Piracy, Desi Arts, and DJ Sanj

It is a well-known fact in the South Asian community that one of the main reasons desi artists do not do well at the box office or in record stores is because of our community’s acceptance of piracy. Why pay full price for something, when you can get a rip-off of the original for half the price, right?

I know there have been some raids on Indian stores in the US, more for pirated dvd’s than music, but it seems that the meteoric rise of the British Asian music industry has sparked British law enforcement into action. Last week, the British Phonographic Industry (BPI), began raiding Indian stores to try and stop the sale and distribution of the album “Authorised” by DJ Sanj which was released on bootleg records but who is signed to EnvyRoma records, mainly for its illegal use of uncleared music samples and vocals, a problem that seems to be a regular occurrence in Asian music—think PMC’s Mundian to Bach Ke biting from busta rhymes, who bit from Knight Ryder. That sample was eventually cleared, but most of the samples aren’t.

The BPI confirmed it was investigating complaints by some of its members surrounding the remix album, released by Bootleg Recordings and distributed by the Birmingham based Hi Tech Music label. BPI Director of Anti-Piracy David Martin said: “We believe that this remix album uses lengthy samples of our members’ sound recordings without permission.” He added: “Of course we take every complaint we receive in relation to our membersÂ’ rights very seriously, and we are investigating the situation.”

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Charlie and the Brownie Factory

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory will star Mr. Soggybottom himself, the little person Deep Roy, playing every single Oompa Loompa at once (via Hollywood Masala). Thank goodness for CGI. I refer not to Roy’s hectic shooting schedule but to the SAG overtime pay scale.

Shelley Conn from the British Asian miniseries Second Generation also has a role, as does a new actor named Ray Verma. Multiple desi roles in a mainstream movie? I smell Brits.

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Even Gogol’s got a blog

Sometimes being a movie star sucks because you’ve got a lot of down time between seeing all your wardrobe options (no sarcasm intended). What would YOU do with said downtime? Well Kalpen Modi (a.k.a. Kal Penn) does the same thing that I would do were I an actor with down-time (besides using my popularity to hit on girls of course): he blogs as if he were born to. [thanks to Kunal Bhaumik for the tip]

In the glamorous world of filmmaking, I am sitting on the floor in a corner of a bedroom at 1:20 in the morning, waiting to try on wardrobe options. Think about that next time you see an actor on the street, romanticize what we do because you watch too much “Extra” and read too much “US Weekly”.

I shot a scene with my mom and sister (Tabu and Sahira, respectively), and was about to leave for the day. But we havenÂ’t found the right wardrobe for a few upcoming scenes, so Arjun (our energetic and talented costume designer) asked me to hang around for a while. I brought my laptop with me, and was emailing a little bit; then I realized this is probably what they meant when they said they wanted me to do a bit of blogging about how films are made.

Okay, but I do have one self-centered question? Why isn’t Sepia Mutiny on his blogroll? Surely a blog isn’t a blog without a proper roll? I know he reads us (well at least once).

April 1, 2005– Hello! Welcome to the Namesake weblog. If youÂ’re reading this, it probably means youÂ’re a fan of the novel, “The Namesake”, and are curious about the film adaptation weÂ’re shooting. This afternoon, I was asked by James (the Fox Searchlight Publicist in charge of “The Namesake”) if IÂ’d be up for keeping a sort of online journal through the shoot, so here goes…

I guess we should give my parents credit for birthing and raising me. Oh, and my guidance counselor, for inciting rebellion in me when she said that the biggest mistake I could ever make would be to “throw your life away by trying to do this whole acting nonsense, Kalpen!”

Wow. That’s what my “counselor” told me about blogging as well. I was a rebel too.

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Over my head

This post is about part-desi actresses who pass for white or Arab in mediocre movies which you’ve actually seen, whose ethnicity you learn later, then feel a really big d’oh! coming on, like Homer Simpson missing the email about an overturned tanker-trailer full of jelly donuts.

Exhibit A: Zuleikha Robinson, the Bedouin love interest in Hidalgo and daughter of Shylock in The Merchant of Venice.

My father is English and my mother is mostly Indian and a little bit of Burmese and a little bit of Arabic I was born in England and then I moved to San Francisco, then we moved to Malaysia, and Thailand, and Singapore. By this time I was thirteen and I left to go to boarding school in England.

I hope she means Arab. Robinson is currently filming the part of Moushmi, the love interest in The Namesake.

Exhibit B: Rhona Mitra, the New York friend in Sweet Home Alabama (and Lara Croft).

… my dad is from Calcutta. But I’m also part Irish. It’s a confusing heritage. I never know if I want to be running across the fields with no clothes on or sitting in the pub drinking Guinness… we used to nick holy wine from the church and drink it in the potato patch at the back of the school.

Hmm, yes, that’s definitely convent school behavior. Whether Indian or Irish, I can’t say. Here’s a fun quote out of context (thanks, Chandni):

Q: But you have had your breasts enlarged.

A: Yes, but my dad had nothing to do with it… apparently a load of people phoned up the hospital where he works, the next day asking for tits like Rhona Mitra.

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‘100 Promises to My Baby’ by Mallika Chopra

Deepak Chopra’s daughter released a new book, entitled “100 Promises to My Baby”:

As she eagerly awaited the birth of her first child, Mallika Chopra began to craft a unique gift that would express her profound loving commitment to the baby growing inside of her. 100 Promises to My Baby is that gift – one that reflects her deep awareness of the sacred responsibilities of parenthood. Here the author shares the vows she made to help her child – and all children – grow up feeling cherished and secure, look at the world with wonder and curiosity, and learn spiritual values that enrich life and contribute to making the world a better place. [Rodale Store]

The first, and possibly most important, promise:
#1. You’ll never have to patronize any of grandpa’s “spirituality” seminars.

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Fear and loathing in Austin

The infamous Ajai Raj is an English major and campus journalist who idolizes Hunter S. Thompson and swears like Cartman. He complains about being busted for pot:

The Pigfucking Establishment had other plans. My roommate and I were awakened at 3 A.M. by two grinning Austin Police Department officers and a greasy-haired fat fuck of an RA who gets his jollies by hanging around with his thumb in his ass until he smells marijuana so he can inform the Justice League in exchange for a free raffle ticket. No shit– as the cops cuffed me for having an ounce of grass, this fucker got a chance to win a free microwave. Or to suck off a sheriff, as far as I know or care.

I was led in handcuffs into a waiting room full of crazy yelling degenerates, wife beaters, whores, thieves, and contemptible crying cunts… my balls were fondled by leering criminals posing as representatives of justice… according to our “justice” system, a straight-A college kid holding a bag of weed is as bad a criminal as a guy who beats his wife and kid. I learned that in Texas, a cop can decide to arrest you for no reason at all and you can sit in jail for 72 hours before you’re even charged with a crime…

The law is sticking all kinds of fingers in my asshole right now, but with a few savvy business deals, I can plow through this shit and come out smelling like roses. Ironic, really–to get out of this drug charge, I’m forced to arrange bigger drug deals than I ever intended to. C’est la vie, non?

Raj worships the original gonzo journalist…

Hunter S. was, and is, my hero. No other writer has had a greater impact on my way of thinking…

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Thugs on film

The Daily Show covered a UK campaign event, contrasting the fully-scripted campaign commercials Dubya passes off as town halls with the brutal British ones. A desi guy in the audience virtually yelled at the British prime minister about the Iraq war:

That is a lie. You lied to this country, and that’s why we can’t support you the following election.

Wow, actual political commentary instead of rear entry and a hand job. So Ajai Raj continues to squat on his dubious throne.

Watch the video. The back of the hand is at 2:03 in the clip.

Separately, Raj got his mug splashed all over Fox News. Ann Coulter started off gracious:

He asked one of the more intelligent questions from the liberals… I like question and answer… It was no worse than the other ones…

But then her tone turned nasty:

Challenging questions are a little more fun than someone standing up and engaging in Tourette’s syndrome at the mike, but that’s kind of funny too… Who was he trying to persuade with that?

She added sarcastically:

Oh, and he’s attractive… I can’t really tell them apart. Good-lookin’ guy like that doesn’t really stand out in any leftist crowd…

Watch the video.

Previous Ajai Raj posts: 1, 2, 3

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