Live-blogging Anil Kapoor on LIVE With Regis and Kelly

This post really doesn’t require an introduction after THAT title, but I’ll include one anyway, to answer your question(s) (which I’m already receiving via Facebook* and Twitter), preemptively.

Q: Why didn’t you tell us this craziness was going to be on?? Now it’s too late to record it!
A: I didn’t tell you this fustercluck would be airing because I didn’t know anything about it. I have long considered LIVE With Regis and Kelly to be a rather annoying TV program which rarely features anything I’m interested in– and I love the Today Show, so I’m not exactly difficult to please. Since I never watch the show…I had no way to know.

I’m at home, at my Mom’s house, and while I was getting ready to go out, I thought I’d watch the “third hour” of Today; in DC, we get all four hours of the show, so I assumed that it might be on here, as well. When I turned on the television, I heard unfamiliar theme music and mentions of Regis…and just when I was about to turn the set off, I heard, “Anil Kapoor!” being announced. “Oh. Because of Slumdog,” I thought.

Now I had a choice to make. I could do the responsible thing and finish my breakfast so that I would not be late for my full slate of appointments in the city today…or I could frantically pause the show, twitter a rhetorical question about whether I should blog it for SM and make coffee while pondering all of the above. When I returned to my iBook, I had my answer, as delivered by the pleas of several of you to not let this opportunity go by unblogged. Well, so much for making my appointments!

“Our next guest is one of the most successful and popular actors in Indian film history and has been blowing away audiences with his role as a game show host– a role that is near and dear to me– it’s in the hot movie ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ which is nominated now for ten Oscars…now please welcome– Aneel Kapore!”

M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes” starts playing and the man walks out. I curse the remote for not being as useful as Comcast’s (never, ever did I think I’d type the words “useful as Comcast” btw) is, back home. I miss the “30 seconds back” button something fierce. I’m already having second thoughts about this. ;)

“Kapore” strides out in a suit and light-colored tie like he’s got tickets to the gun show…and by that I mean that he’s doing the “I am victorious!”-arm-thing. He immediately growls something like, “Hey!” and proceeds to grope Regis via a bear hug which lifts Reeg off the ground. Let me type that again: Anil Kapoor has just bear-hugged Regis, whose feet are dangling in the air. Wait! It gets better! Kapoor is now spinning him around, as his co-host, Kelly Ripa, cackles gleefully and claps like a seal. Regis, who is shaken, then grabs Kelly, growls at her and spins HER around, and by doing so imitates Kapoor while reclaiming some of his threatened manhood. Or something. Kapoor is delighted at what he done started. Regis turns back to shake Kapoor’s hand and Kelly steps up to air-kiss him on both cheeks. They settle in to the most awkward-looking chairs/stools on daytime television.

“OH BOY!”, Regis exclaims. Kelly points out that Regis is going to “suffer tomorrow, just so you know” for his foolish act of hugging and spinning-bravado. As if wiry little Kelly weighs more than a buck-o-five. Anil can’t stop smiling. I wish he would shave; I hate the meesha** AND stubble look. Anil is now waving wildly at the audience.

“THIS GUY ALWAYS wanted to be an actor, his father was a producer in, in India’s movies, and so he was born in to the whole situation. And as a little boy, you got your first job, right?
Kapoor: ABSOLUTELY! I think I was about 12 years old, I ran away from my house to audition for my first film…(unintelligible).

Okay, I can’t transcribe more of this, not with this fakakta remote. You’re just going to have to live with paraphrasing, kids.

Anil tells a funny story about being 12 and how he was made up for his role, and how he refused to wash the makeup off of his face for two days. He was dirty for a purpose. As he expected, his friends at an “assembly” asked why his cheeks were a little red. “You know…I am acting in a film,” he replied in a hilariously pretentious way. “So everybody would know that I was acting in a film!”

Reeg asks if Kapoor was the host of India’s “Who wants to be a Millionaire?”, and when he answers negatively, they talk about Amitabh for a moment without mentioning his name. Kapoor relates that the show was so popular in India, that it was like “curfew” whenever it aired.

Regis then asks “Now was he upset that you got the role in Slumdog Millionaire?” Kelly says, “Mmmm!” like she finds this question oddly delicious. Kapoor brilliantly retorts, “Why don’t you ask HIM?” Regis is visibly shaken for the second time in five minutes but recovers quickly with a, “Well, I think he was! I think he was!” The audience applauds.

Kapoor then discusses how when Danny Boyle kept attempting to contact him for the movie, he blew off the phone calls since he “didn’t know who he was”. Only when Kapoor’s son realized what was going on did the situation change. Apparently, Kapoor Jr. dragged his father in to his bedroom and pointed at a poster which had been hanging there for years;”See that? Trainspotting? THAT’S Danny Boyle!! You just call him up right now! You call him right now!!” I’m thinking that AK owes Jr. a BMW for that crucial assist.

Regis compliments AK about Slumdog, “you played it so beautifully”. Anil returns the favor by smarmily telling Reeg that Reeg reminds him of someone…ah, yes. Dean Martin. Regis is concomitantly flabbergasted and as giddy as Kelly, who immediately asks, “Aneeel, who told you to say that to him!” AK then says “Ve Indians never lie!”

They cut to a clip from the movie. Anil claps for himself enthusiastically, but at least he doesn’t clap like a seal. Kelly tells AK that Reeg saw the movie before she did and later told her that it was the best movie he had EVER seen. Yowza. They discuss how he’s having the time of his life on awards shows and how he’s the toast of hollywood; when asked where he had dinner this weekend, AK exults, “Dustin Hoffman’s house!! What a host! WHAT! A! HOST!”

Kelly says “it’s so much fun just to watch you at the award shows, because your enthusiasm has taken us all on a journey, I mean it’s really been great to watch.” Anil expands on how happy he is but also emphasizes that the movie’s awards should go to the children. Cut to commercial break.

When they return, they’re on the Millionaire set (?!) and Anil is in the host’s seat. AK states that the “computer is not working”, which means he’ll have to just read from the cue card? Wtf? To do that, he needs his glasses. Except he can’t find them. He is ransacking his suit, pocket after pocket, exclaiming, “Where are the GLASSES!” and hamming it up to buy time for spectacle-searching.

He asks a question about Kelly’s soap opera past and I yawn. The appropriate music starts blaring and the graphic with multiple choice answers appears on screen. Regis gets the answer right and they’re both clearly having a great time trying to over-act and out-shout each other.

AK then says the Hindi phrase which starts with “Computer-ji lock something something”. Nice. The next question deals with when Regis’ anniversary is and the audience loves it. The third question is about college football and even I know the answer, because somehow, Regis Philbin’s sporting loyalties are floating through the atmosphere.

Perhaps because Anil says “Notre Dame” in a less-than-familiar way while asking the question, Regis over-enunciates the school’s name when choosing his final answer. At some point, Kelly joins Regis. Oddly, the show doesn’t end– it just goes in to even more commercials and then…wtf? The third hour of the Today show appears. Wow. We have come full circle, mutineers. I have found what I was looking for and you have been able to experience the cringe-inducing spectacle of Anil Kapoor and Regis Philbin, out-hamming each other. I feel dazed, and might require painkillers.

I love bloggin’, and all my friends they will agree
that when it comes to pimpin’ hoes bloggin’ shows…it ain’t easy (with apologies to all of you AND Big Daddy Kane)

::

*If you do send me a friend request, please tell me how we know each other, i.e. “I read SM and hate your posts but would like to be friends with you for some bizarre reason anyway.” I don’t approve reqs if I have no clue who someone is– hope that clears things up. :)

**Ask a Mallu. :p

49 thoughts on “Live-blogging Anil Kapoor on LIVE With Regis and Kelly

  1. Wow. Talk about commitment. I’m impressed with your ability to keep up your typing with what was going on.

    I curse the remote for not being as useful as Comcast’s (never, ever did I think I’d type the words “useful as Comcast” btw) is, back home.

    For serious. Comcast sucks.

  2. Madness!! I remember Anil Kapoor’s introduction bit (I am an actor…) on the SAG awards show. Mr Kapore’s celebrity keeps getting bigger.

    And now with Aishwarya’s Pink Panther coming up, Bollywood stars seem to be going global!

  3. And now with Aishwarya’s Pink Panther coming up, Bollywood stars seem to be going global!

    Too bad that movie looks terrble.

  4. Steve Martin, who was promoting the Pink Panther, preceded Anil Kapoor on Regis today, and when Martin was counting off the “great” Pink Panther cast, all seven or so names, he omitted Aishwarya. I thought that was curious given that he must have known Kapoor was sitting back stage and that, many desis will be watching the show today.

  5. OMG, Anna! This was hilarious. It’s not something i’d ever watch, but reading your live blog nearly gave me the fits–and just when i think i’ve over it, i think of “Kelly says, “Mmmm!” like she finds this question oddly delicious.” and crack up all over again.

    I hope everyone’s gotten over feeling embarrassed about AK because “what will people (Americans) think of us!?”

  6. I, of course, echo tppcc‘s love of Anil Kapoor. He is totally that embarrassing uncle-ji.

    But I love your liveblog recap of it even more. I haven’t watched the bit myself, but felt like I did after reading your rundown, especially the bit about the bearhug. ;)

  7. I JUST LOVE ANIL KAPOOR for being Punjabi to the bone!

    That bear hug and lift thing btw is a punjabi tradition that at least i was unaware of till recently. in a “milnee” at a wedding, you have relatives from the bride’s side greet (the “milnee”) from the groom’s side at the gate to the shaadee reception. Nobody warned me it’s an excuse for rassling. The next I know, I’m in a bear hug with a guy about 40lbs over me, my aunts telling me to lift him up [wtf!?] to show dominance, and then before i know it, i’m being rassled into the air. Mirth all around. My cuz was very disappointed with my showing. :-(

    Like I said, ANIL is the man and accordiing to P-PCC he has great legs too.
    thanks for the rev anna and for sharing the joie.

  8. To echo what others have say, I love the way Anil is non-pc. Can’t wait to see what he does at the Oscars if Slumdog wins.

  9. That post totally made my day – brought a smile to my face. I love the detailed coverage. I saw Anil on the Today show hanging outside with Al, Meredith, and Matt. He actually bent down and touched Matt’s feet while describing his reverence for Sir Anthony Hopkins!

  10. I remember sitting at my grandparents feet as a child, learning Hindi by watching Anil Kapoor in Mr India and other Bollywood films they’d watch with me to keep me in with the desh. Even back then in his screen persona he radiated a warmth and friendliness and joi da vivre that just can’t be faked. It’s really nice to see him enjoying such success, and to see how youthful and warm he still is, and how he really is the same person in real life that his screen roles projected. I think this movie showed he has real acting talent too.

    I was listening to the BBC Asian Network (as you know Dev Patel is from London), and all the main Slumdoggers have got agents in Hollywood now. I can see Dev and Freida having a good time and getting decent roles, but wouldn’t it be great if Anil could get a couple of good parts in American movies off the back of this. I’m thrilled for him, he is a decent guy, and a happy face from my childhood.

  11. Thanks for posting this!!! I turned on the TV this a.m. and caught the tail end of AK’s appearance with Hoda and Kathie Lee and was devastated that I’d missed it. TGFI (Thank God For Internet!) and for awesome people like you who take the time to tell us what we missed! I haven’t been watching Regis lately and want to kick myself for not turning them on today. It’s a silly thrill for me to see AK on American TV because I’ve been somewhat of a Bollywood fan and never thought I’d see him or Shah Rukh Khan onstage at an American awards show, much less appearing on Regis & Kelly!

    Thanks for posting!!

  12. Archana- it’s interesting that AK touched Matt Lauer’s feet when he described his respect for Anthony Hopkins. I’m pretty sure that he touched Hopkins’ feet after Hopkins announced that Slumdog won the SAG award a couple of weeks ago. It happened so quickly that I was never 100% sure that it actually happened, but I remember Anthony Hopkins looking really surprised afterwards.

  13. Between Anil and Regis, I really pity the scenery on that set. And the poor cleaners who had to deal with the raggedy bits that they chewed and spat out with such obvious gusto.

  14. Ha, so I googled for this and found a New York Mag culture vulture mention of Anil Kapoor and TMZ: they think he’s the bees knees (NYMag) and TMZ even seemed to like him. He’s definitely having fun with this. Good for him.

  15. “The dude’s hair already looks like a million bucks — and now the evil game show host from “Slumdog Millionaire” is making sure everybody in Hollywood knows he’s frickin’ rich, bitches.”

    Awww, TMZ.

    I don’t know why I find this all hilarious, but I do. Anil’s the one getting all the attention!

  16. Anil’s the one getting all the attention!

    They’re all getting attention! Freida seems to make everyone swoon, and Dev has already landed a part in M Night Shyamalan’s next movie and seems to be rocking the gawky sexy boy look. Good for them.

  17. hi fellow Mallu and namesake,

    greetings from Jamaica. that was a great blow-by-blow account, see that’s why twitter is so great, i get to read posts like this. i promptly retweeted it and am about to post it on fbook. i just saw Slumdog two days ago. had really mixed feelings. all my friends here love it but…i’m looking forward to reading how other desis have reacted to it.

    i was christened Anna after my paternal grandmother but my parents then proceeded to call me Annie…a name its taken years for me to get used to. anyway! gone for now–

  18. I’ve seen The Pink Panther 2. Aishwarya has a pretty decent role in it, and is way more articulate in English than I remember from Bride and Prejudice. Click on my name for a brief review.

  19. Dev was on the View today also-he even taught the ladies some mad dance moves…it was great!

  20. Ok, I dont know if anyone else caught this but at the SAG awards when Slumdog won the Best Ensemble cast or some such best movie thing – Anil Kapoor first tackled poor Dev Patel – all 120 pounds of him and then preceded to touch Anthony Hopkins’ feet. No kidding. If you saw the bit where Frieda Pinto and Dev Patel walk onto the stage – in the background – you can see Mr. Kapoor touching Anthony Hopkins feet…

  21. just saw dev patel on the today show…..had seen him earlier on Leno.What can you bitch about someone whos18 ?? but no , he came across as the affable boy next door…and managed to earn a collective aaanwww upon mentioning his mom as his partner at the Oscars.Eighteen ,eighteen EIGHTEEN !!!the guy better have his ‘fundaas’(protecksun mainly) polished.

    Freida I just caught on the youtube on some early morning show in november…and not since…….paging Mr Fredia’s agent… the babe talks well …..

    hope the media back in the des is treating the kids from the movie sensibly…

  22. AND dev was on colbert tonight. did a good job too! slumdog was overrated, but he seems like a cool kid.

  23. I don’t think the movie is overrated at all. I think it is the perfect movie for the times. Gene Seymour in the La Times got it right, it embodies the same spirit that carried Obama to the White House, Yes We Can. It also reflects a great change in India as it recovered from 200 years of colonial looting and the post-colonial controlled economy etc. India is now a place where multitudes of dreams can come true for those on the lower rungs. I have met many kids like this in India.

  24. thanks. good show. although, i’d love to see stephen do an interview with dev. that would be something :-)

  25. and as a side note….john oliver’s bit about kenya/obama, etc….dev patel’s parents were both born in kenya and he’s british….so would’ve loved to see the show run with that thread.

    kenya may be the country to watch for :-)

  26. I just saw Dev on Daily Show and I almost can’t stand how adorable and doe-eyed he is.

  27. 34 · Ghuriya said

    I just saw Dev on Daily Show and I almost can’t stand how adorable and doe-eyed he is.

    I did nt realize Dev grew up in Britain… and I also did know he was only 18.. omg! Lol, he cant legally toast with champagne in US.. omg

  28. Anil Kapoor was hamming it up a lot in the Golden Globes, it was irritating me then, but something about his insane enthusiasm is growing on me. I grew up watching his movies, who knew he would make it big globally? I wonder why Irfan Khan is not getting as much attention for his role, although he’s been appearing in Hollywood movies for a few years now. I haven’t seen Slumdog yet, is Khan’s role much smaller than Kapoor’s?

  29. 37 · cropper said

    and now most of the plagiarism I can ignore without any guilt.

    Plagiarism? I’m confused. Who is plagiarizing whom? Inquiring minds want to know!

  30. They cut to a clip from the movie. Anil claps for himself enthusiastically

    Ha! Rock it Anna. =)

  31. Guriya, Dev Patel is funny too. Did you see him on Letterman? Someone cast this guy in a big screen comedy!

    As for Anil Kapoor, his hair is his trademark. I love this guy.

    It looks like SM is already opening doors for Indian cinema in the US. Did you see the LAT and NYT reviews of Luck by Chance? IIRC, both mentioned this. And Vinod Chopra is casting a film in Hollywood, Broken Horses, and it has got to be a little easier thanks to the curiosity stirred up by SM. Meanwhile, Kambakht Ishq is coming up this spring, and that’s got some real Bollywood-Hollywood fraternizing in it.

  32. I heard about this post via Annie’s tweets. Why have I not come to this site before?? That’s a situation I will fix immediately! You are absolutely hilarious!

  33. speaking of protests and slumdogs, i have (also inspired by manjula sood and certain comments on sepia) been trying to organize my own protest for civil liberties on valentine’s day in india. spread the word, and do participate if you are going to be in delhi. if you’d like help check us out, see http://avalentineforindia.blogspot.com/ or email us at stopmoralpolicing at gmail dot com.

    intern, sorry for this OT comment. if any of you would like to help, please respond at http://avalentineforindia.blogspot.com/. thanks sepia, your remittance to the desh is to make it more mutinuous!

  34. While I don’t care much for Bollywood movies, I like Anil Kapoor. His enthusiasm and pleasure appears so genuine. Let him enjoy himself! On the other hand, Amitabh Bachan appears to be absolutely green with envy! He has made some very stupid statements regarding the movie.