Author Archives: manish

‘Tumhara naam kya hai, Basanti?’

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‘What’s your name, Basanti?’: Rang De Basanti is a commercial blockbuster in the guise of protest cinema. While City of God rose from the barrios, Basanti rose from Juhu Beach. Yes, it’s an earnest critique of corruption and apathy. But it’s also Aamir Khan’s second Lagaan clone: same English love interest, same chest-pounding nationalism, same period costume drama. Our Peter Pan in high-waisted pants is calculating and relentless.

Basanti hangs on an interesting gimmick: an English filmmaker persuades a group of Delhi University students to act in her documentary. As they reenact the Indian independence struggle, they evolve from cynical partiers into hardcore patriots. But after real life (or intermission) intrudes, the plot goes medieval on your ass.

Aamir Khan leans on the same regional rube routine he’s used since Rangeela, only he’s Punjabi Sikh, not Marathi. The real stars are Saif Ali’s über-cute sister Soha Ali Khan, the handsome Kunal Kapoor (no relation to Shashi Kapoor’s son) and A.R. Rahman’s romantic ditty ‘Tu Bin Bataye.’

The movie begins a wastrel yuuuth flick like Dil Chahta Hai and Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak. There’s lots of cheesy ’80s rock guitar, very Karate Kid. Cool, yaar, stop pressurizing me, let’s freak out. At least the cheese is set off with slick music vid cuts. Then it mashes the patriotism button hard with fighter jets streaming the colors of the tiranga. It’s Top Guna for those still in the crib when Goose was in the sod.

The movie smothers its best idea in Bollywood-style subtlety, which is to say none. Like in Africa, corrupt politicians have replaced European colonists as the Man who’s Keepin’ You Down. It’s a neat transposition, but for the mentally slow, the director dissolves the Butcher of Jallianwalla Bagh directly into a corrupt government minister. It’s like admiring someone from afar until they leer at you and grab their crotch.

On the other hand, the blonde isn’t fetishized here, nor is she the babe; that falls to Soha Ali Khan. Alice Patten delivers her lines in the best phonetic Hindi I’ve heard from a Brit actor yet. And it’s always fun watching photogenic desi jocks — those are not the types let into the U.S. on brains. It’s a reasonably original script, not a lift of Oldboy, The Game or Fight Club (thanks, GC). It’s a current issues film, which in the U.S. is considered death at the box office. And it touched me, I let the manipulation in.

This is one of the three-to-four Bollywood movies a year truly worth seeing. I dislike the showy, force-fed patriotism, and the motorcycle/electric guitar factor is tacky and lame, but the issues it tackles are extremely topical: India’s rising self-confidence, the end of the brain drain and a newfound determination to throw the bums out.

WARNING: Plot summary and spoilers below.

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‘Costa Mesa Dreams’ just doesn’t have the same ring

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Bombay Dreams the musical is going on a seven-month North American tour, including Toronto, and dholbanger Dave Sharma is going with it. First stop: Costa Mesa, California, on Feb. 21.

Sachin Bhatt plays Akaash

The final cast was announced this week:

Sachin Bhatt will star as Akaash with Sandra Allen as Rani and Reshma Shetty as Priya in the upcoming tour.. The cast will also feature Deep Katdare as Vikram, Aneesh Sheth as Sweetie, Suresh John as Madan and Christine Toy Johnson as Kitty DeSousa.

The Bombay Dreams ensemble comprises Enrique Acevedo, Tia Altinay, Nita Baxani, Shane Bland, Wendy Calio, Sujana Chand, Tiffany Michelle Cooper, Aaron Coulson, Diane Angela Fong, Monica Kapoor, Namita Kapoor, Stephanie Crain Klemons, Jeremy Leiner, Garrick Macatangay, Kenneth Maharaj, Anil Margsahayam, Skie Ocasio, Desmond Osborne, Christopher Quiban, Kristian Richards, Rommy Sandhu and Marie Kelly. [Link]

Sachin Bhatt… of St. Louis, MO received his B.S. in Vocal Performance with an outside field in Theatre from Indiana University… Sachin will be playing the role of Chino in the upcoming Asian/European Tour of West Side Story… [Link]

Fortunately, the star attraction will be there with them:

The fountain will be featured in the tour… the costumes are from the Broadway production. [Link]
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The merchant of vices

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I’m going to let you in on a terrible vice of mine. It’s a habit that just may turn me into a pauper: photo surfing. Give me pretty women, aerial photography or Friendster, and I can blow hours just clicking through.

If you too are gluttinous in your vision, stay away from the photos of mutineer Preston Merchant. A documentary photog, Merchant apparently goes to every desi event and destination you’ve ever wanted to see:

Some of the photos that caught my eye:

Look, buddy, I’ve got Desai photos too… from, uh, outside the Rubin Museum (it was sold out ).

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Blasphemous bill ejected from Parliament

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Amidst the Danish toon non-troversy, the Muslim Council lost a vote in the UK parliament this week on a bill banning insults to religion (via Asians in Media).

Supporters of the bill wanted to ban anti-Muslim ads by right-wing political parties. They also argued Hindus and Muslims deserved the same protection against incitement to violence already granted to Sikhs, Jews and Christians under racial hatred and blasphemy laws.

Opponents, such as comedian Rowan Atkinson, said the bill was a sop to Muslim voters, was overbroad and would also ban religious satire like Monty Python’s The Life of Brian. The bill passed in a weakened form with only the hatred and incitement to violence planks intact. Incidentally, Mr. Bean is married to a desi woman.

Salman Rushdie… “There are moments when one is profoundly grateful for, and proud of, British Parliamentary democracy. This is one of them…”

Hanif Kureishi… “This is an amazing result and a great achievement for writers and intellectuals when they unite…”

Hari Kunzru… “I was very happy to wake up to this news. The Government’s loss is Britain’s gain… This defeat should be another signal to the Government that in its disregard for civil liberties, it’s losing touch with the mainstream of British opinion…”

[PEN…] “… It will now be criminal to publish posters showing women of many colours in hijabs with the slogan ‘Muslims go home…’ ” [Link]

That blasphemy laws still exist on Britain’s books, pushed by the government church and enforceable by the state, makes me doubly glad of the upcoming 230th anniversary of American independence.

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Going nukular

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The latest New Yorker is running a scary story on just how close India and Pakistan got to war in 2002 after the Dec. 13, 2001 attack on the Indian Parliament. ‘The Stand-Off’ is written by Steve Coll, author of Ghost Wars: The Secret History of the CIA, Afghanistan and Bin Laden. It’s not online yet, but here’s a related interview. Some of the eyebrow-raising details:

  • Pakistani nuclear scientists have admitted to meeting with bin Laden; it’s not clear if it was during bin Laden’s U.S.-backed Afghan war phase or afterwards
  • The Parliament attackers had a car bomb big enough to kill most of the Indian Parliament. The MPs escaped only by chance, because the Vice Presidential motorcade happened to be blocking the Parliament entrance and the car bomb couldn’t get inside.
  • The U.S. pressured India to back off from retaliating so that Pakistan could supply troops to police the Afghanistan border
  • The U.S. turned down basing rights offered by India during the Afghanistan bombing so as not to offend Pakistan
  • Both countries feel betrayed by the U.S. after the 2002 border standoff: India because Musharraf has reduced but not stopped jihadi groups, and Pakistan because of warming U.S.-India ties
  • Disappointed by the political restraint in 2002, the Indian military has adopted a ‘cold start’ doctrine, a rapid reaction plan that kicks in before the U.S. and Britain start applying pressure; this increases the risk of war
  • American diplomats think India has an imprecise understanding of what would trigger nuclear escalation; it’s in Pakistan’s interest to convey the impression that that threshold is low
  • American analysts think that, like most countries, Pakistan would actually use its nukes if it felt its national survival were threatened
  • Under the U.S. interpretation of the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty, it’s illegal to give nuke safety tech like PALs (coded controllers) to India and Pakistan, even though they reduce the chance of accidental launch
  • The Pakistani military says it follows standard procedures to secure its nukes in central locations; they’re most vulnerable to being hijacked once deployed in the field
  • American analysts estimate both countries have around 100 nukes, and Israel twice that

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Barbarians at the gate

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A surging Indian business sector is shattering longstanding industry norms. In pharma, two Indian companies are in the bidding for a large German pharmaceutical (thanks, Sindhya):

The country’s largest pharmaceutical company, Ranbaxy Laboratories Ltd, is believed to have put in a bid of €500 million (approximately Rs 2,800 crore) for Germany’s fourth largest generic company, Betapharm… This is €50 million more than the bid of €450 million made by Dr Reddy’s Laboratories…

Industry analysts said it was for the first time that two Indian companies had emerged front-runners for a high-value overseas pharmaceutical company. If the deal materialises, it would be the largest ever overseas acquisition by an Indian company in the pharmaceutical space. [Link]

In Bombay, a matrimonial site is rumored to have been funded by one of Silicon Valley’s toniest VCs, Kleiner Perkins (via Om):

InfoEdge, which owns which owns some of India’s hottest Internet properties including the largest job portal Naukri.com… and matrimonial site Jeevan Sathi has got funding from KPCB and Ram Shriram of Sherpalo Ventures. InfoEdge did $10 million last year with profits of $1.8M. [Link]

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Seeing the in-laws

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Another young Indo-Canadian bride was allegedly killed two weeks ago by her in-laws in Punjab:

Rani Sandhu

… [Rani] Sandhu, 22, died Jan. 24 while visiting her husband’s relatives [in Arayanwala, a village in Punjab]… Sandhu’s family was also told she died of a heart attack after throwing up following a bad reaction to an apple. Hours prior to her death, Sandhu called her mother and sister in Winnipeg to say she was throwing up but her husband’s family wouldn’t let her drink any water. Each time the phone call was terminated by her husband. [Link]

Brar and her family believe Rani was killed for the gold jewelry she took on her visit to introduce her daughter to her grandparents. The family believes Rani was beaten to death and cremated quickly to cover up the murder… “I was shocked to see the number of bruises on her neck and shoulders,” Bindar Brar told the Sun. “There was a large bump on her forehead and a big cut on her lip, just like she’d been beaten… The Sandhus are well-connected politically, so the police are not investigating.” [Link]

V.S. Naipaul parodied these repulsive attitudes nearly 50 years ago. Has anything changed?

Leela continued to cry and Ganesh loosened his leather belt and beat her… It was their first beating, a formal affair done without anger on Ganesh’s part or resentment on Leela’s; and although it formed no part of the marriage ceremony itself, it meant much to both of them… Ganesh had become a man; Leela a wife as privileged as any other big woman. Now she too would have tales to tell of her husband’s beatings; and when she went home she would be able to look sad and sullen as every woman should.

The moment was precious… There could be no doubt about it now: they were adults. [Link]

— V.S. Naipaul, The Mystic Masseur, 1957

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Desis in the NFL, Super Bowl edition (updated)

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Brandon Chillar

While Americans watch four hours of ads lightened up with a couple minutes of football, let’s take a look at the desis in the NFL. First up is Brandon Chillar, a St. Louis Rams linebacker whose parents are Indian and white:

After graduating from high school, he played college football in the Pac-10 for the University of California, Los Angeles, where he gained prominence on the Bruin defensive unit. After graduating from UCLA, he joined the Saint Louis Rams in 2004. Having a father, Ram Chillar, of Asian Indian descent, Chillar became one of the handful of Indian Americans or Asian Americans in the NFL. [Link]

Has a well-developed frame with good muscle definition… Also lettered in track, competing in the 100, 200 and triple jump. [Link]

The first thing he wants to buy for himself is a Cadillac Escalade… [Link]

Chillar is 6’3″ (190 cm), 253 lbs. (115 kg) and 23 years old. Before Chillar, there was Sanjay Rajiv Beach, a wide receiver whose parents are Indian and Jamaican:

Sanjay Beach… spent six years in the National Football League as a wide receiver for the San Francisco 49ers, Green Bay Packers, and New York Jets. He now is an investment banker with Dain Bosworth, Inc. in Denver. He and wife Kristy have a 3-year old daughter, Kalpana, and a 6-month old son, Makis. [Link – PDF]

Beach is 6’0″ (183 cm) with a playing weight of 189 lbs. (86 kg). He’s now 39.

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Coconut Express

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The Oriya coconut distribution network reminds me of the tiffinwallas of Bombay (via Boing Boing). It’s a marvel of Indian efficiency:

Smashing coconuts in Malaysia

Hold a coconut in your hand on a highway in Orissa and the next bus will surely stop to pick it up to take it to the temple… Even if the bus is on a different route, the driver will make sure to drop the coconuts in a collection box en route or pass them on to a bus headed for Ghatgaon…

They tell stories of bus drivers who failed to pick up coconuts from devotees and met with engine failures or accidents. “No one can refuse to carry a coconut,” says shop owner Rabindra Patnaik. The buses usually dump their coconuts in collection boxes across the state, from where other buses or devotees headed to the temple pick up them up on their final journey…

At the busy temple, priests take turns to break the coconuts in front of the deity. A few hundred coconuts find the place near the deity’s feet, and the rest of them are sold cheaply to local shop owners. This has spawned a local coconut-based sweets and oil industry. [Link]

Besides religion, desis spread at least two things efficiently: fresh food and hot gossip. It’s no surprise that desis are at the forefront of networking technology. Hey, Internet2? I fart in your general direction.

Billo’s bindi

The Auntie-ji Pre-Crime Network is so fast, it predicts things before they happen and never hesitates to tell you so.

The Coconut Express has also had a huge influence on the rock scene in India. The sad fate of the broken fruit inspired alt.rockers Smashing Coconuts, fronted by lead singer Billo Kurugan. Their hit single ‘Sharaab Rakh‘ was a seminal influence on a new genre called cocotechno, inspiring performers like the No-Sex-Before-Marriage Pistols, the Beejis, Bob Dhillon and Elvis Singh:

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How to befriend a vegetarian

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This anecdote about Google cofounder Sergey Brin is part of a startup PR launch, but it’s interesting. I wonder what the dare was. ‘I cook, you eat’ doesn’t sound like a very interesting bet:

The victim

[Anand] Rajaraman and Harinarayan were co-founders of Junglee, an early Web database company… In 1994, Rajaraman proudly told Brin he’d acquired a new computer with the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Brin… went over to Rajaraman’s apartment and installed Linux… on his computer…

Brin even took on Rajaraman’s practice of eating vegetarian, a family tradition. One evening, Brin went over to Rajaraman’s apartment, baked a fish in his oven, and served it to him with some lemon. Rajaraman ate it. [Link]

Tamarind once served me the lamb version of the paneer dish I ordered, two large, flat white squares. I downed the whole thing thinking it was the worst paneer I’d ever had and didn’t catch on until I saw the bill. Gross.

By the way, your bagels contain an extract from human hair and chicken feathers, your milk contains cattle hormones and pus, your beer was clarified with fish extract, your miso soup may contain fish broth and your Kiwi Strawberry Snapple is colored with a dye from ground beetles. Perfect recycling. I see some aren’t taking this meatitude lying down. Bon appetit!

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