Desi Douche of the Day

Happy Thursday, mutineers! Thanks to Ennis for sharing this jaw-dropping gem with the Mutiny. It brings to mind a couple of questions. First of all, who is this smarmy individual? Why is he wearing two button-down shirts one on top of the other (in clashing colors)? Is he aware of what he’s really saying? (I’m thinking he cobbled a couple of cliches together for a really awkward result.) How long did it take him to write and memorize this Bollywood-gone-wrong type script? Who is this girl that only likes BMWs? How successful was the proposal? It would be hilarious if they were married by now. I’m picturing twin boys wearing two button-downs a-piece riding BMW trikes.

What do you folks think? Cute or creepy? (By the way, “I just want to conclude saying…okay, love doesn’t have a conclusion,” is my new favorite Away message.) It was posted two years ago on Valentine’s Day. Staged or genuine? I would not at all be surprised if it turned out to be real. We’ve all come across guys like these. Okay, at least I have. Ladies, imagine being on the receiving end of this playboy’s attention. Yuck.

71 thoughts on “Desi Douche of the Day

  1. This is an Indian (country not race) teenager (?) – Was the target another Indian girl or a Western girl. Wearing two shirts is rather common in Tamil Nadu – esp amongst auto drivers. Foliage seems rather familiar – is it in Tamil Nadu. He is quite cute.

    Philly – you are viewing this through the eyes of an ABD lass. Yucky to you does not mean that it is yucky to all. Most of the things that Western young men (&women) do is equally yucky.

    It is poor form to mock someone for being different. Different context – different behaviour.

  2. No worse than some dork on chatroulette. I appreciate his comment on not wanting to slit his veins for love. Have you seen some Kollywood movies?

  3. This was mostly who he isn’t and what he’s not going to do. Not going to break his hand, for instance – good idea. I’m looking forward to Part II, to discover our hero’s concrete plan for the future.

  4. Yucky to you does not mean that it is yucky to all.

    i think this is a good point, and one unfortunately too often forgotten on the internet. people perceive things very differently based on prior assumptions & values.

  5. Melbourne desi,

    Yucky to you does not mean that it is yucky to all.

    Yes. Please let me know what is yucky to you before I write something on my blog. I assume you will give me similar privileges on your blog.

  6. Why do you find him “swarmy”? He sounds very earnest to me. He looks like a really young guy who is trying to be straight forward with his girl friend, or potential girl friend,or hypothetical girl friend. “Yuck” is kind of a mean reaction to this guy’s heartfelt pronouncements. I could imagine some girl in India finding him charming.

  7. Seriously, Phillygirl, what’s yucky here? You’ve got to understand that lots of men in India still have issues expressing things, especially in person. Attribute it to taboos in society, conservative upbringing, lack of information on how to interact with women… So this guy seems to have found a way to express something, somehow. In a country where people fall in love the night of the arranged marriage, this guy is way ahead. He’s actually trying to say he’s not possessive, not crazy like some guys are. That he likes her for what she is and will always will even if she’s not gonna be with him. What are you missing here?

  8. wonder what the girl looks like. maybe he can start a website called: “dikshits with hot chicks”

  9. And on his dress sense, OH PLEASE! Ofcourse, one is entitled to opinions, but in matters of taste there is no good or bad. It’s taste. It differs. Have you ever seen Govinda on screen? Or Salman Khan and his colors? How about American teens wearing short-sleeved shirts over long-sleeved t-shirts? How about tattoos and body piercings? One man’s weird/yuck is another man’s culture/taste.

  10. @7 of course it is Tamil Nadu- didn’t you hear him say “naan unnai kadalikkaren”? the people who find it yucky- please make allowance for english being his second language and the fact that candid expressions of pyaar/mohabbat/kadhal/premam etc are still foreign to people in India.
    This is his equivalent to that famous scene where John Cusack holds the boom box up…

  11. Men everywhere have problems expressing themselves, in fact People of all genders have problems expressing themselves.

    i liked the line ” love is for building not breaking” positivity!

  12. Aww I thought it was cute. He’s trying, in his own awkward way to be charming and candid.

  13. Douche… ? Harsh & uncalled for. The guy seems to be honestly trying to express his feelings in a heart felt way. As other have said his clothing style may be what is in style where he lives. Is it it any different from the vacuous kids here with torn jeans and an assortment of steel hardware inserted into various bodily appendages and nonsensical tattoos ? I guess that is “cool”. Unlike 2 shirts.

  14. what a mean spirited article.

    i know who my vote for the desi douche(s) of the day would be. and it isn’t the guy in the video. nasty articles of this sort, imo, says more about the author than the intended victim.

    i am sure there will be elaborate rationalizations and maybe some “it is my blog–i can say what i want–if you dont agree, it is your problem”—but i think all these “eww” and “yucks”s are plain disgusting.

  15. I agree he’s got a bad dress sense….but poking fun at someone’s sincere, private expression of love is in bad taste. I hope this site won’t turn into a forum where ABCDs like you poke fun at people that are not AB.

  16. Hmm, maybe “douche” is a bit harsh….but it seems to me that he’s not really seriously in love with the girl this is for. I mean lines like : “I love you but that doesn’t mean I want you or can’t live without you”…yikes! Not something a girl wants to hear in a marriage proposal.

    And I’m not so convinced this is a language barrier thing either; his English seems pretty decent. He just lacks some creativity. With the language, not with his video proposal idea. Or his shirts.

  17. Yeah, I don’t see exactly what is “douchey” about this video. Corny? Yeah. But douchey?

    The writer of this particular blog must be a SWPL ABCDesi.

    The guy in the video is a typical FOB or DBDesi. He’s not as cool as the SWPL Desis and a little behind on Mocha Latte sipping and “brunch”, but he’s harmless enough.

  18. I LOVE that he admits “You already know that I’ve loved a couple of girls before you” and that he doesn’t flirt with her. But at least he remembers her no matter where he is, even he’s boozing in a pub.

  19. You also have to respect the guy trying a different approach. Other guys tell you all the things they’ll do for you – they’ll kill themselves over you, they’ll jump into a swamp for you, they’ll buy you a BMW – but this guy’s thinking, “Let me tell you all the stuff I won’t do you for you… so you’ll see how I am so different from, and more awesome than, those other guys.”

  20. What a mean woman you are FilthyGirl… are you the one who whines you don’t like guys to use the moniker Phillyboy when you use Phllygrrl? The guy comes across as sincere, perhaps a bit naive/inexperienced. Remember this, you’ll never ever have anyone put themselves out there like this for you because you are not worth it.

  21. “Who is this girl that only likes BMWs? “

    LOL!

    At first I thought of that saying: Every woman needs a BMW. Black Man Working.

  22. Phillygrrl, now that you have posted this article on a relatively popular blog, do you feel happy/proud and assured of your superiority over those poor Indians?

    Anna, is this what you and buddies run this blog for? To make fun of your real Desi brethren and feel smug and happy afterward?

    All said, I am fairly certain the guy in the video will have a much much easier time landing a pretty girl than his counterpart in amreeka, say PhyllyBoy. The indian skin of the buy in the video works to his advantage in India, unlike PhyllyBoy in the USA.

  23. Ah, sociology talk. I have generally found American economists talking about India to make more sense than American politican scientists talking about India, and American political scientists talking about India to generally be smarter than American sociologists. Not kidding. Serious.

  24. Remember this, you’ll never ever have anyone put themselves out there like this for you because you are not worth it.

    Word. Not even by a loooong shot, if they ever read this posting of hers. unless, of course, it is for a one time/one night thing, which might or might not be worth it, depending on phylly girls type

  25. i find this clip extremely interesting, and am curious as to whether it is directed at anyone in particular. i also think this video would have been super in tamil – not only because he may have expressed himself better, but also because this speech seems like it was fashioned after madhavan in alaipayuthe.

    No production value, bhai?

    that’s ‘no production value, anna?’ to you, buddy;)

  26. Anna, is this what you and buddies run this blog for? To make fun of your real Desi brethren and feel smug and happy afterward?

    rhetorical or an earnest one ?

  27. Ladies, imagine being on the receiving end of this playboy’s attention. Yuck.

    Dont be so unkind. I knew someone who used to be, shall we say, of extremely high standards in her teens and 20s. late 20s, standards came down a bit. Gym and careful eating helped keep the standards high even in early 30s. However, the smug high standards prevented settling down’, and after a while losing muscle tone, things going south, and laugh lines ensured that there would not be any easy settling down. Now in her 40s, the character in question would be quite happy to get any attention, and sadly any that come by are from teenagers and young Indian guys who would like to learn driving but upgrade to their own car as soon as they get their licenses..

    just remember that..

  28. aaro:

    Anna, is this what you and buddies run this blog for? To make fun of your real Desi brethren and feel smug and happy afterward

    i find this post repulsive, but please don’t make uncalled-for generalizations based on spite. as for anna—have you even read her posts? if anything, i consider her to be one of the most thoughtful blogger on desi matters.

  29. I think many have lost their sense of humor. I think this is a humorous post. I remember the joke. How to identify a Tamilian? They wear white garments with contrasting undergarments (Tongue in cheek 🙂

  30. Dear Commenters (and Single Poster),

    It is with deep regret that I am writing to confirm what was suspected for sometime, and now is my sad duty to report the death of your sense of irony on this day of April 22, 2010.

    A casualty message was received by this office which states that your grasp of irony died on April 22, 2010 after an extended three minute engagement with humorous enemy forces. It is the understanding of this office that your irony was killed in confrontation with “Propose to Girl !”, and succumbed after the hostile YouTube clip deployed comedic devices beyond your irony’s sufficiency to interrogate.

    The information available to this office suggests that the combination of deadpan, mock vanity, and hyperbolic self-aggrandizement meant originally to laugh at widely disseminated Cassanovan pretensions impressed into the romantically inept and insecure, was ultimately fatal to your sense of irony. The attending medic diagnosed your irony immediately with an imperially derived contempt for accented ‘native’ voices you saw as hostile to a suitably colonized mind and materiality, and contrary to the attainment of white status. Your irony subsequently attempted to diminish the reality of the subject of the ridiculous short by patronizing him, and died immediately and painlessly.

    I know that added distress is caused by failure to receive more information. Unfortunately this report did not contain any further details, but you may be assured that in the event that additional information is received regard your irony’s death, it will be promptly communicated in a form suitably devoid of satire as to be comprehensible to you in your remaining faculties.

    I sincerely regret that this message must bring so much sorrow into your home and my deepest sympathy is with you in your bereavement.

    Sincerely yours,

    Madhushankar L. Witsell Brigadier General Acting Adjutant of the Grave Conduct Militia in Service of Re-Colonization

  31. Capital Y- may I quote you on FB? This is one the funniest responses to anything I have read in a loooong time. Seriously.

    As for the video- a send-up or not- it has an interesting sweetness about it.

    As to Anna and how the blog is run- it’s a cool blog. Anna is a fantastic writer and the administrators are VERY tolerant in general as to who and what gets printed here.

    Yes, irony is dead. Long live-post irony. Self-awareness seems to be languishing as well in some corners.

  32. Ha, ha! What I find slightly disconcerting is his need to express himself in English when he is clearly struggling to find the right word in his limited vocabulary!

  33. The reason this is unfunny, at least to DBDs like me, is that it feels as though you are laughing at his class and lack of opportunity. Maybe there’re are cues that you’re not picking up, but this comes across as pretty mean.

  34. For me, personally, the humor doesn’t have to do with his English (which he speaks very well), his looks (he is pretty cute), his being a DBD, or his being Tamilian, or anything else of that nature. It’s funny to me because a.) Dude is professing his love via an internet video (not exactly intimate/personal – but I’m sure he feels like it’s a grand gesture) b.) It looks scripted to the effect of a guy sitting in a chair, wearing a smoking jacket and an ascot, reading a literary classic, looking up and saying, “Oh, hello. I didn’t see you there.” (Remember the opening joke? You know that one came to him in a stroke of genius.) c.) The way he frames his actual arguments for the superiority of his love for her above others are essentially sweet but funny and d.) Yes, it’s funny to me that he’s wearing two button down shirts regardless of where I come from and where he comes from. Referring to one commenter, if Salman Khan (who I never found attractive) or Govinda (who I only found attractive in the 1980’s), or even a Bollywood star I currently find hot wore two button down shirts, I would think that was funny, too. If that makes me evil, fine.

    Some of you folks need to really lighten up. No, you don’t have to like every post on SM, but some of the commenters were a little too quick to jump from disagreeing as to the humor of the post to attacking the author’s character and making unfounded assumptions about her. There’s no need for being venomous.

  35. There’s no need for being venomous.

    It’s Phillygrrl’s post that is venomous. But you wouldn’t notice that.

  36. This is what happens when Bollywood copies western cliches and then the masses suddenly believe they can do the same. LOL. No that there’s anything wrong with it.