Author Archives: apul

Greeting cards attack when you least expect it

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Not too long ago, a friend and I made our way to a nice movie theater in Los Angeles, Calif. And by nice, I mean the kind of theater that brutally charges more for tickets on weekends, and has an overpriced boutique shop in the lobby. Other than that, it was the same as any other not-quite-as-nice theater.

The boutique shop had a section with South Asian-inspired products. This was especially interesting to me because of the noticeable rise in the commercial utilization of the culture. Besides the standard new age fare — incense, books, teas — there were a couple of products that caught my eye. A candle bust of Siddhartha (struck me as a tad sadistic), and a pair of greeting cards from J&M Martinez, which are pictured to the right.

It looks like they’re trying to depict Hindu Gods, but I don’t have a clue about which ones they’re supposed to be. The blue-skinned male on the left could be Krishna, Ram or Shiva, but none of them were that fat. The female on the right could be Lakshmi, but doesn’t she have another pair of arms? Am I completely leaving someone out? And what are the inscriptions all about?

In the end, and especially after noticing the exorbitant price tag, all I could remark to my friend was, “what the f–k?!” They rolled their eyes, as if to suggest that they didn’t care. I would be forced to allow the confusion to consume me as we walked away, enrage me during a trip to the cash-draining snack counter, and finally choke me with a sanity-busting froth during an endless stream of mind-numbing trailers. Thankfully, the two-hour borefest that followed put me to sleep and out of my misery. Still, please help me make sense of my cardstock nemeses. Or at least help me make sense of this senseless post.

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Wealthy skanks complicate “The Simple Life” for mechanic

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Laughs were aplenty during last night’s season premiere of Fox’s “The Simple Life,” when socialites Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie shared their shocking blend of ignorance and helplessness with a no-nonsense desi mechanic.

The reality show inserts Hilton, heiress to the hotel fortune by the same name, and Ritchie, daughter of singer Lionel Ritchie, into fish-out-of-water situations. The past two seasons placed the bicoastal, hard-partying pair in a small farming town, and on a road trip through rural America. The current season assigns them internships in a wide range of fields.

Hilton and Ritchie’s first job landed them in Bayonne, N.J., where they were assigned the seemingly easy tasks of changing oil, customer service and moving cars at Quality Auto Center. Under the supervision of Ketan, the pair showed up late, crashed into cars, alienated customers and stole a police cruiser.

When it came time to evaluate their performance, Ketan gave them appropriate marks:
Customer service: F
Changing oil: D
Appearance: “A for that, for sure.”

“The Simple Life” next airs on February 9 at 8:30 p.m. on Fox.

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South Asian crooners belt it out on “Idol”

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I haven’t caught every episode of Fox’s immensely popular “American Idol” over the past three years, but I’ve watched quite a few. During that time, I have not seen a single South Asian contestant on the program. Thankfully, that barrier came crashing down last night with a cataclysmic thud.

For those who haven’t seen it, the show is essentially a massive singing audition, where round after round, contestants are judged by the following criteria: Their ability to carry a tune, espouse plasticity befitting a manufactured pop star, and a complete willingness to kill off any part of their soul that wanted to be a real artist. The first half of the contest is judged by the show’s three stewards, and the latter rounds are voted on by viewers (mostly teenaged girls with cell phones). The winner receives a record contract.

First up was accountant Sundeep Achreja, who is admired at his office because he dressed as a “pimp” (or “punk” — his co-worker really couldn’t get her story straight) for Halloween. His height initially impressed judge Paula Abdul. His rendition of Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger,” replete with Rocky-esque jogging, did not.

Later in the show, a male with the last name of Mendes (the announcer butchered his first name) performed a song that probably doesn’t really exist. The performance was so hard to decipher, that he earned inclusion on a segment entitled “The Incomprhensibles.”

Finally, there was some good news…sort of. During a montage of various contestants celebrating invitations to the next round in Hollywood, Calif., one of the jubilant singers appeared to be of South Asian descent. Unfortunately, the show did not broadcast his audition or offer a name, so the only thing I’m going on is a brief clip. I suppose we’ll know for sure in the coming weeks.

“American Idol” airs again tonight on Fox at 8 p.m. If you have a dish that carries Sony Entertainment Television, you can watch the Indian version, entitled, yep, “Indian Idol.”

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“Born Into Brothels” earns Oscar nom

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bornIntoBrothels200x118.jpg“Born Into Brothels,” the documentary about children of prostitutes in Calcutta’s notorious red-light district, earned a highly-coveted Oscar nomination from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences on Tuesday morning.

The critically-lauded film documents the experiences of photojournalist Zana Briski, who supplied the prostitutes’ children with cameras in order to capture a glimpse of their harsh existence.

“Born Into Brothels” has already captured a slew of awards — Sundance Audience, L.A. Film Critics, and the National Board of Review — and has screened in nearly every prestigious film festival around the world.

The Academy Awards telecast airs on Sunday, February 27, on ABC.

Oscars: Documentary feature award nominations
“Born Into Brothels”: Official site
Sepia Mutiny: Kids with cameras

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Vijayï¿œs caddie Singh-ing the blues

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Golfer Vijay Singh may lose the services of the caddie that accompanied him during his record-setting year on the the PGA Tour.

Caddie Dave “Buddy” Renwick, who spent 18 months carrying Singh’s bag, complained that the world’s top golfer was unduly harsh on him, and rarely friendly.

“My heart just wasn’t in it, even at the end of last year when we were winning nearly every week. I just wasn’t getting the respect I deserve,” said Renwick to The Scotsman. “I never got a ‘good morning’ from Vijay. Or ‘good club’ after a shot. Or ‘have a nice night’ at the end of a day.”

What did Renwick get from Singh?

One million dollars…to carry a bag…select appropriate clubs…and travel to some of the most beautiful places in the world.

Kudos to Renwick for freeing himself from slavedriver Singh’s laborious death grip.

Luckily for the rest of us, this opens the door to a wonderful opportunity: Mr. Singh, even though my experience with golf has only come in miniature and video game form — for a million dollars — I will do your bidding, gladly accept a copious amount of abuse, and even throw in an interpretive disco dance for your amusement. My resume is on its way.

The Scotsman: Caddie sings a sad song

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Brain hemmorage kills actor Puri

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Veteran actor Amrish Puri died Wednesday morning at a hospital in Bombay. He was 72.

Various reports indicate that Puri suffered a brain hemmorage, and was in a coma at the time of his passing. He was also undergoing treatment for malaria, and was in the hospital just one week earlier for a surgical procedure.

Puri, who started acting at a late age, is best known for his roles in “Mr. India,” “Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge,” and “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.”

He is survived by his wife, son and daughter.

Rediff: Amrish Puri is dead

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New channels put Disney’s mouse in the house

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The Walt Disney Company launched last week their first two channels in India, hoping to stake a claim to the country’s 100 million children under the age of 10.

The multi-genre Disney channel and the animation-led Toon Disney are being broadcast in three regional Indian languages apart from English.

The channels will target different age-groups at different times.

The two channels will be available in English and Hindi in northern Indian and in Telugu and Tamil in the south.

They join a fast-expanding marketplace for children’s programming in India, which has welcomed three additional channels this year alone.

BBC News: Disney launches India TV channels

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Tigers continue unabated assault on “widows”

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Perhaps the only thing more murderous than the commute in Los Angeles may be the daily trek that workers in Gosaba, India have to deal with:

Between 150-200 people from Gosaba have been killed going about their daily work — fishing and cutting wood on the edge of the park or gathering honey deep in the jungle.

The impoverished villagers say they have little choice but to risk their lives in order to eke out an existence in a hostile environment ill-suited to farming.

Every year, 20 to 30 people are carried off by tigers in the Sunderbans, home to 270 of the big cats, according to regional forestry department figures.

Such tragedies have earned Gosaba the unfortunate monicker of “island of widows.”

AFP/Yahoo!: Man-eating tigers wreak havoc on India’s island of widows

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Cricket where the sun don’t shine

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Women’s sports in India are finding their toughest match taking place off-the-field and against an opponent that isn’t easily defeated — Helios, son of Hyperion and Theia (a.k.a. the sun).

The AFP reports that the captain of the Indian women’s cricket team says that the advancement of female sports is severely hindered by cultural aversion to dark-skinned brides.

“Most of the Indian men want to have a bride with a fair skin,” said captain Mamta Maben to the AFP. “Because of Indian men’s concept of beauty, so many talented players do not take up cricket because it is a gruelling sport and you are out in the sun for at least seven to eight hours.”

The much-maligned sun, which has been linked to everything from famine to skin cancer, replied with its usual foul-mouthed irreverence.

“I couldn‘t give a flying f**k about them Indian cricket b***hes. That’s right, I called them b***hes,” said the sun. “And once you puny humans destroy the ozone layer, you will all become my b***hes.”

What a jerk. Luckily, its comeuppance are in the works. Scientists expect the hot-tempered sun to burn out in 4-5 billion years. Then we’ll see who’s the b***h.

AFP/Yahoo!: Male desire for fair-skinned brides stumps women’s cricket in India
NASA: What keeps the sun burning?

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Classical singer Subbulakshmi passes away

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Indian classical singer Madurai Shanmugavadivu “M.S.” Subbulakshmi died late Saturday in Chennai at the age of 88 (via Sreenath Sreenivasan).

From Rediff:

“The vocalist died peacefully in her sleep,” Dr. C.V. Krishnaswamy, who treated her at the St. Isabel hospital, told PTI.

The musician was admitted to the hospital on December 2 following a bout of viral infection, which later developed into broncho pneumonia.

Her condition worsened on Friday night and she lapsed into a coma as she developed cardiac irregularities. The end came at 23:45 IST.

She was also a chronic diabetic for nearly four decades.

Born as Kunjamma in the temple city of Madurai on September 16, 1916, Subbulakshmi made her debut as a singer at the age of eight and went on to perform in concerts, a domain traditionally reserved for males.

The vocalist immortalized many songs, including “Vaishnava Janatho,” a favorite of Mahatma Gandhi, Meera bhajans, Annamacharya kirthans and the like.

Rediff: M.S. Subbulakshmi passes away
SAJA: Coverage of Indian singer M.S. Subbulakshmi

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