Man Builds Shed

Everyone (well every guy I know) seems to be talking about the Walden-esque profile of former TARP Czar Neel Kashkari in Sunday’s Washington Post. The article/profile is a thing to behold. More a short story than article really. It is difficult to ascertain whether the author is satirizing an Icarus-like fall from grace with her ridiculously over-the-top description of Kashkari’s self-exile into the woods, or whether she is being earnest. If the former, “bravo” I say. You have brilliantly portrayed our South Asian male, 30s-mid-life-crisis angst. If the latter, then…well, where to begin? The stubble would be a good place. A man’s stubble, more often than not, has a good story behind it:

He wears no coat though it’s freezing, shines no light though it’s near midnight, carries no shotgun though he’s tramping on the pine-needled tracks of black bears….

The moon hits his stubble, which is six days old. And the sweater he hasn’t changed in three or four days. His BlackBerry — he can’t kick it — rang once today. A year ago in D.C., it buzzed every few seconds. All night, he’d roll over to its bluish glow. His Treasury Department assistant slept with hers, powered up, on her pillow. [Link]

The article goes on to describe a young and gung-ho aerospace enginerd, who first goes into the heart of Wall Street, and then on to Oz (a.k.a. Washington D.C.) with his powerful mentor. They had me hooked at the aerospace enginerd part. Kashkari is a man we can all get behind. He is the everyman in a $700 billion story. But our hero begins to learn that Oz is nothing but a shimmering illusion and all the knives are soon drawn upon him:

Congress savaged him. Wall Street Journal editorials doubted him. His home-town buddies urged him to use the money to buy the Cleveland Browns and fire the coaches. His wife spoke to him so rarely, she described them as “dead to each other.” He lost sleep, gained weight and saw a close adviser, Don Hammond, suffer a heart attack at his Treasury desk. On May 1, after serving seven months under Presidents Bush and Obama, he resigned. [Link]

He resigned. And that is where our real story begins. Neel decides to write down four “non-amorphous” tasks that he can accomplish while cloistered away in the California woods with his loving wife and some bears (according to circumstantial evidence the journalist points to). As you will see, these tasks are heavy on the Hercules and easy on the Sisyphus (for a change of pace).

1. Build shed

2. chop wood

3. lose 20 pounds

4. help with Hank’s [Paulson] book

[No joke: inspired by Neel I started a similar list this morning. It is very personal so I don’t plan on sharing it except that one of the items had to do with winning my fantasy football league championship].

Neel, if you are reading this, instead of helping with Hank’s book I strongly urge you to write your own. The new classic of our time: “Zen and the Art of Shed Building.” I would buy it.

Please don’t misunderstand. I really do feel for Neel and am on his side here. I am sure many of us can relate to him: overachieving South Asian “gunners” who want a taste of power, but not at any cost. The Man takes advantage of us and then attacks us when he has sucked us dry. All too familiar. More than the article, it is the haunting photos accompanying the article that are the real treat. In fact, I would just put the article on mute and view the photos in silence, perhaps with your honey on the couch next to you. Make up your own story that goes with the pictures, explaining why this young brown couple is living in the woods, looking so serious. It would be great practice for you creative writers out there. I confess that I tried this little writing exercise…but it turned kind of dark. I imagined Neel and Minal were in the novel The Road by Cormac McCarthy. With only their two big dogs to protect them.

And speaking of Minal, co-blogger Phillygrrl said to me:

“Holy crap, he sure pulled a Thoreau. Lucky for him his wife is so supportive.”

And my good buddy added:

He did find an indian chick cool enough to live in the woods with him and build a shed. can you all imagine being like- “yeah- if you don’t mind, we’re gonna go live in the woods for 6 months and chop wood. you might get eaten by a bear, but otherwise, should be cool. love you!”

It sounds strange, but that is almost verbatim how my brother convinced his (now) wife to marry him.

84 thoughts on “Man Builds Shed

  1. “The moon hits his stubble, which is six days old. And the sweater he hasn’t changed in three or four days”

    perhaps the author of the article has been reading Cormac McCarthy’s The Road.

  2. Great post but I don’t understand why there are so many negative comments against him in the Washington Post comments section, I am hoping it has nothing to do with his ethnicity.

    He did find an indian chick cool enough to live in the woods with him and build a shed

    Agreed, If you are really smart you can find great Indian chicks

  3. The article is a bit more puffy than necessary, and gives an impression not of an idealistic person who is taking time out from DC, but of a shrewd person who’s building a faux rustic chic cottage in California, biding his time until California real estate prices jump up again by writing a book about his experiences. That may not be Kashkari’s real aim, but the article is softer than Jay Leno with a nerf pillow, and makes one… wonder.

  4. faux rustic chic

    What does this mean? Don’t you mean “faux rustic” or “rustic chic”? I mean, it is rustic and chic, nothing “faux” about it. I’d kill to spend time with Neel there!

  5. Kashkari already has a new job with PIMCO in Newport Beach

    I know where I’m vacationing next time I hop the Pond!

  6. I hear the drum roll for Hank dearest’s book. (Oh, if poor Neel suffered so much, how much did our Hank suffer?) Verily arises Saint Paulson, await the revelation of his miracles.

    Once roadkill, always roadkill.

  7. I believe this is called Going Kaczynski. I await Stinku Varadarajan’s article about this in the WSJ.

  8. Apparently, he didn’t get the memo from Dubya. The brush clearing was supposed to be only for show.

  9. Rahul, if you’re still upset about Dubya, I can recommend a few tribal areas in Pakistan you might prefer to live in.

  10. Rahul, if you’re still upset about Dubya, I can recommend a few tribal areas in Pakistan you might prefer to live in.

    Finally. It’s been 50 years, but we’ve found a modern replacement for “Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.” Glory be!

  11. we’ve found a modern replacement for “Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.”

    Just try to go to these areas I’m recommending–you will be dead before you have time to reflect on the “meaningless” of my comment.

  12. Photograph # 7: “Newsome, one of the Kashkaris’ two Newfoundland, gnaws at a gigantic pine cone. The rugged breed is known for being extremely loving, gentle and has strong rescue instincts.

    Wow, that is so like his master, right?

  13. Makes sense that a guy who believed in TARP would chop wood before building the shed.

    🙂

    Anyway, tell us more about this midlife crisis. I think I’m having one.

  14. G@19, I did make it to the end of the article, just to see what the conclusion was. I find it interesting that the journalist failed to report about Kashkari’s upcoming employment. If this is the drivel that a national newspaper provides, I’m scared for all of us.

  15. He did find an indian chick cool enough to live in the woods with him and build a shed. can you all imagine being like- “yeah- if you don’t mind, we’re gonna go live in the woods for 6 months and chop wood. you might get eaten by a bear, but otherwise, should be cool. love you!”

    Just proves that you really can find somebody that will stick by you through thick and thin! An amazing story, thank you for posting this Abhi!

  16. Pimco is nothing more than a lair of whores whose lips are firmly attached to political Johns where public money serves as the lucre to grease their filthy transactions. That Kashkari is now joining them is just another sign of the incestuous financial-government nexus whose goal is to pauperize the majority of Americans while enriching a new breed of Medici. It would be better for everyone around if he were truly devoured by a bear.

  17. Damn! How jilted must Kashkari feel that he took a giant ax to the Woods? Even Elin just used a club…

  18. that will stick by you through thick and thin! An amazing story

    205 lbs to a mean 180! It’s a miracle!

  19. Kash is in an interesting position. TARP has been a rollicking success,not only saving us from a great depression but also effectively ending the recession. Yet everyone hates it. Teabaggers think its socialism while progressives see it as crony capitalism. Both think its welfare for the rich. But yet its not. Poor little James Canye and Ace Greenburg lost fortunes while we taxpayer rake in a nice 25% return on our Goldman investment. that doesn’t sound like welfare. or perhaps it’s the new fangled neoliberal welfare-to work stuff like micro-lending. lets call it macro-lending.

    So Kash goes to the woods as the unrecognized great man. Obama my join him soon.

  20. while we taxpayer rake in a nice 25% return on our Goldman investment

    The amount of money left on the table in the bailouts is staggering. Por ejemplo. And this is not even to mention how much non-immediate financial leverage (for example, cooperation for regulation) was just surrended without a fight. Of course, Kashkari doesnt’ deserve to take the fall for this, he was just the bagman. Geithner, Paulson et. al. are the ones who are instrumental, and it is a travesty.

  21. Obama my join him soon.

    He might yet get lucky, but if he doesn’t, he brought it upon himself by wussing out on the stimulus and contributing to the ridiculous unemployment numbers.

  22. James Canye and Ace Greenburg lost fortunes

    That should be Hank Greenburg of AIG. Ace wisely sold his bear stock years ago.

  23. it is a travesty.

    So the guy leaves money on the table that our current prez can use to do other things with, decides to prevent the house from burning down rather than delay in order to get concessions from wall st; all this results in us avoiding a depression and indeed getting us out of a recesson and you call it a travesty.

  24. He might yet get lucky, but if he doesn’t, he brought it upon himself by wussing out on the stimulus and contributing to the ridiculous unemployment numbers.

    so your hanging your hat on a lagging economic indicator the rate of which happens to be declining.

  25. So the guy leaves money on the table that our current prez can use to do other things with, decides to prevent the house from burning down rather than delay in order to get concessions from wall st; all this results in us avoiding a depression and indeed getting us out of a recesson and you call it a travesty.

    Really, Manju? This is the story you’re going with? Delay in order to get concessions? What chips did Wall St have? They would’ve folded if these people had bargained with any degree of conviction.

    so your hanging your hat on a lagging economic indicator the rate of which happens to be declining.

    As I said, he might still get lucky. The 10% plus through the better half of next year was long predicted, as was the need for a bigger stimulus. As I said, he might get lucky with an unexpected early decline if this month’s numbers are a predictor of a trend, but otherwise, the Dems will take a big hit next year.

  26. What chips did Wall St have?

    My understanding is that the counterparties were in a preferred position if AIG went BK, so they saw no reason to take a haircut except perhaps avoiding the systmeic risk involved in an AIG bankruptcy…but the US govt has more to lose in that scenario. ergo, the leverage unlike say the creditors of the automakers. plus, the US doesn’t really care if automakers go kaput, they don’t serve the general public like banking does. banking is different, the entire economy depends on it, so that gives them some leverage.

  27. The 10% plus through the better half of next year was long predicted, as was the need for a bigger stimulus.

    Look, there’s hardly any scenario that would cause krugman to admit he’s wrong. thats just the nature of economics. if the stimulus failed krugman could just say we needed more of it, as opposed to saying keynesianism didn’t work. if it succeeded, as it has, he could always point to some area that could’ve been better, which he’s doing, and go around saying “look, i was right, we needed more.”

  28. btw – is it typical for the ‘deep woods’ to have network connectivity. just surprised the guy was berrying from the retreat, and who brings crystal to the cottage. insert smug look we keed. good guy. am proud of desi and happy he has peace.

    “Holy crap, he sure pulled a Thoreau.

    while i typically agree with phllygrll.. thoreau was a faker. insert smug look

  29. And the sweater he hasn’t changed in three or four days

    LOL. no guy would write that or be surprised by that.

  30. The timing of the article and PIMCO announcement can’t be a conincidence. This is a typical propoganda firms indulge in when they want to boost the street cred of a new incoming executive.

  31. Could it be that form he is filling in the picture above is the PIMCO job application?

  32. while i typically agree with phllygrll.. thoreau was a fake

    so’s kashkari 🙂 phillygirl and you might yet agree.

  33. as opposed to saying keynesianism didn’t work.

    see when UChicagoans actually bother to read Keynes, they concede that it works.

  34. Pimco is nothing more than a lair of whores whose lips are firmly attached to political Johns where public money serves as the lucre to grease their filthy transactions.

    Pimpco

  35. The most interesting part of the article was that Kashkari didn’t know Paulson during GS days. Sounds kind of unusual for Paulson to rely so much on someone he didn’t know.

  36. there is something very satisfying with just hanging out in the woods and building things with your own hands.

    I think, as humans, we really get a kind of sukh from this life (of course, the luxury to be without the want and troubles of economic hardships makes it even more satisfying, I’m sure!)

    I think that is one of the reasons so many modern city people who are “doing stuff” at work that is either part of a larger whole they don’t get to see, or something less tangible end up often feeling that sort of loss and lonliness… they can’t see the fruits of their own labor, and they also are not using their body physically (unless they go to the gym, which is not towards building or making something external)

    Of course, exploring the “old world” lifestyle of, say. crossstitching, building sheds, making yarn, etc seems to be quite popular among many young educated city folk I know these days.

  37. He did find an indian chick cool enough to live in the woods with him and build a shed

    hmmm that’s another loose end to the story. whatever cabin m. kashkari built, i would be tres surprised if he laid down the wiring and put in the plumbing all by hisself. if so i would be very surprised if the outhouse is more than a hole in the ground and an aloe vera plant. and no woman, indian or otherwise, would use that willingly especially after it gets frosty [men would but that’s why we’z single]. and i just dont see madam or misstah kashkari walking out with a plastic ring and a tp roll everytime they need to go. there’s something black in the lentils.

  38. walking out with a plastic ring and a tp roll everytime

    or with a lota for that matter. mlid

  39. When I read this article I kept thinking of this de Niro in the The Mission and hearing Morricone’s music. C’mon go there with me.

    I’m thinking he’s going through some serious remorse – call it a midlife crisis, whathaveya, but how cool is Minal?! Solid!

  40. I dont know what everyone else takes from the article, but I see a guy who wanted it all(typical I-banker mentality) and he bit off more than he could chew and had a slight breakdown.

    The end

    And anyone who watched “The Wire” would know that a politician would give you a high five in private and take you down in front of the media for his own gain.