Author Archives: Abhi

About Abhi

Abhi lives in Los Angeles and works to put things into space.

A Rouge Affair

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I know that L.A. area mutineers have been pushing for a SM meet-up. I admit that I am a horrible host and haven’t been able to step up to the plate as of yet. I am in the middle of grad-school hell right now as my research has been getting some attention in the press of late, otherwise I’d be all about the meet-up. In the meantime let me draw your attention to Artwallah’s kick-off/benefit party this Thursday night. I will certainly be there and so should you:

Dance, Drink and Revel with DJs and Visual Artists for our first ArtWallah Event of 2006, this Thursday, February 16th !

Come paint the town red…
Venue: Fais Do Do
Address: 5257 West Adams Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90016
Time: Doors open at 9:30 pm
Tickets: $13 in Advance at www.groovetickets.com
$18 at the door, $15 if you wear red

Music by:
Tej Gill – “Regarded as one of the original South Asian DJ’s in L.A., TejGill brings together Electronic Dance Music and Classical Indian Rhythms to create enigmatic DJ sets. You can find out more as well as hear samples from “The Message” – a limited edition E.P., at www.GillometerMusic.com.”

Gabe Abraham – Gabe Abraham founded didJital as a vehicle for sharing the Asian Massive and world electronica movement with Los Angeles, bringing internationally known artists such as Cheb i Sabbah, Karsh Kale, and Banco de Gaia to the nightclub scene. Part Indian himself, it was a natural progression for him to hear traditional South Asian sounds fused with electronic beats.
www.didjital.com/sounds.html (check out the world groove mix)
www.cirqueberzerk.com

RokFresh: Whets the palate and warms the dancefloor with sultry rhythms and soul creating a loungey vibe of electronica and down tempo, mixing multiple genres of music.

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Don’t drop the soap

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SM readers that have been with us since the beginning know that I am always inspired to blog about some unique topic after I have gone to get a haircut. In fact, one

The Sepia Redemption

of our readers insisted that I write a post after every visit to my barber. First, a bit of backstory for those of you unfamiliar with what I am talking about. I LOVE my local barbershop. I can honestly say that when I leave here in one year, my barbershop is among the top three things I will miss most about L.A. You see, my whole life, hair “specialists” have messed up my hair which is very thick and very straight. Most novices attack it with a blind fury, just wanting to get it over with while copping the occasional feel and commenting on its softness. The barbers at this shop however, take one whole hour cutting my hair. This is impressive when you consider the fact that I usually get a military-short haircut. But as much as the haircut, I really like the barbers at this shop. Quite a few are ex-southside Latino gang members and they often talk to me about gang culture. They have totally welcomed me with open arms, and even tell me all about the “b*tches” they be working, and describe to me the finer aspects of said “b*tches” anatomies. I listen so as not to be rude. Yesterday my barber and I had a riveting discussion about a topic that I had been thinking about just the day before. For the past two weeks there have been race riots in the California prison system. The Latino inmates and the Black inmates are at war, shanking each other left and right.

Jail officials in Los Angeles County separated black and Hispanic inmates, began transferring troublemakers and brought in clergy to try to restore peace after a week of racially charged brawls that they feared would continue to erupt through the weekend.

“It’s got momentum,” sheriff’s Chief Marc Klugman, who oversees the nation’s largest jail system, said yesterday. “They’re battle-hardened. They’re angry.”

Thousands of Hispanics and blacks clashed Feb. 4, and a black inmate was beaten to death, at the biggest jail at the Pitchess Detention Center, a 6,500-inmate complex outside the city limits. Brawls then broke out during the week at the two smaller jails at Pitchess. About 90 inmates have been injured. [Link]

My barber, who has spent time in the joint, broke it down for me: Latinos and Blacks try to kill each other. Whites usually join the Latinos because they don’t fit with the Blacks. Asian brothers get shanked unless they keep their heads down and stay among themselves. If the Koreans ever do business outside of K-town then they are dead on arrival. Even worse, if you are Latino or Black and don’t want to join in the violence, your own people will shank you for not standing up for your brothers. Now, I know what you are all thinking right now. So I asked for you:

“Ummm. What about the Indian brothers? Where do they fit in this system?”

“You guys? Yo, sorry bro but you guys get your ass passed around. You know what I mean”? Continue reading →

What do you think of Dilip? Isn’t he dreamy?

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In a post that I wrote a couple of weeks ago, I mentioned that Maryland’s incumbent Republican Governor Robert Ehrlich was spotted trying to drum up Indian American votes (for his re-election) at an India Republic Day event in Greenbelt, MD. Politicians usually get a free pass at these functions. The star-struck desi uncles that play host, mostly just want their pictures taken with the candidate so that they can brag about how successful they are. Thankfully, we have dedicated South Asian journalists to report on the real policy issues that interest you and I. Rediff-India Abroad reports:

In an exclusive interview with rediff-India Abroad Managing Editor Aziz Haniffa, [Ehrlich] acknowledges that the catalytic contributions of the Indian American community were a major boon to the burgeoning economy of the state.

Ehrlich, who has never visited India but plans to do so soon, said he was elated over the transformed US-India relationship. “As India becomes and assumes more of a world power status, it’s incumbent upon both countries to not just re-establish, but increase levels of cooperation,” he said.

Well…I suppose getting the “Have you ever been to India?” question out of the way is okay, as long as he additionally asks some tough policy questions. After all, the whole PURPOSE of interviewing Ehrlich should be to highlight his stance on key issues that affect Indian-Americans voters in Maryland. Here are some of the questions:

  • One of your most senior aides, Dilip Paliath, has announced his candidacy to run for the legislative assembly from District 42 and you have, I believe, endorsed him. My question is, will you be on the stump for him at some of his campaign stops?
  • And you believe Dilip is a winning candidate?
  • What would you say to the Indian American community in supporting Dilip and any other young candidates who may come along? The so-called leaders of the community have this insatiable propensity for photo-ops, contribute handsomely to their campaigns, but when it comes to someone running for public office, it’s almost impossible to convince them to put their money where their mouth is.
  • Dilip serves in a senior position in your administration but there aren’t any other Indian Americans in cabinet-level positions in your administration. Several governors I’ve interviewed always say they would love to have some of the qualified Indian Americans in their administration but many of them make so much money in the private sector that it’s hard to coax them to serve in the public sector. Have you faced the same problem?
  • Have you been to India, and if not, do you intend to visit India soon? [Link]

So let me summarize what has just happened here. Rediff-India Abroad is giving the Republican Governor free publicity, which will translate to at least a few more votes on election day, and all they really want to know in return is what Ehrlich thinks of Dilip Paliath, and whether or not any more brown folks might serve in Ehrlich’s second administration. This is exactly the reason why I blog on SM and why Rediff-India Abroad is useless to my demographic. I don’t f*cking care what Ehrlich thinks about Paliath. I want to know how his policies will affect Indian-Americans if he is elected to another term. Continue reading →

Re-cap of the SAAN conference

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As mentioned before, this past weekend I was invited to speak at the South Asian Alliance Network conference at the University of Michigan. The conference organizers, in what MUST have been a drug-induced haze, asked me to give the kickoff address for the day. The speaker’s packet that I was sent contained a brief note about what the kickoff speech should include. Here is an excerpt:

Attendees of my workshop (a.k.a victims)

This is a brief overview of what we would like you to discuss in your kickoff address. Please use your own expertise and background when creating this speech. The goal of this speech is to excite the participants for the upcoming day; the points that follow are simply ideas that are intended to guide your thought process.

  • An anecdote to energize/excite participants for the day ahead

  • Inspirational quote/saying

Whoa! As you can imagine I was nervous as all hell. I haven’t had to inspire or excite people since…well, ever I guess. The speech went alright however, and I did not trip getting on OR off the stage. I was then going to Live Blog the conference for the consumption of SM readers, but it was so damn engrossing that I kept my laptop in its case, and decided to selfishly attend the workshops instead. My workshop was titled “Get up, get out, and get moving”:

Authors, comedians, lyricists, poets, painters, and sculptors – the list goes on – are all part of the process to develop society. This workshop explores how these individuals find the inspiration to carry out such enormous tasks and whether these professions well-suited to activism. Learn from the very real stories of these accomplished individuals who have a dynamic role in society.

Obviously I fell into “the list goes on” category . It was a good workshop. I miss being an undergrad. These attendees were all smart as hell and a lot more engaged than I remember being. I think I have come to see the University of Michigan as a Utopian bubble where anything is possible, especially if you are a member of the South Asian community. I am going to make a bold (albeit biased) prediction that 20 years from now there will be many South Asian alumni from Michigan that are running this country. To give you an idea of how special this conference was, there was EVEN Ohio State representation.

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Meth Merchants out of options

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There have been new developments in the Operation Meth Merchant case that we have been following (see related posts at bottom) here at SM:

The infamous Operation Meth Merchant case in Georgia took an unexpected turn with as many as 23 of the accused pleading guilty and two more cases being dropped. Seven of them have already been sentenced to jail time.

“Different people pleaded guilty for different reasons,” said Deepali Gokhale, organizer of the Racial Justice Campaign against Operation Meth Merchant, an apex body of several organizations.

“Those living undocumented pleaded guilty, because in any case they would be deported,” Manny Arora, an attorney, said. Two of his clients pleaded guilty. Some pleaded guilty because the evidence against them was very strong and there was no chance for them in a trial which could have brought stiffer sentences.

One person with a green card was also among those pleaded guilty, Gokhale said. He could be deported because pleading guilty to felony charges is sufficient cause… Since all three were undocumented, the immigration authorities, specially invited by the prosecutor, were waiting to take them immediately to an immigration detention center. Pravin Patel’s wife and four-month old baby were taken to Chicago by her brother.

Though these men said they would leave on their own, the immigration officials did not agree. “INS interfered and used the mandatory detention provision to take them into custody. They may be in custody for up to eight weeks before being formally deported,” Arora said. [Link]

This is quite a convenient situation for the Feds. They don’t need to prove that the actual Meth case was legitimate, and not racially motivated. They can simply coerce a guilty plea. If you are one of the accused and are going to be deported anyways, then pleading guilty will at least move your case through the system more quickly. Even then, you will face jail time before the deportation paper work goes through. Illegal immigration laws should not be enforced in this manner which singles out a particular minority.

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The Danish cartoon controversy: A contrast in protests

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Here at SM headquarters we have quite an intricate system for vetting which stories make it to our website. Most of our stories are unearthed by the army of ex test-monkeys (retired from military, space, and medical research) that we house in our basement. They are the ones who scour the internet all day and feed important stories to our bloggers, while we spend most of our time at our full-time jobs. We also have the tipline, by which dedicated readers send in tips. Later, in our conference room, we ask ourselves three main questions about a prospective post:

  1. Can I do this story justice/am I knowledgeable and interested enough to write about it without sounding ignorant?
  2. Does the story have an angle highlighting South Asians?
  3. Does the story have an angle of interest to North Americans?

The reason you haven’t seen us post on this topic before is because not all of us were convinced that we could answer yes to all three questions. After attending the SAAN Conference this past weekend (which will be summarized in my next post), I have become convinced that we have missed the relevance this issue has to our community, and that the answer to all three questions is yes. I am speaking of course of the controversy surrounding a Danish newspaper’s decision to publish a picture of the Prophet Muhammad with a bomb as his turban.

Arab foreign ministers have condemned the Danish government for failing to act against a newspaper that published cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad.
At the Arab League conference in Cairo, they said they were “surprised and discontented at the response”.

Islam forbids any depiction of Muhammad or of Allah.

The Jyllands-Posten newspaper published a series of 12 cartoons showing Muhammad, in one of which he appeared to have a bomb in his turban. [Link]

I see great irony in this situation that doesn’t seem to have registered in the press (as far as I know). Muslims around the world are protesting this cartoon (often violently) because it is forbidden in Islam to depict the Prophet, especially in such a vulgar manner as this. Muhammad, in his boundless wisdom, wanted to make sure that his image would never be used or treated as an idol, and that men would never worship him as one. In Christianity for example, many most sects now worship Christ as God, instead of seeing him as only a mortal prophet. It was the message of Islam, and not Muhammad the man, that was to better the world. By violently protesting this cartoon, it could be argued that Muslims around the world are acting as if an idol has been desecrated. Using violence to protest this “desecration” legitimizes that which the Prophet cautioned against in the first place. He has become an idol to be defended and avenged in the eyes of many. Continue reading →

Making Sacrifices

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Back in 2003, NY Newsday published an article by reporter Dennis Duggan titled, The Growing Legion of Wounded. A reprint of the article can be found on this website. Here is an excerpt:

October 8, 2003

When a rocket propelled grenade struck his checkpoint in Northern Iraq on June 1, Sgt. Wasim Khan of Richmond Hill became part of an unheralded and growing legion of wounded.

When Khan, 27, of the Army’s 1st Armored Division, was struck by shrapnel, he was sent to the Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Germany for five days before being transferred to Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington…

What makes Khan’s American soldier story even more compelling is that he is a Pakistani who dutifully practices his Muslim faith.

Khan has spent the last four months in Ward 57 at Walter Reed, where the maimed lie in limbo waiting for prostheses…

Khan told me over the phone Tuesday that he hopes to get a medical leave in the next few weeks. Departure from the ward is the dream of most of the soldiers who endure pain and humiliation as their wounds are swabbed, poked and scraped. Painkillers are often useless, and sometimes the doctors and nurses break into tears along with the patient who cries out in pain. [Link]

Sgt. Khan’s name re-surfaced in the press once again just last week. Guess where?

“Our men and women in uniform are making sacrifices,” said President George W. Bush during his State of the Union address Jan. 31, and listening intently from the balcony with First Lady Laura Bush was wounded-in-action Soldier Sgt. Wasim Khan.

Khan, a native of Gilgat, Pakistan, is a patient at Walter Reed Army Medical Center. Khan was wounded in Iraq while serving with the 1st Armored Division. He was a special guest at the State of the Union, nominated to attend by the secretary of the Army.

“I got to meet both President Bush and Mrs. Bush after the Address,” said Khan. “They thanked me for my service and for coming and I told them it was an honor and a privilege to see them…” “It was wonderful to see how the American people support us, and keep up that support,” he said. “I hope they keep doing what they think is right for the country and right for the world. We have a lot of work ahead of us…” [Link]

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Almost underneath their robes

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Part of Sepia Mutiny’s hidden agenda (we have never published our actual mission or spoken of the Machiavellian designs that drive us) has been to develop an influential and well placed system of CIs that will help our collective Mutiny to spread in both numbers and power (but especially in power). I have taken the liberty of modifying former U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno’s formal definition of a “CI” for those of you unfamiliar with this term:

“Confidential Informant” or “CI” — any individual who provides useful and credible information to a JLEA Sepia Mutiny regarding felonious criminal interesting desi-related activities, and from whom the JLEA Sepia Mutiny expects or intends to obtain additional useful and credible information regarding such activities in the future. [Link]

Basically this means that we want to encourage SM readers to send us the “goods” or the “dirt” on happenings that we don’t yet know about. Want me to give you an example of what kind of CIs that we are seeking out? SM reader Venkat of BTD gives us a heads up about some interesting developments at the Supreme Court. Three of the incoming Supreme Court Clerks are desi:

Scalia: Hashim Mooppan (Harvard ’05/Luttigator ’05-’06)… [Link]

Ginsburg: Arun Subramanian (Columbia ’04/Jacobs ’04-’05/G. Lynch ’05-’06) [Link]

Breyer: Thiru Vignarajah (Harvard ’05/Calabresi) [Link]

These three make ideal CIs. I am reaching out to them. If you know them then forward this on. We can be very discreet. Dead drops could be arranged in random parks by a variety of means. I have had pleasant dealings with clerks from lower federal courts before. Just ask around. We know that in the coming term the Supreme Court will be dealing with many cases involving desis, or with definite importance to the desi community. These three could maybe keep us up to speed on things.

The Drudge Report broke the Monica Lewinsky scandal before major media outlets did. We want SM to break more news also. That is where we need YOU dedicated reader. Are you in a position of power or influence and are just dying to share something you know, or stick it to the man? Do you work for some government agency or powerful corporation that doesn’t appreciate you enough? We appreciate you. Think of me as your very friendly case officer. The agent Vaughn to your agent Bristow. Will some real CIs please stand up?

[Disclaimer: For the record, I am not advocating that you break any laws, at least if they get me in trouble also…or if they get me subpoenaed, because I don’t think I could last in jail very long to protect you as my source. I would really try to though…unless they put me in a cell with some guy named “Tiny” who really isn’t.]

See related posts: The “Devils” Advocates, The Court has Hindu friends, …then you can’t have our money, Orwellian logic

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Shining, gleaming, steaming, flaxen, waxen

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Gimme a head with hair, long beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming, steaming, flaxen, waxen
Give me down to there, hair!
Shoulder length, longer (hair!)
Here baby, there mama, Everywhere daddy daddy

Abhi at age 3: Nice hair runs in our Indian family.

-Lyrics from the musical Hair

You know what I love me most about South Asian women? Long, beautiful, black hair. Yep, I’m a hair man. Last Friday Brian (followed by a few others) tipped us off that NPR’s Day to Day ran a story about the hottest beauty trend to hit Los Angeles. “Indian Temple Hair.” As everyone knows, L.A. sets the trends for the rest of the nation to follow. Look out middle-America:

In most big American cities, almost any luxury item can be had for a price — real champagne from France, truffles from Italy, and in Los Angeles, human hair from India. Whether it’s individual clumps or full wefts, true human hair is available in beauty salons across the city, and selling very well.

Take, for example, Vared Valensi. The walls of her salon on a busy corner of Melrose Avenue are plastered with pictures of Valensi with some of her celebrity clients, including Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Tara Reid and a nest of Playboy bunnies. Each one is cute, skinny and has someone else’s hair attached to her head. Valensi put it there.

This story is absolutely ridic. The interview they do with the woman from the temple in India (where they import this hair from) had me speechless.

…so-called “temple hair” comes from India. It is a byproduct of a religious practice many faithful Hindu women have observed for generations. Pilgrims cut off their hair as an offering to the gods. The hair is then cleaned, processed and exported.

Tiripati temple is where most of the Hindu offerings take place. The hair trade is a boon for the temple, now commonly known as the richest temple in India. Much of that money is coming from places like Los Angeles, where advertisements for Indian hair dot utility poles and storefront windows across the city. With demand for Indian hair growing, more and more Indian companies are advertising to Americans directly, hoping to cash in on the trend.

Ummm. I’m not sure…but isn’t it kind of blasphemous to take hair offered to the Gods…and then turn around and sell it to Tara Reid?

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Guest Blogger: Siddhartha Mitter

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I found our newest guest blogger sitting under a Bodhi Tree in a snow covered park near our world blogging headquarters in North Dakota. For one who had made such a long journey, an invitation to guest blog seemed very appropriate. As I approached him he simply said, “I had been expecting your arrival.” Please welcome one ill Hindu: Siddhartha Mitter.

I am an independent writer on topics including politics, music, food, race, globalization, and cultural change. After academic training in the politics and economics of developing countries, I worked on electric utilities in West Africa, and then spent six years in research and consulting work in the global energy industry. In 2002 I shed these layers to regain my creative freedom. [Link]

Yes, we have found that people who end up in our bunker have shed themselves of material things and chosen to take the blogastic vows that we too hold dear.

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