Man Builds Shed

Everyone (well every guy I know) seems to be talking about the Walden-esque profile of former TARP Czar Neel Kashkari in Sunday’s Washington Post. The article/profile is a thing to behold. More a short story than article really. It is difficult to ascertain whether the author is satirizing an Icarus-like fall from grace with her ridiculously over-the-top description of Kashkari’s self-exile into the woods, or whether she is being earnest. If the former, “bravo” I say. You have brilliantly portrayed our South Asian male, 30s-mid-life-crisis angst. If the latter, then…well, where to begin? The stubble would be a good place. A man’s stubble, more often than not, has a good story behind it:

He wears no coat though it’s freezing, shines no light though it’s near midnight, carries no shotgun though he’s tramping on the pine-needled tracks of black bears….

The moon hits his stubble, which is six days old. And the sweater he hasn’t changed in three or four days. His BlackBerry — he can’t kick it — rang once today. A year ago in D.C., it buzzed every few seconds. All night, he’d roll over to its bluish glow. His Treasury Department assistant slept with hers, powered up, on her pillow. [Link]

The article goes on to describe a young and gung-ho aerospace enginerd, who first goes into the heart of Wall Street, and then on to Oz (a.k.a. Washington D.C.) with his powerful mentor. They had me hooked at the aerospace enginerd part. Kashkari is a man we can all get behind. He is the everyman in a $700 billion story. But our hero begins to learn that Oz is nothing but a shimmering illusion and all the knives are soon drawn upon him:

Congress savaged him. Wall Street Journal editorials doubted him. His home-town buddies urged him to use the money to buy the Cleveland Browns and fire the coaches. His wife spoke to him so rarely, she described them as “dead to each other.” He lost sleep, gained weight and saw a close adviser, Don Hammond, suffer a heart attack at his Treasury desk. On May 1, after serving seven months under Presidents Bush and Obama, he resigned. [Link]

He resigned. And that is where our real story begins. Neel decides to write down four “non-amorphous” tasks that he can accomplish while cloistered away in the California woods with his loving wife and some bears (according to circumstantial evidence the journalist points to). As you will see, these tasks are heavy on the Hercules and easy on the Sisyphus (for a change of pace).

1. Build shed

2. chop wood

3. lose 20 pounds

4. help with Hank’s [Paulson] book

[No joke: inspired by Neel I started a similar list this morning. It is very personal so I don’t plan on sharing it except that one of the items had to do with winning my fantasy football league championship].

Neel, if you are reading this, instead of helping with Hank’s book I strongly urge you to write your own. The new classic of our time: “Zen and the Art of Shed Building.” I would buy it.

Please don’t misunderstand. I really do feel for Neel and am on his side here. I am sure many of us can relate to him: overachieving South Asian “gunners” who want a taste of power, but not at any cost. The Man takes advantage of us and then attacks us when he has sucked us dry. All too familiar. More than the article, it is the haunting photos accompanying the article that are the real treat. In fact, I would just put the article on mute and view the photos in silence, perhaps with your honey on the couch next to you. Make up your own story that goes with the pictures, explaining why this young brown couple is living in the woods, looking so serious. It would be great practice for you creative writers out there. I confess that I tried this little writing exercise…but it turned kind of dark. I imagined Neel and Minal were in the novel The Road by Cormac McCarthy. With only their two big dogs to protect them.

And speaking of Minal, co-blogger Phillygrrl said to me:

“Holy crap, he sure pulled a Thoreau. Lucky for him his wife is so supportive.”

And my good buddy added:

He did find an indian chick cool enough to live in the woods with him and build a shed. can you all imagine being like- “yeah- if you don’t mind, we’re gonna go live in the woods for 6 months and chop wood. you might get eaten by a bear, but otherwise, should be cool. love you!”

It sounds strange, but that is almost verbatim how my brother convinced his (now) wife to marry him.

84 thoughts on “Man Builds Shed

  1. South Asian male, 30s-mid-life-crisis angst?

    I thought mid-life crises usually happen 10 or 15 years later? It’s funny when you have your hands on a crapload of money at 35, it’s considered young, but when you burn out it’s considered middle-aged…

  2. What are you guys talking about Indian chicks? It was my wife brought this news item to my attention and and it was she who suggested that we need to do something for a bit.

  3. If he was a real macho man, Neel would go to Alaska. There he could wrestle all the bears he wants, chop as much wood as he desires, and live in a cabin without running water, and an outhouse for his bodily needs. That picture of his cabin’s interior shows he is living too well and comfortably. Not so tough, after all. Or maybe he could run in the 2010 Iditarod Dogsled Race, that would make him a real toughie.

  4. Puzzled why so much venom is being directed at Kashkari. Has he done something objectionable ? Or is the thought of a desi who hasn’t drunk some leftwing kool-aid annoying all by itself ?

  5. Or is the thought of a desi who hasn’t drunk some leftwing kool-aid annoying all by itself ?

    Please, don’t try to introduce the same old left vs. right crap into this thread because that isn’t the focus here. The vast majority of comments have nothing to do with this. This comment just seems like you are fishing for conflict.

  6. What are you guys talking about Indian chicks? It was my wife brought this news item to my attention and and it was she who suggested that we need to do something for a bit.

    I know, there are plenty of Indian “chicks” who would love live in the woods and build a shed. I doubt his is a “shed” anyway- the toilets cannot be any worse than those on the Howrah Mail…

  7. “Pimco is nothing more than a lair of whores”

    Why bring Tiger into this..though seriously the PIMCO thing will get ugly

  8. Isnt this kind of thing “sexy” in the money world?

    To be high strung from work to the point that it almost kills you and then you live it up for a few great months out of the year and back to the stress of working 20 hours a day? Everyone who even thinks about getting into that line of work, knows the stories and I think it is kind of glamorous to those who enter it.

    Like every potential doctor knows the “I live at the hospital” stories about early doctor life, but I think every med school student deep down cant wait for that even though it sounds like a pain.

  9. Please, don’t try to introduce the same old left vs. right crap into this thread because that isn’t the focus here.

    Well, it seemed the only plausible explanation for this skewering of Kashkari.

  10. Well, it seemed the only plausible explanation for this skewering of Kashkari.

    Nahhhh–they’re just jealousu–of his looks, $$, talent, etc. Me? I’m jealous too–of Minal!!

  11. Well, it seemed the only plausible explanation for this skewering of Kashkari.

    Huh? Remember AIG? The entire “great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity”,thing? The comments here are actually rather tame compared to the ones on Washington Post. (check them out if you want to see what a real skewering looks like.

    Right Vs Left has nothing to do with it. Kashkari may a be a really nice bloke, but he acted to protect and preserve a financial system that had done a lot of damage to society.

    The photos of his vacation home and that his months long vacation, unfortunately, underline that he personally had benefited pretty well, from the system he protected.

    Folks are not pleased that the banks that were given billions of taxpayer money are now giving themselves huge bonuses. It stinks too much of a Kleptocracy. At the end of the day,everyone from the average Joe to Nobel laureates are asking why the heck did were these banks given so much money without enough strings attached, and unfortunately Kashkari, as Paulson’s right hand man makes for a pretty good target.

    The fact that he quit abruptly under stress does not help either. No one likes a quitter.

  12. Nahhhh–they’re just jealousu–of his looks, $$, talent, etc.

    Who exactly is jealous of Kashkari’s looks? He looks like a brown version of Kojak. No one was ever jealous of Kojak’s looks.

  13. Hmmm, so Kashkari will jump from being the guy responsible for implementing the US govts TARP to working for a German-owned investment company; and his boss at PIMCO will be the egyptian-born CEO Mohamed El-Erian. Thats globalization for you.

  14. Blokes.. there are plenty of desi women ready to tough it out in a cabin in the woods like the one the Kashkaris live in. Are you ready to build/buy one??

  15. there are plenty of desi women ready to tough it out in a cabin in the woods like the one the Kashkaris live in. Are you ready to build/buy one??

    yeah, right… daddys princess wouldnt want to stay in a cabin…

  16. Kashkari is a failure. No one expected stunning results overnight. Just because he put in a few months of sleepless nights does not make him a hero. He QUIT, end of story.

  17. TTCusm,

    What do the beliefs that his father holds have to do with him? Absolutely nothing. I don’t think being a TARP Czar is somehow connected to Neal’s religion. Had his father been a member of any other religion (than Hindu) would you be making the same comparisons?

  18. Kashkari is pretty much the male version of Kaavya Viswanathan minus the dishonesty. His connections and elite background put him in the limelight for 20 seconds. But just like her, he was not qualified for the job & had to save face by bailing out (at least, unlike her, he left gracefully). Other than Kal Penn & Russel Peters, are there any Desis who can steal the limelight without resorting to debauchery?

  19. What do the beliefs that his father holds have to do with him? Absolutely nothing. I don’t think being a TARP Czar is somehow connected to Neal’s religion. Had his father been a member of any other religion (than Hindu) would you be making the same comparisons?

    Yeah, clearly he’s not a fascist…he’s a czarist.

  20. Bitter much?

    not bitter. i just dont liek unrealistic statements about nice suburban grls staying in cabins…

  21. Sounds like he didn’t bite her at all.

    sure he did. just not in a cabin… more like prada and high heels than cabins..

  22. I wonder how he was qualified for the job? He seems to have been a low-to-mid level IB at Goldman without any other achievements. And he got the job because he called up Hank? Talk about cronyism.