Author Archives: A N N A

Indifferent? Or…uh…mellow?

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pretty padma looks like my cousin here.jpgI get an email from Salon daily; with over 2,690 pieces of unread mail* in my beleaguered GMail account, I’m likely to open these newsletter-y missives approximately twice a week. Those two instances hardly ever coincide with Sunday’s “I like to watch”-edition, but I was feeling peevish while waiting for the laaaast loooooad of laundry to dry at 2:30 am, so I thought, “why not peek…it might mention my beloved ‘Mad Men‘, which was the best show ever until season two started and kind of weirded me out, man.”

Right.

So I’m skimming “Critics’ Picks”, and I see no shout-outs to AMC’s finest, but my finely-honed browndar immediately zooms in on the following blurb, about Bravo’s tatti-est reality show:

Jaclyn Smith on “Shear Genius”
“Shear Genius” (Wednesdays at 10 p.m. EDT) may be the weakest of Bravo’s professional reality competitions — the contestants are almost uniformly uninteresting, and the hairstyles they create are almost uniformly ugly. Even so, its host, former “Charlie’s Angels” star Jaclyn Smith, stands out as a kinder, gentler alternative to Bravo spokesmodels Heidi Klum and Padma Lakshmi. For some crazy reason, Smith has great wells of compassion for these bad people with their bad hairstyles. When she informs a hairstylist that it’s his or her “final cut” at the end of each episode, Smith’s eyes invariably well up with tears and her voice wavers as she carefully chooses a few comforting words as a send-off. Forget Klum’s curt “auf Wiedersehen” and Lakshmi’s indifferent “Pack your knives and go” — Smith’s tearful goodbyes seem to remind us, “What could be more human than empathizing with the untalented?” — Heather Havrilesky

Whoaaaa, there HH. I know that all girls are supposed to lose their minds over Charlie’s Angels (the inspiration for a million mediocre facebook pictures) and Grease (I will never understand the obsession with that film or its annoying-as-soulja boy-soundtrack), but are we giving the gorgeous Jaclyn a bit too much credit? Let’s not so soon forget or forgive that unfortunate casual line she released years ago– there’s a reason why so many pairs of elastic-waist pants give “mom jeans” a run for fug and part of that responsibility lies with the otherwise glamorous Jaclyn Smith.

Anyway, there is nothing wrong with Heidi. If anything, far too much is right with that woman. She has squeezed three babies out of that ridiculous body and she has the cutest, most impish smile. As for pulchritudinous Padma, girl, she ain’t indifferent or cold…she’s HIGH. The Mutiny could’ve told you that, last year:

According to a source who worked on the set of Top Chef, the ex-model turned trophy wife turned hostess Padma Lakshmi allegedly enjoys smoking pot on set, giving a whole new meaning to the term “Quickfire Challenge” — see, cause she’s allegedly lighting up a joint instead of a stove! Anyway. Exactly how often this happened is disputed, though we were assured it was allegedly “fairly regularly…” [BWE]

That explains the sloooow, slightly slurred speech and her gracious, always-ready appetite to try potentially smack-nasty food– it also provides an explanation for why she doesn’t share Ms. Smith’s penchant for saltwater…she’s happy! Continue reading →

Synchronized Bombs Kill Two in Bangalore

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In a move “designed to create panic”, at least seven small bombs exploded in Bangalore, earlier today (thanks Janeofalltrades and smallpress):

Bangalore Police Commissioner Shankar Bidri said the seven blasts went off within several minutes of each other at different spots across the city. One woman was killed in an explosion at a bus stop in the city’s Madiwala neighborhood, he said.
Another person died later of his injuries, federal Home Minister Shivraj Patil said.
Bidri said each of the small bombs contained the amount of explosives equal to “one or two grenades” and appeared to have been set off by timers. [AP]

No one has owned the terrorist act, which took aim at the city’s neighborhoods (vs. its companies), as of yet.

The police took pains to say that the city’s famed technology sector did not seem to be targeted, and that the blasts were designed to create panic. The blasts took place in crowded, middle-class neighborhoods. The city has grown rapidly in recent years from a boom in technology outsourcing.
By Indian standards, where several cities have been hit in recent years by large-scale terror attacks, the explosions on Friday were relatively minor. In the last major attack, serial blasts in Jaipur, an historic city and a main tourist hub in western Rajasthan, killed more than 60 people in May. The authorities have said in the past that terror attacks were designed to sow hostility and fear among Indian Muslims and Hindus.

Continue reading →

Some Hin-dos and Hin-don’ts via The Colbear Report

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In the following adorable clip, Stephen Colbert worries about Democratic nominee Bharath Obama being church-less and offers some divine guidance regarding salvation and religious affiliation; the segment is apparently the first of many in a series where Colbert thoughtfully helps Obama try on various faiths…I’m guessing Islam won’t be included. (Thanks for the tip, Maisnon and Kalyan!)

I share Maisnon’s skepticism about Auntie’s “no guilt!!”-claim, how about you? I also love the “spoiler” about how Manoj Nelliyattu Shyamalan will be paying his karmic debt. Finally, isn’t Colbert a little late with this fantastic suggestion? Bharath seems rather fond of Hinduism already. Continue reading →

M.I.A., like Jem, is truly outrageous!

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Controversial crooner (and cover girl) Mathangi Arulpragasam got fugged not once, but twice over at the always-entertaining Go Fug Yourself (thank you thank you, mbawife). Behold her first fugtacular outfit below, and her second, after the jump (click to enlarge both to their full glory…srsly).

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The first thing I thought of when I saw this (as if you hadn’t already guessed from my title) was “Jem! And the Holograms!“, or Jerrica, more accurately. They don’t make cartoons like they used to, do they boys and girls? When we played “Jem”, I always wanted to be “Aja”, but I was often stuck playing “Kimber”. The four of you who know what the hell I’m talking about need not comment, I can feel your sympathy over the intarweb. I’m sensitive like that. Continue reading →

Gather ye rosebuds, while ye may…

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GatherYeRosebuds1909Waterhouse.jpg I can hear your voice, your brash, loud, excitable voice.

You are on the phone, making a precious, international phone call, damning someone or something in your inimitable Malayalam; the velocity with which you deliver words another generation will forget would make an auctioneer or a debater envious. As the conversation progresses, you grow louder, gleeful, more boisterous. I can discern happiness where others hear anger. Indeed, “Americans” fear your voice or find it disturbing; you are forever forced to clarify that you are not at all upset, that this is just. how. you. speak.

You just shouted your punchline and you have punctuated it with raucous laughter. As far as I’m concerned, someone might as well have cranked a Fisher-Price mobile to commence a saccharine rendition of Brahms’ lullaby; there are no audible sounds which I could ever find more soothing, which is why I wake only momentarily before nestling back in to the crook of the couch, where I am lying down.

It is a hot summer day and the fan is purring while whirring cool air around the room. I am sick, and that is why I am passed out instead of reading, my Saturday-afternoon activity of choice. The cough medicine I reluctantly swallowed makes my extremities tingle, I feel such velvet electricity when I stretch…and even with my arms extended and my longish legs splayed out, there is couch to spare, I don’t feel the armrests and that is a reminder that I am small. Safe. Monsters cannot eat you if all your body parts stay on the couch or bed, this is a rule which all children know innately. Continue reading →

Terrorists Bomb Jaipur

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A series of explosions went off in Jaipur’s old city today, killing at least 60 people and wounding another 150 (thanks, Rob). Via CNN:

The seven explosions started at about 7:30 p.m. (1400 GMT, 1000 ET) and detonated within 12 minutes of each other, police said.
The bombs exploded within about 500 meters (0.3 mile) of each other in Jaipur’s old city, which is frequented by tourists…
An eighth bomb was defused, according to H.G. Raghavendra, a Jaipur city official. He described all the bombs as “medium intensity.”
“There is no reason to panic,” he told CNN-IBN. “Everything is under control.”

The Associated Press says it was actually six bombs and the seventh was defused. I’ve also seen different numbers for how many casualties the bombing caused.

Ruthless timing:

One of the blasts in Jaipur hit a market near a temple dedicated to the Hindu monkey god Hanuman, according to police. Tuesday is the day of worship set aside for Hanuman, and the temple was packed with people offering prayers on the way home from work.[AP]

No group has stepped forward yet to claim credit for the horrific, dastardly act, which Reuters said is “the deadliest bomb (attack) in India in nearly two years”. If you have relatives in, friends visiting or are otherwise connected to the Pink City, you are in my thoughts.

Developing… Continue reading →

Get up, Stand up TONIGHT in SF

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I heart our readers. I do:

Anna,
Hi I live in SF, and was planning on attending the rally tomorrow voicing concerns around China’s various human rights abuses.
I believe you live in SF? In any case are you aware of a Mutineer Team gathering to protest tomorrow?

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Dear Mutineer,

I actually live in Washington, D.C. (that’s why Chocolate City gets all the meetups), but you aren’t the only one who thought otherwise; I frequently receive emails, FB messages, and tweets from people who think I still live in Baghdad by the bay. 🙂

Since I am 3,ooo miles away from tomorrow’s action (and since I haven’t been well enough to blog), at this point, I am unaware of any organized effort to mutiny– but I’m thrilled you thought there could be. If I were home, I’d be there, with extra Ricola, in solidarity with you and other people of conscience. Since I can’t be there, I thought I’d put up this post to help you connect with potential co-protesters; it’s the least I can do for a reader like you.

Well? Who’s in? 🙂 Continue reading →

In Memory of Sameer

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Sameer Bhatia passed away peacefully this morning.

On his wedding day

The words of Kumar Bhatia, Sameer’s father:

It was difficult to see him suffer like this…It seemed to me that all the prayers, blessings and love form everyone were allowing him to ride the ship of prayers and blessings through turbulent waters which otherwise he would have had to swim through on his own. ~

Sameer, his bride, his loving family and his battalion of devoted friends are in our thoughts and prayers. Continue reading →

Hussein Ibish Embarrasses Himself on The Colbert Report

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Alert Mutineer Giri hit up my wall on Facebook*, and wrote a scorching screed about something he witnessed while watching last night’s Colbert Report.

Apparently, Hussein Ibish, the Executive Director of The Hala Foundation For Arab-American Leadership was a guest on the show; he was invited on to address the whole “Is Obama actually a Muslim?”-question, or, as Colbear facetiously put it, whether Obama is “a secret Muslim”. Ibish was ostensibly offended enough by Colbear’s jocular query to utter the following stupidity to his host, as if this would clear everything up:

“If someone says…that you…are a secret Hindu or perhaps a child molestor…are we to take that as…”

I beg your pardon? Sorry, Mr. Ibish, perhaps you should beg ours?

To his credit, Colbert forcefully replied, “I’ll take care of this one” to his loudly booing audience. He went on to proclaim:

“I find it offensive, that you are implying that all Hindus are child molestors. Your words, Sir. Your words.”

I find it offensive, too. What kind of “spokesperson” is so utterly reckless, or barring that, terrible at hiding their biases? Ibish went on what is arguably an influential television program and offered a dysphemistic metaphor, when he should have– for his sake, his cause’s sake, hell, everyone’s sake– been far more diplomatic. Continue reading →

There’s Something About Majumder

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http://www.watchingsitcoms.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/unhitched.jpg It’s Sunday night and I’m getting ready for the week, while not-really-watching the final minutes of Family Guy.

Hark- the faint pinging of my browndar!

It’s some new show on FOX, one which I don’t recognize; apparently, it stars someone from The Office and an actor who played one of Carrie’s love interests on SATC (“Carrie likes a JAZZ man!!”), plus two randoms, one of whom is vaguely brown. Now I’m paying attention.

I’m confused; this actor looks familiar, but I can’t place him…then I remember! He is Shaun Majumder, and he played Kumar’s snotty, perfect older brother! Back to my TV: on the show, the foursome are standing in line, outside a club. All I can think of is Amardeep’s post about Kumar/Kal and the question of accents for actors. I wonder where this guy will draw the line…

“This place looks like it is going off the hook!”

How odd…he barely has an accent, by Hollywood/Apu standards. He’s obviously playing someone desi. Within minutes, I discover that his character is a Doctor (that’s better than convenience store clerk/terrorist, no?). The show is funny, but I’m disappointed, because everything I hurriedly read about it during the commercial break positively references Seinfeld. Way to inspire impossible expectations, critics!

Some of you have no doubt been wondering where comic/actor Shaun Majumder has been for the last year or so, ever since he (fictionally) blew up Valencia, Calif., in the opening episodes of last season’s 24.
Not to worry. The boy’s been working. Working a lot. And now, as those labours begin to bear fruit, he’s popping up all over the tube. Indeed, it’s getting so you won’t be able to turn on your TV without Majumder’s grinning mug staring back out at you.
“Been a little bit busy here in the H-Wood,” Majumder allows, checking in by phone. “Things have been good.” [TheStar]

Unhitched made its mid-season debut this month; FOX has six episodes to try out. Continue reading →

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