for Congress in Pennsylvania’s 13th district. Newsweek reported this weekend that it’s a go:

As a contestant on “The Apprentice,” Raj Bhakta was famous for his grand gestures: the bow ties, the walking stick, the time he hit on Donald Trump’s receptionist. So it’s not surprising that for his next act Bhakta is aiming for something big: Congress. Bhakta, 29, has never been elected to anything but project manager. But the real-estate developer thinks he’ll defeat incumbent Pennsylvania Democratic Rep. Allyson Schwartz in ’06. “People would be remiss to think, ‘Who is this guy from a television show?’ We’re not talking like I made it on ‘The Real World’.”

Beyond the prospect of Omarosa stumping for him, Bhakta is an unusual candidate. He’s a pro-choice Republican with reservations about President Bush’s policies toward Iraq and the economy. “One of the reasons I’m getting involved in politics is an overall platform of reform, reform, reform,” Bhakta says. “Our government needs to begin focusing on education, health care and the environment.”

Pro-choice Republican? Maybe we can get him to give a quote on his opinion of the Alito nomination? It is going to be especially difficult to run against an incumbent Democrat if you sound like you have reservations about Bush’s policies. Why not just leave the Democrat in office?

See previous posts.

Continue reading →

Lost in Translation

Posted on by

India Uncut points us at a series of fun blog posts over at Minor Scale.   Manoj has translated some choice South Indian film songs into anglais.  Most translations are just text but this one had pix and made me smile.   Next time some cultural elitist snob rants about how every piece of media was better in the original Tamil, Uyghur or !Xóõ, I’ll point ’em here –

SBC 03  SBC 04 

Proof that if you can’t have the pix, some folks really do listen to the lyrics.

Continue reading →

Apu’s got a blog!

Posted on by

When I read Anna’s recent post on the desi celebrity blogger of the moment, the comments of Chick Pea and Jai Singh caught my eye:

what’s next… apu and manjula’s blog from the kwik-e-mart life?

That would be a fantastic idea for another new-topic thread here on SM — we could all just keep adding fictitious “diary entries” by Apu. Manish, Abhi etc — do you guys want to make this happen ? I think it would be a lot of fun and potentially hilarious too.

Inspired by their comments, I decided to scour the internet to determine if that most redoubtable of Indian-American television celebrities, Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, was indeed a blogger.  And, um, turns out he is.  (Sorry if that was anticlimactic.) 

Of course, it’s possible that the aforelinked blog was not actually written by Apu, but rather by some sort of sick Apu impersonator.  In which case, would the real Apu Nahasapeemapetilon please stand up?  Please stand up?  Please stand up? 

Continue reading →

Homer converts…Rev. Lovejoy in shock

Posted on by

In my daily efforts to help bring you guys the most interesting stories from around the world, every once in a while I am just blown away.  Today is one of those days.  ABC News (via AOL news) reports on the revelation that Homer Simpson has embraced Islam:

After 17 seasons of entertaining U.S. audiences, “The Simpsons” can now be seen on Arab television. While U.S. foreign policy is not always a hit overseas, there is a huge audience for American popular culture.

So the Arab satellite network MBC is bringing the cartoon saga of Springfield to the heart of the Arab world. “The Simpsons” has been exported overseas and is now called “Al Shamshoon.”

With Omar instead of Homer, and Badr substituting for Bart, MBC hopes to win coveted young viewers. After all, 60 percent of the Arab world is 20 years old or younger. [link]

Here is the catch.  In an act of what can only be described as “censorship wizardry,” MBC has to convince its audience that the entire time Homer is at Moe’s tavern, he is simply enjoying a cold mug of…soda.  Oh wait…

Moe’s Bar has been completely written out of “Al Shamshoon.”

…MBC is making some changes as the characters go from American to Arab. They will remove references to things forbidden by the Koran, such as bacon, beer, and other references that might be construed as offensive.

Homer Simpson’s ubiquitous Duff beer will now be soda in the Arab version of the show.

Ooooh, that’s–got–too hurt–the Duff man.  Apu can’t sell hotdogs anymore but will instead sell “Egyptian beef sausages.”

With characters who are Jewish (like Krusty the Clown), Hindu (like Kwik-E-Mart owner Apu) and Christian (like the family’s pastor, Rev. Lovejoy), Al Jean — “The Simpsons” executive producer — says those changes mean they aren’t “The Simpsons” anymore.

You can watch a video of the story on the AOL website I linked above.

Continue reading →

Posted in TV

Rub a Dub Dub

Posted on by

One of my goals in life is to figure out a way to get paid to watch Bollywood movies and yell at the TV screen.  According to an article in Salon by Sumana Harihareswara, someone (actually four someones) has beaten me to it:

“Uncle Morty’s Dub Shack,” which just finished its first season on the ImaginAsian cable network, is the “Mystery Science Theater 3000” of bad Asian films, and like its predecessor with the then-unknown Comedy Central, it could help put the obscure iaTV on the map. The conceit of the show is that four loser friends — Trevor, Aladdin, Jimbo and John — earn a little extra cash dubbing martial arts, action and Bollywood films into English at the Dub Shack, run by an old crank named Morty. Uncle Morty doesn’t have the translated scripts, so the friends turn the movie scenes into sketch comedy. For those of us who didn’t warm to MST3K, “Uncle Morty’s” is easier to love, because it’s only half an hour long (the films are significantly, and mercifully, edited down), and the writers create believable alternate narratives for the flicks instead of merely smirking at them.

Unfortunately, iaTV is not offered by my satellite provider, so I had to make do with the clips on Uncle Morty’s website.  (Of the Bollywood clips, I enjoyed “Goatman” and “Chicken Members” the most.)  The episode guide lists Dushman Duniya Ka, Dand Nayak, and Soch among the cinematic treasures given the Dub Shack treatment.  (The channel has also been airing the intriguingly-titled Duplicate Sholay.)

Continue reading →

All Hail Toral

Posted on by

We introduced Toral to mutineers with a gentle reminder to her that “all glory is fleeting” and my oh my how true it was. On Thursday, October 13, her Apprentice star was extinguished in dramatic fashion after a run of just 4 episodes. While probably not an ideal role model, we can answer Desi media critics and say that this week at least 1 TV show was truly led by a desi characterThis week at least 1 TV show was truly led by a desi character.

The episode’s story arc traced Toral’s fall starting with her perilous escape from last week’s boardroom – something Trump pointed out was her high point in words almost fitting a Greek Oracle – “Enjoy the view, Toral“.

The subsequent verdict from the flock of Cassandras was immediate and fierce –

“Not bringing Toral into the boardroom isn’t loyalty, it’s stupidity”

And in Waiting to Exhale fashion, a caucus was called where her teammates admonished her to step up the plate and run like she hadn’t run before. The die was cast as her teammate’s demands were diametrically opposed to Toral’s master plan –

Continue reading →

Posted in TV

No torus for you

Posted on by

A video clip of Toral Mehta’s firing on The Apprentice has been posted. She’s not just the new Omarosa, she’s the new Narinder Kaur, the definitive chavette from the UK’s Big Brother:

Narinder has been married for seven years but the 28-year-old Geordie says she was “looking for a snog” when she went into the Big Brother House… [she] erupted in a torrent of abuse about her housemates [in] a four-letter tirade… [and] had a string of bust-ups with fellow contestants… [Link]

There was a lot of racism in the part of Newcastle where we lived and it didn’t help being the only brown face in my school. I got bullied a lot. On the way to school I’d read ‘Narinder Paki’ scribbled on the bus stop and when I got there, I’d get picked on and the teachers would do nothing. Most people didn’t even know my name – ‘that Paki girl’ was enough…

I was showing British people that modern Indian girls could get drunk and have a laugh and still say their prayers… I remember drunkenly telling my husband I was going to be famous. He was like, alright, all I want to do is get your kit off… So why do I keep sticking my tits and neck out and go to so many premieres, you ask. Why the hell shouldn’t I?… [Link]

Mehta spazzed out in the boardroom, was punted to the curb and gave her teammates the back of the hand on cab-cam. Squirrel-hair called her ‘divisive,’ a nicer way of putting it.

Watch the video. Here’s the official site for the self-proclaimed ‘unforgettable business genius.’ Previous posts: one, two.

Continue reading →

Posted in TV

The Toral is Unleashed

Posted on by

I’ve been working like a dog the past few months & one of my few connections to pop culture has been my beloved TiVo.  So, after a day of conference calls & meetings, I decided to vege a bit and watch last week’s Apprentice and check out how Sepia Mutiny’s friend Toral Mehta was doing.

Now, in contrast to Raj who dished up the drama almost from the outset, Toral’s been disappointingly flying beneath the radar and laying low.   No longer – last week her fangs were unleashed and my-oh-my what snobby, elitist, east coast fangs they were.   A few choice quotes –

“I’m from Wharton …we’re really here to demonstrate work ethic and that’s a different style of thinking from those individuals who have not been trained by large corporate institutions

“I would have to say that there are a group of women here [pointing at a gaggle of laughing blondes] who have banded together based on the fact that they have no work experience.   I like them all on a personal level, I think they’re cute people if I had a secretary job or an administrative job, I’d happily hire any of these people”

Oh Boy.   Now that’s a good way inspire folks.  Note to The Toral, it’s one thing to not forget the little people as you rocketship takes off.   It’s a different thing to tell ’em they’re little before your ship has even left the ground. 

Continue reading →

Wildflower wideo

Posted on by

My singer-songwriter buddy Shaheen Sheik just got her first video onto MTV Desi. Brownie, you’re doing a heck of a job!

We cut a video for ‘Wildflower World.’ MTV came to the set to shoot some behind the scenes footage and an interview with me. I even got to hold the MTV microphone! It’s all so surreal… the segment is airing on MTV Desi News every day this week at 6:50am, 10:50am, 2:50pm, 6:50pm, 10:50pm, 2:50am.

She’s a law school dropout, classical dancer and blogger. Afreen afreen, eh, Nusrat?

… i have literally grown up on stage. since the time i can remember, i have been rehearsing or performing… maybe there are folks who’ve never had to strip down on the side of the stage to make a 45 second costume change with the tech guys politely turning their heads and your fellow dancers frantically tucking things and wrapping you in costumes while you can feel the sweat running down your body…

there is not another thing in my life that i’ve experienced that has given me the kind of high from dancing with abandon. not drugs, not sex, not even a first kiss with a new beau. [Link]

Amen, sistah. Listen to ‘Wildflower World’ from her new indie album, Rock Candy. I promise you she’s better than the last singing phenomenon from Berkeley  Taking struggling-artist dedication to new heights, she’s even singing the national anthem tomorrow night for the hockey team with the implausible name, the Anaheim Los Angeles Mighty Ducks.

Previous posts: one, two, three.

Continue reading →