Category Archives: Arts and Entertainment

The poor Ghauri Family

Posted on by

There are many sacrifices that I make in order to do my duty as an SM blogger. I can’t always hang out with my friends when I want to, I can’t always stay for dessert because I have to rush home to blog, and sometimes, like today, I have to really sacrifice my mental well-being and take one for the team. It seems that the second episode in season number four of the Paris Hilton/Nicole Ritchie car-wreck-of-a-show features the ladies living with a Pakistani American family:

Domestic bliss with Nicole

Episode 2: The Ghauri Family
Paris and Nicole trade in their designer dresses for traditional saris when they take over the responsibilities of a traditional Pakistani mom. With the patient help of their “husband” and Americanized fifteen-year-old “son,” the girls manage to dress, speak and dance like conservative Pakistani housewives…or at least their version of it. But things don’t go as well when Paris and Nicole decide to share their experiences, namely how they like to party. [Link]

Yeah, I saw you cringe behind your computer screen just then. Reuters has more:

…here they are with Season 4, on a new network (hullo, E! Bye-bye, Fox), after having struck a unique compromise: They’d do the show, but not at the same time.

The subtitle “‘Til Death Do Us Part” alludes to the celebutantes’ infiltrating families for crash courses in marriage and motherhood. The first episode, which wasn’t supplied for review, finds Paris and Nicole (separately) taking the place of a nine-months-pregnant woman, wearing a suit to duplicate her condition, cleaning house and babysitting a 3-year-old. The second episode, which was provided, has them infiltrating a traditional Pakistani-American family to trivialize their religion, ruin their kitchen and corrupt their very Americanized teenage son. It’s all very contrived but harmless and less offensive than stultifyingly superficial. But then, that pretty much always has been “The Simple Life…” [Link]

Even more painful than this episode is this clip available on the internet where a bunch of women sit around and talk us through it discussing its “finer” points. It’s like The View on crack. This episode will be replaying on E! if you want to watch and get a feel for how painful the life of a dedicated blogger can be. 🙂

Continue reading →

Posted in TV

King Kaun?

Posted on by

Roll Curtis Mayfield, Little Richard and Amrish Puri’s accessories in ‘Temple of Doom’ together and you end up one of NXNE ’06’s most charismatic personas. From all reports, King Khan, along with his sensational Shrines, made a serious impression on Toronto’s indie-philes last weekend. Irrelevant was the fact that all three of their shows were held in the SKETCHIEST corner of my fair city. One messiah, eight musicians, and a go-go dancer with only one vision: To rock your soul!

kk.jpg

King Khan’s unusual backstory begins in Quebec:

King Khan is born in Montreal in 1977, being the son of immigrants from India. The Khan siblings (his majesty, Lil’ Brother Gumbo and Sister Cocobutter) inherit far more than mere musical talent: “My great grandfather was the Johnny Thunders of the sitar. He played but never recorded anything and became a serious opium addict. My father tried to play sitar but chose the fast life over that and wound up down and out and addicted to cocaine. My mother can play harp like Bob Dylan.” [Link]

After being kicked out of the household at 17 by his father, Khan ends up being taken in by the Mohawk Indians on the Kahnawake Mohawk Reservation (near Montreal):

I learnt lots about being a punk from my Indian friends. We used to get drunk, smash cars, go hunting for white women. The Indians taught me about survival, being a real warrior, even it if involved drinking Budweiser, smoking Marlboro Reds and getting really high. They showed me the truth and then I met a big bad wold who told me that rockin’ and rollin’ is all that I can do. I saw the light. Even learned how to chew Red Man Tobacco, America’s Best Chew. The Mohawk Indians put the savage back into my soul, even gave me a home, for that I will always be grateful. [Link]

He had me at “Red Man Tobacco”. Continue reading →

The Insider’s Maharaja

Posted on by

Maybe it’s just me but when you travel to foreign locales isn’t there some kind of charm to having the “commoner” experience? Of going somewhere and moving (as my father says) “with the people”?

The Wall Street Journal called it “VIP Travel on the Cheap” but I think a better name might be (with all due respect to the anonymous maharaja in question) “People Who Want To Visit Foreign Countries Without Having to Interact with Anyone Who Actually Lives There”.

One of the hottest concepts in travel right now is the “insider” experience, where travelers are promised a chance to hobnob with celebrities, go behind the scenes where other tourists are barred and be treated like visiting dignitaries.

Companies are selling tours of Russian President Vladimir Putin’s entertaining room, visits with Olympic athletes and drinks with an Indian maharaja — complete with an elephant parade.

Now, I’m not saying you have to go to India and tan in the Dharavi slum or drive an auto rickshaw around Queen’s Necklace during rush hour or do a load of whites under the oppressive third world sun. But, if you’re going to sit in a plane and make the commitment and fly all the way around the world to India, shouldn’t you actually try to see some of it? Continue reading →

The Curves of Cheating (Or Can A WonderBra Help You Pass A Maths Test?)

Posted on by

Ladies: Sure our bras can push-in, push-up and push-out…create curves and decolletage where there might not have been otherwise…support us steadfastly through athletic events, bad days at work and first dates alike…and, by sheer ergonomic design, make us sinfully sexy seductresses in the crucial moments when it matters most but, as ever-prepared, forward-thinking members of the Mutiny, let’s get down to brass tacks — what can it really do to help advance our studies?

Just ask Ashish, a telecommunications graduate from India’s Pune University. He was caught cheating on his final-year exam – he diagrammed an elaborate electronic circuit on the underside of his calculator – and kicked out. But he returned and passed the next term, and freely admits to cheating on most tests at university.

“Cheating sounds too grave,” he says, insisting that his family name not be printed. “Everyone does it.” He has written formulas on his ruler and smuggled notes up his sleeves and inside his shoes. Women have it easier, he claims, as modesty affords protection. “If I were a woman, I’d try smuggling them in my bra,” he says.

LINK

I find this great for several reasons. Continue reading →

Fear of a brown planet, 21 Billion strong

Posted on by

A month ago the Washington Post reported that:

Nearly half of the nation’s children under 5 are racial or ethnic minorities, and the percentage is increasing mainly because the Hispanic population is growing so rapidly [Link]

Gandhi was once asked what he thought about Western civilization. “I think,” he replied, “it would be a very good idea.”

This news sent the right-wingnuts into conniptions [Thanks Saheli]. The next day, John Gibson, the host of Fox News’ “The Big Story” told his (largely white) viewers to:

“Do your duty. Make more babies… You know what that means? Twenty-five years and the majority of the population is Hispanic.” [Link] [Video clip].

He later stuffed his foot further into his mouth by “explaining” that he was not bigotted against Hispanics, but instead, against Muslims (and all non-Christians by implication):

“My concern was simply that I didn’t want America to become Europe, where the birth rate is so low the continent is fast being populated by immigrants, mainly from Muslim countries, whose birth rate is very high … I said … it was also a good idea if people other than Hispanics also got busy and have more babies. Those people would include both blacks and whites. I suppose Asians, too… 50 years from now, Europe will be brown and Muslim, and America will be brown and Christian. I am fine with that, America, and I’ve said so many times. I’d rather live with the Christians here than live … under Sharia law in Europe” [Link]

Notice his ambivalence about Asians, even though he’s probably thinking of the yellow kind, many of whom are Christian. What might he feel about the brown kind, many of whom are neither Christian nor Muslim? And will he have a heart attack if he sees the latest brilliant inaccuracy from the TOI which states that:

The Indian diaspora is estimated at 20 billion. [Link]

As Manish points out, “the earth’s population is around 6.5 billion today,” which means the desi diaspora is over 300% of the world’s population. Getting scared yet, Mr. Gibson?

The moral of the story? Get your news from an accurate source and you’ll sleep at night

Continue reading →

Apu-calypse Now!

Posted on by

It’s probably not a surprise that I’m a Simpsons fanatic, and have been since the first days (we collected Matt Groening cartoons in junior high) but it was the evolution of the character of Apu that really clinched it for me.

Now, the first reaction upon encountering or hearing about Apu Nahasapeemapetalan is invariably a groan–yet another stereotypical 7-11 manager/operator–whether when he debuted, or today. But Apu evolved, as most Simpsons’ characters, into someone complex, worthy of both ridicule and empathy. He has a PhD, entered into an arranged marriage (but not before a stint as Springfield’s most happening bachelor, Trans Am and all) with the witty Manjula, sired octoplets, revealed his veganism and his illegal immigrant status, which he fixed by getting that long-awaited H-1 Visa. His worst sins are quirky saying in accented English, his two instances of infidelity to his wife and a tendency to overcharge (nothing compared to miser Mr.Burns or desperate Moe). Despite repeated attempts to run away from the overwhelming demands of his family of octoplets, Apu remains an excellent vehicle for Simpsons writers to explore desi issues. I highly recommend Wikipedia’s detailed biography of Apu here.

But Apu was absent in the most recent Simpsons exploration of desi culture, when Homer gets outsourced to India. Desi culture has become too big even for Apu. Continue reading →

DC Restaurant Review: Tandoori Nights

Posted on by

Tandoori Nights.JPG

Oy, I almost don’t want to write this– but I took so many pages of notes during my disastrous dinner at Tandoori Nights in Clarendon, that all that information deserves to be used. I know you’ll appreciate reading some of it, since our threads on dining, fine or otherwise are consistently popular. So let’s get this over with.

I’ve recently become an addict of EMS. I know, I’m the only one who has ever entered the store in stiletto heels, but what can I say? You can only spend so much time underground with Abhi before he begins to influence you. While I work up my nerve to (gulp) actually go camping for the first time, I’m going to keep frequenting EMS; for some reason, it makes urban-me want to be outside. Powerfully magical, I know. So between my forays to gear mecca and the container store (and yet– my apartment is still disorganized), I noticed that a potentially brown restaurant had opened on the second floor of the ritzy Market Common at Clarendon, just outside of D.C.

Yesterday, I decided to give it a shot, even though I was a little put off by the restaurant’s font. Yup, I’m that kind of dork. Why wouldn’t I be? If words are my life, the shapes of the letters which create them matter, too. I looked down at my outfit, which I had worn earlier to the amazing lecture Sajit blogged about at the Smithsonian. It was casual, but to me, so was the font. So imagine my shock when I tentatively walked through the front doors and saw a lounge sleek enough to impress, a distinguished man in a well-cut suit who looked like the manager and a mural of brown women on the ceiling which made me want to faint because I spent so much time craning my neck back to memorize it. “WOW,” I thought to myself, “it’s GORGEOUS.”

I simultaneously regretted my clothes while planning a meetup or party that just had to take place in this space. Much like it jinxes the shit out of my crushes on boys to imagine my first name with their surname, all of my moony swooning, my counting parties before they were hatched…well, it virtually guaranteed doom. 🙁

My friend and I were seated in a beautiful, semi-private room and were asked if we wanted still or sparkling. I opted for the first and the busboy blurted out, “it’s bottled”. Um, okay. I wasn’t sure what to do with that so I asked him what brand. He didnÂ’t know. When he came back, he said “Voss” and my pretentious-meter went off so hard it broke. How very glam. And everything on the menu was spelled properly! Well played. Continue reading →

55Friday: “World In Motion” Edition

Posted on by

Oh Laila.jpgEvery four years, the entire world pauses to watch very hot athletes play a game I find irresistible. We could get all armchair (or, more likely, office chair) psychologist on my kundi and consider that Soccer was the only sport my august father ever played, but it’s also the only sport I ever played.

One glorious summer a few years ago, I decided to sack up and work through all the issues I still had with forever being picked last to do anything in elementary school P.E. I played my heart out four nights a week and I had bruises the size of watermelons on my legs (playing indoors can be brutal) and a permanent ankle injury to show for it. Despite being black, blue and purple in addition to my usual brown, I’ve never been prouder of myself or my resolve to do the impossible: front like I’m actually coordinated.

This Friday, if you are so inclined, write exactly 55 words about: FIFA, footie, Footballers’ Wives (whose most memorable star from this past season was half-desi hotness Laila Rouass, pictured left), soccer camp, Adidas gear…whatever floats your World Cup boat. As always, kindly leave your flash fiction in the comments below or provide a link to where we can find some. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to attend to my mobile; Ennis keeps blowing up my spot with text messages which say “Goooooooooooooaaaaaaaal!” 😀

P.S. If you haven’t been watching Footballers’ Wives on BBC America, you’re so missing out. Laila Rouass plays “Amber”, erstwhile Bollywood star and sort-of-estranged wife of a Beckham-ish “Conrad Gates”. I won’t spoil the rest for you since they recently commenced re-running the entire season on Sunday nights at 10pm and 1am (at least that’s how Comcast does it here in D.C…YMMV, obviously). Watch. You won’t be disappointed. 😉 Continue reading →

African-Indians

Posted on by

We are all at least somewhat familiar with the phenomenon of Indian migration to Africa, mostly in the form of persons of Gujarati origin working their way to East Africa, but little has been publicized about the opposite, about Africans migrating to India. I wasn’t even sure something like this existed until I read an advertisement for a lecture, “African Elites in India,” which is being given this Saturday, June 10 at 2 PM at the Smithsonian’s Meyer Auditorium by Kenneth Robbins and John McLeod, editors of the book African Elites in India: Habshi Amarat. The book focuses on the story of sub-Saharan Africans who migrated, beginning around the 15th century, to India and subsequently gained positions of power and status on the sub-Continent. Who knew hyphenated identities went so far back?

“Known as Habshis, the Arabic word for Abyssinian or Ethiopian,” the duo’s book tells the story of a “little-known group of elite sub-Saharan African-Indian merchants, soldiers, nobles, statesmen, and rulers who attained prominence in India in the fifteenth to twentieth centuries but also on the Africans who served at the courts of Indian monarchs as servants, slaves, eunuchs, or concubines.”

It turns out the Africa-to-India phenomenon is not all that limited. In 1996, the Anthropological Survey of India reported sizeable communities of African ancestry in the states of Andhra Pradesh and Karnataka, Gujarat, and the metropolises of Delhi, Kolkata, and Mumbai (link). For those of you who count yourself among the South Asian history geek-squad like I do, this lecture sounds fascinating. If you need more information, or to RSVP, you can call 202 633 0444. A book signing will follow the lecture.

Perhaps this answers why Anna, and so many other desis are often mistaken for Ethiopian. Incidentally, the Freer Gallery is also screening a few Sri Lankan films this month. The remaining two are Flying with One Wing (2002), which is showing tomorrow, and Guerilla Marketing (2005) which is screening on Sunday.

Continue reading →