55Friday: The “Candy Everybody Wants” Edition

Cadbury.jpg

When I’m not listening to Accuradio at work, the wee leetle iPod, it is on the shuffle. Like all other gadget-addicted fruit-lovers, I marvel at how the seemingly random is the utterly awesome, since I like every tune that gets served up, every time.

This, despite the fact that I am the one who chose to load all my favorite songs on to Suitable iPod in the first place, thus making me an ingrate for feeling so much wonder at what I, not shuffle, hath wrought. Maybe it’s the timing of it all, i.e. how the perfect song always seems to play at the exact moment it should? How else to explain why Depeche Mode’s “Master and Servant” blares when I’m reading about Dick Cheney and Dubya… 😉

Anyway, I’ve heard the song which inspires this week’s nanofiction orgy 2-3 times a day, every day this week thanks to shuffling. It’s one of my favorite joints of all time, in part because I sweat Natalie Merchant’s voice so so very much. So, since I already had mancandy on the brain and there is ALWAYS candy in my tummy, this week is dedicated to sweet stuff, which seems especially apposite when baskets everywhere are being filled with goodies which will make dentists rich in a few months.

Write about sugar, peeps, sour patch kids or that totem of my childhood which is pictured to the left, Cadbury fruit and nut. I’ve had everything from Hershey’s to handmade, exorbitantly-priced truffles and no chocolate is more delicious or makes me feel more loved; if it’s from England (where it tastes better!) I feel positively adored.

Write 55 words (exactly 55 words, no need to be Hemingway) inspired by the lyrics to “Candy Everybody Wants” or about your own sugar-fix in the comments below. If you are in a salty mood, disregard the weekly theme. We just want to read, so get typing. Continue reading

I Tolerate, but Don’t Endorse Lameness

Yesterday, for the first time ever, a prayer was offered in the Texas Senate by a Muslim cleric.

Yesterday, a republican Senator named Dan Patrick was as much of a hypocritical jerk as he possibly could have been with regards to that historic occurrence.

He pointedly and publically boycotted the event, handed out a two-year old Dallas Morning News editorial which vaguely outlined something “troubling” about the cleric in question and THEN, in a stunning moment of massengillosity, he utilized personal privilege in order to end the Senate session by spouting bullshit about tolerance while smugly, condescendingly reminding us all that we are lucky to be here in Amreeka, where we’re free. Gosh, Massa we sho is lucky to be here wit you! (Thanks for the tip, Margin Fades) Carrie ponders tolerance.JPG

Witness the awesome tolerance below (all quotes from the Houston Chronicle unless otherwise indicated):

“I think that it’s important that we are tolerant as a people of all faiths, but that doesn’t mean we have to endorse all faiths, and that was my decision,” (Patrick) said later.

Either you believe in it or you don’t, make up your damned mind. Wtf does this even mean?

I surely believe that everyone should have the right to speak, but I didn’t want my attendance on the floor to appear that I was endorsing that.”

While it’s true that other Senators missed Imam Yusuf Kavakci’s invocation (which was in English, btw), Patrick was the only one who tried to educate his fellow legislators about the nefarious, dangerous nature of the Turkish cleric and his poopy views:

But he was the only senator known to have passed out to other senators copies of a two-year-old newspaper editorial criticizing Kavakci for publicly praising two radical Islamists.

I couldn’t find the editorial via the Dallas Morning News website, so I’m borrowing the following from LGF, since they had a post which featured the text:

The mosque’s imam, Dr. Yusuf Kavakci, has publicly praised two of the world’s foremost radical Islamists, Yusuf Qaradawi and Hasan al-Turabi, as exemplary leaders. Dr. Kavakci also sits on the board of the Saudi-backed Islamic Society of North America, described in congressional testimony as a major conduit of Wahhabist teaching. Yet Dr. Kavakci tells The Dallas Morning News he rejects Wahhabist teaching. Something doesn’t add up. [LGF]

When I googled the Islamic Society of North America, I found this:

The ISNA was one of a number of Muslim groups investigated by US law enforcement for possible terrorist connections. Its tax records were requested in December 2003 by the Senate Finance Committee. However, the committee’s investigation concluded in November 2005 with no action taken. Committee chairman Charles Grassley said, “We did not find anything alarming enough that required additional follow-up beyond what law enforcement is already doing.” [wiki]

Back to the Houston Chronicle’s coverage of the Senator who believes in concepts which he can’t, as a good Christian, endorse (p.s. I’ve never been more relieved to be a bad Christian):

Patrick’s political ally, Harris County Republican Chairman Jared Woodfill, had sharply criticized the fact that the Muslim prayer was scheduled during the week before Easter.

What if it were TWO weeks before Easter? This reminds me of the Sex and The City episode I saw last night, when the girls were at Vera Wang for final bridesmaids’ dress fittings and Charlotte advised a confused, conflicted Carrie, “Don’t tell Aidan you’re a cheating whore now, do it after my wedding, this is MY WEEK”, to which Miranda brilliantly replied, “you get a DAY. Not a week. A day.” Exactly. Continue reading

Cricket: “GO BOPARA” indeed!

Yummy Ravi.JPG Well.

All I have to say is thanggod Shodan-san commented all off-topic in the wrong thread, because if he hadn’t, I would’ve never seen this delicious bit of Punjabi mancandy. MeOW. The second Sikh to play cricket for England after Monty??? That TOTALLY deserves a post. Well, that and I would like to stare at his picture some more; I’m sure other mutineers will too.

FYI- all of the below is from his wiki entry (because it’s Holy Wednesday and I’m late for church!):

Ravinder Singh (“Ravi”) Bopara (born 4 May 1985, Forest Gate, Newham, London) is an English cricketer who plays for Essex. Although originally a specialist batsman, he is now improving his medium-pace bowling and developing into an all-rounder. He is the second Sikh to play cricket for England, after Monty Panesar.
Bopara made his first-class debut for Essex in May 2002. In 2003 and 2004, he played several matches for England Under-19s, including in the Under-19 Cricket World Cup 2004.
In the 2005 season, he scored 880 first-class runs, including his first first-class century. He also hit 135 in a non-first-class match against the touring Australians, putting on 270 for the second wicket with Alastair Cook…
In January 2007 Kevin Pietersen sustained a rib injury in England’s first One-Day International against Australia, keeping him out of the remainder of the series. Bopara was called up as his replacement, and made his ODI debut on 2 February. Later that month, he was named in the England squad for the 2007 Cricket World Cup,[2] and he played his second ODI in England’s second match of that tournament.

More soon…if only so that there can be more pictures of cricket-playing yumminess. 😉 Continue reading

Mega Malakar Mania– yours for $9.95

Since a few of you mutineers adore the artfully tressed, usually well-dressed, remarkably unstressed SANJAYA, perhaps one of you would like to create an online shrine in his honor? The perfect domain is still available (but act soon!). Via UberDesi and eBay:

Do you love Sanjaya Malakar from American Idol?? In almost every broadcast Ryan say’s “Malakar Mania” and NOW YOU CAN OWN IT on the WEB!
This URL / Domain name is guaranteed to get 1000’s of hits!
This Domain name / URL has been appraised at over $2,500 due to the popularity of Sanjaya, thanks to Howard Stern and the craze called American Idol!
Bidding starts at ONLY $9.95

Have at it– and don’t say we didn’t get you anything for Christmas/Channukah/Diwali/Eid/Nowruz/Onam. 😉 Continue reading

The Probability of this Uncle Being Awesome is High.

Srinivasa S. R. Varadhan.jpg An NYU Professor of graduate and undergraduate courses in statistics, probability and analysis at NYU’s Courant Institute of Mathematical Studies has won the Abel Prize for 2007. It’s kinda like the Nobel, but for maths and he’s the first desi to win it. In other words, this is a big deal (thanks, karmakong and Sanjiv).

The Norwegian Academy of Science and Letters has decided to award the Abel Prize for 2007 to Srinivasa S.R. Varadhan, Courant Institute of Mathematical Sciences, New York. He receives the prize “for his fundamental contributions to probability theory and in particular for creating a unified theory of large deviation”. [link]

As for the caption under the good Professor’s picture: don’t you ever see an Uncle or an Auntie and just want to hug them? Especially if they seem to be radiating wisdom and kindness? Ah, I’ve been taking what Saheli is on, so pardon us as we skip through flower-laden fields, seeing the absolute best in people. He just seems like the kind of Uncle I’d love to have (as opposed to most of my Uncles, whom I have to love). Well, that and my devotion to people who are fantastic at math is probably responsible for some of this effusiveness. 😀

Back on topic:

Probability theory is the mathematical tool for analyzing situations governed by chance. The theory of large deviations studies the occurrence of rare events. This subject has concrete applications to fields as diverse as physics, biology, economics, statistics, computer science, and engineering. [link]

Unfortunately, there is a typo in the above definition, “my love life” should immediately follow “computer science”.

Varadhan’s theory of large deviations provides a unifying and efficient method for clarifying a rich variety of phenomena arising in complex stochastic systems, in fields as diverse as quantum field theory, statistical physics, population dynamics, econometrics and finance, and traffic engineering. It has also greatly expanded our ability to use computers to simulate and analyze the occurrence of rare events. Over the last four decades, the theory of large deviations has become a cornerstone of modern probability, both pure and applied.[link]

For more information on this dazzling desi, peep his biography here. Next up at SM: why Anna is the only South Indian person ever to have never taken calculus. Cause for shame or America is to blame? You decide. Continue reading

Amateur! I scorn your weakness.

Starvation for Sanjaya: 16 Days Later

Going on a hunger strike because you didn’t like Sanjaya Malakar was asinine. Way to make America look even lamer with your priorities there. No, don’t fret about the homeless, the environment or I don’t know, THE WAR. Worry your empty head about a child on AMERICAN IDOL. My contempt runneth over.

P.S. Regarding those whom you “thanked” for starving with you on this pathetic crusade: I cannot believe that there were others who were mentally impaired enough to join you in this foolish campaign against a contestant on reality television. I wish a lack of reproductive success upon the lot of you, so that your alleles won’t create defective little humans who would grow up to pull similarly inane stunts, lest they annoy MY descendants, who, if anything, will be even MEANER and less patient than I am.

P.P.S. Shlok, thanks for the tip.

P.P.P.S. Sanjaya Zindabad!!!! For no other reason than to irk everyone I cursed above. As our favorite teens Hetal and Kapila would eloquently say, FEEL R BROWN WRATH, HATERZZZZ. Continue reading

Cricket: India hearts Guyana

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It’s not the timeliest bit o’ World Cup mutinousness (oy, I meant to have it up last Wednesday…sorry Anonymous Tipster), but once I realized that a) the cricket stadium I’m about to discuss had already been mentioned on SM almost two years ago, by one of our earliest readers and b) it dealt with Guyana, a part of the diaspora we don’t get a chance to cover all that often, I couldn’t resist blogging it, tardy though I may be. 🙂

Read all about India and Guyana’s construction-lovechild, via this article in the Malaysia Sun:

Inaugurated by Indian Vice President Bhairon Singh Shekhawat during his official visit to Guyana in November last year, Guyana’s new international cricket stadium, which will hold as many as half a dozen matches in the Super Eight stage, has been billed as the stadium of friendship between India and Guyana.
India gave the Guyanese government a grant of $6 million and a concessional line of credit of $19 million for the purpose.
The new facility was built by Mumbai-based firm Shapoorji Pallonji.

It sounds impressive:

The new picturesque Guyana National Stadium is set on the east coast of the majestic Demerara river, which flows into the mighty Atlantic just a few miles away.
The new stadium seats over 10,720 spectators and accommodates another 4,280 on a grassy mound…The wide area around the stadium has seen hotels sprouting up which are expected to boost Guyana’s tourism industry.

Even numismatists get some love 😉

The Bank of Guyana has also issued a special gold coin to mark the opening of the new stadium.

Continue reading

From Methodist Church to Mosque in Uneasy England

Arshad.jpg From the NYT, a story about how “one pristine town in some of Britain’s most untouched countryside” voted to allow an unused Methodist church to become a mosque (thanks, Ardy):

The narrow vote by the municipal authorities marked the end of a bitter struggle by the tiny Muslim population to establish a place of worship, one that will put a mosque in an imposing stone Methodist church that had been used as a factory since its congregation dwindled away 40 years ago…
Britain may continue to regard itself as a Christian nation. But practicing Muslims are likely to outnumber church-attending Christians in several decades, according to a recent survey by Christian Research, a group that specializes in documenting the status of Christianity in Britain.

The mosque will exist because of one “passionate young professional of Pakistani descent”, who sounds tolerant and moderate in the article:

“We’ve been trying to get a place of worship for 30 years,” said Sheraz Arshad, 31, the Muslim leader here, his voice rattling around the empty old Mount Zion Methodist Church that will house his mosque. “It’s fitting it is a church: it is visually symbolic, the coming together of religions.”

Continue reading

MORE fun with Hetal and Kapila!

GujuHottiee120586: u there

sexxy5@biPrinc3ss: sup

GujuHottiee120586: 🙁

sexxy5@biPrinc3ss: wats rong

GujuHottiee120586: i was studyin for my physix quiz but then i got sooo upset n i had to stop. know i cant concentrate 🙁 🙁

sexxy5@biPrinc3ss: wait wats ur quiz on

GujuHottiee120586: faradayz law of reduction or something

sexxy5@biPrinc3ss: eww. physics is soooo fuckin hard

GujuHottiee120586: N E WAY

sexxy5@biPrinc3ss: lol. my bad.

GujuHottiee120586: LOOK. Look at wat someone wrote on this blog about kal! What a fowl ignornt racist bitch!!!1

sexxy5@biPrinc3ss: k. gimme a sec Continue reading

55Friday: The “I Feel Fine” Edition

oh, hell no.jpg Set adrift on memory bliss…

My screen says, “Please replace this generic password.”

Either my kappipaal hasn’t kicked in yet or I’ve got a severe case of Spring fever (perhaps cowbell could cure it?). I can’t focus, let alone devise a password with 12 letters, one symbol, two numbers and an exclamation point. One of my favorite co-workers stops by my desk, with an eyebrow raised.

“You look lost.”

“Can you like, pick a password for me? Like, passwords are hard.”

Like math?”

This is our favorite inside joke, this reference to Barbie’s great fustercluck of ’92. Still, despite legendary vacuous utterances, Barbie is beloved not just by me but also his six-year old daughter, because as we three agree, them Bratz dollz are slatterns.

“Sure I’ll pick something for you.” He seems serious.

“You like music. Use a song lyric.”, he instructs, before striding in to his office, which is next door to my desk. Then he pops his head back out…

“I used to use ‘It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine’ as mine.”

“R.E.M. fan, eh?”

He smiles at me in response. We’re nearly the same age; we were both dorky loners who probably spent all our free time between classes with our headphones on, tuning out the world. We both remember how the release of “Green” in 1988, during the fall quarters of our Freshman/Junior year in high school defined a moment, a mood. Continue reading