Author Archives: apul

Everyone’s having sex except you

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It’s Valentine’s Day. Half of the country will be f–king like wild billy goats. The other half will just be f–king bitter. The good folks at Durex have something for both camps. The former can indulge in the contraceptive concern’s wide range of STD- and pregnancy-busting prophylactics. And for the latter — nothing less than an international-sized reminder of how much play they’re missing out on.

Durex, a subsidiary of London-based SSL International, recently released their annual survey of sexual behavior around the world. The "Global Sex Survey," now in its eighth year, polled more than 350,000 people from 41 countries, and is billed as the largest such study around. Among the 16 questions, the following six stood out to me (I only listed results for first place, Canada, global average, India, U.K., U.S. and last place):

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When good kids happen to bad parents

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In case there’s any confusion, adopting a child from India is nothing like buying an end table from Target — you do not get to return the former if he or she does not work out in your home.

Shockingly enough, there are otherwise intelligent and reasonable adults who do not grasp this distinction. On a recent episode of “Dr. Phil,” the underlying point needed to be drilled home to Melissa and Bobby, a married couple that adopted a child from India named AJ:

When they brought AJ home, things were not what they expected. “He did not want to be held by us. He would cry and kick and scream whenever we tried to hold him,” Melissa explains. “We’re kind of like, ‘What happened? Where did things go wrong?’ I do not love AJ and I wonder if I ever will.”

Melissa and Bobby also learned that AJ has special needs. “I feel resentful. I didn’t bargain for that,” says Melissa. “I’ve told him, ‘I wish we never adopted you,’ and I call him stupid. I thought I would grow to love him, but I feel like I’m forcing myself to love him.”

There are two things in this world that you just don’t f–k with:
1. Wu-Tang Clan (obviously)
2. Dr. Phil

The imposing Texan laid the smackdown on Melissa, and made hapless Bobby watch, ’cause that’s how Dr. Phil rolls:

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Posted in TV

India literally becoming a man’s world

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India’s gender imbalance is widening its gap, and officials are placing blame on the practice of female infanticide and sex-selective abortions. Uma Girish writes in The Christian Science Monitor:

Though the government has battled the practice for decades, India’s gender imbalance has worsened in recent years. Any progress toward halting infanticide, it seems, has been offset by a rise in sex-selective abortions. Too many couples – aided by medical technology, unethical doctors, and weak enforcement of laws banning abortion on the basis of gender – are electing to end a pregnancy if the fetus is female.

The consequence of female infanticide and, more recently, abortion is India’s awkwardly skewed gender ratio, among the most imbalanced in the world. The ratio among children up to the age of 6 was 962 girls per 1,000 boys in 1981, but 20 years later the inequity was actually worse: 927 girls per 1,000 boys.

The Christian Science Monitor/Yahoo!: For India’s daughters, a dark birth day

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Do good fences make good neighbors?

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The Atlantic Monthly’s Abigail Cutter lists the ten most notable security barriers of the post-WWII era. Surrounded by less-than-friendly neighbors, there’s no way India is staying of this list:

5. India/Bangladesh: Aiming to curb infiltration from its neighbor, India in 1986 sanctioned what will ultimately be a 2,043-mile barbed-wire barrier. It’s expected to cost $1 billion by the time it is completed, next year.

6. India/Pakistan: In 1989 India began erecting a fence to stem the flow of arms from Pakistan. So far it has installed more than 700 miles of fencing, much of which is electrified and stands in the disputed Kashmir region. The anti-terrorist barriers will eventually run the entire 1,800-mile border with Pakistan.

Of more relevancy was number eight on the list — a fourteen-mile fence separating San Diego from Tijuana — which has made it a real pain for me, er, I mean, my friend Lupa Letap, to score cheap prescription meds.

The Atlantic Monthly: Security fences (subscription required)

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Nirali Magazine relaunches after hiatus

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Online monthly Nirali Magazine, which bills itself as “a different kind of (publication) for today’s modern South Asian American woman,” finally ended a lengthy two-month intermission with the release of its latest issue.

Editor-in-chief Ismat Mangla blamed the break in publication on a “storm of issues,” which have since been resolved. This is good news, because the magazine is a worthwhile read, and in its short existence, has managed to break some downright entertaining stories. On top of everything, Art Director Priya Patel’s interface design makes this one of the slickest e-zines around.

And before any of the smart-asses out there decide to berate me via e-mail — yes, I know the magazine is directed toward women. Can’t a brutha’ be up-to-date on the feminine perspective without a bunch of mofo’s getting all up in his grill about it? Geez.

Now I will go back to drinking a domestic beer, killing anything that moves in “Halo 2,” and lounging on the sofa in my boxers. And just for good measure: Maxim, Stuff, ESPN, Playboy, “Girls Gone Wild,” and red meat.

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Is Norway the new Bollywood?

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No, but the Scandinavian country of 4.5 million people is pumping out South Asian entertainers at a fantastic clip.

Last week we read about, heard, and ultimately shredded the musical offerings from Norway-born Deeyah. This week we present actress and model Negar Khan, who was born in Iran, but raised in Norway, and considers the country her home. You’ve probably never heard of her, but she has appeared in several music videos and starred in Bollywood films as an “item girl.”

Khan’s name was on everyone’s lips yesterday when the industry learned that she was deported from India for allegedly working without valid visa documents. From Indo-Asian News Service:

Police officials said Khan had been working in India without a proper work permit and that she had refused to respond to repeated notices sent by authorities on the issue.

“We sent her a notice one month back but she didn’t respond. She was working here without proper documents,” Mumbai Police Commissioner A.N. Roy told reporters.

Bollywood reacted with shock to the sudden deportation of Khan, terming the treatment meted out to her as inappropriate. “The manner in which she has been deported is absolutely indecorous,” said leading filmmaker Mahesh Bhatt.

But were the reactions of shock just another bad Bollywood acting job? It appears that the deportation of Khan is part of an effort that was prompted by peers who were tired of losing jobs to outsiders:

Police officials said Khan’s arrest and her deportation was part of a larger crackdown against foreigners working in India’s film and advertising industry without valid papers.

They, however, did not say if any other film personalities were facing a probe.

Indian actors and models have for long been complained that non-resident Indians come to India on tourist visas and pick up plum projects.

Today’s temperature in Oslo is expected to hit a high of 32 degrees. This marked the first time that it sucked to be a Khan in Bollywood.

IANS/Yahoo!: Negar Khan deported for visa breach, industry stunned

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Ebert & Roeper: “Bride” looks lovely

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Reviews for “Bride & Prejudice” are starting to trickle in, and none are more integral to the film’s box office prospects than the bi-directional thumbs of critics Roger Ebert and Richard Roeper

The verdict? Two thumbs up.

If you weren’t able to watch the show last weekend, here’s a brief recap:

: Go see this on the big screen. You need to fully appreciate the vibrant colors and the great music.
: Oh, I loved it too and I’ve seen a lot of Bollywood movies in recent years. They combine everything. And I have to admit, Aishwarya Rai has your eyes.
: Fo’ real? Whenever Gurinder Chadha waddles into a screening, I can’t help but think of you.
: Let’s make out.
: Okay.

Aw’ yeah, how’s that for some romantic diction? Sure, that recap might contain some inconsistencies or entire fabrications, but you get the gist. If you want to hear the real review, click here to download the MP3 (size: 250 KB). It’s worth the time, if just to hear the entertaining pair debate the placement of Rai on their list of most beautiful women in the world. (Roeper has her at #17; Ebert at #1).

“Bride & Prejudice” opens on February 11.

Sepia Mutiny: Fisking the “Bride and Prejudice” campaign; “Bride and Prejudice” postponed to February; The New York Times on “Bride and Prejudice”; Gurinder Chadha on her “Bride and Prejudice”

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Bashir ordered to testify in Jacko circus

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The judge in the Michael Jackson child molestation trial ordered journalist Martin Bashir to testify as a government witness against the pop singer, despite his attempts to avoid participation.

From the Sunday Mail:

The TV reporter — whose documentary “Living With Michael Jackson” triggered the investigation against the star — has been called as a “necessary witness” in the trial, which starts (Monday).

Bashir, 42, had tried to get out of giving evidence by citing a law that protects reporters from having to testify about things they see while working on a story.

Bashir became the first desi network correspondent for one of the big three broadcast outlets when he joined ABC’s “20/20” in December. His debut story for the news magazine was an interview with BALCO head Victor Conte, who admitted to supplying illegal supplements to some of the sports world’s most successful athletes.

This year’s trial of the century kicked off today in southern California, and the mainstream press is in the process of wetting itself, because there really isn’t anything else of importance going on in the world.

Sunday Mail: Jacko on trial: Bashir in the box
The Smoking Gun: Bashir a government witness in Jacko trial?

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Film pioneer Kaul visits L.A.’s REDCAT

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The Roy and Edna Disney CalArts Theater (REDCAT) screens the work of filmmaker Mani Kaul on Monday night, and will have the New Indian Cinema trailblazer in attendance for questions.

Some of Kaul’s more notable films include “Uski Roti,” “Siddheswari,” and “Naukar Ki Kameez.” The 60-year-old filmmaker’s work has screened at festivals in Cannes, Berlin, Venice, Rotterdam and Pesaro, as well as venues such as New York’s MOMA and Paris’ Centre Georges Pompidou.

The REDCAT is located in downtown Los Angeles at the Frank Gehry-designed Walt Disney Concert Hall. You can kill two birds (if you’re into that sort of thing) with one stone by finally visiting the architect’s recently completed and hotly-debated building.

General admission tickets for the Kaul event are $8, and are available for online purchase.

REDCAT: An evening with Mani Kaul
Indian Cinema Database: Mani Kaul

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Promo’s pizza leaves bad taste in actor’s mouth

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Actor Sanjay Madhav recently auditioned for a part in a comedy festival promo, and was so offended by the sketch, that he shared his experience on Hollywood Masala’s message boards.

The spot entailed Mohandas Gandhi (not the part that he auditioned for) playing a prank on his followers by ordering a meat-lovers pizza. From Madhav’s original post:

I do have a sense of humor about these scenarios, however this is offensive to many, including myself. When will the non-Indian population realize that Gandhi is to many Indians, what Martin Luther King is to the African-American people. Would they dare make such a mockery of Martin Luther King without public backlash? I think we know the answer to that question.

Wait, I have a different question: What brand of pizza did he order? Since I haven’t seen the promo, it would be inappropriate for me to weigh in on Madhav’s specific complaint. However, it would definitely piss me off if Gandhi was depicted ordering some cheap, craptastic, fast food pizza. I’d like to think that if Gandhi was going to buy pizza for his followers, he would spring for something good like California Pizza Kitchen or Round Table. He was the father of an entire subcontinent — give the man some respect and portray him ordering a slab of the top shelf pie.

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