Category Archives: Arts and Entertainment

Weird Al, meet weird Vik

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We asked for just one little thing: stop it with the crappy FOB parodies. But no, you just had to make another one, didn’tcha

This new one by parodists MC Vikram and Ludakrishna is pretty cute: ‘Curry Rice Girl‘ is ‘Hollaback Girl’ as a cry of matrimonial despair (thanks, Anita). This shit is bananas, B-I-O-D-A-T-A!

The sad thing is, this slapstick in-joke is indistinguishable from most ABCD movies on fast forward.

Watch the video. Here’s a backup torrent (you need a BitTorrent downloader: Windows, Mac).

Similar parodies: one, two, three, four

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Wah, po’ Maya

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The WaPo harps on our favorite word here at Sepia Mutiny: not M.I.A., ‘exotic.’ Ain’t nothing unusual about Maya’s phenotype (thanks, Turbanhead):

… that hasn’t stopped some critics from dismissing her as “the love child” of Neneh Cherry and Che Guevara and harping on her exotic runway model looks… [Link]

But her aesthetic was also intimately familiar: her small-faced, tousle-haired cutenesss resembles my female Berkeley classmates; the South Indian hip-hop fans at Berkeley are legion. [Link]

Arular is to Maya what Ravi Shankar is to Norah, more or less:

After reading about M.I.A. in the Sri Lankan Times, Arulpragasam sent her a note saying, “I’m very proud of you, but you have to change the name of the album. Dad.” She didn’t. “What can you do?” she asks pointedly. “There’s many things I’m not pleased about that he’s done, so hey. . . . ” [Link]

MTV turns out to be prudish. Who knew? (And uninformed in Sri Lankan cuisine.)

MTV also questioned the subtext of “salt and pepper my mango,” which turned out to be culinary rather than sexual… [Link]

This, from the channel that put ‘Freak-a-Leak’ on heavy rotation:

I need a girl I can freak with, and wanna try shit, and ain’t scared of a big d–
And love to get her p– licked, by another bitch, cuz I ain’t drunk enough ta do dat.
[and so on… Link]

Journalism is going to the dogs. First they quote Nirali, next thing you know they’ll be quoting blogs  (Congrats…)

M.I.A. told the South Asian online magazine Nirali that she “wanted to see if I could write songs about something important and make it sound like nothing.” [Link]

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Desiburg

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My Brooklyn ‘hood is on the water facing Manhattan. Aside from being musician central, Williamsburg is a half-blue collar, half-gentrifying neighborhood with four ethnicities: Polish-stan, Hasidic-stan, Latino-stan and Hipsterville (Diesel denim with red stitching, messenger bag in earth tones, fauxhawk bed-head and a big gay belt buckle). It’s also got a high PQ (poseur quotient.) I swear upon your grandma’s shriveled National Geographics that I’ve seen people sell pink trucker hats by the subway entrance with an airbrushed ‘Bitch’ on the front.

Sometimes you run into desis with pierced eyebrows and mutton-chop sideburns. You know those signs on Disneyland rides, ‘You must be this tall to ride?’ The L train has a sign, ‘You must be this hip to move here.’ I’m totally dragging down the curve as a stealth sinc duppie (single-income-no-colonialism desi-urban-professional). Tonight a thin brown girl in a black sack dress rode a big Huffy with wide handlebars down the sidewalk, the kind of bike you see in pre-WWII photos. We exchanged subtle, curious glances while trying not to let the other intrude on our indie brown singularity.

>> Read the whole thing

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Quixotic (for a) cause – Updated

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sepiaTV.jpg Lawd, what will these crayzee Sri Lankans do next?!

The answer, my friends, is glowing on TV, the answer is glowing on TV.

Tune in this morning to watch Suresh Joachim try to set the Guinness World Record for marathon TV viewing by watching ABC for 75 hours straight. He broke the current record of 50 hours, 7 minutes yesterday on “Live with Regis and Kelly,” during the Guinness World Record Breaker Week. Yes, watch ABC to watch a desi watching ABC. How meta.

Live webcam feed here.

But let’s back up a sec. Who here knew “Live with Grouchy and Yappy” had a Guinness Record Breaker Week? Raise your hand, you uber-desi, you! Suddenly the Reeg’s yorkiepoo face looks an awful lot like that of my Tedious-Know-It-All-Uncle who wouldn’t shut up about the girl who balanced a teacup on her nose for days, or the boy who barked for a week. What the hell did any of that have to with Medical School anyway?

Amazingly, Suresh Joachim does have a method to his madness. From his website, a statement of purpose: sepiasuresh.gif

“I, Suresh Joachim, am deeply disturbed and stirred by the ongoing violence and its direct impact on children…all my endeavors will be designed to help suffering children all over the world.

To spread my message in World I am attempting new world records with the aim of spreading world peace and to create an awareness of suffering children. The UFFORSC (Universal Fund For Suffering Children) branch has been inaugurated in Australia, Canada for helping millions of suffering children in Asia and Africa.

My ultimate aim is to carry a peace torch commencing in 2006 from Jerusalem (Jesus Birth Place) to Australia…covering 6,000 km to raise one billion dollars for my purpose.

My homeboy ain’t foolin’, you know. He already holds some thirty Guinness world records, including: Continue reading →

Da Star in dastar

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My favorite example of an unexpected turban is the one on the head of jazz keyboardist Dr. Lonnie Smith, who bears more than a passing resemblance to my father (even my dad has remarked upon this).  [Photo on the top right]

Who is Lonnie Smith?

Dr. Lonnie Smith is internationally known as one of the premier jazz keyboardists in the history of the idiom. A dominant talent and pace-setting proponent of the Hammond B3 Organ and widely recognized and gifted pianist, Lonnie has been at the forefront of the jazz scene since 1969 when he was named Top Organist by Downbeat Magazine. Most recently, Dr. Smith has been awarded the Organ Keyboardist of the Year award in 2003, 2004 and 2005 by the Jazz Journalist Association.

Interestingly, when asked about the turban, he makes reference to Sikhism. He also keeps his hair long and in a top-knot, like Sikh men do. You can see it in the photo quite clearly. It is unclear to me whether he is a convert to Sikhism, however. There’s only one interview I can find where Sikhism is mentioned, and the writer doesn’t pass along any information of use. He certaintly looks like a Sikh, and that’s a very Sikh style of turban, but nobody (not even a friend who is in 3HO) seems to know.

The Turbans

There’s actually quite a tradition of (mainly black) musicians in the 1950s and 1960s wearing turbans. The bottom photo on the left is of a group that even called itself the Turbans:

The Turbans were a Philadelphia based R&B vocal group that had chart success in the mid-50…. the Turbans are credited with performing the first hit record to include the phrase ‘doo-wop’. [cite]

Personally, I’m looking forward to a time when my local racist assholes decide to yell “Lonnie Smith” at me as they drive by, rather than “Osama” or “Saddam” or “Raghead” or “Diaperhead” or “Sand N–er” whatever the f- – – floats into their minds at that moment. Then I’ll know that turbans have really made it. Until such a time, I’ll have to content myself with the fact that Lonnie Smith is one damn fine looking man with his turban and beard, and that the racists here hate me (in part) because I’m beautiful .

You can see a whole bunch of photos of Dr. Lonnie Smith, or read an interview with him in Jazz Times Magazine.

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An ABCD in Amsterdam

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Work & biz travel has been kicking my butt the past few months so I haven’t been able to uphold my end of the Sepia Mutiny bargain of late.   I was however, in Amsterdam last week (on business!) and had a few moments of (sober) time.  ABCD dork that I am, it’s always fun to look for the little signs of desi influence…

Honors for Desi “pride of place” in the US probably goes to Bombay– it ain’t too hard in most good sized cities to find a Bombay Palace, Bombay Bazaar, Bombay Place, etc.    In Amsterdam, on the other hand, the Desi city that secures branding is Goa – the apropos name for one of the city’s many famous, euphemistically named, “coffeeshops”

It’s well nigh impossible for a desi techie to observe the “bicycle rickshaws” peddling tourists up and down the streets & demur that not all technological progress is, uh, monotonic.

These poor, exploited Dutch cyclists, if only they could afford a noxious 2 stroke, soot-spewing engine to alleviate their burden.

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Peekin’ Sandy

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Commenter Angie points us to Sandy Dalal née Sanjiv Agashiwala, a competitive fencer from Penn who got turned on to fashion at his mom’s import-export business and ended up a menswear designer in Manhattan. He’s also qui’ fi’, as the Brits might say, and his light-colored peepers made People’s beauty list in ’98.

Bronx-born Sandy Dalal has followed in the footsteps of other famous northern-borough fashion designers Calvin Klein and Ralph Lauren to become one of the hottest men’s wear designers around. Dalal won the 1998 CFDA’s Perry Ellis Award for Menswear while still attending the University of Pennsylvania. [Link]

He was also named as one of People magazine’s “50 Most Beautiful People” in the same year. Sandy Dalal’s clothing can be found in prominent stores like Barney’s, Bloomingdale’s, Saks Fifth Avenue… [Link]

Bjork, Beck, Wyclef Jean and members of Duran Duran, Foo Fighters and Third Eye Blind wear his clothing during performances. [Link]

Once brown, always brown:

He is known for using beautiful and luxurious fabrics and for mixing patterns — unusual in a men’s wear line. [Link]

The double standard between male beauty and female — male models and ‘manhunts‘ are not taken seriously:

How does it feel to know you’re known for your face as much as for your clothes?
Dalal: Right now it’s a cool gig where I can feed off the clothes and the clothes can feed off me, and rightfully so…

It seems like you don’t take yourself too seriously, despite the awards and fame. How come?
Dalal: How seriously can you take it? Clothes don’t talk back to you. [Link]

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This turban’s disturbin’

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On the late-night community access channel, Dr. Khemfoia Padu, who appears to be black, dons a saffron turban and shills pills with whale tails.

Dr. Padu is the Director of The Natural Healing Foundation… He is a licensed Chiropracter, Herbologist, Nutritionist, as well as a Theologian and Martial Artist. [Link]

I’m not sure whether the pagri pitches desi mysticism, evokes black musicians who wore turbans or references turbans in Africa.

Erykah Padu’s turban may be genuine, but I’m thoroughly irritated that desi culture is associated in the U.S. with hippies and New Age. You can’t go to an all-veg pizza place without drowning in ads for crystals and tarot cards. That ain’t right. A subculture has branded a billion and a half people, the tail wags the wog.

In one freakish conflation of the Indian revolutionary movement with American hippies, a town in Massachussetts actually banned a Gandhi statue. It was the absolute height of clusterfuck ignorance:

Gita Mehta details the extent of the hippie infatuation with South Asia in her classic book, Karma Cola. Westerners seek instant salvation; Easterners the quick rupee. Gurus could pack entire astrodomes in the ’60s, levitation was believed to signal salvation, and Western disciples believed above all else in moksha through easy sex and hard drugs. At one point there were over 100,000 hippies trekking all over South Asia searching for enlightenment in woolly-minded religious platitudes and a variety of uppers and downers. Religion and opium for the masses: no wonder Sherborn, Massachusetts, would have none of it.

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An Angle too Conventional

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himanshu bhatia.jpg WeÂ’ve received a few tips (Thanks, Mytri and Brimful!) about an article entitled “A Flair for the Unconventional”, which ran in the New York Times on Sunday. Following your links, I expected to be slightly bored by something dealing with outsourcing or tech or consulting blah blah blah. I was prepared to let one of the staff entrepreneurs/business titans tackle it, so I could get back to writing a more ANNA-esque post. 😉

But when the page loaded, I was slightly startled to see a striking Brown woman whose picture sat atop a sidebar of “important details” about her: her title (Chief Executive of Rose International, an IT services company in the Midwest), her birth date, her nickname (Himanshu became “Sue”), even what she likes to do in her spare time (nature walks). The last bold, highlighted, impossible-to-miss bit of information contained…

her weight-control regimen?

Are you kidding me? Continue reading →