Quixotic (for a) cause – Updated

sepiaTV.jpg Lawd, what will these crayzee Sri Lankans do next?!

The answer, my friends, is glowing on TV, the answer is glowing on TV.

Tune in this morning to watch Suresh Joachim try to set the Guinness World Record for marathon TV viewing by watching ABC for 75 hours straight. He broke the current record of 50 hours, 7 minutes yesterday on “Live with Regis and Kelly,” during the Guinness World Record Breaker Week. Yes, watch ABC to watch a desi watching ABC. How meta.

Live webcam feed here.

But let’s back up a sec. Who here knew “Live with Grouchy and Yappy” had a Guinness Record Breaker Week? Raise your hand, you uber-desi, you! Suddenly the Reeg’s yorkiepoo face looks an awful lot like that of my Tedious-Know-It-All-Uncle who wouldn’t shut up about the girl who balanced a teacup on her nose for days, or the boy who barked for a week. What the hell did any of that have to with Medical School anyway?

Amazingly, Suresh Joachim does have a method to his madness. From his website, a statement of purpose: sepiasuresh.gif

“I, Suresh Joachim, am deeply disturbed and stirred by the ongoing violence and its direct impact on children…all my endeavors will be designed to help suffering children all over the world.

To spread my message in World I am attempting new world records with the aim of spreading world peace and to create an awareness of suffering children. The UFFORSC (Universal Fund For Suffering Children) branch has been inaugurated in Australia, Canada for helping millions of suffering children in Asia and Africa.

My ultimate aim is to carry a peace torch commencing in 2006 from Jerusalem (Jesus Birth Place) to Australia…covering 6,000 km to raise one billion dollars for my purpose.

My homeboy ain’t foolin’, you know. He already holds some thirty Guinness world records, including:Sepiabowl.jpg

- 100 hours of bowling
- Longest time spent standing motionless 21 hours and 30 minutes
- Longest modelling on catwalk, 133.2 km
- Longest time spent balancing on one foot, 76 hours and 40 minutes
- Travelling up and down an escalator continuously for seven days
- Longest distance travelled while carrying a 4.5 kg brick in an ungloved hand, 126.675 km
- Longest dance marathon, 400 hours
- Longest non-stop drumming marathon, 84 hours
- Longest non-stop band performance by a 14-strong group of musicians, 42 hours and 52 minutes
- Longest distance traveled while balancing a milk bottle on a head, 133.3 km
- Longest distance crawled non-stop, 56.6 km
- Longest radio DJ marathon, 133.2 km
- Longest movie-watching marathon, 53 hours

And that’s just for starters. Among my favorites (scroll down):

- Accompanied by 79 Bridesmaids on his wedding at the Christ the King Church, Mississauga Ontario, Canada on 6 September 2003

- Accompanied by 47 Groomsmen on his wedding at the Christ the King Church, Mississauga Ontario…

- Created the world’s longest bouquet, measuring 62.09 metres in length at the Christ the King Church…

His wife must have the patience of Job.

Sorry for the short notice, but if you want to cheer on this strangely noble quest, head over to the WABC studio at 67th St & Columbus (NYC) before or around 10 am. You just might celebrate with the goofy Canuck as he contemplates his future plans. (Thanks ANNA and Arzan!)

By the way, guess who set the record for highest cricket score by team – 952 for 6? :p

UPDATE: He did it!

Couch potato, thy name is Suresh. Suresh Joachim broke the Guinness world record for the longest time spent watching TV. He finished Friday with 69 hours and 48 minutes.

“I’m going to be a little tired of watching TV after this,” Joachim told The Associated Press by phone during a brief break.

Related Posts: Eka, Deka, Thuna.

10 thoughts on “Quixotic (for a) cause – Updated

  1. He’s got another stated purpose – going after the guy that’s broken the most Guinness Records:

    http://www.onthemedia.org/transcripts/transcripts_090905_record.html

    That guy’s reasons?

    “[Ashrita Furman]…was Keith Furman, a nice Jewish boy from Queens…[who] read Siddhartha…which led him to Eastern philosophy, which led him to transcendental meditation…[and] Sri Chinmoy, an Indian holy man who teaches a particularly strenuous path to spiritual enlightenment.”

    He feels that the universe has dictated this path for him:

    ” For me it was like a spiritual experience, because right at the moment that I broke the record I did 100,001 [pogo stick] jumps I was in Central Park and this peacock started like screaming at three o’clock in the morning, and like in Indian mythology that’s like a victory cry, kind of. It was like very kind of cosmic thing.

  2. surprisingly he can stand balancing on one foot longer (71 hours) than he can stand motionless…hmmm

  3. probably he had an itch or something that wrecked the motionless record?

    One can do all sorts of things while standing on one leg ;) I mean like eat, hop around, take a bath, etc.

  4. this is totally baseless and not rooted in any scientific survey, but does anyone else feel that Desis LOVE setting Guinness Records??

  5. Cicatrix

    I like the one-liner at the end of the post…952 for 6.

    U r inciting the wrath of a billion mutineers…u realize that rite. !!

  6. U r inciting the wrath of a billion mutineers…u realize that rite. !!

    Don’t hate, appreciate!

    :P

  7. does anyone else feel that Desis LOVE setting Guinness Records??

    I don’t know about setting records, Kumar, but I think they ARE oddly fascinated (from the post):

    Who here knew “Live with Grouchy and Yappy” had a Guinness Record Breaker Week? Raise your hand, you uber-desi, you! Suddenly the Reeg’s yorkiepoo face looks an awful lot like that of my Tedious-Know-It-All-Uncle who wouldn’t shut up about the girl who balanced a teacup on her nose for days, or the boy who barked for a week.
  8. OMG. Could you imagine dancing with him for 400 hours? Could YOU imagine dancing for 400 hours period? That’s amazing. Clearly a do-er not a talker.

  9. I just wanted to say, that you should be very proud of all the things you’re trying to accomplish. I wish ypu the best in all your future efforts in doing whatever it takes to get your point across.

    If ever I attempt one of your records, I hope that you’ll understand my cause behind it. Also, I know you’ll probably just take the record right back.

    Well, I hope you get this e-mail. If yoou’d like, please feel free to e-mail me back. It’s always good to have someone to talk to.

    Take care, and the best of luck with all your future plans. JOHN D. Szarko Sr.