Another Tasteful Post

Yesterday, the blog Jezebel wrote about the product of all products: a special “mint” for all you lovely ladies out there. But this particular tasty treat doesn’t necessarily have to remain in your mouth… “Think of it as an Altoid for your lady parts or, as its website explains, “A small, naturally sweetened flavoring, free of artificial dyes, which was created to flavor the secretions of a woman when she is…”Whoops, sorry! I got censored by the SM aunties. You’ll just have to visit the NSFW link for more information. But what’s the desi angle, you ask? Or is this just another self-indulgent sex post?Turns out this product, which is appropriately (or not) named “Linger” includes the most brilliant marketing campaign I’ve seen to date. It takes the exotic-Indian-man-angle, a sure crowd pleaser. (My theory is Jen Kwok is behind this spiel.)The product’s website tells the sensual story of how Linger became introduced to the unwashed masses in the Western hemisphere:

On a first time trip into the heart of India, I fell instantly for a soft spoken, aristocratic man. He was tall, built, and well dressed. His voice was deep and husky, his eyes dark and intense, his skin the color of caramel. He spoke in precise words; his accent adding a musical quality. We spent hours together, which turned into days, then weeks…

This brings to mind a couple of questions. (“Who is this man and where can I find him?” are not among those questions because my mom reads this site and if you’re reading this post mom, let’s talk purity & proposals later, okay?) A commenter on the post says it best, “I’m surprised no one’s mentioned the “exoticism” angle to this pitch–a woman (presumably white) goes to India and picks up a “caramel”-skinned lover. Because third world countries totally exist for our enjoyment, ya know?”

Oh, but they do, dear commenter, they do. Everyone loves them a caramel-skinned-man, right? Right? To learn more about this man, check out the product’s original website which is very, very not safe for work.

And those mints? I would read the disclaimer very carefully if I were you. The words “yeast infection” were mentioned. As for the actual origins of this exotic Indian tasty treat? Sorry to disappoint you, but they’re not from India, they’re made in Jersey. Hmm, could the story be referring to Edison, New Jersey, India? I heard those brothers down the turnpike are real smooth…

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29 thoughts on “Another Tasteful Post

  1. . that is the most bizarre story I’ve ever heard… who was this weird dude shoving mints into lady gardens without forewarning?

  2. Living in Chicago, there are many 1st to 3rd generation-ers but also many newer students from India - you know the look – plaid shirt tucked into the jeans, fuzzy moustache, moppy hair – they tend to travel in packs or pairs – play cricket wherever they can find a green space (even if it is a park where dogs poop – used to see this from my South Loop apmt).

    So my question is – what if some curious white (or any non-Indian) lady bought into the whole mystical, caramel skinned indian lover trope and went for it – but chose one of these indian, FOB, engineering student types – hilarity ensues ?

  3. So my question is – what if some curious white (or any non-Indian) lady bought into the whole mystical, caramel skinned indian lover trope and went for it – but chose one of these indian, FOB, engineering student types – hilarity ensues ?

    please mail me in private. i have a bottle of coke and a pack of mentos I want to urgently deposit in one of your orifices. your loving fob.

  4. What I meant was – a park that is mainly used for dog walking (as it is the only piece of undeveloped green space in the area). I commend them for their efforts and they tried to play mainly in the non-grass areas – but always felt it was a bit dangerous chasing the ball around a minefield.

  5. “but always felt it was a bit dangerous chasing the ball around a minefield.”

    well atleast as true FOBs they will always remember to leave their shoes stacked outside int he hall instead of wearing them into the house. ;)

  6. [still trying to figure out the conversation between linzi and gurmando. are they talking about what i think they're talking about?]

    on that note… statutory warning… more than yeast, there’s throat cancer to worry about.

  7. [still trying to figure out the conversation between linzi and gurmando. are they talking about what i think they're talking about?]

    khoofi, same here. Please do let me know, once you figure it out!

    GurMando and LinZi, not so tasteful comments on a post with title “Another Tasteful Post”. WOW, seriously WOW!

  8. I am glad this mints came about because I have really sensitive taste buds that can cause a bad gag reflex.

  9. there’s no rule saying you have to play on the grass but thats where the wicket sticks best. fobs have it right. otherwise you have to hold the wicket up yourself and who wants to do that? maybe abds? probably thats why they’re c.

  10. i suspect all the indian immigrants using this product are just trying to prove their americaness. after all, de-scent is the hightest form of patriotism.

  11. Gur Mando,

    I commend them for their efforts and they tried to play mainly in the non-grass areas – but always felt it was a bit dangerous chasing the ball around a minefield.

    As Slumdog Millionaire so elegantly and accurately depicted for the benefit and education of desis worldwide, diving into excreta is a rite of passage for these FOBs while growing in up in the slums that most of them come from. They do it to overcome obstacles in the path of their true passions, as bets for cash or dare, and for routine commute to the call centers where most of them work at some point in their lives. So it is not a big deal for them.

    You know the look – plaid shirt tucked into the jeans, fuzzy moustache, moppy hair – they tend to travel in packs or pairs

    Cut them some slack. The main purpose of their stay in the US after all is to improve themselves by emulating superior human beings, who though outwardly similar to them in appearance, have traits that elevate them in the social and evolutionary order. Soon, they would stop tucking in their shirts, shave off their moustaches, get real American hair cuts, and even start speaking with the correct accents. Some of them will even stand alone in their balconies and look disapprovingly at new FOBs having fun in the park. Things would be great for them after their transformation. Airports will be a breeze,(non Indian)chicks would fall over themselves to go out with them, and nobody would call them a macaca anymore.

  12. From the web site

    He kissed me with a smile, entering me again with his finger. In the next second he pulled his finger from me and sucked it into his mouth. I was caught off guard when he kissed me deeply tasting of paneer sabzi… delicious! He looked into my eyes then and said softly, “Now, let me Linger!” That was the beginning of a long-lasting love affair.
  13. Fob Ftory – great response; I was just being silly.

    This reminds me of a scene in the production of Yoni Ki Baat I saw this year – an Indian Vagina Monologues. They had a scene called My Yoni tastes like Desi Yoni about a girl discussing her ‘taste’. Very funny.

    Maybe they could market this to Indian lesbians as well :)

  14. As a Canadian – this has got me thinking. Maybe I’ll come up with my own Maple syrup flavored brand ! (Patent pending)

  15. As a Canadian – this has got me thinking. Maybe I’ll come up with my own Maple syrup flavored brand ! (Patent pending)

    must. control. thoughts. about beavertail, paan and chaat…

    btw the comments on jezebel are pretty funny. :-) thanks phllygril.

  16. It is “a hint of mint”, and not where this product goes.

    Maybe this recommendation has its origins in Kamasutra, which would explain the caramel.

  17. I don’t know, I’m kind of pleasantly amused. It’s been my experience that Indians don’t usually get to play the “sexy exotic foreigner” in Western fantasies. I’d like to note that the writer took pains to note that the Indian Lingerer was “aristocratic.”

    Anyway, it’s a great innovation, since I’ve been using peppermints and cough drops for far too long now.

    Lastly, I’d like to point out that my anti-spam entry word was “brown.”

  18. they tend to travel in packs or pairs

    Agreed, great observation skills GurMando.

    Somehow the Caramel magic is not working for me and my friends, although we hangout at the chic pubs (in packs!). I will try dressing as an aristocratic desi next!

  19. arreeey yaar, i was just responding to gurMando’s comments about FOBs with a bit o’ tongue in cheek humor, and s/he was responding likewise (er, I believe).

  20. Well, they do say vegetarians taste better.

    As far as FOB’s… don’t hate, appreciate.

    They can be some of the most romantic dudes ever. They’ve not been used, abused and jaded yet. They are literally “fresh” and eager to please.

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