Boy don’t try to front…

Posted on by

William Dalrymple has a must read book review of Ahmed Rashid’s “Pakistan in Peril Descent into Chaos,” in the New York Review of Books that I should summarize for SM readers. Man Booker Prize winner Aravind Adiga has published a short story in The New Yorker this week titled, “The Elephant” that I should also critique. Finally, Foreign Policy magazine has an article about how India scuttled Richard Holbrooke’s potential involvement in the Kashmir conflict that I know would make for a great debate on our site. But honestly, I am just tired of trying to front like I am smart or something. Instead, I just want to blog this trashy clip from my girl Tyra Bank’s show earlier this week. It features a desi guy that now goes by the porn-king sounding name “Shawn Valentino.”

<

p>Part 1

<

p>

<

p>Part 2

<

p>

<

p>

The first thing I am going to do is to re-do my SM business card now and put a picture of me blogging shirtless on it. I’ve “traveled the world.” I am “open minded.” I just want to “teach other people to be comfortable with themselves,” too! This guy really is a guru. He has convinced me too stop pretending to be something I am not. From here on out its business time all the time.

76 thoughts on “Boy don’t try to front…”

  1. Here’s some thoughts from a desi phd grad student who hasn’t had much (actually any) luck with women. Feeling slightly riled that a nit-wit like Shawn Valentino can get all the women he wants while genuine nice guy (ahem) like me is sitting in his lab with his d*** in his hand, I immediately came up with a theory that would restore my lost pride and make me feel superior again.

    Maybe your bad luck with women can more properly be attributed to your propensity to spend your spare time concocting theories and drawing graphs?

    Have you considered taking up a hobby? It seems the guitar has worked well for John Mayer.

  2. Amen on scoring. So these chicks, are you including desi chicks also in this group?

    Wait. Are we playing basketball now?

  3. I guess he’s openly honest in saying he doesn’t want to commit, etc. So I will give him credit for being truthful.

    But he’s not honest about his surname. How and why did he call himself “Valentino”? Does he have Italian ancestry or could he be an honorary Italiano? Maybe it adds to his “mystique” & he thinks it sounds more appealing than Panda or Panditharadhyal Balasubramanyam . The last name mentioned is real & it comes from the website : http://www.kamat.com/econtent/amusements/saythis.htm

  4. Indian dudes are just not sex obejcts and not usually part of that slut-fest that we see most of the white kids taking part in.

    You haven’t seen the brownz I have. I think desis need to see their own diversity before they can get other people to recognize it. Sure, there are those who fit the stereotypes, but the ones who don’t aren’t an exception to the rule. There are just as many “fly guy” desis as there are Shawn Valentino’s as there are IT nerds as IT hotties as etc etc. Esp with the 2nd gens going to college in the US. I’ve known plenty of slutty brown kids before, during AND after college.

    “Shawn Valentino” is just corny. He’s obviously battling some childhood insecurity or trying to compensate for not being one of the cool kids when he was younger. It’s easier to say you don’t want a commitment – you’re the one rejecting the relationships instead of the one being rejected. His lines are like failed lessons from “The Pickup Artist”. It did make me laugh when he was trying to talk about how he’s a model and “travels the world” and Tyra (though I’m not a huge fan of her show) poked through the holes in his schpiel since, obviously, she’s a former professional model and did travel the world modeling. He couldn’t tell her who he professionally modeled for and said, “no I do it for fun”. …….I “travel the world”…. “modeling”…. “for fun”.

    ….

    I wish he did have a girlfriend so she could take him on Tool Academy.

  5. 53 · gm said

    I guess he’s openly honest in saying he doesn’t want to commit, etc. So I will give him credit for being truthful. But he’s not honest about his surname. How and why did he call himself “Valentino”? Does he have Italian ancestry or could he be an honorary Italiano? Maybe it adds to his “mystique” & he thinks it sounds more appealing than Panda or Panditharadhyal Balasubramanyam . The last name mentioned is real & it comes from the website : http://www.kamat.com/econtent/amusements/saythis.htm

    Have you ever tried to introduce yourself in a noisy bar before? It’s hard enough with a name like Brian, let alone a name like Badrinarayan.

  6. gm said

    Have you ever tried to introduce yourself in a noisy bar before? It’s hard enough with a name like Brian, let alone a name like Badrinarayan.

    Hi, my name is Baddy.

  7. You dont need any type pick up line to get woman, I mean that is just lame.

    You just need to know how to do alot of magic tricks.

  8. Oh come on, he didn’t sleep with all those women, he just took pictures with them. It’s obvious he isn’t a “womanizer” he’s just an Indian guy trying really, really hard to convince everyone that he’s the shit.

    And as for the true “womanizers?” Please, let’s just be gender-neutral and not pretty it up…they’re just whores.

  9. 47 · Shoma said

    I grew up with S*** Mukherjee in Michigan.

    “Mukherjee”?! This kid can call me family?! Say it isn’t so!

  11. Wow. I have never seen Tyra’s show before, and I’m glad. How disgustingly trashy can you get?

    “Shawn Valentino”, far from being more attractive than Balasubramaniam, just sounds reeeeaallly sleazy. But he looks sleazy too. Ew, ew. I cannot see anyone I know ever finding him attractive. His manner is so…oily. And the dude’s a complete jerk. I was laughing when those two girls at the bar emphatically told him that they weren’t interested. However, props to him for at least being honest about himself. I don’t really care if he’s a womanizer or not, I just personally would never, ever, ever find him attractive.

    And Tyra was just being trashy by having him on her show, and then being extremely antagonistic towards him. I agree with most of what she said, but seriously, if you invite somebody onto your show as a guest, shouldn’t you treat them with some basic respect and politeness? She just pulled him on there to be insulting and rude.

    I also wonder what his parents would think about this. I’d imagine them hiding from their friends. And what about this guy’s professional colleagues, his law school professors? Can you even get a job at a good law firm when you’re sleazy trash like this?

    Ugh. He’s a disgrace to American desis everywhere. For those who saw him at this Bengali conference, what else did he say to you besides the “My mom thinks I’m gay” line?”

  13. This is hilarious, I cannot stop laughing! I love you SM! What’s funny is majority of the girls featured in the pics with him are well known porn stars. It looks like he went to a porn convention and asked to take pics with them (a lot of fans do this).

    You can see that he has rehearsed his lines when he talks to the women at the bar…he isn’t even really listening to them, he is concentrating really hard on what he should say next so he often talks over them. If dude was really comfortable with himself, he would slow it down and actually ask the woman about herself instead of talking about him enjoying life and traveling around the world so much.

    I’m torn cause I think that Western society really perpetuates an emasculated stereotype of Asian American men and this alter ego he has created is probably a response to that. How many Desi fathers teach you about approaching or dating women? Not saying he is a victim, but I truly feel sorry for him. At the same time, I think he is a creepy jerk that will carry his deep insecurities to the grave. Yuck.

  14. 63 · Ani said

    What’s funny is majority of the girls featured in the pics with him are well known porn stars.

    So now we know Ani’s taste in films runs to Slum Doggie Style Millionaire…

  15. I see alot of people saying he is a “disgrace to desi people” and I just want to know, why?

    If your not a cookie cutter minority member, then that makes you a disgrace? This guy is a giant douche bag, but he isnt a disgrace to anyone, except himself because he is clearly gay and is just trying to hide it.

  16. 65 · ShallowThinker said

    I see alot of people saying he is a “disgrace to desi people” and I just want to know, why?

    Excellent point, ShallowThinker. You make all desis proud with smart comments like this.

  17. Haha on his myspace page it says:

    BEING YOUNG, COOL, AMBITIOUS, SINGLE AND OPEN-MINDED, I AM LOOKING TO MEET PEOPLE OF ALL TYPES THAT SHARE MY VISION THAT LIFE SHOULD BE LIVED TO THE FULLEST. THAT DOES NOT NECESSARILY MEAN GETTING ALL KINDS OF WOMEN AND TRAVELING THE WORLD, BUT MEANS THAT I AM LOOKING TO MEET PEOPLE THAT ARE HAPPY TO BE ALIVE AND ARE ENJOYABLE TO BE AROUND.

    (emphasis added).

    But I thought that was your “thing”, Shawny?

    I AM LOOKING TO REVOLUTIONIZE SOCIETY WITH MY UNIQUE VIEW ON LIFE. I AM CURRENTLY WRITING A BOOK ON MY ADVENTUROUS MEMOIRS THAT WILL CHANGE THE WAY PEOPLE THINK ABOUT LIFE AND FORCE THEM TO THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX.

    He still makes me giggle.

    And a totally random question as to the many pictures of him making out with random girls: Who took the pictures? Especially the ones in his home and bedroom?

  18. MY ADVENTUROUS MEMOIRS THAT WILL CHANGE THE WAY PEOPLE THINK ABOUT LIFE AND FORCE THEM TO THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX

    .

    So you’re basically saying, Fuerza, that he’s tacitly admitted to being unable to get inside the box.

  19. And a totally random question as to the many pictures of him making out with random girls: Who took the pictures? Especially the ones in his home and bedroom?

    No no no. Those were modeling shoots he participated (but not worked) in as he traveled the world.

  20. 65 · ShallowThinker said

    I see alot of people saying he is a “disgrace to desi people” and I just want to know, why?

    poor guy; he’s just a nice laywer who’s into pro bonoer work.

  21. 62 · Manju said

    61 · Sam said
    Ugh. He’s a disgrace to American desis everywhere.
    since when were italians desi?

    He isn’t Italian, but your question does bring to mind a certain Italian desi…

  22. So you’re basically saying, Fuerza, that he’s tacitly admitted to being unable to get inside the box.

    Egg-zactly, Manju.

  23. All of this attention has brought him the most awful of public takedowns…

    He is now a featured and highly mocked douchebag on the website “Hot Chicks With Douchebags”

    Some of the comments are vicious. Others are hysterical but you have to wade through ethnic taunting though.

    On the other hand, Mr and Mrs Mukherjee will be so proud of their son accomplishing perfect attendance at every porno convention and getting his pic taken with all the paid to pose starlet wannabes. That’s what all of the pics on his page are from.

    Well done, Beta. Well done.

  24. I also grew up with “Shawn Valentino” in Michigan. This alter ego he’s created is bizarre on its own but even more so if you know him in person…he’s a kinda awkward sort who sometimes can’t seem to look you in the eye. The Shawn Valentino character is totally at odds with the real guy, it makes the whole thing even crazier.

    He’s an only child whose dad passed away a few years ago, sadly. His mom is really nice and mild mannered. Don’t know what she knew before, but she found out about the Tyra appearance and was very angry and embarrassed according to the grapevine. A lot of the other auntys/uncles heard about the show too. So now a new generation is gossipping and snickering about him.

    I’ve heard rumors about the supposed ways he earns $ which I won’t repeat. But really I can’t help but feel sorry for him. The whole thing is pathetic. And gross. At the NABC he was handing out his “business cards” to everyone, even teenagers and it got around to even younger kids. I don’t think he has much game other than scoring with desperate women and getting hookers to pose for pictures. In person he’s a nice guy…I guess I hope he’s happy deep down doing what he’s doing or gets some help, maybe.

  25. oops just saw the dates on this thread and how late to the party i am…oh well!