I Prefer That You Kiss My…

Also, I urgently require that you not be so “Jim Crow” (Thanks, Al Mujahid).
This is outrageous, y’all:

Posted On : 17 August 2005

URGENTLY REQUIRED

A leading company in the automotive business requires the following personnel to be located in Abu Dhabi and Beda Zayed city branch

DIESEL MECHANICS
ELECTRICIANS
MECHANICS
PAINTERS
DENTERS
LIGHT & HEAVY DRIVERS

Applicants should have a relative Diploma with minimum 3 years experience in Automobiles industry.

UAE D/L is a must for drivers.

Indians are not preferred to apply.

Fax: 02-6767708
P.O Box 29699 Abu Dhabi

Just one more reason why it’s a part of the world I’m not fond of…the minuscule silver lining is, less jobs for brown people means less brown people in the gulf, which means less stories like this. Continue reading

Hundreds of Bombs Rock Bangladesh

red device.jpg Two people are dead and 115 people remain injured after 350 bombs detonated in or around government buildings all over Bangladesh today. (Thanks, Rahul.) The explosions which were apparently the work of Islamic militant group Jamayetul Mujahedin affected 63 of the country’s 64 districts. [link]

The bombs exploded in rapid succession between 10:30 and 11:30 in the morning, local time. From the BBC:

…timing devices were found at the scenes of blasts but most of the bombs were small, homemade devices – wrapped in tape or paper.
One of the deaths was a young boy in Savar, near Dhaka, who was killed when he picked up a device. [link]

The group responsible for the blasts was banned by the Bangladeshi government earlier this year; previously, the government had insisted that Bangladesh didn’t have a problem with Islamic Militancy, so this policy change was significant.

Leaflets from the Jamatul Mujahideen Bangladesh have appeared at the site of some of the blasts.
“It is time to implement Islamic law in Bangladesh” and “Bush and Blair be warned and get out of Muslim countries”, the leaflets say. [link]

Developing… Continue reading

Better Living through (Massachusetts Institute of) Technology

anmols creation.jpg

Boys, the era of “uh-huh” is over and you have one of your own to thank for it {Thanks, Srinath + Anon}.

Researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology are developing software for cell phones that would analyze speech patterns and voice tones to rate people — on a scale of 0 to 100 percent — on how engaged they are in a conversation.
Anmol Madan, who led the project while he pursued a master’s degree at MIT, sees the Jerk-O-Meter as a tool for improving relationships, not ending them. Or it might assist telephone sales and marketing efforts.

HA. You’re all busted. No more mindlessly muttering, “uh-huh…yup…wow.. .huh” while your significant other chatters on– the Jerk-O-Meter is listening! Thanks to the magic of mathematical algorithms, the program can measure stress levels, how often one speaks and how empathetic a person’s voice sounds…if it doesn’t hear dulcet tones, the Jerk-O-Meter admonishes users to be nicer via pop-up messages on their phones. This isn’t all bad news, though. The Jerk-O-Meter could be a boon to the back, since its use could prevent a night spent on the couch.

“Think of a situation where you could actually prevent an argument,” he said. “Just having this device can make people more attentive because they know they’re being monitored.”

A penguin was involved:

The prototype version of the program runs in Linux on a phone plugged into Voice over Internet service. Once the Jerk-O-Meter is completed, in six months or so, Madan envisions selling it as software that could be downloaded off the Internet — a potentially useful tool for focus groups, telemarketers and salesmen.

Pish posh. It’s such a useful tool, it’s going to become a best-seller with pissed off girlfriends, trust me. 😉 Continue reading

“I forgot.” Yeah, that’s my fave excuse, too.

vella.jpg I hate moving. I hate moving so much that when I left Manhattan in 2003, I hastily shoved everything in storage near Chelsea. ItÂ’s still there.

I think my reluctance to pack a suitcase might be related to the sheer panic and anxiety I experience whenever I have to move. Something about carefully folding and arranging items in boxes freaks me out, man.

This is the explanation I gave my long-suffering Mummy last week when I was at home in California. I was scheduled to leave for the airport at 7pm and I hadnÂ’t packed as of 6:15. Of course, I ended up hastily tossing everything in, cringing at how my clothes were getting abused, how my jewelry would be a tangled mess by the time I got back to DC, how I would surely forget something. I threw everything on my bathroom counter in my cosmetics bag, zipped it and hoped for the best.

8pm. Security. IÂ’ve padded through the gate barefoot and I’m trying not to think about what sorts of germs IÂ’m walking on while I wait for my bag to leave the X-rayÂ…

“Ma’am? Would you mind coming with me?”

Nope. I donÂ’t mind at all. IÂ’m brown, but I have nothing to hide. It’s been years. I know to just expect this routine. I grab my prrrecious iBook and follow him to a table. HeÂ’s poking my carry-on gingerly, a worried look distorting his face. Continue reading

The only time I’m not “from India”

Outrageous, bold and deadlyÂ…no wonder the media loves it. Every single time I turn on the TV or glance at Google News, I catch the latest development in the saga of Jennifer and George Hyatte, the outlaw married couple whose adventurous last few days read like a gangsta rap wet dream.

A US inmate has escaped after his wife shot dead a guard who was escorting the prisoner outside a courthouse in the state of Tennessee, authorities say.
Police say George and Jennifer Hyatte fled the scene in Kingston in a vehicle which was later found abandoned.
A hunt is under way for the former prison nurse and the escapee, who is described as “extremely violent”.

After that daring escape, the terrible twosome was on the run; they headed to Ohio (said, A, O, way to go Ohio) and got in a cab with one deliciously skeptical Mike Wagers. Wagers, their driver, made small talk that would later lead to a dramatic capture:

“The cover story they gave me didn’t really seem to wash too much,” Wagers told The Early Show co-anchor Harry Smith Thursday. “I mean, I could kinda see through that. But I had no indication that these guys were really dangerous or they were on the run.”
They claimed they were heading to a sales conference of Amway, the household goods manufacturer. But, says Wagers, “They didn’t strike me as the Amway type, because, to be honest, they weren’t very pushy about their product. And I’ve dealt with (Amway salespeople) before. So that was my only real suspicion.

Genius.

What about you? Have you enjoyed the fervent courtship of an Amway-ite? I know theyÂ’re everywhere but I was never approached, annoyed or harassed until I moved back to DC this year. Continue reading

Cowboy up…if you dare

scooter-cow.jpegQ: How do you deal with the estimated 40,000 cows who wander the streets of Delhi?

A: Put a price on their heads! Sort of.

An Indian court has issued an order telling authorities in Delhi to offer a reward for people catching stray cows roaming the capital’s streets.
The Delhi High Court ordered southern Delhi authorities to pay 2,000 rupees ($45) to anyone delivering a stray cow to them.

Though another court order addressed this situation two years ago, not much progress has been made; the animals are still a traffic hazard. The bounty-equipped bovines will be taken to a shelter before they are auctioned off to fund the scheme.

This is something I’ve always been curious about– where do the meandering animals come from in the first place? Are they drawn to the bright lights of the big city like so many of us villagers?

Most are let loose to wander by unscrupulous dairy owners.

And how’s this new strategery working for you, Delhi (to bite Dr. Phil)?

Catching a free roaming cow is not easy – on the first day of the cash scheme there was not one claimant.

Continue reading

At least She’s safe

nun.jpg I’m an insomniac tonight, but you benefit from what my bloodshot eyes see on the local peacock affiliate. Read what happened to an asset to the abbey:

A Catholic nun who works to provide care for pregnant women was found with only minor injuries after a mysterious abduction from her convent in Southeast Washington yesterday, authorities said.
The 38-year-old nun, known as Sister Liann, was hanging laundry about 6:30 a.m. behind Our Lady Queen of Peace Convent when she noticed a man and woman on the grounds, police said.

Poor Sister Liann–a member of the Missionaries of Charity order that Mother Teresa created–approached the suspicious pair, only to have a blanket thrown over her head as she was forced into a waiting van. I shudder just typing that; I’ve read that once a victim is in a vehicle, their chances are slim to done.

Sister Liann’s peers were alarmed when she didn’t return from her chores to attend 7 a.m. Mass. Once the authorities were alerted, no resource was spared– I’m watching footage of recruits, bloodhounds and even a helicopter, all employed in the search for her.

It’s not clear what the criminals who abducted this nun wanted; they drove her around and later dropped her off two miles from her convent, which runs a soup kitchen among other programs for residents of this troubled neighborhood. Slightly injured (though I haven’t read in what way) she walked to a nearby Catholic church where she waited for help.

Detectives had not determined a motive. They were questioning the woman last night to learn more details. She is from India and speaks fractured English, police said.

D.C.’s archbishop, Cardinal Theodore McCarrick looked perplexed while on NBC 4 news a few minutes ago, as he reminded the public that these nuns “don’t have two nickles to rub together”.

Neighbors and top police officials expressed outrage over the abduction…
Several residents said the neighborhood is violent and a hotbed for drug dealing. The nuns, they said, seemed to take special care with locking their gate at night and keeping a close eye on suspicious people in the area.
“It’s wild,” said James Kelly, 52, who lives across the street from the convent. “The nuns are here helping people out. They would do anything for you. This is just crazy.”

Continue reading

Mutineer Meetup in SF– Wess Siiiiide! (updated)

I’m going going back back to Cali Cali, in preparation for BlogHer, a conference dedicated to amplifying women’s voices. I’m just giddy. What a privilege to represent this blog (and all of you!) on a panel at an event that features DOOCE. 😉

What IS BlogHer? What, the cool use of “amplify” didn’t do it for you?

Where are the women bloggers? We’re right here. . . www.blogher.org
BlogHer Conference ’05 will be the first of its kind, an opportunity for the female blogging community to meet in person. It will set the agenda for future BlogHer networking and enhance women’s influence in the blog community.
The event will include onsite mixers and informal meet-ups for attendees seeking to network in their areas of interest. BlogHer will even set aside a “Room of Your Own” to enable attendees to form impromptu sessions. A pre-event mixer will be held in close proximity to the conference site the evening before. Also, BlogHer will designate space for vendor demonstrations, where bloggers can explore which solutions work best for their needs.

Word.

Speaking of mixers, I’d love to mix with some of our Northern California-based Mutineers. If you missed Manish and Vinod in New York, come hang out this Sunday, though I’m a sad consolation prize in comparison to the man who was featured at our right-coast line up. 😀

What say you? I’ll be exhausted, but on fire from BlogHer and I’d love to give you all the dirt from Saturday’s conference–in person. Who’s in?

TIME: 5pm
SPACE: Caffe Greco
PLACE: 423 Columbus Ave,San Francisco,CA Continue reading

“I will kill every American that I see…”

It’s becoming a sickeningly familiar story; a young man who seems at home in the “western world” ends up fundamentally altered. This. This is what terrifies me. Someone who had the same $70k/year programming job which so many people whom we all know do, someone who was a Yankees fan, incredibly, someone whose own mother escaped one of the towers before it fell…is someone who hates us. When a man can sympathize, nay, enthusiastically support and participate in a movement that almost killed his own mother…we’re fcuked.

From today’s WaPo:

It is safe to assume that most people would not react to the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks in quite the same way as Mohammed Junaid Babar. After all, the longtime resident of Queens, N.Y., told a Canadian television network that his own mother had been one of the survivors — barely escaping from the ninth floor of one of the towers before it collapsed.
Yet, Babar said in that same interview from Pakistan in the fall of 2001, his “loyalty is to the Muslims, not the Americans.”
“I will kill every American that I see in Afghanistan, and while I am in Pakistan, if I see them in Pakistan, I will kill every American soldier I can in Pakistan,” he said during the interview with ITN Five News.

Abhi wrote an SM post about Babar almost a year ago, after the erstwhile New Yorker attended a “terrorist summit” in Pakistan:

from Queens in New York City came Mohammed Junaid Babar, a Pakistani American who arrived with cash, sleeping bags, ponchos, waterproof socks and other supplies for the mountain-bound jihadis.

The “boy scout” of Al Qaeda also brough along night-vision goggles, helpfully enough. In that SM post, Abhi mentioned that Babar was wanted in connection with a “future terrorist attack”. As of two weeks ago, that future is here. This naturalized U.S. Citizen turned Jihadi joined al Qaeda just so he could battle U.S. soldiers…and civilians in Britain. Such bravery.

At least the Son-of-a…woman who is apparently expendable is useful:

Now in U.S. custody after pleading guilty to terrorism charges last year, Babar has proved invaluable to U.S. and British investigators probing this month’s attacks on the London transit system, numerous officials said. He has identified at least one of the suicide bombers, Mohammed Sidique Khan, through photographs and has provided other details that may be helpful in unraveling the plot, according to law enforcement and intelligence sources.

Continue reading

The many uses of take-out containers

made in india.jpg Buried within a BBC article about the Police naming two suspects in last ThursdayÂ’s bombing in London was a tidbit that caught my attention…but first, the news:

Officers are looking for Yasin Hassan Omar, 24, and Muktar Said Ibrahim, 27. Ibrahim is being linked to a house in north London, which is being raided…
Two more people have been arrested, taking the total number held to five.

Now exactly what did I find so fascinating? This:

“All five of these bombs had been placed inside dark colored rucksacks or sports bags. All of them were made using the same type of plastic food storage container. These were manufactured in India, and are exported through one company into this country and then sold in approximately 100 outlets across the United Kingdom.
“The type we are interested in is this six and a quarter liter-sized container with a white plastic lid,” he said. “It has a label describing it as a ‘Delta 6250 with Lid,’ and also has another colored label with the description ‘Family Containers, Delta, Superior Quality.’ Please note that we are only interested in the white lid variety. They are also produced in other colors.”

Who keeps the labels on those things? I peel them off. Anyway, of course, now authorities are appealing to shop owners who remember selling several containers all at once…which sounded logical to me at first…until I remembered that my own saintly Mother never buys these things one at a time. 🙂

All you Aunties out there (as well as those of you who merely shop like them)…quit acting so suspicious. 😉 Continue reading