Ah, a post in which I celebrate my beloved Padma’s miracle baby with a wholly apposite indulgence in that ever-so Malayalee pastime: alliteration. Well, in the title, at least. More on “titles”, in a minute.
Unto us, a daughter is given. Krishna Thea Lakshmi was born on Saturday and according to Mama’s spokesperson, “Mother and baby are well and happy.” Congratulations, Padma! No, there is still no word on who the Father is, and to those who are consumed with knowing, I can’t help but ask a futile question, “WHY DO YOU CARE?” Yes, I know she is a public figure and nosiness is to be expected. I am also aware that I’m way biased in her favor, but I’m not defending her right to keep Mum (ha!) because of my proclivity to adore her. Even if she’s a celebrity, I believe in her right to keep certain things for and to herself. You want to know who made that dress she rocked in front of the Step and Repeat (see: picture to the right)? Totally understandable. You want to know whose baby juice was up in her plumbing? WHY? Ugh.
Now about those “titles”…in my preparation for the production of this post, I saw plenty of them, most of which were innocuous, if not eye roll-inducing or superficial:
“Padma Lakshmi Welcomes Miracle Baby Girl!” [E!]
“The Bun Is Out of Padma’s Oven!” [Not the New Yorker, the other one]
“Padma Lakshmi Has a Daughter, Ensuring That There Will Be Hot Chefs in the Future” [Celebuzz]
And then, there was the inevitable lameness:
“Hairy Krishna! Padma Bestows Baby Girl Upon the World” [Village Voice]
Really, Village Voice? The child is two days old. I’m sure she, like thousands of other babies is covered in lanugo. I get that you were attempting to be clever but why go there in your attempt to reference Hare Krishnas (I think that’s what you were trying to do?). Maybe my kundi is especially chapped because brown girls have enough follicular drama at (or even before) puberty with which to contend; I’d hope that newborns might be spared from such insults. Think I’m overreacting? Endure a bikini wax and then get back to me. “Hairy” is not to be bandied about lightly, damn it. But the wit continues:> This past Saturday night, as the earth continued its inexorable turn around its axis, Padma Lakshmi brought forth a baby girl named Krishna into the world. Like her mother, the infant is also named after a Hindu deity (although Krishna is a god, not a goddess): Undoubtedly, she will also attract plenty of worship from paparazzi and Top Chef acolytes alike. [Village Voice]
Yes, Krishna is a God and not a Goddess. Sofa king what? As far as I know, the name is unisex; I’ve met people of both genders called Krishna. Just to be sure I wasn’t high all of those times, I asked as much on Twitter and several of you confirmed it (thanks, Renu, Sid, Naresh and Funkaoshi!). One of SM’s first readers even enlightened me with this tweet:
I would spell it with two a’s at the end. but Krishnaa is the true name of Draupadi, Queen of the Pandavas, in the Mahabharat [link]
Drunk off the power of twitter and the satisfaction derived from instant answers, I asked another question: “Is (naming a girl Krishna) a regional thing, i.e. more likely in South?”. I heard from several mutineers who said that it’s common in the North, especially among Gujaratis. I was puzzled. Padma had said that she would be choosing a Sanskrit name for her child and that the baby would be named after a family member. I thought her peeps were Tamil, Malayalee or both? Before a wrinkle could crease my brow, via magical twitter, again, the answer; “It’s a Southie/Kerala/Pallakad thing”. Brava. May baby Krishna Thea be blessed with such smart and helpful cousin-sisters and brothers as I have been (yeah, I think of you as family. Enjoy a warm fuzzy, on me).