I wrote a post this weekend which questioned certain commenters’ assertions regarding how â€œhot Desi girls seem to end up with White guysâ€. We discussed that misconception as well as…well, a few dozen other subjects, but thatâ€™s natural over the course of 1,349 comments. One sub-thread which I followed avidly involved I-bankers and their (for some) elusive prey: the skinny, hyper-maintained, hot brown girl with stick-straight hair.
Some of you compassionately responded to your banking brethren, when they plaintively admitted that they werenâ€™t sure where to locate their loinsâ€™ fondest desire; instructions, right down to locations, days of the week and yes, auspicious times of day (yo, are we brown or are we BROWN) were offered and happily accepted. Much like the original exchange which inspired my post on interracial dating, which is where this comedy of heir-ers was going down, what I noticed was that these werenâ€™t one-off sentiments. To me, that made them difficult to dismiss.
The one word which kept surfacing, repeatedly, insistently, was skinny.
Predictably, evolved mutineers were outraged and immediately broadcasted it; even more predictable than that, the obligatory, â€œI canâ€™t help it, itâ€™s just what ruins my boxersâ€- volley occurred, so that there was essentially a stalemate. Around skinny. While all of them pondered if it was okay to come out and say that â€œskinnyâ€ was a requirement, and whether such a requiring was nothing to be ashamed of, I was transfixed by something else which was related, but not discussed.
What did skinny mean in this context?
To some, Kate Moss defines skinny. To others, the woman who is pictured on our left qualifies.
I like to know exactly what Iâ€™m offended by, before I gift someone with a new orifice, so I couldnâ€™t get my outrage-on– not until this question was answered. Yes, yes…we should all eschew superficial everything and itâ€™s terrible that weâ€™re judging female books by their covers, but itâ€™s also a gross reality. And I wanted to know how realistic these I(yer) bankers were.
There was another snagâ€”we were discussing Manhattan.
Itâ€™s a rarified world and understandably, the benchmarks are different. Everything is relative (and apparently, if you are an Iyengar reading SM, YOU are all relatives…oy, how I wish that I could actually link to relevant comments from MY OWN POST, which would make my attempts at wit successful vs. inscrutable).
In most cities, D.C. included, my 450 sq ft studio is tiny. In Manhattan, my friend is thrilled to have that much space for her ONE-BEDROOM. In most cities, making six figures is awesome. In Manhattan, it barely affords the afore-mentioned shoe-box, rent-wise and thatâ€™s if you limit your methods for self-intoxicating to PBR (note: life is too short for PBR, my darlinks). Anyway, if everything is tougher, better, more competitive, more expensive and more EVERYTHING in Manhattan, then…do brown guys expect brown girls to be skinnier, too? And does skinny mean fit? Or just skinny?
My guy friends (the unManhattanites, if you will…Iâ€™m not counting the Murray Hill dwellers et al for the purposes of this fluffy post) would line up giddily for a shot at the gorgeous girl above. Would our I(yengar) bankers? I think we have a bit of a vested interest in all this; the majority of the Desi vomen whom I am privileged to know are curvaceous, if theyâ€™re out of their teens. For most men, thatâ€™s a good thing. My male buddies donâ€™t like straight linesâ€”on the roads theyâ€™re about to break laws on or…uh…you know.
Curves are good. Right? Left? Those are definitely curves, on the left.
So, as I said memorably (and almost 1,700 comments ago!), out with it then. Letâ€™s have the truth. What do you want? Is the woman Iâ€™ve wrapped this post around zaftig or is she just right? Err, left? You know what I mean. And this ainâ€™t no heteronormative joint. Iâ€™ll be the first to tell you that she could inspire me to discover a love that dare not speak its naam. What about you? Continue reading